Probability of Demise

By the dark and haunted shore
Where the ghostly whispers soar
We serve our dread liche lord
Undead fleet with a curse aboard

Yo ho yo ho a minion's life for me
In the nights we roam
For the liche unfree
Yo ho yo ho under the moon's cold gleam
In the dark we row
In the shadow's dream

Bones that rattle in the hold
Eyes that gleam a tale untold
Our master’s magic bold
Commands in whispers cold

Yo ho yo ho a minion's life for me
In the nights we roam
For the liche unfree
Yo ho yo ho under the moon's cold gleam
In the dark we row
In the shadow's dream

In the fog we find our path
Guided by the liche's wrath
No stars to point the way
Still we sail both night and day

Yo ho yo ho a minion's life for me
In the nights we roam
For the liche unfree
Yo ho yo ho under the moon's cold gleam
In the dark we row
In the shadow's dream

Hey, welcome to Probability of Demise. It is a different format, different look, because this is a bonus one shot. And in this bonus one shot, we get to introduce an awesome new member of the cast for the one shot. Um, and then if you decide we need to recruit them permanently, uh, we just have to like re employ them somehow.

So hit like, subscribe, the bell, give us some money here. All the comments. Guilty. Want to introduce Naz. Yes. All the comments. I want to introduce Naz. Naz, do you want to share anything about yourself? Um, I'm a nerd like everybody else, that's about it. Sweet, sweet. That's exactly what we all need to be, right?

We've prepped for this, played some BG3 together, so. Very true, yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta play a couple, like one time with you both. Yeah. Yeah, definitely need to play more of that right now because they've done so many updates and I'm like, I just want to do the crazy chaotic run through. Yeah. Like, no, we're gonna do this, then this, then this, no, no saves, no scrum saves, just whatever hits your fancy, go for it.

Alright, that's rough, but okay. That's my happiness space right now. Uh, so, oh look, there's light on both sides of my face now. Squirrel! Uh, also welcome back, Jason, Jason, do you want to introduce yourself? No, I don't. Uh, and Larissa, Larissa, do you want to introduce yourself? Sure. I'm Larissa. Um, I've been in New York for 12 years.

I met Rorick, um, in a, uh, group forming D and D. event put on by a local gaming store and haven't looked back. Yes. We all joined. We wanted to be social right before we came anti social. We had one session in person and then the city and the world shut down. Jason, second chance. I'm hi, I'm Jason. I, uh, got into D& D cause I'm married to Larissa.

And if I wanted to ever see her, I had to play D& D. So here I am. Yeah, we had rules in our group when we formed that spouses had to be recruited. Um, and well, in your, in your original game, I was just the guy who came in and made coffee and like gave you snacks and then went back to his bedroom. So after a while, I was like, maybe I should just play this legit having an.

In, in person servitor. I was like the butler for their original game. Wow. I didn't even know this. Not actually, he's just bullshitting. Uh, we used to call Jason's Cinderfella. Cinderfella. Oh my God. I'm just full of crap. Stupid. Stupid. Gossan, gossan, another cake please. I would like to defend myself and say that when I went to sign up for this event.

Way, way back when I looked at Jason and I said, do you want to come with me? And he said, nah, it's not really my thing. Uh, I'm Eric and it's definitely my thing. I love stories and storytelling and that's really all this is. And this is my pod with a bonus pod NAS and you don't get them. So you've got to go find your own.

We're going to go ahead and jump into the session. The drowned city of necromantia where life. Fuels, undead. The once mighty city, metropolis, whatever you want to call it, that we know is New York City in our modern lives. Now lies, fathoms deep, a skeletal cityscape choked by seaweed and teeming with the restless dead.

Above the churning waves and ramsackle towers of salvaged metal and scavenged wood, piercing the sky forming the floating. Sort of. Necropolis of Necromantia. Ruled by undead lich lords and a hidden figure that no one's quite figured out. And utilizing living beings to make things happen. You have taken the adventurer's gamble in one form or another.

It's a location that offers some perilous yet potentially lucrative trade opportunities and has drawn so many. For various reasons, some to aid and secure and some to get rich quick,

get busy living or get busy. I'm dying. Hey, that's what I'm talking about. See, see, that was good. That was good. Yeah. Yeah. That's why he's the writer. Here it is. You've each just finished. A contract of various sorts, different ones. And let's take a moment and visit with our hero opportunist Kairos. Oh, oh wow.

Um, you've stepped out of the leech lord space.

Can you describe yourself and give us a hint as you stand before the bone decorated, vast, vault like door that leads to where you just recently, um, finished

your work. Yeah, um, yeah, uh, Kyros is, I guess it's just like a, I'll just give a general description. Uh, Kyros is a tall, Um, You know, well kept, but not too well kept. But, um, tall gentleman. Has black and white streaks in his hair. Uh, bright green eyes. Kind of more closer to teal, but bright green eyes. Um, Sleeveless hoodie, but with like a breastplate on top of it.

You know, um, Spangulous gloves. Sleeveless. Like, armored pants, almost, and with a staff on his back, um, and a scar, and on his left arm, uh, it is almost as if it looks like it is, um, being enveloped by, um, Uh, some kind of black energy in a way. Um, but yeah, and Tyrus is very, uh, very stern looking. Um, but, uh, yeah, after, you know, after he's done, he's, uh, pretty worn out, but also feeling rather rewarded for what he's done for his contract after.

Oh, and well rewarded you were because Harold paid out to have their contract. Enemy, turned over to them, and while you're not sure if the moniker Blood Red Boris will last throughout the ages, the cackling you heard as you were handed cash definitely made an impression. At the same time, there were some looks that you received as you were stepping out.

Not everybody was enjoying the moment, so to speak. Can you go ahead and roll an insight check and let's see how dark that situation was. Oh man, I would like to be a good listener. Okay. All right. I'm not mad at it. Uh, 16. 16. Great. With a 16, uh, I think you kind of do a mental catalog of your adventures.

And this is the big score. This is the big score that people come to Necromantia to achieve. And you've made that big score. Nice. Ayyy. Turning over a leash lord to another leash lord is a big win. But it also probably means all bridges have burned. Who's gonna trust you now? And unless you're willing to pledge your soul.

your bones, your flesh, and your future undead life to herald. You don't know if you've got many places to turn. Oh, man. What do you think you're gonna do? Your crew, by the way, has taken their split, and with some surreptitious looks to the shadows, Have all made their own decisions. And your momentary elegant pose in front of this door may be a little bit diminished as the shadows of your crew slide off into the deeper shadows of Necromantia.

Dang. Oh, man. Um. Okay, bye. Yeah, kind of, a little bit. Um. I, I, I will not be turning my soul over to anybody. Um, uh, I, I will, I'll make my own way and try not to, to, you know, obviously, you know, I don't, I don't want to be like not trustworthy at all, but, uh, yeah. So, I mean, I'm not gonna, you know, turn over my soul or my, my person for any leash Lord at all.

So I will, I will walk away. From this, without, um, Planting my loyalty in my soul. Well, ten thousand gold richer, You go hunting your rout. From this location, and we can see Naz headed off to the docks, which, honestly, Necromantia is nothing but docks. Pick one, pick one. And Larissa and I immediately rob Naz.

Ow! That was maddening! So we've met Kairos, and as we see the camera kind of panning along the war front, And we dive a little bit closer to a series of crates piled high. Larissa, your character is sitting down, out of sight, gathering her thoughts, or their thoughts, as they realize,

Crap, there's not an ally here, and you're being hunted, actively. By your own crew. Describe yourself to us, and what led you to these circumstances. Alright, um, so Lady Angora, um, is a paladin who follows, uh, Corell um, sorry, uh, uh, Lyra. Uh, who is the joy bringer. So, uh, her, her tenants are, uh, about beauty and freedom and, uh, the joy of life.

And so originally she came to Necromantia to, uh, help people who kind of had gotten stranded here, help them leave so that they didn't have to lose their lives and pledge their undead lives. Um, In an effort to help one such soul, she got swept up in, uh, with a crew, uh, along with this soul who was hired to do a job.

Um, For like one last thing just to get them funds to get out of there. Um, the crew decided to, uh, swindle or at least not be entirely truthful to the, uh, Lich Lord that hired them. And lying is not exactly, uh, Lady Angora's cup of tea, but she did promise she wouldn't say anything. Um, And then, as they were all walking out the door, uh, she may or may not have recommended that the, uh, lord have, uh, the item appraised.

Um, and so, now she is essentially at odds with, uh, everyone that she was, uh, working with. And, uh, you see a Very small, as in size small, um, rabbit person with all white fur, um, but wearing plate armor. So small, but mighty. Um, she has one of her ears, uh, flops over the other one goes straight up, but the other one flops over.

And at the end of it, you see an earring that, uh, a ring with a pendant on it that is her holy symbol. Which is a hair in a sunburst. Um, and she has two, uh, double bladed scimitars across her back. And then a shield over those. So, very like, hit it out. Um, and you just, she's just, Get my stupid mouth. Just, I just wish.

Just, okay, just figure out, just, Just, just take one step. That's all you gotta do. You just gotta take one step and then you figure out what to do next. And so she goes to take a step out from behind the crates. Yeah, uh, Noz, go ahead and roll a perception check. Cool. Because me and my plate armor is so stealthy.

Ha ha ha! I see nothing. Um. You never know. Again, plate armor. A solid eight. Awesome. Noz, your intent as Kairos on finding a step out, a skiff, a dinghy, it really wouldn't matter at this point because. A form of transport is a form of transport, and in Necromantia and the waters surrounding it, there is no flying, no airships serve here, no floating cities to rescue, uh, one of the greatest benefits of the undead waters for the undead is that none of those living cities can come visit here.

All the trade has to be brought to the borders of the sea where Holy water contains their less than holy selves. And, as you're on the hunt, you almost trip over and through this odd creature. Because, based on your history and knowledge and who you are, you can immediately recognize someone who does not belong, especially someone who's got holy magic kind of just emanating and trembling into your nature sphere.

And as you kind of trip into and fall over, it's almost amazing that you didn't see this person because Haringan in general are not exactly frequent visitors to these shores, much less a holy one.

I guess as I trip, I turn and I see this further creature that should be here. Um, I was like, you're a little bright to be in Necromancy, ain't you? I mean, yes, but that's, that's just, I was born that way. That's just the color of my fur. I'm just, I can't help that part. Right. Um, cool. What are you, what are you doing in some crates?

What is, what is happening? Um, well, um, I was, It's kind of a long story, but, um, Okay, uh, I came here to help people, What And I was trying to help one person and they got given this job. And so I also went on the job and then, um, they wanted to lie to the person that gave us the job and that's not really my thing.

Um, but I tried to go along with it. And then at the last minute, I just kind of flubbed it up and told the truth. And now everybody hates me. Okay. I mean, I wasn't looking for the whole life story, but all right. That wasn't my whole life story. That was just, you know, three days. Oh, you've been busy. Well, you know, I'm kind of a rabbit, so, that's what we do.

What is that? Doesn't matter. Um, you got like a Very late for an important date. You got a, um, you got a boat or something to get out of here, or are you just, uh? Uh, no. Uh, sorry. No, I, I was, I mean, that's not a bad idea, but Do you think? Well, I mean, I'm not

I know I made some people angry, but it's not like I made everybody angry. I know I said everybody hates me, but I meant everybody on the, on, on that one crew, I have helped some people, a bright one. Everyone's angry and necromancer. It's not a great place to be. Um, that's exactly why I came here. What you want to make everybody happy.

Is that what you're looking for? Well, I mean, if, if, well, how people work through their angry or anger, and then You know, maybe help them not pledge their undying souls to, to people and, and such, and, and I don't know, um, and then help, and help them leave, but not necessarily leave myself. Let me give you some advice.

Find a way out of here. You're probably not gonna be able to get there. Which you want to get done. I mean, I appre I, I, you know, see that you really want to do this and I, uh, Recognize that you really have a drive and a determination for that. But, uh, yeah, this ain't the place. If you look around, you are very out You stand out a lot for what this place actually is.

But, uh, you know, you have fun with it. I gotta find a boat and get out of here. As you say, I gotta find a boat. Could I have you both roll a perception check? No! You're a druid. Isn't wisdom your highest thing? You should be fine. Oh, yeah, I am fine. You're right. Never mind. 23! Hey, that's a good roll on my part, too.

Uh, uh, no, no. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. But don't be sorry. No, not actions. No. You're doing great, sweetie. Skills. There we go. Skills. You're doing great. Look at that. Um. Just don't forget, Naz, you have advantage on perception checks. I knew that! What? Obviously. Why would you remind me of this thing? I already do. Duh, I know that.

Um, it's okay. My other one was better anyway. It's fine. Um, a natural 20 for me. Yay! Awesome. So, what I'll say is our Haringon friend you as you're talking to this individual you catch sight of some of your former crew. The, the people that you were with. The person you were trying to help is with them, and while they might have a tiny bit of empathy for you, uh, you're wise enough to know that that's not true right now.

They're looking for blood, and you see them scouring this dock area. Nas, you actually hear the words You've just met this person. You hear the words. I'm going to skin that little bunny's ass. And wear it on my new cloak. Oh my god. It's so brutal. And in this moment, with a gang of individuals coming down the dock at speed, looking murderous and horrific, we're going to pan back out.

And we're going to retreat back up to the steps of the door that Naz just left, and we're going to go back within, where the various pirate lords, the traitors, the individuals who are, um, employed and or enslaved by the Liege Herald,

Stand back. Offering their gifts, their tributes, and the results of their hunts. And we see, uh, a little bit, maybe salt corroded, but we see a gargantuan being, relatively. Before Harold handing over an item. Uh, Bruce, would you like to introduce yourself? Hello. I'm Bruce. Bruce is an acronym. It stands for Battle Ready Universal Combat Entity.

Oh, it's so cool. Dang. Bruce is a warthog. She's like six and a half feet tall. Like 300 pounds. Oh, I love that. Might accidentally step on Larissa later. So, yeah, Bruce was brought here because of his ability to not have to breathe. So he was hired by a crew to, uh, like search underwater for a relic that Harold wanted.

Um, it was like a, uh, uh, like a scepter. Like it was supposed to be like this powerful, magical artifact. And when they found it, it was like this moldy piece of crap that was like, washed up on like a piece of an abandoned temple, like, that was poking above the water. And it had a pigeon inside of it, um, living in it.

And they couldn't get the pigeon to go away. Like Bruce kept it. taking the pigeon and throwing it in the air and it would just come back and land in the scepter and so they brought it to harold and convinced harold that the pigeon is actually an avatar of the goddess tanzanite And, um, this is a powerful death artifact.

And, uh, then they're trying to get away before Harold Victor's out. So they've just finished your, your crew has just finished their conversation. And you're large, you've been under the salt water for a bit. Your body takes a moment, but your crew isn't around you anymore. And as Harold is holding this sphere with a pigeon inside of it, reverently, And beginning to cast a spell.

You can see that Harold has had a rough day. Harold had, uh, just found out that something he was given was not an effective magic item. And then was gifted another leechlord, which, after the crew that brought it and dropped it off, uh, left. You can see that the entire court, uh, of undead creatures and beings, vampires, etc.

was a buzz. And definitely there's a lot of concern, problem, troubles. Probably also a lot of avarice and greed because the parts of a leash, those could be used for some pretty powerful spells. And your crew is handed over This pigeon in a bobble, in a bubble, basically. And this bobble I'm a pigeon in a bobble, babe.

Sorry. They, they've, they've kind of melted away and you've been left behind. Did they take all the money? No, you have your share. Okay. How much is my share? Um, I believe that Harold has been very Gift happy and you currently have, uh, let's see, there's 8, 000 gold,

you know, you've seen fortunes come and go though in your centuries of service. So this would be enough for an overhaul. I think I'm like, he's like inspecting or playing with the new artifact. I'm just like, Walking back towards the door but as my legs go it's like quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quick.

You emerge from the hall, framed once again in the same door that Naaz's character, uh, Kairos was framed in not just moments before. Um, and as is the way of things in Necromantia, crews come and go. Uh, nobody sticks around for long, especially when a big payout comes out. Ah, it's Greed rules when the leash lords aren't watching and speaking of greed, you hear this group racing down the wharf and they're right in front of your skiff, they're in your way and you kind of got to get out of here before Harold finishes casting that spell and finds out that the pigeon is just a pigeon and the bobble Less than a bobble, but there's a whole crew of individuals in your way.

I'm just gonna Just like walk through them Like they're not even there I'm just gonna like roll an intimidation check

That's a nine No, you go to march through just as you are in the midst of the crew You hear one yell. There she is And she's got help. Kill it.

And I would like all of you to roll initiative as this mob decides that Kairos must be in league with this Harringon and Bruce. Having marched into the midst of them, you could either be seen as part of that crew or the barrier. But regardless of what situation it is, your skiff is not. 70 feet down the pier.

Okay. Go ahead and roll initiative. If you don't know your initiative, um, Bruce, you do have advantage on initiative rolls. Just a reminder. What happened? I had, I had two good enough rolls and they, they decided, the dice guys decided no this time. Um, it's fair. I understand that. Okay, uh, so I'm gonna go Lady Angora.

I know what Bruce's was. Lady Angora, what'd you get? Nineteen. I beat you. Hey, I'm just happy it is over 10 because Ulua has not been, Ulua has not been good. A solid 9. Nice. This actually plays really well into the whole story so far. I'm, that's, I'm digging this. 'cause like you didn't get caught up in this on purpose.

Right? Exactly. . But, but this bunny rabbit here, this fur suit. Excuse me. Very cute. First suit, . It's rough. Uh, great. So positivity in a fur suit. Thank you, Bruce. You don't know if it's 'cause you're in the way or if it's because. These people are already driven crazy, but you feel the whack of a large quarterstaff to the back of your, uh, setup, which happens to be where you've stashed the gold.

And I would love you to roll a perception check, or no, insight check before we even get this off. Uh, 12. Ooh, with a 12, they're robbing you. Oh! 100 percent they're robbing you. You walked into a mob and they're robbing you. Uh, does a 17 hit? It does not. Ooh! So they whack, but your armor and the protection of your armor Uh, maybe it's in the protection of the gold itself, but the protection that you have around your compartment for storing gold blocks the shot.

And all we hear is that loud chink, but they are definitely going for your stuff. Uh, Lady Angora does a 16 hit. You are small. You're quick. And you duck just in time and miss getting smacked as the hit goes wide. Kairos does a 17 hit. Oh, it just meets it. Oh, meets it, beats it. Actually, I want to play this out a little bit differently.

So there's a whack and, uh, you hear the reverberating chime of a construct, a metal being. Ringing. And with that ringing, it distracts you for just a moment as you watch the, the, the Herringon duck. And as you watch it also duck, and the distraction, the complication of what's going on, and this, uh, second quarter staff comes and strikes you at the collarbone, you're gonna take four points of damage.

No. Blood Force. Oh!

Shiza. Bruce, it is your turn. I'm just gonna turn towards the dude that hit me. Like, click, click, click, click, click. Look down at him. And I'm gonna say, Come on, baby. Light my fire. And I'm gonna pull out my, uh, flametongue longsword. And it's gonna go, That's my bonus action. Oh my god, is that the verbal for it?

Yes. Come on baby, light my fire. And then I am going to slash him with it. Okay, roll that attack. I need to look at my actual attack. Attack. He attack. Does it 15 hit? 15 hits, yes. Okay. So that

is a well of damage. Nice. Wait, is there more for the fire? Yes. Dude, I rolled so it's a V. It's an eight for the sword. I rolled an eight. The first of the two D six for the fire was a six. Nice. So nine, uh, 21 damage. How much of that was fire damage? Uhhh, nine. Nine. The nine additional fire damage is doubled.

Because this was someone on their way to undead hood, and they were extremely vulnerable to fire. And they ignite a little fireball. And Their scream as they ignite and catch on fire reverberates along all the wharfs and attention is drawn. Eyes are looking. But, in this moment you have defeated the first of the attackers, the first of the robbers, the first of these thieves.

Did I see them, Rob? Bruce. Rob. You definitely heard it. Yeah, right. When the banging hit. That's just what Bruce thinks. Bruce rolled a 12 on the insight check. Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. That's why Bruce is being robbed. Okay. Okay. Got it, got it, got it. Okay. Uh, that takes us to Lydia and Gora. Um. Unless, uh, Bruce had any other You did a bonus action.

Action. Um, Yeah, I'm good. Cool. Okay, am I still next to, um, You're still next to Kairos. that I Yes. I don't know your name. And you just dodged the quarterstaff that struck them. I like the story of telling of that better than I like the story of telling of two different attacks. And so they've taken a smack for you already.

Mm. Mm. Um, I am going to, uh, go over to them and go, Hey, you okay? And I'm gonna And I just, just like pat, like, his kneecap. Cause I'm probably that's about where I can reach. Um, he said tall, right? Yeah, probably kneecap, maybe mid thigh. He's probably like 6'1 6'2 Okay, yep, nope, we're good. Okay, and I'm gonna cast Cure Wounds.

Uh, so you get six points back, um, and then, uh, I would like to attempt to move, uh, closer to the warforged. It's like moving into the crowd a little bit. Yes. Um, I don't know, I guess, are there a lot of people between him and I? It's like four or five people are all grouped up and the Warforged just kind of waded into the middle of them.

And you're just kind of wading in there a little bit to get there. So it's not like you're moving past a lot of individuals. You may be, you're already in range of them, so it's not like you're moving into and out of range of others. Okay. Um. So I would like to move closer to him. And then I would like to use a rabbit hop to try to hop over the group between me and him and land on his shoulders.

Okay. So, uh, I can jump 10 feet without provoking opportunity attacks. Yeah. So you leap out of the air that all these. These, these beings are, you, you really leap easily in this situation. You could leap from where, uh, uh, Kairos is. Kairos, you've just been abandoned. They passed the heel on you. That's not true!

And they just leapt out of the space, which is kind of impressive. I mean, There's probably a reason why such a shiny individual actually is able to survive here. It's probably because they can get out of the trouble that they bring. I'm getting a better vantage point. Uh, and as they bounce out of the space, uh, Bruce, this creature is coming down towards you.

Do you want to use a reaction to dodge out of the way so it can't land on you? Or are you going to allow it to land on you? Um, I will allow it to land on me. Alright, so yeah, uh, Lady Angora. But when she does, I'm gonna turn my head and be like

I'm gonna try to blow her off my shoulder like a Like an insect landed on me. As he does that, I kind of look at him and I go I don't breathe, so it's not actually doing anything, probably. It's like, it's like a vacuum that actually doesn't have plug in. I'm just, I'm just trying to get a better vantage point.

Um, I'm not going to hurt you. I see. Unless you try to hurt me. I will not try to hurt you. Thank you. But it looks like they're gonna, I mean they're trying to hurt me, and apparently now my new friend, so, um, maybe we could do something about that. I have already killed one. Friend is a strong word!

Acquaintance then! Barely! As you shout barely, is that the end of your term? Yes. As you shout barely, uh, You are the center of their attention. And, uh, Bruce was ancillary. Uh, Kairos is definitely someone that they've assumed is associated with you. And now that you've healed Kairos. And they've seen that.

Yes. They, they're definitely going to be doubling down, and so you can see the group of five split. Three focused on What? Guilty by association? Totally. Three focused on, uh, the two of you, and two focused on you, Kairos. And, unfortunately, one each are still available to do their attacks, and they rolled right in.

In between, right before Kairos at 10. So, uh, one of them is swinging at Kairos, and one of them is going to swing at the, uh, combo deal here we got going on. So, what I would love to do is have a new roll. Sorry, I gotta find a new dice, because my last roll on that dice was garbage. I had to give away way too much that time.

Ugh, that was not a better dice. Uh, so I'm going to go, since Angora is the focus, does a 12 hit? Me? Yeah. Nope. As they miss, and you can hear it clang off of Bruce a bit, again, not causing any damage to Bruce, but Angora, you're, you're, they, they didn't even get high enough to hit you really, they just, they were swinging towards you, but.

The basin where you're positioned, it clanged off of Bruce a little bit, and then, uh, garbage. Nas does a 16 hit. It does not. Sweet. Hooray! So, Kairos also, as these individuals are trying to take you down, uh, members of, although nobody knows this except for Miss Angora, Lady Angora, uh, the members of their former crew, Uh, that they may or may not have any loyalty to whatsoever because clearly they weren't the point, but, uh, they are going after you all and Kairos, you have with that swing, a moment of breathing room and the ability to take in the, the ensuing battle, the unfolding situation and decide, are you going to align yourself with that bunny rabbit and that robot thing, or are you going to.

What are you going to do? Because this is pressure, unneeded, unwarranted pressure, and you have 10, 000 gold on your person. I would say, I mean, at the end of the day, they're attacking me. So I will attack them. It's just, that's just how that's going to work, especially in this spot. So, um, as that swing and miss happens, I'm just going to, one, I'm already upset cause I got to deal with all this.

Cause that was fine. I was just trying to find a way out of here. But, um. I'm gonna just be like, I'm having a really good day. Had a good job. It's really nice. So I'm gonna need all of you To back off and as soon as I say that my eyes are gonna fully turn that green that I my pupils were and I'm gonna Transform as you hear my my bones cracking and everything as I transform into if I can I think I can a direwolf And with that I'm gonna Since that is a BONUS action, because I'm sort of, uh, I am also, I am also going to bite the, whoever the person is in front of me.

Yeah, so you have two choices. Either one, the one that most recently whacked you, or the person that actually caused damage. Um, oh! The one that hit me. The one that actually hit me. Yeah, okay. Okay, cool. Um, cool. And I'm gonna, yeah, let me go ahead and roll that real quick. And the dire wolf looks like this.

Yes. Just with green eyes. Looks like it was dead with green eyes. That's it. That's the only difference. A green eyed, freaking, happy mutt. Wait, where were you? I don't know if I should show that. I don't know if I should show that. I'm not looking. He's not looking at it. There's a six in it. Oh, okay. I love her.

I'm trying to turn the most peaceful puppy into a dire wolf, and it's not working. I love her so much. Uh, 16? Yes, sir. That exactly hits this individual. Oh, let's go. You can feel it, like, slice through thick leather. Nice. Alright, cool. As your teeth sink in deep. Amazing.

Uh, that is going to be 10 piercing damage. Um, and you have to make a DC 13 strength saving throw or be knocked prone. Ayyyy! Knocked prone. Oh! Loved it.

You bite down, pounce, and knock, and they are sprawled on the wharf here, the wood creaking a bit, and the splashing of water underneath reminding you that you stand above the deep. Yeah, um, and I'm just gonna look at the other one. Can I try to like, intimidate him, possibly? Just like, you know. You don't You are a dire wolf who's, and if, if you'll roll the intimidation check and then we'll see where it lands and then you have to role play out whatever it lands on.

That's fun. Okay, that's fine. I got it.

Dang it. Um, dang, it's a four. Um, awesome. So what does that look like as you fail this intimidation? I look up, like, I, I, I like put a paw on the one that's prone. I look up at the other one. And as soon as I do, I try to like, howl, but like, as soon as I do it's like, I'm like, so I try, but to no avail, obviously.

I think that this other individual, they're a squirrel and individual. They have the features of a squirrel being, uh, they've taken up the recent, uh, behavior of shaving their face, like a lot of people do. Uh, members of that tribe have done. And they have tattoos all over the And they they look like an intense individual and as you, like, stand up on that and then you you you kind of, like, make your presence known to them.

You see this, like, momentary flicker of fear change into I I I just get upset, like, damn it. Like, in my head. Yeah, anybody who had, uh, animal thoughts in this area just heard.

Alright, that takes us back up to the top, unless you had anything else you could pull up on that. Okay, great. So, um, Bruce, you have two of the individuals, um, one dead, so that's, yeah, you have two individuals whose turn is. around you, and they're going to swing again at that fluffy bunny that's on top of you.

Um, actually one is going to swing ten. I'm guessing that misses. Um, the other one is going to cast a spell and I need uh, Lady Angora to make a wisdom saving throw. Oh dear. Oh no. Ahhhh. A natural 20.

As you hear this person say down, trying to make you step off the robot, you just, no, dang, not gonna happen. And the magic just rebounds off of you. Nothing happens. I just like, I just like. Grab the ear. That's slightly bent, almost like tipping it like a hat. And I go, in my head, it goes in the, it goes in the tall ear and then the fluke ear goes, boop, as it just goes back out the other ear in one

Down. No, no. There's only this much space between my ears.

Somewhere there's a brain. Bruce, it is your turn. Um, so there's two people like right in front of me. They're right in front of you. They keep whacking you possibly by accident. And if you would like to roll an insight check to understand more about the situation, you are more than welcome to try that again.

But. They're either robbing you and this bunny's helping you, or they're robbing both you and the bunny, and this other individual who the bunny healed. Like, you, you can see how these individuals are after the three of you for whatever reason. And, you know you have funds right now. You do recognize, I will say, you do recognize, um, Kyros has the one who delivered that leash sword and got paid off really well.

So they're probably being robbed as well, as far as, unless you want to, I'm into it now. It's fine. I don't need, I don't need insight. They made, they made the mistake of bonking me another done. So they're both like, right. How far away is, uh, Kyros? Kyros is maybe like 10 feet away. And then just beyond him, it's like 40 to 50 feet to your skiff.

Okay, and is Kairos in the direction that these two people are in front of me or no? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Uh, uh, the No cones for you. The two people that are, one who's down, and the one who's still standing and was possibly intimidated, they're in front of you. These other people are to your sides. Good. So, so Naz is not here.

No. In that case, I will cast, um,

I feel a cone coming on. Burning hands. Oh, okay. Yep. Yep. Nope. Yep. It's a cone. I will say, uh, burning down the house. And I'm going to hold my hands up. And a cone of fire, 15 feet, which, uh, 630 saves. Is Bruce partially built out of a jukebox? Well. Probably. Probably. Probably. That'd be so cool. He's a jukebox inside him.

There's some, yeah. They both made their save, which I think means they are going to take just half damage. Yeah, yeah. But roll that damage. Roll that beautiful half damage. That beautiful damage. So 11 damage, so they take 5 each. No. Because they're But then double again because they're So they're gonna take the full 11.

It all just cancels out. And they, they look crispy, but still functional. That one individual, you're really burned. But these two, they look like they have seen better days. That's the name of my punk rock album. Crispy but still functional. Crispy but still functional. Uh, yeah, so as they, like, catch fire and their skin crisps a bit and the juiciness leaves and you realize that these are probably ghouls Okay.

Um Is the word juiciness really necessary?

Can I reframe that for you? Would that be helpful? Uh, only if you're not gonna make it worse. Yeah, they were moist and now they're not. , a little viscous, actually, . Marissa loves viscous as a word. Oh yeah. That's a good word. Yeah. Their viscosity levels have been reduced to un viscosity, emotional to a stale level.

they've gone from like rare to well done.

Um, I don't have any bonus actions for this situation, so I'm done. Alright. Uh, having expended this fire and really taken the docks by storm. Also, any flammable objects in that cone are also on fire now, so boxes, things The docks are on fire. You are now trapped behind fire as it continues to burn. And really, uh, anybody who wants to, as a free action, you can roll a perception check to figure out what the situation is going to be.

Um. Um. Oh, I guess this doesn't count. That one's not as good. Does this perception check rely on either hearing or smell? No. Um. No.

Twenty two. Thirteen. Nineteen. I'm too

high up. I can't see shit. I can't see all the way down there. I'm up above the cloud! I can barely breathe! So, somebody rolled the high like who rolled low when that was just Lady Angora, right? Um, but the other two you pick up, I think, just because you rolled decently high, um, that the, the fire actually takes on a sudden acrid stench.

And I'll give that for you, Naz, just because you did ask about that. And that is a sharp contrast to the usual salty tang of being in this space. And as this fire is catching, and you can tell that it's going to be a serious fire, black smoke is starting to burst out of the heart of that section of the dock area.

And it's actually, it's a little animated, and you're not sure what's going to come from it. But you can tell that the, this fire from an unknown spark. Well, let's say, let's not take responsibility here, uh, is gonna spread with some terrifying speed and, um, the dock is switching from people watching curiously to people running off some streams, but mostly, uh, those are being hidden by the growing crackling of the flames and the, uh, Familiar sounds of the water at the harbor and the noise of people and the speculations and the battle have been replaced by a bit more of an ominous crackle and pop of burning wood.

You are definitely trapped with the fire, a growing and potentially relentless wall between you and the rest of the dock area. So you only know now have this small section upon which. To to make things happen. Um, I'll also say that, uh, Bruce, you can see that your skiff is safe and on the section where you're at, you're, it's in a, it's a good escape route.

You're still solid in your original plan. And if anything's changing, um, but there is concern that the dock, if this picks up as quickly as it already has, uh, could collapse. And I think that both, uh, Kairos and Bruce, you are aware enough that that could happen, and also, this is the sea. The winds could shift, and right now the fire isn't threatening you directly.

But not only are you trapped, but it could create new problems soon. With all that said, Lady Angora, you ignore most of this. You can tell that there's a fire, there's smoke, but whatever. Let's bring some love to this jerk who's trying to Skin you alive with that context? Can I use my movement? Yeah. Um, I'm just gonna turn and like start walking towards my skiff, like the full 30 feet.

Yeah. You will provoke opportunity attacks. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So go ahead and let's please you. Tubes, you gotta do some damage here. Oh, natural. 20 and a 19. This is so much more exciting. Oh, dang. Uh, yeah, the, I'm guessing those hit. Uh, so you're going to take

five points of blunt damage and three points of blunt damage as they smack you with their little quarterstaffs. Ding! Dong! That's exactly what I asked. The ringing of the I'm gonna do as a reaction to that. Can I react to a reaction attack? Is that a thing? Do you have a reaction that allows you to react to an attack?

Yes. Oh, it's complicated. I just saw something. Oh, it's complicated, too. What, what, what is this, uh, reading to the viewers? I'll get some of your attention. I have Shield. An invisible barrier of magical force appears and protects you until the start of your next turn. You have plus five bonus to AC, including against the triggering attack, and you take no damage.

So, actually, both of those miss me, because I cast that spell and raised my AC to 24. You used your, your shield and yeah, you used that abjuration that you've got going on and it just No! I made a tank, literally. Like, like a Sherman tank. I should've named him Sherman. You should've! Yeah. But then you're an acronym for Sherman.

You enact your safety protocols and nothing gets through. You should've. Uh, Lady Angora, you've been transported on this walking tank 30 feet, so you are at a distance from your original goal, which does mean that you've moved beyond this new person, Kairos, who you shared what has recently happened with, and you healed, and it could be perceived that you're leaving them behind.

But I'll let you decide how you interpret that. Okay, as a free action, I just want to, be like, sorry, wait, where, where, where are we going? The dock is burning down, I'm going to my skiff. You have a boat? Right there. I turn, uh, as a, as a bonus action, because I technically have a free action to talk to him, and I'm going to whistle?

Uh, Just to get your attention, don't take it personally. You only look like an animal part of the time. When she does that I'm just gonna go, clink clink clink, dear puppy. And then just keep, laughing laughing Um, Uh, I am going to, uh, I'm going to go, uh, uh, and say, you all look like you could use a little levity and I'm going to cast sacred flame at, uh, whoever is closest to Kairos.

Can you describe what your sacred flame looks like and how this spells going off? Um, so it, it, It, it's not like, uh, It's kind of like a firework. Uh, it's like the kind of fireworks. The ones that don't actually make noise, or if they, if they do, it's a very like random pop at the end, but it's more about how they look going up.

So it's a very, very tight, quick spiral that makes, uh, noise and kind of, and then, uh, bing! at the end with a bright light. Um, bing! And which individual are you casting this on? Whoever's closest to Kairos. The person who went all to the puppy? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you cast this and they did not make the dexterity saving throw, I don't think.

What was the dex save? Thirteen. They did not make that. Close. It was an eleven. But they didn't make that dex save.

So they're gonna take a 1d8 of radiant damage? Yeah, it's only two points though. Aww. Well, luckily for this being, they are not of the undead variety, so they don't take double the radiant damage, but this is the person you were trying to rescue. Um, and as that blast hits them, they're blinded for a moment and they're distracted.

Um, anything else you're gonna do? No. Uh, nope, cause I, uh, I'm not gonna move, uh, and I used my free action and, uh, bonus action to whisk this off. So Kairos. You watch as this explosion of a firework appears in front of you, um, blinding for a moment the person who's attacking you, and they take a swing. Good God, why did I not I'm not going to roll for them anymore because they're about to be dead.

Um, I'm sure. Or they're going to be abandoned. I don't care what happens to them at this point. But this individual is blinded for the moment, they swing, and they toss their blade to the sea. As it slips out of their hands with a natural one. It did. Rough. Rip. Rough. Rough. Kairos, you, in your wolf form, have two individuals, a little crispy, but backed by flame, left behind by the large mechanical construct creature thing.

And one individual in front of you, disarmed. And two allies? Huge fat question mark. Uh, going towards a boat. A means of egress. What would you like to do? Um, I'm going to attack the one that's in front of me. With, uh, with a bite. Hopefully. Yeah, roll that attack. Let's see if that works. Yes! I'm still laughing about the here puppy part.

Oh, whatever. Good boy. Oh, that's so not going to hit. It's fine. Um, dang. Uh, that's a seven. All right. Uh, sorry. They were swinging their arms a little too wildly. Cause I couldn't see shit. You were like, because repositioned themselves and the speed with which this is going. You actually have advantage on this attack roll because your allies, if you are going to be willing to consider them allies, even temporary ones, are within five feet of you.

Oh, yeah. Oh, sick. Love that. Pact tactics. Pact tactics. All right. Not the greatest, but a little bit better. Um, eh, it's a 12. Yeah, 12 still misses, but. Yeah, yeah, it's fine. I'll take it. You go to do the bites. They kind of leap back a little bit, dodging the bite. They're sword in the water. They are disarmed.

Their face kind of. Oh, you're not a cute puppy.

Man, you know what? He got demoted from Rockstar direwolf to puppy real fast in the course of this battle, which is not exactly fair. Well, we did confirm you look like a giant Odette. That's pretty cute, just saying. And she does do a lot of air chomps, so.

All right, um, but in that, in that, in that, in that same vein, uh, I, if that's the case, then I will, uh, actually turn and start running towards my allies and run with them. Okay, and you have 50 feet of movement speed, so. You, in this form, and you spot the, uh, the skiff, and I guess you know what the target is.

Um If you steal my boat, I'm going to Firebolt you. So It's only fair for the here puppy comment. So, skidding down the docks ahead of the rest. Uh, you, you, you lead forward. That's a club on the steering wheel. And what I'm going to do really quickly here is just, uh, environment action. Because, uh, somebody set fire to the docks.

Who did that? You guys are so irresponsible. And multiple one shots. We would learn to not let Jason have fire spells. Oh, always let Jason have fire spells. Jason, have fire spells, and always give He has never not failed to burn one, like, at least one building down. The best. A dock is not a building, in my defense.

So the dock has so quickly ignited, and I'm just gonna talk right over y'all, a plume of thick black smoke that has burst from the heart of the dock is twisting and contorting, and it is a monstrous, inky serpent. You have woken an inherent spell in the dock, and it is turning itself back towards the rest of the people of the dock.

Blames the Hungry Orange against what now is an early twilight period in this space. Although it's hard to tell, because in Necromantia and the surrounding seas, the stars never shine, begin to You hear that crackling roar over everything else, and

you think you could swear that you see an undead smoke based leviathan of the sea rising from the docks right now. All true. Some unfinished spell finally released after who knows how long. It's like when you light, like, those, like, the fireworks where, like, the ash worm comes out. That's what I did. I lit the dock on fire and an ash leviathan came out.

Um, screaming the two individuals who were already a little crispy try to jump from the dock, not seeing a path of escape, and you just hear a small hiss as each leap. Tsss. Tsss. And the The last individual is looking back at the three of you, terror evident on their face, disarmed, and looks back at this monstrosity rising behind them.

Uh, Bruce, what would you like to do? You've been marching towards your skiff. I will continue to march towards it. Am I, how far away is it now? Uh, it's about 60 feet away or no, it's less than that. It's like 40 feet away. 30 feet. Alright, I will do a thing. I'm going to use my bonus action and click my heels together.

And uh, activate my boots of speed and then walk the rest of the way to my boat. Yeah, you board just ahead of this wolf that was slipping past you with a Lady Angora still upon you. Uh, and you've boarded your ship. Uh, you still have your action if you would like to Um, is everybody on now? Uh, the wolf isn't yet, but the ship does require a little bit of prep to launch.

Okay, I will hold my action to drive away when, uh, the wolf is on board. Alright, calm, that's kind. You're not gonna abandon a temporary ally. How cool. This must be like a D& D game. It's almost as if we're inclined to work together. Oh, what? People working together? Who the heck? Welcome to our one shot. I'm literally dying to talk.

Uh, I'll just finish up the rounds really quickly here before we kind of take a break and whatnot. But Lydia and Gora, what are you doing? Uh, I'm going to say to the, uh, robot. But what? Wait, we have to go back. Okay. For what? That, that thing is going to kill people. Most of those people are evil. I'm not concerned.

Yeah, but even just one innocent shouldn't have to die because you decided to cast a, a, a, a cone of fire. I cast a cone of fire because your friends attacked me. Yes, because I told the truth. This seems like someone else's problem. I'm just going to like, continue to go about like, get ready in the boat.

And I'm going to say, you're right. It's mine. And I'm going to jump off the boat and I'm going to head back towards

back towards the, the snake, whatever. What would you do with it? And I'm going to use my action to dash. Stupid paladin. Uh, great.

So as Naz, as you're coming back, you just see me go the other direction. Can I, can I, can I grab them as they walk back? Well, they use the action in their buttons. You're using your whatever you can movement wise to get back towards this situation, right? You're not doing anything from a distance? Yes, yes, yes.

Okay. Technically, would Naz get a reaction as she runs by? Maybe. I think it's fair to say you should get a reaction because you would normally get like, uh, as somebody leaves your combat space and enters and leaves it. And so let's just go with it. Cause I think it's funny. We'll see whatever it's going to be.

It's going to be contested. I'm guessing. I got you guys. I got you. I respect that. All right, cool. Thank you. Uh, I will, uh, I'm going to try to grab you. By like, I don't know, like the back of your collar or something like, or your shield that's on your back. It should be like, yeah, like the scruff, like your, your, yeah, yeah.

I'll grab you. Yes. So this dire wolf, so a non-lethal reaching to grab non-lethal, unfortunately to, because I don't know why you're running back that way. To corral the dyer wolf is, is hurting the rabbit at this point. Yes. Um, what is, uh, is it just an attack or is it, I I want you to roll it as a strength check.

Yep. And I want you, Larissa, to roll a dexterity based check, and I think it's going to be, well, you can either roll a saving throw, a dexterity saving throw, or you can roll an acrobatics check. But if you're rolling an acrobatics check, we've got to get fancy with it. A dex save is fine. Okay. Um. One second.

Um. Okay. Your strength versus that paladin's and you've got the strength of the wolf. Do you know what that is or do you need? I have the stat pulled up for me. Ruh roh raggy. He he he he he he he. This combination of uh oh. What'd you get? Giggles. Uh, wait what is it plus? Um, I got a 14. I got a 15. Oh wait, but wait, but wait, , what?

What, what? No, but wait, no, you No, but no butt weight. No, but wait. But to me, I have lucky footwork. Bullshit. So when you fail a deck saving throw, you can use your reaction to roll a D four and add it to the save, potentially train the failure into a success. Full shit. There's no way yet. . I bet you there's one.

I bet you. But it's a one. Doesn't matter if I mean it. I beat it. . No, it, no, it doesn't. This is gonna be a hot mess, I can't wait. This is not good. God damn it! So, you go in for the bite, to grab them by the shield, and just as you're about to toss them back to the ship, your teeth just seem to slide off, as this bunny feels like they're a less furry, fuzzy creature, and more like an eel escaping the net, and they slip past you.

It's so funny. Uh, God dammit, , why are you doing this? Stick . Stop that stick. I have to roll another environment thing really quickly. Here. Have to, have to, have to, um, as you go for this bite slide, miss whatever's happening. The docks behind you. Collapse. And that last individual who is standing there, not feet from Angora, goes down with it.

The smoke plume gets dragged down with the missing section of the docks. And you all watch as this Creation, this summoned smoke creature, is pulled beneath the waves, somehow anchored to the section of dock in which the spell was first created. But as that goes down, you know that there are undead beings below the waves.

That's where they live. That's where they work. And who knows what sort of damage may occur to the undead city of Necromantia. But the living, well you don't live down there?

As I'm at the steering wheel my head's just gonna turn all the way around Like click click click click click click click click and look at her in the water like would you still like a ride?

She's gonna look back at him and she's just gonna Kind of take the pendant. That's her earring and kind of like Rub it a little bit like a worry stone, kind of.

Are you using a divination spell? Um, I don't, I don't know if I have, I mean I have, like, channel divinity stuff, but I don't think, um.

While this is happening, I'm also going to just shake my head at this, this furry little creature up there. And, um, also just, like, confuse And start, walk and then we'll start walking back to the skiff. Well, you're in, you'd be in the water now or like hanging off the edge of the skiff. I think 'cause the dock collapsed.

Well, we're not, not all the docks just that section. Okay. No, I na. When he, when when Rurik said the docks behind you, they meant behind No. Was still facing you. I see. I gotcha. Yeah. So yeah. I'm gonna head back and board the skiff. 'cause I, my bad, I thought you guys were in the water. No, you're good. Yeah, we're just, we're just actually drowning right now.

Hey, I'm doggy dallying, though. Creepy undead hands grabbing your ankle. Legit. Is there, I mean, I don't usually play faith based characters, uh, so, can I just ask, like, is there, without having like a Without having a specific spell. Is there, yeah. Uh, you could, if you were willing to use your Divine Sense, one of your uses of Divine Sense, Okay.

Um, I will let you roll a religion check, and we can use that to see if you receive any signs. Okay. Okay. Let's do that. Um, I'm just going to rub my thumb in like small circles on the pendant and just say, I, do I focus on the living or I just, I just need, I need some guidance. Um, is it a 20 or a D20. Yeah.

Okay. Religion check. Right. Sorry. I wasn't sure if I was doing a D100. Religion. Okay. Ooh! 19! Nice. Okay. Man, this place has been very nice to me today. Earlier today, the light flickered as you almost made a decision that was not fully within the light. And then, now, here, as you hold your ear and you watch the glow, every time you, you rub, your ear moves slightly, glow grows brighter as it moves towards these two new individuals and dims as you accidentally move towards the city of Necromantia itself.

very much. It's a faint amount of guidance, but it is something.

Okay, um, Alright, that works for me. They seem nice? So, okay. Um, and I'm going As you say they seem nice, you hear in your head, which is very rare, but it's taken as a prayer in this moment, you hear, they're so dour. Fix it.

Okay. Not gonna make it easy. Gotcha. Alright. Challenge accepted . Um, and I, I head back, uh, to the boat. Uh, legally, legally split a reluctant but lickety, splitty rabbit, a dire wolf, and a robot. Sail off into the sunset and we'll end this episode. We are going to have the follow up to this. This is not a one shot, one shot.

It's a two shot, one shot, uh, but we're going to take a break and enjoy ourselves. So please, if you would love to love us in return for all of the wonderful things we love you for, because that's how this relationship works. As, as we float away into the sunset on my boat, I'm gonna hold up one hand. And I'm not doing this with the other hand, but inside you can hear the gears going Quick quick quick at the city as we as we float away

Please check out our shop on our website, probabilityoflice. com. You can check out our website, see what's going on in our world, and keep up with us. So, we'd love to have you there. Thank you for joining us on this one shot, and we'll have a wonderful day. Wonderful happy day

Bye okay Byeeeee

the dark and haunted shore Where the ghostly whispers soar? We serve our dreadlush Lord on death fleet with a curse of board

By the dark and haunted shore
Where the ghostly whispers soar
We serve our dread liche lord
Undead fleet with a curse aboard

Yo ho yo ho a minion's life for me
In the nights we roam
For the liche unfree
Yo ho yo ho under the moon's cold gleam
In the dark we row
In the shadow's dream

Bones that rattle in the hold
Eyes that gleam a tale untold
Our master’s magic bold
Commands in whispers cold

Yo ho yo ho a minion's life for me
In the nights we roam
For the liche unfree
Yo ho yo ho under the moon's cold gleam
In the dark we row
In the shadow's dream

In the fog we find our path
Guided by the liche's wrath
No stars to point the way
Still we sail both night and day

Yo ho yo ho a minion's life for me
In the nights we roam
For the liche unfree
Yo ho yo ho under the moon's cold gleam
In the dark we row
In the shadow's dream