Probability of Demise

Welcome adventurers to Probability of Demise, the podcast where critical fumbles meet critical facepalms. Join us as we delve into the darkest dungeons, slay the stupidest gremlins, and roll enough ones to make a beholder weep. Forget epic storylines and heroic deeds, here we celebrate the chaotic beauty of bad roles, questionable decisions, and characters with more charisma than sense.

We'll be your dungeon masters of disappointment, guiding you through campaigns where the only guaranteed treasure is a mountain of laughter, and maybe some psychic scarring. So grab your Nat 1 dice, strap on your anxiety helmets, and prepare to witness the glorious trainwreck that is our D and D journey.

Because, in the end Even if your character dies face first into a pile of pudding, at least you'll have the Dice God's permission to laugh your ass off.

Hi, welcome to Probability of Demise. If you have fear of death, I welcome to probability of demise. If you want to like, subscribe and leave a comment, you should do so. And if you wonder why I make up random lame things to start off our sessions with, it's because I make up random lame things to start off our sessions with before introducing the most important member of our band forever and always.

And it's not the person, it's the dice.

Now it's me.

Hello. Wonderful adventurers and welcome again to a wonderful episode of Word of the Day, featuring yes again, my magical D 100 that Jason bought for me and not you most. I Most important character. Most important character right there. MVP. . , the D 100 Silly Goose, the D 100. I want a D100 puppet. A D100 puppet?

Yeah. That would be interesting.

So, dear friends, today's word is chthonic. It is spelled C H T H O N I C, which means of or relating to the underworld. Um, used in a sentence.

Uh, the ancient, the ancient temple was dedicated to the, the, chthonic, it's chthonic. Okay, so. Again, the ancient temple was dedicated to chthonic deities, its hallways echoing with whispers of gods from the underworld. Ta da! Chthonic. Ta da! Well, given that we just got to meet Tanzanite goddess of death again, it seems very appropriate for the spooky season that we're in.

Spooky! Spooky! After last session, the group decided to go to Gus's home. Scooping up Serafina's parents along the way, they I went to Gus's, I mean if you've ever played the recent video game Tiny Glade and you just put a little cottage in one spot and a little tiny block in another spot, you kind of get the picture of where Gus lives.

Gus lives in this idyllic little forest, beautiful and happy, and there in this little place they pooled evidence about what's been happening so far. Try to gamestorm some ideas about what to do. We're met with their, um, investigative patron, the one who started them off on this journey. The one feather on their cheek.

Individual, and discovered that the approaching city is filled with machines, which is a new bit of information. So Slaad in the orphanage, machines in the sky, Tanzanite goddess of death showing up, no biggie, natural 20. Morning sun filters through the curtains of Gus's home, casting a warm glow over the room where the group, parts of the group, had slept.

Serafina's family tucked safely away in their own bed. bed space. Gus, outside, possibly still using the shed, and our Sticky Beak friend passed out over a table covered in various documents, components for magic, and other stuff. Oh, it's a table!

That's like, why is Sticky Beak covered in documents? Because Dickie Beak is covered in documents that Dickie Beak left out. Dickie Beak passed out. At least his beak is covered in stuff because he catches things as they fly by. So you're all here, um, you've hopefully gathered at some point, you've pooled evidence.

Um, and probably discussing next steps, uh, the gravity of the situation has become more dire, I suppose. You've got a city in the sky filled with machines that's looming ever closer, the threat of the S. L. O. D. that are in an orphanage in what passes for the, um, most floatable, but failed floatable, part of the city of Overton that's still considered part of Overton, and in that, that itself just having a few Slaad in the orphanage Sounds like a ticking time bomb. And then we have, of course, Ulua, you have this fresh visit from Tanzanite in your mind. So, both powerful allies and fearful consequences ahead for you all. What are you up to this morning? I'm making breakfast for everybody. I'm making waffles. So Gus, uh, early riser probably, already in the kitchen clinking mugs, re washing mugs.

They say as you get older you need less sleep, so I feel like Gus needs like two hours. Preparing a breakfast. Uh, his home is just a haven filled with all the various, uh, curiosities from a long life with him, his wife, and his art. Um, so it feels like a little bit of a sanctuary here, as you think about all the previous events, of the previous night really.

Um, who wakes up to the sounds of gusts clattering in the kitchen?

I probably would. I might sleep a little bit later, just because my schedule leads towards more evening activities. So I'm not a, not necessarily an early riser. I'm not, if I need to, I can, but it's just not my, where my sleep schedule is set at. Nothing like some chaos to throw off sleep schedules, but!

Serafina waking up first, uh, after being the most pitiful of, of wishing to just stay asleep individuals in the last evening, has now, what, one of the earliest risers, and you can hear Gus clanking away, um, you are next to Ulua where you fell asleep. Booned. Oh yeah. You're, you're under the blanket, I'm on top of the blanket.

It's fine. Separated by a millimeter. Thin, gauzy, cotton. And your mom is just standing over the two of you staring like this.

Um, I'd probably stay absolutely still, wide awake, for about five minutes until I get the courage to like, start to wiggle my way out without waking her. I would love for you to roll a dexterity saving throw because I want to be a brat.

My passive perception is 13, so. I got your passive. It, it, something happens either way, so. No, not Discord. Wrong D app. D and D! D and D! The wrong character. Tiny Glade could sponsor us. We could do a whole Tiny Glade campaign. tiny glade moment here with Gus's home. So wait, I already forgot what I'm doing. What am I doing?

Dexterity saving throw. Did you get any coffee, Eric? No, and this might be a night for coffee. 24. Jesus, okay, fine. You, Seraphina, you slide out. of Ulua's arms, and Ulua unconsciously just flops over into the warm space that you've left behind, and you hear a small little, aww, as you slip away. At blushing, I bolt into the kitchen.

And, you see Gus! Oh, good morning! Good morning! Good morning! Good morning, how did you sleep? Uh, uh, well, thank you. Good, good. Um, I'm making pancakes. Oh. I love pancakes. Uh, you need My tiny hands stirring the huge bowl of pancake batter for like eight people or whatever is here. Do you need help? Um, I think I got it.

Okay, I'm gonna find a counter and sit on it and watch him.

I'm gonna take a ladle and start making pancakes. Making, making pancakes. This cozy domestic scene, stark contrast to what has been happening, uh, elsewhere, um, Eventually, Ulua, the smell is gonna get to you.

Uh, it's probably my stomach rumbling that wakes me up. Um, I'm gonna There's an empty spot in front of you.

Can I see them from where I'm laying, though? I don't know. Gus, can could Ulua see you? I mean, you're in a bedroom, I think. Isn't your thing just one room? It's not a guest room. Yeah, it has bedrooms. There's a bedroom and a guest room. Her parents are in the guest room, and you guys are in my room. I was in the shed.

Um,

I'm just gonna kinda, I'm gonna put my hand there to see if it's still warm.

There's a lingering warmth, but it's hard to tell, you know, when a body leaves, it starts to fade pretty quickly. Because she was so nervous when she got up that she farted, so it's still a little warm. Roll a constitution saving throw. Um, it's a defense mechanism. She's hot minute. Well, I never did that.

Larissa, remember I had that one shot character idea about the nervous farter? Oh god. There's still time. There's still time. Um, Um, never say never. Um, I would just get up and um, try to like, get into the, is there a bathroom? Or is it just like, wash up in the sink kind of thing? Uh, And this is um, I don't know.

Not a, this isn't like ancient. Magic has been used for a lot of things. I'm just, no, I'm just trying to understand the room situation. Like, is there a dedicated bathroom? Yes. I'm going to like, try really hard to get in there rather quickly. Just because I, my, my hair is long and it can get quite unruly, so, when I see you.

Roll a stealth check, Serafina and Gus, roll perception, just because I think this is a good opportunity. Oh wow, Serafina's hair is just everywhere. Marvelous Mrs. Maisel where she gets up in the morning at like 4am and does her hair. She does it all before. Does her makeup on and pretends she's asleep until her husband gets up.

Oh good, and that one for me. I got a natural 20. So, Lil, can you describe for Gus what Gus sees as you try to flip into the bathroom? Yeah, I rolled a 15. Um, I'm mostly, like, I'm trying to, like, sneak along, but then I'm not familiar with this place, so of course I step on a, like, creaky board. But it's One that Gus definitely knows because it's his own home.

Right, exactly. And so that's kind of like what draws his attention is that he notices the squeaky board. And then I just kind of like, Eeeew! What does he see? What is going on with your hair? What sort of nest is this? I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's more that, like, it's, it's pretty voluminous in itself, but usually I tend to keep it, Um, like at least part of it braided and stuff, but with, and what I'll do is at night I take it out and I brush it out until it's very, very, uh, uh, not gnarled and then I braid it back up again and I just like didn't do that at all.

So the braids from yesterday are still in there and like there's, there's like, I always call them shark fins, um, Where, like, parts of the braid have fallen out, and there's, like, Like, one big piece in the back that just looks like a literal shark fin, And then there's pieces that have fallen out. So, it's, uh, It essentially looks patchy, kind of.

Um, and so I just want to, like, get somewhere that I can, like, redo my hair. Beautiful. So, mourning of domestic simplicity. Gus, I don't know if you can do anything with this. What? I said roll for drool. I like that drool. You drooled. Fixed my hair, wiped the drool off. Uh, yeah, so you prep yourself and then come out.

You can see Serafina sitting on the counter watching Gus. As Gus is, like, finishing off a whole batch of pancakes, ready to serve whoever's awake. There's also, like, a big bowl of, like, scrambled eggs, and that's probably it. I think Gus probably has a chicken. Just one. Just one hen, but he probably gets a lot of eggs.

Just one. Just one chicken. Like with anything, there's moments where the chicken just overproduces, and there's moments where the chicken kind of takes a break. And Gus is just one individual, and so there tends to be a small backlog of eggs.

Um, after I, um, finish tidying up my, my hair, I'm going to come out, um, and be like, do you have, um, any coffee or tea or anything with a little zip to it? I'll just point to the coffee pot or it's probably like on maybe let's say like a fireplace or like a percolator. A percolator? Time for the percolator.

Beautiful.

And I'm just going to have a little bougie moment, and I'm going to say a bit more rustic than I'm used to, but it'll do. Mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm. Um, it turns out that it's actually a pour over, and you see a whole bunch of implements over there that you have to work with, and it's just a little bit overwhelming.

Because there's 16 different crafts of different styles, and each is labeled with a different bean style. And you go from going like, oh, a bit more, shit.

Probably not so much. That's what happens to people who visit me, they're like, oh, you don't have espresso? I was like, no, but, um, this might take a while. Um, what I would like to do though is, uh, after I grab coffee and I just kind of, uh, steal myself a little, um, I'm going to come up next to, uh, Serafina.

And say, hey, do you, do you have, do you have a second? Can we, can we talk outside?

Uh, uh, uh, huh, yep. Don't, oh, don't worry, it's nothing bad, it's just, um, actually, are your, are your parents awake? I just yelled, MAMA! And I, I go, You just hear stomping. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. I am WHAT IS IT? I was just wondering if you're awake. Why are you yelling? We're cats in this house. I don't know, it's just what we always did.

Well, why do you keep yelling? You're yelling. Cause you're yelling. I'm not yelling. I was. Yes, you are.

Um, and I look at Ulua and I go, Uh, she's awake. Uh, Okay, um, Actually, maybe it's better if we, If we go in, in there. Will you come with me for a second? Yeah, yeah. Um, and I lead her into, Gus's bedroom, because her dad's laying down there, right? Yeah. Um. No, they're in the guest room. They're in the guest room.

Oh, sorry, yes. You were in the Yes. Um. So, I shut the door, and I just go, um. So, something kind of, uh, crazy happened to me, um, while I was sleeping, um, and I wanted to pass along something. So long story short, I, I, um, recently, just through a series of events, became a follower of Tanzanite. Um, and. And she decided to visit me while I was sleeping.

Um, and I asked her about Oxana and your son, whose name I can't remember right now. Um, thank you. God dang it. I knew it had an R and an X and I couldn't remember. Okay. That's not the first time I've ever remembered it, so don't feel bad. Um, I asked, I asked them, or I asked her about Rodax and Oksana, and I asked that she take care of them, and to make sure that they're, they're, spirits were able to move on and be at peace.

Um, and she, and I also, I also promised Rodax that I would take care of you all. Um, so

Tanzanite said that they would know, and I just want, figured you'd want to know that he's At peace. For what it's worth.

Okay, that's all I've got. I'll leave you to it. Okay, bye. And I just kind of like, frack out awkwardly. Before she does that, I just go in and I give her a hug. And I just go,

I got you. And I let her go. And I awkwardly shut the door. I'll stay in the room with my parents for a little bit longer, though.

Um, who would you like me to go with first? Gus, who's been cooking and everybody keeps abandoning him? Or, uh, He said he was fine! Or Lua, could you please wake up Sticky Beak? I believe he's asleep on my porch. Oh, uh, oh, okay. Why didn't he come in? It was probably warmer in here.

I'm going to go outside. And there's Stickybeak, face down in piles of papers and spell components. Covered in documents. A small, little dragon. Tiny, itsy bitsy, feathered black dragon. Um, curled up on the nook of his neck. Um.

Uh. Hang on. And I go back in and I make another cup of coffee and then I come out and I like Hold it kind of near his beak See if it the scent wafts over you hear a little And then before you can blink a tiny little dragon his head down inside the cup Holding on to the rim as the familiar dives into the coffee.

Uh, I, uh, I mean if, uh, How am I familiar? I don't know. Stickybeak!

And I just kind of look at the familiar and I go, Can you make him up? Can I see them through the open door? Oh, 100%. I would like to try to frisbee a pancake into Stickybeak's head. Roll the attack.

Uh, what is, what is this, uh, improvised weapon? So what do I, what do I add to that? Yeah. Thrown in improvised weapon. Uh, I rolled a 17. I don't know if that's good enough. Oh, uh, Sticky Beaks armor class? Yeah, totally. Sticky Beak is a glass cannon. You toss the, uh, a little, is it a dollar size pancake or a full size pancake?

Yeah. Like a, yeah. A gnomish sized pancake. Yes. And it totally smacks

And the little tiny dragon, Lua, you see it startle and fall full body into the coffee cup, a cup of hot coffee. I'm gonna like, see if I can like, grab his tail and kind of fish him out. Just wrap it all around your finger. This tiny little Feature, spitting coffee in all directions. Sticky beak, oh, oh, what, what are you doing to my, what are you No, no, I didn't, no.

Is he, is Okay, two things. Why is there blood product on my face?

That's why. Um, is he okay? Are they okay? I brought you coffee and then they started drinking it and then they just fell in. They drank it? It's gonna be a long day. There's more. And you hear, uh, Sticky Beak just whisper some words of dismissal and the little dragon, you just, you can feel it suddenly become much lighter as it discorporates, and there's just little black feathers that drift off into little motes.

Aw. It's better for it this way. We won't die of too much Yeah. Thank you for waking me up as politely as you could. And he, you can see he's already assessed the coffee situation and compared it to the pancake that is still sliding off of his beak. I'm just gonna, I'll just, let me just I was assaulted.

With pastry. I'm gonna be like, no salt, just a little butter.

Uh No, it's no salt, just a little batter. A little battery. When Allua chimes in with that, you just see sticky beak. Like, a black feathered creature should not pale, but you see the pale occur. I'm sorry, I've been spending way too much time near him. What should we be doing? Uh, there's so many things. Did, did, did Gus get you up to date on what's happening in the floating city?

Wasn't I there for that? I don't know. I'm dead to the world. Look at all this. Ugh. You see he's, he looks down and he can see like ink smears on some of the documents that were fresher. Nah, I gotta do that all again. I should know better than this. I mean, I guess, what's the immediate threat? The most immediate threat?

I don't know. Do we, do we find help? Who do we go to for help? That's right, it was just me, me and Stickybeak, wasn't it? It was just Gus and everybody else went to bed and then he like looked in the city with his familiar after everybody had gone to bed. Ah, because I remember, I remember coming out and like Yeah, you all came out for a little bit, but then people went to bed.

A bit. And things happened. But, uh, let's

take a pause here as you're about to discuss this, because I want to make sure Seraphina gets a chance to be involved in that conversation. Seraphina, is there anything you talk to your parents about? You can just see your mother and father are processing. Um, no, there's not anything specific I would say.

Um, if they talk to me, if they talk I would speak back, but otherwise I would, was planning on just sort of being there with them, maybe five, ten minutes before, like, excusing myself, being like, breakfast is ready when you are. Yeah, I don't think that they want to, um, they don't, they don't seem to want to express feelings in front of you right now.

Yeah. It's a weird space for them to be in. Um, and you are their child, so I think right now, especially since the role I made was so dismal, They're not doing anything. I mean, that's one reason. They're not going to be provoking. So if you're not, neither are they. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

And so yeah, you rejoin the others as, uh, Stickybeak is walking in, chatting with Ulua, trying to see if Ulua has a sense of what might be going on. Doable, um, Gus has got pancakes all about at this point. And you're back together again. I make a plate. Question four. I'm still making food because I don't know, like, how much food you make for guests because, like, I don't have guests very often.

I'm just, like, making just mountainous piles of food to make sure I have enough for everyone. That's a deep bowl of egg that's just all these pancakes just mixing up a new batch every once in a while. He said he's got it, so he's got it. Um, uh, you make that bed, you sit in it. Um, question for you, Rurik, um, would any of the information that we Reviewed have indicated whether or not Slutty can, um, take over, I would assume not, but, uh, like, undead.

Um, everything that you read indicates that they need a living host. Okay.

Um,

well, I'm going to turn to Sticky Beak and et al. The group. Say, well, I mean.

It sounds like the culmination kind of person that we could go to about both of these things seems to be maybe Sir Gregor, but I think he also, I don't know whether he's corrupt or not, but now maybe the corruption has to do with the Slaadi and less of a, like a power corruption situation. Does that make sense?

I don't know, I'm just trying to Sir Gregor's history is unapproachable. Was there something recent that indicated that he might be corrupted? I think it was more just the concern when we learned how infiltrated the City Watch was, or rather how, I guess this is before we learned just how many of the City Watch are slutty.

Uh, but, prior to that, the concern was that the corruption went much higher and above the city watch, and therefore, the um,

to the politicians It works, uh, uh, the list that we got, did it say, I know it said some ascendant, did it say also the hollow council was infiltrated by the slutty? Yeah, there were some members of the hollow council. So I was just like, as I'm cooking pancakes, I'm like, also the hollow council has been infiltrated, so we didn't know who we could trust.

Okay.

Well, with what you know, Sir Gregor's unique circumstances, would they, would they preclude Sir Gregor as an ally, or? I would like to think so, but I mean, you know what they say, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Oh, Sir Gregor has power. more power out of the city if they want it than they do within it.

Sir Gregor is here because he believes in Overton and Underton. Well then maybe he would be our next, our next step, our next stop. Well then, uh, we could head to the crypt.

Do, uh, I say this with a mouthful of pancakes and eggs all at the same time. Do, do we have to be in his office? Oh, no, when I said the crypt, that's where he's most likely to be this early in the dawn. It's not his office, it's the crypt. I just don't want to go back to his office. It's weird.

And I say, ugh, it's dawn? Oh, no.

It's also known as Morning Sun. It's been up for a little bit. Define a little bit. Uh, just a moment. And he turns and he just starts sweeping up the papers as he's, like, munching on some pancake that he's balled up into a little batter ball. And he's, like, nibbling on it like some sort of deranged Individual who doesn't know how to eat things properly.

I'm also just being facetious because I have the, um,

Keen mind, I know. Yeah, I have keen mind. So I'm just being, I'm just being sassy. Is it weird for a Kenku to eat eggs? Does Stickybeak look offended that I made a bunch of eggs? Hi. Roll a perception check.

Uh, I didn't see shit. That is a four. Okay, uh, Lula, Serafina, you both saw it with your So you saw Sticky Beak sweep a whole chunk of the eggs out of the bowl and into a satchel.

But Gus, you don't see anything. I just look at, uh, Serafina and just go Like, for later, or?

Satchel eggs. Bird of prey. Um. Lots of birds eat other birds eggs. Oh, that's true. Forgot about that. Um. Well, uh, I guess. A bag of holding full of eggs. It's the pack of sulfuric smells.

No, no. Um, you all finish up breakfast, have a good morning meal, but uh, it is time to go to the crypt. Is there any last minute business you need before you leave the home? Um, I'm going to make plates for her parents and make sure they, uh, Have them either in the room if they don't come out, or, remember, just, like, her dad probably needs to eat.

Yeah. Easily enough handled, um, getting them some food. And I'll extend an invitation for them to stay as long as they like and enjoy the fresh air and whatnot. And you can already see that her father's condition is, like, I mean, it could just be that, a temporary short term thing, but it seems something is, like, a little bit healthier, a little bit more color in his skin.

Who knows what that means amongst tiefling people, but it seems to be there. And the four of you make your way to the Crypt. Crypt is not like any other place that you've been. You head to the Entertainment District Seraphina where you hung out with your, um, you have your little shop underneath the shop uh, for your Tinkerings and such, but you head it into the entertainment district.

Ulua, you've been to this district, but you've never had reason to go to the crypt. The undead do not partake of anybody's services of any sort. And you head down into the great yawning entrance of the crypt. I've

seen from the grave we're here to stay undead community night and day Oh zombies vampires all unite at the crypt. We're feeling all right

It's the undead Yeah, it's the un unfair Christ. Afraid eating zombies. Gather round vampires, throw full blood underground skeletons, dance with bone. So bear at the Crip. We're having a scare. Christ.

The music is loud, it's deafening, it's hard to hear. Every single undead creature down here is singing along and it is party central where daylight is evening and evening is morning. You are in the crypt, the very beloved home to the community of undead beings that otherwise kind of skirts along the edges of Overton and Underton society.

So they're just constantly having a rave? By day, there's often this club atmosphere and they just gather together to have community. I just, I, Seraphina just out of nowhere just starts dancing and doesn't stop. She's just like, eh, eh, and dancing very badly. As Seraphina starts dancing out there, um, Ulua and Gus, you see that kind of a circle develops away from her as the undead people kind of move away.

And you get the sense that the living may not be as appreciated here, going into a place that is for the dead.

Unfortunately, Serafina doesn't notice this. She just keeps jamming. She doesn't know what's happening. She's just like, Ooh, this is a bop. What a bop. It's a bop.

Um, yeah, you are here at the crypt. Gus is just like, you know that like look on your face like when you are an old man in like a jazzy noir themed city and then you have to listen to like weird pop music. It's it's terrible. It's like some sort of disco rave dance thing going on and. Yeah, it's gotten under your skin faster than anything.

Um, I'm going to, I'm going to approach the nearest, uh, person, um, and Person of Unlifelessness. Well, just, figure, nearest figure, and Looking for a figurehead. Um, And I just say, um, do you happen to know if Sir Gregor is here? We need to speak with him rather urgently. Ugh. This kind of like, you can't tell if it's human, elf, some sort of humanoid shape.

It could have been a tiefling, but you don't see any markers that would mark that. Could have been one of a variety of beings and lineages. Uh, in this instance it is a skeleton, and, ah, go, uh, be, uh, down the mausoleum side. Thank you, I, I really appreciate it. Yeah, is that your friend? Don't worry, I'll grab her in a moment.

We've had a rough couple of days, so I'm, I'm, I'm Yeah, no worries, no worries, no worries, it's just People come down here for the bachelorette parties and other things, and it's just a little It's exhausting. So, um I completely understand. She, she just, we've She just found out that her brother died, and so she's Oh, so she's getting ready for him to come down here?

I think she's just processing. Do you think you could introduce me to him? I mean, I, I don't, to my knowledge, they haven't found his body. So I don't know that that's going to be possible. So there's a chance. There is a chance. I can't say with 100%. It's not likely to happen, but if you don't do the rights, I mean, Overton or Underton?

Where is he from? Yeah. Overtime? Or did he die? That we don't know either. And he turns and he says, Hey boys, got a fresh one somewhere, we gotta go hunt! And you can see him take off with a bunch of people, and they look very much like they're gonna go try to find fresh ones. Oh my god, this was a few weeks ago, guys, uh.

Oh, it's even better. More likely to be a skelly than a zombie. All right. Thanks, man. I just turned to Gus and I, and I say, I mean, if they didn't find a body, I don't think, I don't think there's going to be a body.

I suppose I trust the search capabilities of the whisper net more than four high skeletons. Eight o'clock in the morning. I don't know. Four skeletons on too much calcium. Doing fat lines of calcium all night long. They are fully remineralized at this point, it's too much for them. Oh god, this is stupid.

Heavy dose. Uh, so yeah, you I'm gonna go out and just Um, I'm just gonna go and, uh, like, sidle up to, um, Seraphina and just like, Kind of grab her hand and go, We have to go this way. And start leading her towards where the, the figure indicated. Eventually the three of you step away from the loudness of the music and you're in a quieter space.

It's more of a lounge area. Um, you can see various undead people. This is actually, um, The lesser undead were up in the front dancing. You And here you see some of those undead that have claimed titles of greater undead. These are undead with more abilities, some of them are magic. You You are back here in the space and you can see that there's just a The undead are pretty egalitarian in their behavior, but there's definitely a sense that those who function at higher levels of society and or have more abilities, they Have occupied this lounge area and you can see that there are various beings that you actually kind of recognize what their genre of undeadness is but there is only one in this city who occupies a space as a leash and You can see Sir Gregor Sitting at a table with a couple of other beings one a floating head And one, a pale woman, who's, uh, fairly full mouth of fangs, give you pause for a minute.

Because that's a little beyond vampirism.

Um, I approach, and I

say, Sir Gregor, I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to contact you ahead of time and request a meeting, but it's, it's, it's rather urgent that we, we speak with you. Um,

can you describe how your demeanor is? I mean, I'm hearing your words, but can you give me a descriptor of what you, what this tableau looks like for, um, Sir Gregor to see you, Serafina, Gus, um, I, I think the, the most important thing that he would notice specifically about me is that like that my usual air of confidence of, um, you know, glamour, I guess, just, you know, kind of, you know, um, elegance is, is all gone.

Um, it's very evident that. Um, I, I, there's no mask, there's no character, there's no, no com shar, this is fully Ulua, um, before him in a very, uh, emotionally naked state. Vulnerable? With Alua's vulnerability, Gus and Seraphina, are you also showing that type or are you masking in any way like what's your attitude as Lua begins the conversation with Sir Gregor?

I think for me it's definitely a

just that absolute roller coaster of feeling like you have no control over your feelings when you first lose someone. So like, you know, I just felt better because I heard a bopping song, you know, and now I'm like back down to being like sad, kind of quiet, definitely staying to the back, not assisting it necessarily at all.

Um,

so I think I'm very inward myself.

Um, so vulnerable, withdrawn, I would say probably just. Like my detective face is on, like I'm, like I'm walking into a crime scene, like that sort of, like professional vibe. Like detached, I guess, maybe, would be a good word for it. Um, yeah, so Gregor looks at you all and takes in each of your comments. Um, a quick glance at StickyBeak.

Or side eye at Stickybeak for any of you would show, uh, feathers flattened. Um, and Sir Gregor nods to the other two at the table and the, um, both of his companions step up. Give a short nod to Sir Gregor. Curious glance in your direction, but They're old enough to know better than to ask questions or even to think them and move away.

And three seats are available for you.

Um, I'm gonna sit.

So, I guess I'll also sit. I'm an old man. Come on. I actually will stay standing, sort of behind, but between Alua and Gus, if that's an option. Yeah. Um, seeing that you're not sitting, Stickybeak slowly slides into the seat. So, uh, what's the emergency? Well, she, well, she starts to explain. I'm going to pull out like our proof with the whisper net documents and stuff.

I'm like, so do I have that? Or do you have that actually? Maybe you still have that. We don't really say we just, we just failed out of the bowl. As Lou is expressing things. You were supporting her with the right documentation. Um, So we have recently discovered that the majority of, uh, the City Watch and many members of the Hollow Council and the Ascended have been replaced with Slutty and that they are behind the murder of Grand, and, but we aren't sure what their motives are.

Um, and, completely separately, uh, we recently learned, and I just kind of look to Sticky Beak to make sure that I'm, so that he knows to step in if I'm misrepresenting. Um, the city that is approaching. Is, seems to be populated by machines. Um, but not anything that any of us is, uh, are familiar with. And, so we also don't know what their intentions are.

Um, so there seems to be two major threats facing the city that we are unsure how to prepare against seeing as the

group of people that are intended to protect us are mostly monsters.

Um, so we came to you because to our knowledge Slutty can't take over, um, can't replace an undead figure. And so we are hoping that you can help us.

I would like you to roll a persuasion check with advantage.

Persuasion! Bringing a lot of information to him. He hasn't been kept in the loop on the progression of things, but you're presenting evidence as you do this because of Gus, so that gives you the advantage. Look, how did you see the shipping manifest from October 6th? Shipping. I mean, you do have a manifest of some gambling.

22.

So what's the advantage? My power I rolled an 11. 11! My power within The Follow Council has been Restricted of weight.

Which aligns with some of what you're speaking to.

Say I were to trust this information you're providing, what would you have me do? You know, it sounds like two threats of a very different sort. And

I might rally forces from my friends, but to what end? And to what goal?

I think it's important to restore the Sanctity of our city's government. Um, so perhaps your best position to eliminate the Slaadi that have made their way onto the council.

And, uh, how do we handle the other issues? Uh, if what you say is true, Sladdi in an orphanage is A recipe for disaster for the whole city. And this other approaching problem. Are you saying that the

the Magitek are coming back? Are they peaceful? What information do you have? It's not them, Stickybeak actually. I just kind of turned to Stickybeak. I go, did you, did you sketch What you saw or I think he did didn't he he he did and he he kind of pulls out a few pieces he says Killed scrimmle I Mean I brought girl back, but they killed I don't A familiar shows up in a space and they immediately kill it?

I can't see this being a friendly.

I suppose, uh, I think that we could handle

one of these issues, but we, we're stretched. We can't stretch ourselves thin and then address none of them. Um, So perhaps, Sir Gregor, you know, would you prefer us to investigate the Flying City, to, to deal with the orphanage, to, to try to clean out some of the City Watch? You have, you know, obviously much more reach than we do allies and resources.

I can begin my investigation into the Council. Figure out who might be, as you say,

under the thumb of a Different being, but

are you familiar,

are you familiar with the, with Slaty and, and No. All, um, not in my mortal life. It wasn't, I was not, no, nothing. Do you have contacts in the Whispernet?

They frown upon the undead. So the main, the main thing that we have found to be helpful is that Slot E are creatures of chaos. And so, any, any situations that you can create that might, Reveal them to act out of character in, in a way that would then appeal to the slutty instead, um, that, that was revealing for us, uh, as well as I believe that they are, they are susceptible to holy magic.

Um. That might be a problem for my people. Yes, but Can they take harm from more mundane means? Y yes, I mean we, we certainly inflicted other magical, uh, other magical damage and mundane damage. Yes, from our studies there, um. Very resistant to elemental magics, like the fires and waters and ice and whatnot.

And also, they are not reliant on sight. But, that is the extent, I think, of our experience. And I don't know whether it will seem like news to you or not, but we found this out because we had to fight and eliminate Oksana. I'm not sure who Oksana is. I'm a little affronted at that moment. My mentor, my, my mentor, my, my landlord, my, my friend, um I put my hand on her shoulder when she talks about that.

And in fighting your friend, the slutty part of her revealed itself to you? Yes. Once, I think the holy magic initiated the change, and then once, once we, Damaged, once we inflicted enough damage it, it fully reverted to its natural form. Um, They look similar to large, they have very, um, amphibian like features.

And, um, they infect people through, through infecting them with a tadpole. And once the Tadpole has matured enough, it

exits the host and kills it and takes on its form.

So I can look for members of the Hull Council who I know fairly well, been acting a bit messier than their normal political selves. Yes. And members of the Watch who should be. All law and order being more disorderly and not so lawful. We can also give you a list to start with of people to investigate.

We have good reason to believe through the WhisperNet that

they have a lot of confirmed cases. Additionally, uh, the, the other thing that to keep in mind is they, they do not retain the full memories of their hosts. So if you were to suggest a memory, uh, a reminder of a time of an occurrence that didn't happen with someone that you are familiar with. And they agree to it.

Although you know it's not true, that is a good indicator because they wouldn't know. how my resources might be put to work laying traps for those we expect are of this persuasion. I'm a little bit more concerned about the orphanage. We don't know how many and Are you aware of how the orphanage is connected to

the rest of the build? Through the messengers. The messengers would be the social side of it, but messenger's central hub was, is the underlayment of the orphanage, which also happens to be the engineering that keeps that small neighborhood afloat.

So that's a warren of The mechanics and underground spaces as well as the passageways from which the messengers have more quickly moved about the crag site. Um, could you get us some sort of papers? We have an engineer, by point, point my thumb at Seraphina. Um, send us to perform an inspection and we'll see what we can find.

That I can do. The city will wait and see hope and pray.

Do we know how far away that city is? Is it like tomorrow? Or is it like a month? You saw the previous night and it's really close, close enough that the familiar could get there pretty quickly. It's almost, I mean, parts of it are probably over parts of the grander side of Overton. Um, the only other thing I would say, uh, to Sir Gregor is, um, do you know anyone else that we can entreat to for help that may be, uh, Maybe isn't as accessible to you, but might be easier for us to approach.

Is there anyone that you, knowing what you know now, that you still absolutely trust?

Nothing living. Okay. Do you think it's worth contacting the incoming city first? Seeing if somehow they could be allies, and you can't turn a blind eye. I suppose that's a resource if you know any of the Magitek here, but it does not sound like they're friendly. Would you three act for, act as emissaries to the city?

We could try to contain the orphanage?

I mean, I could certainly try, uh, whether The last time I met him, Maximo, in the City Watch, was still trustworthy. Oh, keep that in mind. We may test him first. It would be good to have a few more allies. This is a big project.

Uh, what do you think, Sir Gregor, Stickybeak, uh, Incoming city or the orphanage, what's the greater threat? You can see that Sir Gregor is, uh, uncertain and just

already calculating what to do about the two threats that Sir Gregor feels like they can deal with. Um,

I have to defer to you all. And Sticky Beak

is a little bit more fervent. They killed my familiar. I mean, I know it's just a familiar. Resummoned. But, that's, that's pretty aggressive. My, it, my familiars carry messages all the time,

loading cities should be used to that and to just destroy it? Not question it? Not cast a spell to find out who's connected to it? Just to destroy it? That does not feel to me like the act of a friend.

At the same time, if the orphanage explodes out onto us, we'll have Slaad. The city's doomed either way.

So is it better to face the threat that we know and hope the other threat gives us time to deal with the first one? I think that's your decision to make. I don't understand why this is our decision. We are not leaders.

Well, if you don't want to make decisions, you can just watch and see what happens, but um, I'm just a private investigator. Sir Gregor is just a member of the holocouncil, not THE Hollow Council. That's a lot more Hollow Council than we are, but Yeah, but from the description that we just heard, it sounds like a member without a lot of power, and we already know how the Ascended wield power over the Hollow Council.

Alright, well, we're not diplomats. Let's check out the orphanage. We're investigators. Let's Let's investigate.

Uh, I agree with Gus.

I don't know.

I'm happy someone made a decision. I just didn't feel like it should be mine.

If you three are gonna head to the orphanage, I'll see if I can find out more about that city before the threat is more than looming.

Alright. Thank you for your time, Sir Gregor. No, it's, uh, I've looked in the works already and, um, you can see that he has a bit of copper and he's been pointing it around the room this whole time. We will deal with the two most imminent problems. It'll take time.

And then, uh, Sir Gregor hands you, Ulua, as the spokesperson for the group, a ivory whistle.

Things go south and you need us.

Thank you. Can I peek over? Is it made of bone? 100%. Serafina, Serafina steps. Serafina, roll a perception check.

Oh Lord. You just put my perceptions good, so. I mean, I hope it's at least like clean bone. Oop, that's not what I want. Like you blow the whistle, a little tendon flaps. Oh, I get an advantage.

Yeah, you see him hand over the, the, um, whistle, and you also see that the moment he hands over the whistle, he no longer has a pinky. I take a big step over to Gus. I just, I go, oh, Gus, and I go onto his shoulders, and I squeeze him a little bit. Under his shoulders? That's like you built, like, you're like halfway on the floor.

Yeah. I can just see the parent squeezing the child, except it's the other way around a little bit where it's like squeezing the child to get comfort. She's like leaning over me and her hair is like in my face.

All right. All right. Sir Gregor hands you a sheaf of papers. This will make you official.

Here you go, uh, Inspector Serafina, I handed you the papers. I don't move my hands because I'm afraid it's going to be like made of ribs somehow. I just grab them and I tuck them in my bag. The perfectly normal parchment is getting the most creeped out glare from Seraphina. Oh, goodness. I'm just playing that song from earlier in my brain, trying to like, calm down.

And with that, the three of you depart partways from Sticky Beak, um, who's tasked with going to the Um, going to the, the Flying City and trying to investigate what they can. Uh, Sir Gregor and Co, Sir Gregor's, uh, colleagues in the Undead world, hoisting out the Slaad that have impersonated members of the Watch and the Hollow Council, and the three of you to an orphanage to see what you shall see.

Thank you for joining us so much this evening. Day. Next session should be lovely because who doesn't like to go to an orphanage and pick a fight? Thank you for joining us Probability of Demise. This is my pod, you can't have them, but you can borrow us temporarily and be our friend. Like, subscribe, leave a comment, and goodbye.

Okay, bye! Oh, bye!