Probability of Demise

Welcome adventurers to Probability of Demise, the podcast where critical fumbles meet critical facepalms. Join us as we delve into the darkest dungeons, slay the stupidest gremlins, and roll enough ones to make a beholder weep. Forget epic storylines and heroic deeds. Here we celebrate the chaotic beauty of bad rolls, questionable decisions, and characters with more charisma than sense.

We'll be your dungeon masters of disappointment, guiding you through campaigns where the only guaranteed treasure is a mountain of laughter, and maybe some psychic scarring. So grab your Nat 1 dice, strap on your anxiety helmets, and prepare to witness the glorious trainwreck that is our D& D journey.

Because, in the end, it's Even if your character dies face first into a pile of pudding, at least you'll have the Dice God's permission to laugh your ass off.

Welcome

to Probability of Demise and your favorite people in the whole wide world. Doggy. And Odette. Odette might be first so, but not a person, not everybody that's their form of being. At any rate, welcome. Thank you very much. I hope you like, subscribe, hit the bell icons or dingle bats and leave comments and feedback and provide us with um, un, Solicited, although this is a solicitation, but unsolicited, uh, happy kudos to your friends, like cheap wine.

All right. Thank you so much for joining us. And now for the most important part of the day, the word.

Gather around folks and friends and all of the in between. Today, I have brought the very large D100. And I have rolled on, da da da, 42. 42! 42. And this is a very big word for Jessica, so I must listen to it. You know, I'm gonna have to break it up in a few ways. Today's word of the day is inalienable.

The definition of said word is something considered, something's considered inalienable, is impossible to take away or give up. Used in a sentence, the bond between family members is often described as inalienable. Alright, that makes sense. Whose family are we talking about?

No family and all those things that go along with that, uh, you all have a inspiration for surviving the last session and not being dead. Thank God. You do. Well, I mean, I sort of died. I mean, I did die. Um, I think. Aloha, uh, is probably the one who, um, deserves the most inspiration for having to wait patiently for her friends to not die.

Uh, but anyway. And also saving all of us. You were the last one standing and saved everybody else. I'm the party. And by that, I really just mean Gus and Seraphina have been through a harrowing ordeal. Um, aloha. became a part of that ordeal a little bit later, but Gus was gravely injured, um, but saved through some mystical intervention and the favor of a goddess of death.

So if you know, also had some rough goes and such, uh, as well as just some general things to figure out and sort out. And Ulua has, uh, taken Gus using her connection with the, um, And the shared house that she has at in the hills, the nice little that she has up at the sincere house to do some rest and recovery for the two of them.

However, Seraphina has returned to her own residence where her father. Is upstairs, um, and has been left behind. And as we know, that house was under quite the bombardment. So she needs to get back home and figure out how things are there, um, and take care of a sick parent. So with Ulua and Gus at the Sincere House for some recovery and Seraphina seeking to get home.

What are you all up to? Mom, who wants to go first? Yeah, I think we ended with you screaming at your mom. I can explain from the top of your broom. Seraphina, do we want to play a few of them since you're screaming at your mom from your broom? Yeah, I guess so. So we arrive at the really alleyway that is the.

that goes in front of Jess's space. She's screaming down on the, the, uh, broomsticks, screaming, I can explain, I can explain, I can explain. Her mother has groceries in hand, and is looking at this mess that is the front of the, uh, home where they live. And I think I'm not gonna do the little sidebar that I was planning.

I think I'm just gonna let Jess figure out what to do now. Hehe. Uh, I'm gonna just do, you know, a very old school cartoon where like someone flies in on a broom and they like put their feet down. On the ground, like, trying to stop. She like, digs little trenches with her heels. Exactly. The cobbles kind of split away, and there's a little cobbled trench.

She's like a little wave.

And I just continue to yell, I can explain, I can explain, all the way till I get right next to my mom, and I just look at her like, Ah, don't hurt me. Uh, your mother,

You know, she's had a busy life. Three kids, two maybe surviving, one currently available to her. But she's had three kids. And she's pretty clear on when she's identified the source of the problem.

You can explain this and she just looks at the front of the house. Yes. Get explaining.

People attacked.

She doesn't blink for a second and then she just blinks Okay.

What, what, what do you mean? What did you do? What did, what did you do? Where's your father?

Hopefully, where I left him. Where did you leave your father? Hopefully not in a falling apart house. In the bed, upstairs.

It's about this time that you hear the sound that is usually associated with the approaching uh, services of the city.

I, like, step behind my mom.

Floating in on a series of materials wearing the badge of the city, the hazardous response team is arriving. Mages known for dealing with catastrophes, those usually responsible for stopping fires, and others who have even more specialized, uh, focuses, such as, um, containing hazardous magical accidents, are spilling onto your street.

And your neighbors who may have tucked themselves away. in the initial battle that occurred and stayed tucked while you were gone are now spilling out into the street. Um, lots of fingers are being pointed mostly towards you and then back towards the house.

I just try to shrink smaller behind my mom.

Um, I need you to roll a dexterity saving throw as your mother is going to be racing into the house to find her husband. I thought you're gonna say as your mother physically throws you under the bus. Oh, not good. Eight. You're taken off guard. She rushes nine, nine. You're taken off guard as she rushes into the home.

just bypassing those people who would prevent her entering a clearly dangerous structure. And you are left standing at the entrance to your home, or what was the entrance to your home, as these people have all converged there. Is there still a door? No. It's worse than when you left it. Looking around, roll a perception check.

Okay. I wanted to go inside. I just shut the door.

Dang it! This one's going into jail. Okay. Um, what am I doing? I'm doing a You're doing a Something with a P. How much is my mom going to beat me for this later check? Uh Oh, I get advantage. No. What am I rolling? Perception. Perception. Yeah. I get advantage. Okay. Still terrible. I forgot this one's in jail. Uh, 10.

Um, you didn't quite make it out as you were approaching it. You weren't paying attention. Your mother was the soul of your focus. And even now, you're, you're not quite seeing it. So yes, you do. You go up to reach for a doorknob that is not there. And that's when you realize that the, the, the wall. Has totally collapsed and you can see holes in the ceiling above the structural integrity of your childhood home has been compromised by the damage that was done and it has fallen apart.

And it is continuing to do so. I jump on my broom and go get my dad. Uh, okay, you go to jump on your broomstick. There is a group of people who are tasked with dealing with misuse of magic around you. You need to make some sort of I mean, jumping on the broomstick is eliciting an immediate reaction of restraint spells being flung your way.

So I need you to make some magic saving throws. But, but dad, okay, this is a magic saving throw. So, um, your, your, uh, saving throws are usually intelligence based, and I think we should just think about that rather than what they're doing, because they're throwing a bunch of them all at you all at the same time.

Um, but I would love for you to just roll your, um, yeah, just roll your intelligence

magic modifier thingy mo bob, I can't remember what it is, the boss, whatever you have. Okay. Um, the DC on this is fairly high. These are Inspiration. Um. Yeah, you have it. It was my inspiration. What is that? You're going to use that? Good. Yeah. Is that a re roll? That is a DM inspiration that she has a re roll.

Yeah. Yeah. Good. Now I'm going to jail too.

She's out of D20s. No, she's not. She has players. There we go. Yeah. Okay. Much better. Um.

A dirty 20. Okay, you go to hop up on the broomstick and you can feel the pull of at least three different spells set to restrain you. You see, um, whips of vines come up to try to grab you and hold you still, but you happen to just spot a passageway. And you zoom into your home. , are you immediately trying to be upstairs and through one of the holes that have formed in the ground, or are you going towards the staircase that you would've normally used to get up to the second floor?

Like how are you trying to get there? Uh, whatever would be the fastest. So if there's a hole that would lead to his room, then that, if not just the stairs. Yeah. So almost sitting straight up after coming through the threshold where the door used to be, you zip up and as you zip up, I would love for you to roll a perception check.

And

you'll have disadvantage on this because there's too much for you to have advantage on this one. Dang it. That was way better. So then the first roll plus 12. Um, you don't hear it at first. You see it at first. Your dad, lying in his bed, seems to be covered in a green shimmer. Can I fly over to my dad and touch him?

Wait, actually no, because I don't, I can't do that because I haven't rested. Um, what's my mom doing? Your mom is still downstairs. Is she up there yet? She is. Oh, okay. This is like a kind of fun little race here going on. She's going to use the regular stairs because she can't fly. Okay, I'd like to

But you said you went up and touched him. Well, I take it back because I was going to touch him to I mean, I'm still going to touch him. I was going to touch him and do a spell, but now I'm not going to do that because I don't actually have a spell. So I'm just going to go over and grab him, try to pick him up.

So I'm still touching him, but Yeah, you go up and you touch him, you, if you're grabbing him, okay, either way, the moment your skin makes contact with this green, uh, shimmer that is around him, you take one point of acid damage, and you hear a

I don't like that noise.

Are you trying to still hold him or do you jerk back after the Um, yeah, I'll, I'll jerk back. As you jerk back, you, you get out of there quickly. Um, go ahead and, what, you, you see this green shimmer still around him, you can feel that it hurts you, but he seems to be intact within it. What are you doing? Uh,

I'm waiting for my mom,

that's what I'm doing. You are stopping to wait for your mom to get up there, and you hear outside. orders that sound like individuals are being tasked with chasing you down.

That's fine. I've turned into like, that like little, like a little kid who's just worried about their parent. And they're like, I'm not supposed to know, like, I can't, I'm just a kid. I can't help my parent. The parent's supposed to help me. And I just am like, in that state of, I'm just a kid who's killed like seven people this week.

Yeah, I might be in my early 20s, but like, I'm still a kid compared to him. You know, he's an old man. All right. Um, this sounds like a fun spot to switch back over to Ulua and Gus.

Ulua, Gus, you're in Ulua's abode. Um, the sincere house.

Uh, it's sunlight streaming through the windows. Little dust motes illuminated in the air. Ulua, you're bustling about, continuing to help take care of like, Just general recovery for both of you, but you've had a few moments here to kind of get in the zone. Um, maybe some steaming mugs in both of your hands.

Oh, definitely like a, like a tea situation. Great. Uh, as in like the meal and

So you got like a, a nice cup of tea. Some cucumber sandwiches. Tea and crumpets.

Some sort of baked pastry for sure. Um,

yeah, I would just be kind of literally tending to our wounds with a combination of regular medicine and, um,

magical. I mean, I don't, I don't think I have any, I don't have any spell slots left. Don't worry about my wounds. I've just only had thyme syrup. Yeah. Uh, whatever comes to hand, you, you would have tended to your wounds to get to where you are. I think Gus is basically like, just meditating. So maybe as he's doing that also, like as his hit diets are paying, he's like, maybe his wounds are just like, closing.

But, um, also I'm regaining my spell slots because I'm short of resting. So. I must be now. Relying on that. Yeah, look at that. You have way more spell slots than me, so. Good thing too! Rewinding that connection to a patron that you don't know is even there. Is that one thing that I have? Uh, oh. That's not worth it.

Um, I was looking at Song of Rest, but you already were getting in points, so. Um, let's see. Um, well, um,

I don't remember, did we say We were going to meet here or at hers? Uh, her house is very damaged. We should probably go there. She probably needs our help. Okay. Um,

trying to think, uh, she may not mind. Give me one moment and I'm going to, uh, go to Oksana's room and knock on the door and see if she's there. It's really nice, but You knock on the door, there is no answer.

Oksana! Madam!

I do a secret little knock that we have for when we're attending to our side business. Just so that if she is in there or something, she knows that it's not, it's, I'm not, that it's kind of urgent. Yeah. Still no answer. Okay. She still doesn't answer. Um, ask forgiveness, ask forgiveness. I'm going to, uh, turn the doorknob and

creak open the door and see if her magic carpet is there. Um, you go, you creak open the door and you know where the carpet, she keeps her, her transportation. Um, it's not there. Um, and it's clear from the other things that are missing in this space at a quick glance without, like, looking looking, she's taken some of her things for a quick trip.

All right. Uh, plan something else. Okay. And I just back out and Plan something else! There's no plan B! It's just gotta be something else! I'm gonna go back down to Gus and I'll be like, I got nothing. I was checking to see if we could borrow a carpet, but the only one in the house is not here. Have we had our short rest now?

Or are we just sitting here for an hour? Um, I'm feeling better if you'd like to just walk over there. Or? I guess. I would have us a car, but. I think all of my money went to the priests.

Yeah. And, and most of mine too, but you had way more than me. No, it's fine. No, it literally, it was like, I had like 18 gold on me. So ironically, I don't actually tend to have a lot of cash on me. Um, considered bad, bad taste in my line of work. Um, or at least. cheap for some reason. Makes no sense. But anyways, um, all right.

Well, I guess, yeah, we, we can head out. Um, but I guess maybe we'll try to take a somewhat brisk pace. So public transit or walking, but the two of you are making your way, which is faster based on whichever way is faster. Yeah. Public transit. Okay. Yeah. Cartbolds it is. Cartbolds you go as you head into the cartbold realm, uh, catch a glimpse of a familiar looking tattoo as a young person scurries up the path to where you just left.

Ooh.

Uh, back to you, Seraphina. Paralyzed, with parental, uh, trying to. Put off decision making to the parental unit, you are unable to stop several things that happen. One, your mother is stopped in her headlong charge to, to the upstairs by one of the, um, individuals down below. And you can hear her squawk of indignation as she is stopped and she says, but I need my husband.

And, and. You are also unable to stop or halt, um, what you can tell through your senses as a, as a being that uses magic. That some sort of barrier is being put into place around your home.

Can I look?

Close. The shimmering barrier.

Still covers your father.

As you stand in indecision, you take one more point of acid damage, but it's from your foot. My foot. Can I look down and see why my foot hurt? You see that green shimmering barrier is reaching out pseudopod like towards you. And now has your foot in its Glasp. I can't do anything. You hero. Oh, no spells.

Take two more points of damage as it climbs up your leg. Oh my god, I mean, I, I have to go back. I'm gonna die again. Are you trying to get free? Yeah. Uh, so, strength check. This could be athleticism versus this being.

Oh wait, I do have spell slots left, because we leveled.

Well, I didn't take anything that would give me more spell slots.

Straight. There it is. Okay. Nineteen. Nineteen. You pull free of the thing that's clumbed onto you. And as you extract yourself, you see it retreat back around your father. And as it retreats Are you sure you don't have a level three spell slot? No. From leveling? No, because I took it in my other class.

So I didn't You put the multi class in.

Um. You have things beyond spells. Spells are a limit you need to let go of. What can you do? I just go, mommy!

I don't know what to do. Um. Roll a perception check after you say mommy. Okay. Damn it.

Ten. Um. You feel, it's like a strange echo, like You your voice didn't really exit the area that you're within whatever spell they've cast has Maybe stabilized the house, but it's also contained you within it and what you've said has not penetrated that barrier Is are any of those people inside like people with a 10?

You'd have to actually move around and go do something to find out. I just look at my mom in this room Your mom's not there. Oh, she's not there yet. I thought she was she was downstairs. She's still coming up You You heard me right. Thing. my husband, and then that spell was cast and you couldn't hear anything after that.

Oh my god.

I'm gonna just,

so it's just a sh I'd

take a dagger and stab it. I don't, I don't know. I have no idea what to do. You take the dagger and you go ahead to stab it. Go ahead and roll the attack. Oh my god, oh my god.

Ten. You see the barrier shimmer, this green thing that keeps eating away at you, shimmer. It engulfs your dagger and holds it at bay,

but it does not let go of it. And you can tell that it's become a little bit more crystalline and a little bit more solid as it's holding your dagger in place.

Roll a perception check as you're closer to your father right now.

13. You can see looking in, like as, as you had touched it, it hurt. You receive this damage from the acidity of this creature. And it's very much a creature. But as you look within, it hurts. Your father isn't taking any damage. He's not being eaten by this acid. What would

you like to do?

I mean, I guess, nothing. I mean, if he's not getting hurt, then there's no reason to not wait until something or someone comes up.

He's not getting hurt and if it keeps hurting me, I'm gonna die. Are you relaxing your grip on the dagger at all, or are you, what are you doing? Because you can't seem to pull it out right now. Yeah, I just let go of the dagger and I sit down next to the bed. Like criss cross as you sit down next to the bed.

You hear the as Whatever this thing is begins to approach you again, but now it's coming from above from on the bed and If you would like to have any reaction whatsoever, you need to say it now

or are you despondent at this point?

Oh, I might just get in the bed and lay next to him because if he's in there not getting hurt But maybe I won't get hurt if it fully engulfs me And that is the name of the move that happens, engulf. You are engulfed in this material, and for a moment, you can't breathe, and then you feel two centers around your nostrils open up and you can breathe.

And you're encased in this gelatinous material.

Can you roll a Charisma Saving Throw?

It's not a D20.

21.

You feel like thoughts trying to sneak their way into your head. Um, they're a little incoherent, but you hear, Friends? Friends?

I just think. Sure, as long as you don't hurt me. You almost feel a sigh as the material around you seems to squeeze you gently,

and you feel a soothing sensation around your body. Um, you regain three hit points. Oh, snap. I'm just going to go. Thank you.

All right. Um, since you're in there and you, time seems to move and you're not sure how much time is moving along, I'm going to jump back over to Ulua and Gus. Okay? Uh, Ulua and Gus, you come out the other end of the cart pulled, um, Pat trip pathway, uh, in the commons. near enough to Seraphina's home. Um, as you make your way in that direction, uh, coming around the corner, you can see the damage is much more extensive, Gus, than you remembered it.

Of course, during part of that, you weren't exactly fully functional, so it could have happened and you just weren't aware of it. But you can see that there are several people outside, um, Attempting to, to shore up the building and protecting other buildings. There's lots of neighbors around, which, you know, they had all scattered before, but you see them out again.

Um, you have an opportunity here to decide if you're going to try to go incognito, because you fairly certain that they recognize, would, would recognize you if you walked up at this point. Um, from before, um, you were kind of in the middle of the show. Uh, Or to just walk up as you are. Um, you can see a woman, an older woman who looks somewhat like Seraphina.

Um, she has the horns, but she doesn't exactly have the same tone of, of, of skin, but she has some other features that if you imagine Seraphina without her goggles on and such, she might look similar to this tiefling that's outside. Um, who is being, um, consoled. By a couple of, of the magical response team, um, and you can see that there is a, a purple shimmer as some mages have cast some spells up on the building.

Do I know anyone from the response team? Um, let's just roll a fun randomness check. Uh, why don't you roll a two to twelve. Laugh.

Random do I know someone check. I was thinking like, like a police might know EMT, you know, like old city guard, homicide detective might know. And I, in my brain, I'm having that moment of like, how long do people last in this profession before they're just done with it? Seven and a three. Okay. Uh, you don't know anyone directly, but you recognize the look of an individual.

They're young. They remind you of a former colleague. Uh, they could be their kid. Time does move on for all of us.

You think their parents name was Frank, but it's a little fuzzy.

I'm just gonna walk over and be like, Hey there, uh, How is old Frank these days? Huh? Uh, Who do you mean, Frank? Uh, Your Father? Uncle? Brother? Cousin? Yeah. That's right. Uh, who are you? Uh, you look like, uh, someone I used to know. That I used to work with. My apologies if I'm mistaken. My grandfather's name was Frank.

That would make sense, I'm very old. I'm very old. So I guess old Frank is not doing so well these days. Uh, well, I mean, I met him when I was like ten. Um. So you see his grandfather, like what? I actually, that's more than I've seen mine. . Well, he was a good man. I mean, he died like 12 years ago. He, he was a good man, probably.

I don't, I I didn't know him that well. He just, he just looked like him. Yeah. I, I mean, I, I, I wanted to do proud and, and I thought I'd do the same thing, but.

How old are you? Very old. What did you know? I was, I was with the, with the watch for over a century. If that gives you a estimate, you can see him like hold up a hand and start trying to count. You're going to need more fingers, kid. Yeah. I, I. I'm not great at math. Um, well, you need to stay away. Most of my friends aren't.

I just, I just, just stand back. I don't want you to, to get hurt. Um, Actually, um, this is my, my friend's house. I was, Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that. Um, I mean, she's, she's right over there. You can go see her and, and, Um, but apparently some attack occurred. Uh, we've got a mixed story coming out. Um, but, uh, Well, he was here.

I was here. Um, I was knocking on the front door when the house was attacked.

His expression changes

and you can see that hardening of the eyes that occurs when a gift of gab

There is no save, it just happens. That's not fair. I don't like the spell anymore. When you cast the spell, you skillfully reshape the memories of listeners in your immediate area so that each creature of your choice within five feet of you forgets everything you said within the last six seconds. Okay.

Those creatures you remember. How do you reshape this memory for this person then? Um, I just, uh, I turn to him and say, well, were there any witnesses? Uh. I just look at her and look back. You're affected too. So you don't remember that I said that either. Oh, okay. You don't remember that? No, he would, well, you cast on him that you, so I need you to actually tell me what you've reshaped their memories to be of what just happened.

Not just like saying, were there any witnesses, but like you. So. He forget, like, I, I don't say, I don't say, well, he was there. Okay. So say that you create a new memory and replace it. It just says you forget the last six seconds. No. When you cast a spell, you skillfully reshape the memories of listeners in your immediate area.

So she's so that each creature of your choice within five feet of you forgets everything you said within the last six seconds. But like, what did you put in there? Is, is like a conversation of. Oh, were there any witnesses? That's what you've put in place? Yeah. So, so to Gus's mind, I don't indicate that he was there.

And to this person's mind, I don't indicate that, that Gus was involved. You did the verbal fix it, which we all wish we had. White out. I gotta get me one of those. How did Asher not have this spell? Uh, so Well, uh, we have we're trying to get a description. One of the neighbors is working with a sketch artist.

There were a couple of people here. Um, 1, we think is the daughter who's trapped in the building. And, uh, another was that's our friend. Uh, it was 1 of the smaller members of the city. Uh, not sure if it was halfling, a gnome. Give a little bit of side eye towards Gus, but then shakes his head. Probably definitely a halfling.

Yeah, yeah, and, and. Troublesome lot. Um, would it be possible for us to go in and try to help our friend? Well, she's right there. And he points again to the mother. Oh, her, her daughter. You said she's trapped inside. That's our friend. Oh, our people are on this. Please, please stand back. We want to keep everybody safe here.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Her father is also inside and he's very ill. So our people are on it. We're trained professionals.

Is there like a window or anything up there? Um, uh, I'm going to cast sleep at the third level

on him, on him. Okay. Just checking.

When did you get all your spell slots? Or is this all your third level? Yeah. Um. 5d8. Hold on.

Additional 2d8 for each spell slot above first. Oh, I don't have that. I don't have this many d8s! Uh. Nine d8s? Yeah. Okay. Um. I'm assuming this guy is a commoner. Do we really need to roll? No. No, no, no. He's part of the magical team. Vocal, somatic, and material. So you're saying something to cast this. Yes. And you're making a move.

Yep. And I'm just gonna say, Hush now, we'll take care of it. Um, and I just kind of, in terms of like a, somatic, I'm just gonna, or uh, Somatic? Somatic. Um, I'm just gonna kind of like, Somatic. almost like the kind of, but like, just like over his face, kind of like a, okay, roll the hit dice for that. Um, I also want you to tell me, are you trying to not let the other people that are part of this emergency squad?

So you do this to one of their own? Yeah, I, yeah. I mean, I would like to, I would like you to also roll a slide of light of hand. Okay. Okay. Um, to see if that's even possible in this space. Ooh, nine, that's up, we're up to 20,

uh, that's 28,

33, and two more,

45, and I don't know, hang on, let me see if there's a, there's nothing additional to it, yeah, 45. You see them waver on their feet,

and you can feel the edge of the spell. Almost pushed. They had 42 hit points. Okay. Um, and then her side of hand to see if others note. Ooh, 22.

You think that nobody has noticed at least none of the people that are involved in the emergency itself. I'm going to like try to Uh, is there like somewhere I can kind of like set him down just so where it looks like he's sitting or like, I mean, it's a street. Is there like a, but like rubble or anything nearby?

Sure. Go ahead and roll a perception check. We'll see if you find a likely looking spot. Um, Can I go, um, maybe we should try to get the others to help him as a distraction. Okay. Um, all right. Help! Excuse us, your friend here has fallen unconscious in the most unexpected way. You see two of them turn. One of them is maintaining some sort of spell that requires their concentration, and they wave the other over.

A young woman comes. Oh, oh, oh, wow. Here, you stay here. I'm gonna go see if your partner needs help. No, no, no, no, no, no. We have scene control. You need to well, he was supposed to be part of scene control, but Clearly he fainted. Uh, novice. Uh, so, uh, d dunno, we need everybody to stay back. Hubbook needs to stay back during this, this emergency.

Um, let me handle him, and she kind of turns away a little bit. Oh, it's quite alright. I was, I was with the city watch for many years. I can help you. As he does that, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep walking. As he's engaging her in conversation, I'm going to I want you to go ahead and just roll a stealth check to make sure you're not caught out.

It's not like you're hiding stealth, it's just like, you slip around. Dirty 20! Um, and Gus, could you roll a persuasion check? Okay, I'm just going on, like I was with the, with the emergency management team for several years in my youth and. Blah blah blah 16. That's really good. Uh, yeah, with the 16, you, um, you seem to get her engaging in conversation with you.

Like, oh, yeah, yeah. Well, back in your day, like how long ago, when you say youth, like that didn't What was Christopher on then? Or was that before Lambda's time? Or who, who is the, the, the fifth generation before Christopher? I, I'm just, I need a name. Jamie. Oh, no, I was, uh, uh, Jamie was in charge back then.

And, uh, the founder. Yes. Wow. I mean, know actually helped to write the manual. I just actually, but they, they were like, they were pivotal to setting up this whole program right after the pumpkin fire. Oh, yes, yes. The famous pumpkin fire. Yeah. Yeah. The timeless trio. Uh, were were involved in that whole thing and they, they, that's what rebuilt this section of the city.

Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Yes. I was hilarious. Wait, how long ago was that? It 000 years, wasn't it? 500 years, no. Oh, 500? Oh. I thought it was like 2, 000 years. So, so even I was not there. I'm just making shit up at this point. It's like 200 years ago or something. I don't know. Some, some ridiculously long time ago. Uh. Oh yeah, she was, he was very old by the time I, uh, I came on, so we overlapped a little bit in the intro.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, you don't look that old. Oh, Spring Chicken is just totally engaged. Now she's flirting with you a little bit. Well, thank you. I, uh, try to keep up, work out, and, you know, uh. Hashtag chirping. So Lula, you slip undisturbed towards the building. Um, where are you headed? I don't know. Uh, and in, depending on, uh, You can visibly see, and if you want to get more information you'll have to roll for it, but you can visibly see there's like a shimmering barrier around it.

It looks like there's a, magic is being used to hold it static so that it doesn't fall further. Okay. Uh, do I go past, uh, Seraphina's mom? If you want to, if you want to walk in that direction, that would be like I mean, if she's, if she's on the way to like the entrance, then, uh, as, as So go, why don't you roll a perception check and then I can give you some options, because right now I feel like I'm not giving you enough or I give you too much.

I mislead you. 15. So I think you can make out that there's Lots of different ways to get up to the building, um, one that would not be going near Seraphina's mom, um, but going behind some of the looky loos that are there, um, being, being kind of like ushered back by individuals who are highly engaged in the process of scene control, um, that, that, that's not near Seraphina's mom, but it may offer a easy egress into the building without being spotted.

Uh, should you go in the direction of Seraphina's mom, uh, there's just more people at work in that area, and right up at the house. That's where the majority of the magical, uh, efforts are being expended right now. Okay, yeah, I guess I'll stay surreptitious then. Okay, so if you're going to stay surreptitious and then you're going to go through, try to get into the building without anyone seeing you, um, go ahead and re roll that stealth check and now we'll use it as the sneaky sneak mode.

Okay. So, uh, when you, uh, When you started, did they still have the uniform requirement? Because we don't have the uniform requirement anymore, we just have to have the badge. Uh, no, we didn't have a lot of funding back then, so there was no uniform at all. So you had to wear the short shorts. Were the short shorts like Never mind, that's rude, I shouldn't say that to you.

17. I mean, there were longer shorts on me, if I'm being honest. Oh, that's what I was gonna say, but then I felt like I was being rude, but you don't seem like you think that's rude. Although you would probably look good in some short, short shorts.

Totally flirting with you. My goodness! If you, if you say so. Um, you're like getting all flustered now. Ulua, what are you up to? What was your number? Um, it was a 17. Okay, with a 17, especially with how busy they are and the terrible, terrible role I did for the one person who had a passive perception that might have caught you, um, you are able to get inside the building.

Um, there's a lot of ways to get in it. You're surprised it's even standing. It's a good thing that magic energy is being expended to hold the building static right now. Um, you can see a staircase and several holes in the level to the next, to the second floor. Okay, I'm just going to do a quick peek around, uh, to see, uh, so just explain to me the kind of damage.

Is it like fire damage or like explosive damage? Basically want to figure out how to tell if someone's been there, like to look for tracks, whether it's an ash or investigation check, investigation, uh, do not like me. Um, that is a whole five. Yeah, your Dragon Dice never rolled out for me. It's a mass of damage.

Uh, you got a little bit of an update, I'm guessing, from Gus on the, on the cart pulled right over of, like, what had transpired. Some of it seems to not be related to that. Like, there's something that's happened. After Gus and Seraphina left. But you're not sure what. And I can, I clearly can't see anyone on the first level.

No. Okay, then I'm gonna head up. You can see people at the first level, but they're all outside casting spells. Nobody is within. It's clear that they view it as a dangerous place to be within. Okay, I'm gonna go up to the second level then, go up the stairs. Yeah. As you go to the second level, you can see some drag marks where, um, someone was dragged out of, uh, the, the building.

Um, they look like the, the drag marks. Suspiciously sized to look like the woman that's being consoled outside and held back from going in. Um, that you presume to be Seraphina's mother, uh, but as you go up the stairs, you can see a whole wall has been pulled away, or ripped away, um, desiccated, uh, or otherwise just falling apart, and you can see that there is a bed, and on the bed, two figures are reclined.

And there's a greenish haze over them. Okay. Um,

uh, do I have to be able to see someone for message or just, do they have to be within range?

You point messages over you. It says, it says on it. If you. You can cast a spell through solid objects if you are familiar with the target and know it is beyond the barrier. Okay, Okay, okay. You just have to point your finger at them. Okay. In thy general direction. Um, So I see Seraphina, uh, and her dad in, in the, the You can see two figures reclined Okay.

Um, reclined? Yes, they're lying upon something. Could be a bed. Okay. Sorry. In my mind, that was like Rick Lightner, like, sitting. Might be pillows. Yeah. Propped up a little bit. Like a husband. Not like a, like a, a person husband, but like a pillow husband. Hospice care. It's in home hospice care. You know, it can't always be completely, you know.

All right. Uh, I, at that point, since I, I don't know who it is in there, I'm going to, uh, slowly approach and see if I can figure out what's going on. Yeah. What are you, what are you doing as you're trying to figure out what, in what way are you trying to figure out what's going on? Um, just to Are you just looking around?

Are you, like, what are you Um, I mean, I'm, I'm trying to see who's in the thing. Um, Okay. Uh, so getting close enough to finally see within, uh, you make out the, the face of an older man, uh, past prime, but now even past that, uh, definitely plagued by illness of some sort. Um, muscles atrophied and, um, kind of, uh, the lines of pain have replaced lines of laughter.

And next to this individual, you see Seraphina, her eyes open, her mouth open, and you can see that there's this invasion of this green stuff around both of them, and you hear a pfft.

Would I have any way of knowing what this is? What a wonderful question. Why don't you roll a history check?

Look, I was stressed out, okay? My house is falling down. My mom's mad at me. My dad's a goo. Eighteen. You're rolling nicely and you're rolling nicely. You're aware of a lot of different types of creatures and and whatnot. But like, this is a common question. style, at least, of creature. It's an ooze and there's fancy oozes.

There's the, the green slimes, there's black oozes. There's the ever famous, um, gelatinous cube. And you know that this is in that family. You don't know specifically what type of ooze this is. Um, but based on the color and the general storyline around these various oozes, you can assume that it has some sort of acidic component to it.

Um,

there's, can I have you roll a Charisma Saving Throw? Sure. Are you going to continue to be nice or no? Give in to the dark side.

A Charisma Saving Throw. That is a 12. With a 12, you fail the check. And there is something about this ooze that you find adorable. And ooze should not be adorable, but looking at it, you kind of fall in love a little bit. It's so squishy, I'm gonna die. You might. Um, okay. At that point, I am going to do what I was originally going to do, uh, and point my finger in Gus's direction and, uh, use message, which I don't think has a word limit, right?

Mm hmm. Um, and say, you have to come check this out. Jess and her dad are wrapped in like this so cute, or sorry, Seraphina, sorry. And her dad are in this dress. Super cute. Like squishy ooze. And I've, I mean, I've, I've never, I know what oozes are, but I've never actually seen one before. And it's so cute. You have to come see this.

You hear this message and there's a hand on your chest. Well, if you ever want to have coffee sometime, I can catch you up on our current procedures. How old is this guy? Way too young for him. My, um, friend is up there. Uh, she appears to be stuck. Since I'm familiar with emergency management and such, do you think I could just go up and see if I can help her out?

Well, I shouldn't let you, but if you take my card, roll a persuasion check. So unprofessional!

Gee, I wonder why the city watch is just so corrupt. Son of a bitch. So bad. These are my inspirations. So much fun. What's the inspirations, a re roll? Yes. Okay. All right. So we're going to say, do I still need a reason? Yeah, it just will be colored based on how well you roll. Is the inspiration going to help?

There we go. That is a dirty 20. So if you take my card,

maybe I'll look the other way for a moment, cutie, and she flicks your nose. Alright. Much appreciated. I'll remember this. Uh, I'm just gonna like, run away. As you couldn't like, scurry away, you, you hear, uh, What a fox. As I like, pass into the house, I'm like, yeah, I still got it. And then just like, up the stairs.

You hear, background to all of you at this point, you hear someone go, Did you just let somebody in there? Another individual. And then you hear the voice that you're more familiar with say, No, no, you must have seen just a ancient rat crawling up. Weird, alright. What is going on? Okay, you come up to the top of the stairwell.

As I'm going up the stairs, I'm going to mage armor myself, because I can do that at will now. Okay, good deal. And then, um, I will also detect magic, which I can also do at will. Uh, as you cast Detect Magic, you can see that there is magic All over the place from everybody casting spells, this house has magical artifacts all over the place.

But I'm guessing you're looking specifically at this gelatinous mass that's currently covering two of your friends. While the other friend, or two, one of your friends, while your other friend has big heart eyes. And you can see that part of this gelatinous stuff is like starting to ooze towards her foot and up onto her body.

Um. You can see, uh, holy magic is being cast very, very slowly. Can I just, only because Ulua is somewhat vain, not fully vain. She's less vain than a lot of her, uh, sisters in, in, uh, uh, Sisters of employ. Um, but she has very nice boots on that. She would not want ruined. And I feel like it would be like, Oh no, you can't have those.

No, those are mine. If I did notice whether it was, I'm happy to roll this, whether or not I say. You can't have those, those boots are mine. The little questing, uh, pseudopod goes up higher and tries to wrap around your leg instead.

Oh, it's polite!

I would be like, uh, please get away from that. I'm just going to roll like, uh, like a, uh, a 10 or below. I let it wrap up, wrap around my leg. I stick out, like I pull up my, my skirt and stick out my leg. Uh, and, uh, 11 and up, I don't. I would like to cast flint. Oh, that's a six! You are now in jail. It wraps around your leg and you can just feel it very quickly starting to cover you.

Um, you do take one point of acid damage. It's damage, but because you are charmed by it, that is immediately replaced by three point hit points coming your way, but your body is now covered in ooze. What were you doing, Gus? As you were seeing this? So plus two. Um. Which actually brought me back up to max health.

I wasn't at max health, now I am. Um. Did you make friends with an ooze? Can I still talk, or am I covered? Uh, you, you can't hear him. Oh. Can I, like, can I see him and still interact with him, though? Yes, you can see him. Oh, wait, is she also engulfed? But I can't hear him. Yeah, she is engulfed now. She just got the engulf.

And I just kind of slowly go I'm just gonna, like, point my finger at her. Like, why are you all engulfed inside of an ooze?

It's message, you can hear me. Oh, sorry. I mean I whistle, or I whistle whisper, but I don't know if sound will come out. So can I technically reply? Yeah, this is a spell. Your whisper be is, becomes a mental message. I wasn't sure if there were bubbles. , what is going on? Stop . That is officially now how you speak while in case and ze

Seraphina, you hear the whisper. You don't hear the magical message that it is sent version of the whisper, but you do hear Ulua's

so wait, what did you say? I said, why are you all engulfed inside of an ooze? It's friendly. It's it, it, it, uh, I mean, I feel better than I did a second ago. I mean, I already felt pretty good, but, um, Although it does have a little bit of a sting to begin with. Um, but yeah, it seems perfectly friendly and kind and, and, um, they don't seem to be in any trouble either.

Come on in, the water's fine. You can share this side of the conversation, Lua's side of the conversation. I'm um, I'd like to look around real quick and just see if the damage to the house was caused by this ooze. Because I don't think that we left the house in this condition. Please be more successful than others.

Excuse me? Who said the DC? That is a 21. Oh. The investigator has arrived.

Uh, You piece together the puzzle quite quickly in your

brilliant mind moment. As you look around, you know, what it looked like before you were hit in the most painful way possible, uh, from the outside, but you hadn't been inside. And inside here, you can see that there was damage here. That does not relate to the type of damage that was happening. There were bolts, there was explosions.

Things were happening, but like windows were being broken open, not the extensive damage that you see here. And what you quickly realize is that somebody had to have come after, like immediately after you and Seraphina had left. The cult that sent the original assassins must have sent more that hadn't arrived by the time you Uh, subverted the first assault.

Subverted with my dead body. And they, uh, and they used some type of ice or water magic that became ice to destroy much of the front of the building and to make their way in. And in the process you can make out there's this, this beautiful urn that got cracked open.

And as you note the urn, especially with that 21 you said, you make out the acid etching on the floor of two skeletons.

Wait, sorry, what? You make out an acid etching of two skeletons. Like it drew and burned into the floor? Two, a drawing of two skeletons? Okay. Um. You can see a clear pathway from where those two skeletons are to where Seraphina and her father, and now Ulua, are engulfed.

Okay, so, as you know, two skeletons on the floor. What do I think that means? Um, so it looks like, oh, there's a broken urn. Is there another urn that is not broken? urn. This urn was broken. Okay. Okay. Is there a second urn that is not broken? No. Beneath the urn are these two acid etchings of skeletons. It looks like comic noir.

It looks like two skeletons have been cartoonized into the wooden floor. Uh, and just like you can see where Bone was. Um, and there's a clear pathway, clear of ice and dust that leads to, from that urn to Seraphina and her dad, as well as Nalula.

Look, Doug, is it, I don't understand, I'm trying to figure, did the ice and magic like reanimate the cremated body in the urn into an ooze? I'm confused. Um, do you want to look at the urn more closely? Sure. Okay. If you go closer to the urn, um, looking in, you can see within it that this was a, the magic is gone now, so your, your, um, detect magic doesn't pick up anything directly from it, but you can see that there were a whole bunch of etchings and such meant to contain a familiar.

Okay. And the familiar was contained within this. Can I fix it? Fix the urn? Yeah. Uh, you think with a little bit of time and work, you could probably repair it. I would be like. Seraphina would be like, are you guys okay in there?

Yeah.

I'm going to take the time to fix the urn if I can.

Uh, so Gus, you're, you repair meticulously this urn. Um, can I have you go ahead and just roll an intelligence saving, intelligence type throw of some sort for fixing it? Like just being able to put the puzzle together.

It's a, it was a magic urn, right? It used to have magic. Can I do an arcana check? Release the spell. Yeah. Okay. Arcana would work. Sixteen. Great. Taking your time and using the magic runes and the lines where the magic used to lie appropriately, actually aids you in patching it back together. And when put back together as a whole, you can see that the urn has a name on it.

It says, Wubbles Home. Wubbles? Wubbles. W O U B B L E. Plasma. Yeah.

Uh, Wubble? It's time to go home now, buddy. Slowly, Ulua is extracted out of the ooze. Slowly, Seraphina is released from the ooze. And finally, Seraphina's father is released from the ooze. As it congeals together in a little bubble, bubble, Rolls up to you. Extends a pseudopod into the urn. And, like a long, drawn out slime ball that you play with in your hands for way too long.

And you can see that the urn just kind of, Moves back and forth for a moment before holding still. Who's a good ooze?

Okay, like once it's all the way in I'm gonna be like, uh, good ooze. Who put that urn there? Is my parish supposed to have this urn? Uh, you hadn't seen it before, but the damage that had been caused had broken open part of the building. And you're looking at So it was like buried in the wall or something?

It was sitting up, but you can see that this urn has been there for At least since your early childhood.

Is my dad still asleep, or is he awake? Uh, yeah, I mean you're laying right next to him after a little bit. S Seraphina?

I'm just gonna put the urn in my bag of holding. For now. What? Oh wait, no, can I do that yet? Cause he won't die cause he's in the urn, right? The ooze? Yeah. As you go to pick up the urn, Wubble tries to get out. Out. I was like, uh, you just stay, and I'm just going to put it back down again. Who's

telling what to stay? What happened here? Did you know you had an ooze name? What? Who? Somebody talk one at a time. Who are you? Hello, I'm friends with your daughter. My name is Gus. And, um, you had an ooze living in an urn named Wubbles. Can we, can we, can we maybe cover this ground later? There are people outside who think that you, and I point to Seraphina, are the cause of all of this and are the villain in this instance.

Um, I did not destroy my home. Other people destroy my home. We know we, we know that, but either we need to bring him out so that everybody can see that he's okay, or we need to go dad in a way that people don't see us, or the least number of people see us as possible. Can you walk outside or can I.

I have, I have a thought. It seems to have kind of worked already. Um, do you have my broom? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, I don't know where I put it. When the ooze took me. It's here somewhere.

Now I can't remember the word, the words. I remember the words to make it go, but I can't remember how to make it come to me. I

mean, surely it's just on the floor somewhere. I would like to roll a perception check to see if it's in the room. Roll that perception check, please. I just love Ulua's face right now. It's probably matching. Like, she had this mind blank moment after seeing the cute little ooze. And now just can't remember her own.

I rolled a 10. Seraphina, what'd you get?

Eight.

I wish Larissa could roll a real life history check right now because she can't.

Uh, yeah, it takes a little bit, but eventually you find the broom. Okay, um, Uh, I'm going to, uh, turn to Seraphina's father, go, um, sir, uh, why don't you, um, get on here and, um, the words are, and then, uh, you know, just think, Where you want to go and it'll take you and you you can go out and you go out that way and I point towards where the person who's like holding the spell and Seraphina's mom and everybody is and we will try to find another way out.

And that way, um, uh, and, uh, and I, and, um, and maybe we can get in touch with you after now that you know, he's okay, but we kind of really need to get out of here. Well, should we go? If you go out, if you go out there and we go out there, they're going to either arrest us or attack us or detain us or I didn't get the impression that they thought Seraphina was the aggressor here.

They just said she was trapped inside. Uh, the way his gaze hardened when I said he was, he, as in you were here. Gus doesn't have any memory of that. No, I'm saying to Jason. That was Jason asking, not Gus, right? Yeah. But Was that Jason or Gus asking? That's Jason, but I thought I, like, my impression of that was because they thought that I was the thugs or whatever that attacked the house.

Well, you said your friend was in there. They, they, when you, when you clarified that your mom was not your friend and that your friend was in there, who is also the person that they tried to keep from going in there. Okay. Who I mean, that's my impression of it. I'm just reading the situation very differently than you, I guess.

I just don't think we should run You know, I could just always, in the future, call for insight checks. To get clarification. But, yeah. I just don't think we should run because, this, like, my parents got involved, and I don't want them to have to deal with this. I mean, if you wanna go out with him, we can try to figure out something later, but we've kind of already, if you want to out, out, I'm gonna hold up the car.

I'm, I'm, I'm gonna hold the car, be like, I made a friend out there. I think we're, we'll be okay. Alright. Well maybe, maybe if we can make it look like we're rescuing, rescuing your dad, which we are. Yeah. But you know what I mean. I'm gonna look at my dad and look. Dad, dad, dad. Play up your illness for a bit.

I mean, I know it's like. Actually bad but like extra play it up and just be like, oh these people saved me Thank you so much

And I I help him off the broom and I and I and I I'm so sorry Yeah, you're gonna need to stop taking those drugs. They're making you sick What? Again, later, later, later, later. I just want you to like stop and take some before I can talk to you. So don't do that. Okay. So I take one of his arms and I put it over my shoulder and then I look at Seraphina and I gesture for her to take the other and then go to help him out.

I do that. And as I do it, I'm turning my head. I'm going like this to Gus, like we're talking,

but I'm helping. Wait, what? What do you mean you're talking? I'm going to talk to him. We have, we have conversations to be had later. Oh, about the medicine? Yeah. Oh, okay. I mean, like, as we're walking out, Like, as we're walking out, I'm gonna tell her, like, That's why I was coming to see you. But, then, they tried to kill me.

So, we'll talk about it. As you start heading down the stairs, you hear a Aw, he wants to come with! Um, I think your friend might need to stay in the basement. They'll probably kill him.

My friend? Who's your friend? Not my friend. Dad, do you know who this thing is? Why was there an urn in your bedroom? Oh, you found it.

We had a life before you kids. No, you didn't. Gus would just be like He just stops talking.

Does it obey you? Will it obey me? Um, it's been so many years, I'm glad to see it's still awake, but uh Alright, Sharafina, this is your inheritance, his name is Wubble. Uh, can you take care of him?

I'm gonna just hold the urn in front of my dad. And just be like, talk to it so it stays calm. And I'm going to keep walking, continuing to walk out. As you all continue out with the urn, uh, Wubbles within the urn, um, not, uh, out and about, um, you all make your way out, and just as you step through the threshold, Bringing surprise to the folks who are in the act of holding things together.

Um, actually, let me do it.

Fully surprising. Not one for the day. The individual who is most responsible for the structural integrity spell, which causes the building to collapse.

The four of you just step out of the threshold as this happened, and they desperately hold what little pieces of their thinking. There's both are that they can together as it all collapses and the dust blossoms out There are cheers from the neighbors as they see Seraphina's father is being safely escorted I just look at my mom and go, I can still explain.

And your mother runs up and she says, shut up. It's probably the first time she's ever said shut up to you in your life. And I, and I go, I second that.

Uh, we're gonna close right there with the joyful collapse and the family engagement moment here. Our first heroic moment with a crowd. Look at us. And we didn't kill anyone! I didn't kill anyone! Nobody died! Woohoo! That we're aware of, or that we caused. Even Wubble lived. Even Wubble lived. Just this once, everybody lives!

Thank you all for joining us, we hope you have a wonderful, wonderful, uh, whatever it is, week, day, month, century, year. Please keep paying attention to our little channel and what we're doing, and we will talk to you again soon. Bye-Bye bye. Okay, bye. Okay, bye.