Probability of Demise

Previously on Probability of Demise Do I have a sense of whether it's, I would, I assume because we broom together on the top floor that I would know what her footsteps sound like. Roll a perception check.

Actually, roll an insight check. Forget perception. We'll use your, and roll with advantage since you do know Oksana. I was gonna say! Woo! Second was a net 20! It

does not sound like Oksana. But as you look to the entranceway, you see Oksana.

Welcome adventurers to Probability of Demise, the podcast where critical fumbles meet critical facepalms. Join us as we delve into the darkest dungeons, slay the stupidest gremlins, and roll enough ones to make a beholder weep. Forget epic storylines and heroic deeds. Here we celebrate the chaotic beauty of bad roles, questionable decisions, and characters with more charisma than sense.

We'll be your dungeon masters of disappointment, guiding you through campaigns where the only guaranteed treasure is a mountain of laughter, and maybe some psychic scarring. So grab your Nat 1 dice, strap on your anxiety helmets, and prepare to witness the glorious trainwreck that is our D and D journey.

Because, in the end Even if your character dies face first into a pile of pudding, at least you'll have the Dice God's permission to laugh your ass off.

Thank you for joining us on Probability of Demise. You're getting the part two. A very, very special long episode. Of course it is so wonderful to have your beautiful and luxuriously gorgeous roommate show up and bring out all sorts of problems. But to warm you back up to where we were, the team, still reeling from revelations about Seraphina's brother, decided to take a detour before heading into the observatory.

They did a little bit of market shop. And, uh, while keeping a low profile, they each had their own little things they needed to procure. And then the trio went to the observatory and supplies in hand, they decided to find a location to lie and wait, explore, understand. And as time passed, they heard footsteps.

And of course, Ulua, the vision and the audio do not match for her as she hears not her roommate yet sees her face And knowing what she knows and doing what she does, Oksana steps into the light, and you join us here on Probability of Demise. Make sure you like, subscribe, and do all the other things. Ta da!

Check one of the negative 20, you start to put together a few other things and you realize, wow, She hasn't sounded like, or behaved like Oksana. For a while.

The last time you think you saw the real Oksana was when you went to a theater to investigate a death.

When she passed you a note from Sticky Beak.

And it makes you worry about your interactions since then.

Does that mean it was the slob that told us we had the disease? Wasn't wrong though. I don't know.

I that your friend does love chaos, . Um, I'm just gonna let her get them walk up.

Oh, is this your client? They gesture towards here. Oh, no, no. You said you had friends? Yes. Um, oh, were you, did that upset you? Uh, what was your name?

Me? It's all right. We've had a lot going on. It's been a, it's been a very hectic few days. Um, uh, you know, we were trying to help her father and getting them into housing and everything. So, um, okay, so this is really awkward for me. But, um, I had a new client, um, approach me. And basically Asked me to use a whip on them.

Um, and I, I've never used one before. So I, I saw this in the market and I picked this up. It looked kind of nice. So I thought it might have a little flair. Um, but I was wondering if you could show me how to use it. I'm not versed in whips. Try a demonstration. I mean, If you can show it on, if you can try it on me, then I would know what, uh, what I would be aiming to do to the client.

Does that make sense? Roll an insight check as you say that. I'm playing the fucking long game, what work.

Insight. That's a 24. I'm sticking with you. With a 24, the gleam in Oksana's eyes is not at all Oksana like, and the way in which they reach their hand forward is with an eagerness that is frightening. Just not, like, they are ready to take the whip. In a way that's not comforting. I'm just gonna send a message to, um, Ulua.

Just point my finger and be like, just say when. So, essentially I'm going to respond and say,

once the tables turn. I am going to say, okay, well, you stay here and I will go, how, how, you have a recommendation of how far away I should go. And I'm going to kind of go in the direction that I saw Gus go. Go into, but not in direct, like, line of sight. Are you handing over the whip at this point? Like, you're just, you're handed over the whip.

You see there, Sansa's face just gleam with eagerness and excitement.

Anywhere you want to be. And she reaches back and she begins to swing the whip at you. And I, I do go to dodge it because I go, Wait, wait, wait, wait! Let me get, let me get a distance away. Like, I, I can't be right in front of you, right? Oh. Oh, yes. Yeah, I suppose. Uh, and I just do like, and she's kind of breathing heavily and you can see a little drool.

Ew. Alright. And I, and I go 10 feet away and I say, okay, um, I'm assuming the client will want me to be like this, and I turn my back to her. As

you turn your back, the whip reaches forward and you hear the whistle of the whip. I need everybody to roll initiative. I'm not resisting though. It doesn't matter.

We're all rolling? Yeah.

One, two, two, oh wait no, twenty three. HAHAHAHAHAHA. AYEEEEEEEEEEE. Pew pew pew pew. Twenty three. Oh my dirty twenty was the worst one, imagine that. HAHAHAHA. Congratulations, Jess. Hey, I'm here to save you, my love. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Oh, that's so cute. She said the L word, she said the L word! HEHEHEHEHE. Uh, you might be toast.

HAHAHA. Okay. Um. 24 total. 24 total. Can I retcon that I made Jormungandr myself after I climbed up there? Because I always forget to do it. I can do it at will. Oh, yeah, sure. Okay. I mean, I kind of assumed you had that going solid the moment she walked in. Burik? Yeah? Just so you understand my intention, uh, as the whip comes sailing towards me, since we're now going into initiative, uh, I'm going to attempt to swing around, grab it around my arm, and yank it out of Oxana's hands.

That makes beautiful sense. Um, I'm just trying to find the thing that I thought I made for this. D10 is a spaceship, right? Yes.

I always look at all the numbers on it, and I know it says 1 to 0, which is 1 to 10. Just like, for whatever reason, my brain just doesn't want to process it as a D10, no matter how many times I roll it around in my hands. Ha, ha, ha. I still cannot fully The reason I have this is because I cannot read a fucking D100.

Like, with the two separate dice, I can never figure it out. I mean, I understand the, the concept. I just don't understand if you roll

So if you roll a 60 and a 0, it's 60. But if you roll zeros across the board, then it's 100?

Yes. Because 90 and a 0 would be 90. Yeah. So the double zero and then a zero on the, on the other die is a one hundred. Yeah, so that's what always flips me up. Hmm.

Problem solved!

May I introduce you to the D100? May I introduce you to math.

The reason I bought D100s for everybody. For this fucking reason that none of us can read the D100 quickly. We have to stop and think about it for half an hour. Except for Rurik. Rurik has I like it. Fun. I know. Sorry, I had to make this thing show up, which is not doing what I wanted it to do, so you'll just have to use your imaginations a little bit.

Um. Imagination. Ignoring the lights, which are not doing what I wanted them to do, they shouldn't be on. But you're in this giant room with this, uh, defunct astrolab in the middle. That's not exactly how it looks, but I was trying to make it feel that way. Okay. Um. In this room. And Gus, you are up higher in the top area of it, so you can actually see the whole space.

So the way, the way I tried to place it is that right now the closest person to Oxana wannabe is, is Seraphina and in theory she has her back to Seraphina because she's facing me. And I'm facing a, like, I went out away from the, like, the campfire towards where Gus Yeah. But Gus, from up on high, not down low, which I can't really figure out how to do here, you can see Ulua back turned to Oksana, who actually kind of looks pretty.

And then Sana's back is turned to you, um Except Seraphina should also be facing Oksana. Yeah, I just really enjoyed the ears. That's very cute. I don't know what this figure is, but it's very cute. They kind of look like if Trixie was actually the Pirate Queen. Yeah. No means we have heard of her. So there is rubble of materials, but apparently all the tables that I had set up got deleted and the pillars got deleted.

So that's why it's not looking quite right here for me. But you have plenty of areas to get to cover if you would want to, all that sort of thing. Can you point at everyone? It's I'm having a hard time seeing. Yeah, the floor, I think, pattern is a little distracting, so it's hard to, uh No, once I know who's where, I'm good.

I just Yeah, if you did like a lighter colored floor, it might be easier to see the Sorry. Sorry, friend. There we There it is. Okay. Yay. You're awesome. Thank you. Okay. Again, it's just here. Yes. Thanks. It's just here for reference, as you Gus yells out, Holy shit, as the whole floor turns to sand. So, Jess, you're on the left.

I'm the farthest to the left. And then Oksana. Oksana. And then me. And then Gus. And then Gus, hiding. Okay, yeah. Uh, what was your roll, Ulua? You need to write down your rolls now. My initiative? Yeah. 23. 23. 23. Jess had a natural 20, plus what?

I had a natural 20. Plus what? Plus what? Plus what?

You passed. I had a dirty 20. No one can attack my love. No one.

She raises the whip and Seraphina just cuts off her hand. Okay, so the whip is flinging towards you, Ulua,

and as you whip around to catch the whip on your arm,

It wraps around your arm and And as it was not, um, keyed to Oksana as the user, but keyed to you, you feel this pulse of energy as it touches you, but it's not aimed at you, it's sent right back to the person who is unknowingly wielding this tool. Can I have you roll the attack, please? Okay, uh, so excited!

Okay, that is an 18.

You feel the pulse go back towards the wielder and Oksana drops it before it comes back and touches her skin. Um, and as she drops it, you see her form ripple. Obscenely. And with that, we're going into the initiative order, which starts off with, because Oksana is now in battle mode, uh, or the one who was Oksana.

So, Seraphina, you see the rippling and morphing of the figure that is Oksana. You see that some sort of pulse through the whip had traveled back towards, but missed, as Oksana let go just in time. And, Uh, Gus, you also see this, and you all, uh, have,

and, well, Seraphina, you have, we're just gonna call it triplet. Um, but you all have a surprise round before we go into the rounds, so you've caught her off guard. Or it off guard. So, Seraphina, go ahead and do your action, action, bonus action movement, and then just know that after I go through the other two, then there will be another round of Just a basic turn before Oksana has her turn.

You've got all, a lot of moves. Ulua set up a really successful situation here. Anyway. Once in a while I have a good idea. She gonna be dead before she even gets a turn. No, don't say that. Don't jinx us, you dummy! I don't know if we want to kill her because we probably want to

Oh wait, I put the wrong thing. Wrong S word. Bonk with the radius. There we go. Okay. So, I would like to run up to Oksana, Oksana, and bring out my brand new broadsword, ch chunk, and swipe and a swipe. A swipe and a swipe. Now question about this device. Device? Tool? Weapon? Um, am I, am I using The, like, bonuses and everything of individual items, or am I using, if I click on the definition of what this thing is, am I using that information?

Does that make sense? Does that question make sense? Um, Like, is there one stat for all the weapons, or is there individual stats for each weapon type that it turns into? Yeah, it's a different stat. If you, if you remember when I shared it with you before, it was each, If you remember when I shared it with you before, it was each, weapon you have to just look up that weapon type and how it does damage and everything just know that whatever weapon it is it's whatever weapon it is it is considered magical but you have to use the weapon type that is currently in in its form so you'll have to look at a sword a broad sword how much damage how much to hit what type of damage it does great sword okay use the great sword perfect let's show 2d6.

Alright, but I have to do attack first, so Not item.

I believe your attack is a plus 8 for this. Ooh, that's not great.

14 for the first swing? Your first swing, you're off balance as the whip has almost hit uh, your friend, Oxana. Um, and you just Swing a little too short, maybe the nerves of the moment too much for you. Go ahead and, are you doing, uh, for your second action, are you doing another physical attack like that?

Yeah, I would have gone down and then like gone up. Uh, and this one is a Son of a wannabe. 21.

21 hits. Okay, you gotta be shitting me.

I rolled two once, plus one, so three points of damage. Okay, you get closer, taking a small step at a time, and while this time your aim is true, you are still too hesitant to actually engage with this creature that was Oksana, and so your hit is light, and you do draw blood, but it isn't as much as you might have expected.

Um, you have your bonus action and movement left. Yeah, um, for my bonus action, uh, Now, switching out the weapons isn't a thing, right? Or is it a thing? It is. You can change the weapons. Like, uh, without it being an action or something? I believe it was a bonus action to change the weapons. Oh, it was a bonus action, okay.

Make one X on your turn, and attack with a light weapon, okay? A barrage sword is not a light weapon. Um, okay. That's all I'm gonna do for it this second.

Okay. So, that takes us to Ulua. Your whip. Has wrapped itself around your wrist, and already begins to draw itself back to you, and you hear a whispered voice In your head, going, Don't share me with that!

Um, I'm just gonna, like, in my head, respond back,

You helped me test them, thank you. Um, and as I'm, like, pulling the whip back with one hand, I'm gonna cast out Uh, another hand, and just, uh, say Darkness, and I'm going to cast, uh, Blindness.

Um, and they need to make a 15 con save. Choo choo!

They I thought Rourke froze for a second. They did not make that save. Okay. So they are currently blind. Um. However, even as you cast this, you see that they're not much impeded by this. There's something going on where they don't seem to have taken it. That, this should have been debilitating. It doesn't seem to have impacted them as much as it should have.

Running action, I forgot. Um. So I have. I, that was like the surprise run action, right? Okay. Yeah. Um, and now, as I, uh You, you also have your movement and your, and your, um Bonus action. Bonus action. And then I'm gonna go back through the order Okay. Before it's their turns. Okay. Um, Bonus action. I don't really have, I don't, I have

Actually, you know what? I am going to, uh,

call out to, uh, Seraphina and go, you got this and cast Bardic Inspiration. Okay. What's your Bardic Inspiration these days? What, what dice is it? 200. Um, this only. Uh, it's a date. It's a date. Yes. Uh, Um, and then I am going to move Hang on, I just want to see what the actual, uh, regular distance is. Okay, actually I'm not, I'm not gonna move.

Um, because the reach of my whip is ten feet, so I actually did that without knowing what the reach of it was. Um, so that is my surprise round turn. Okay, uh, Gus, you see this activity occurring on the ground floor. Seraphina, uh, trying to, and missing, and then kind of getting a glancing blow in. Uh, Ulua trying to manage this situation, but, you know, things are going, honestly, fairly well.

Uh, But, Gus, from your, your perch on high, you see everything unfold and have your opportunity. How many exits are there from this room? Uh, roll a perception check. This wasn't something you could have checked while we were waiting? Uh, 14. You believe there's only the one entrance, but there's probably, possibly hidden rooms in spaces like this and that does give you some pause.

But there's only one entrance that appears to be visible. Okay, um, Right now I'm just going to throw an Eldritch Blast.

Sparkling rainbows cross the space. How many rainbows do you have these days? I have

two roll the attacks on both of those. Do I roll them separately or is it just you roll 'em separately Unless you wanna roll them all at once and trust that it's not gonna be bad news each time. Uh, 13 hit no. Okay. And then the 21 hit? Yes. Um, so that is spaceship.

Uh, six damage. Awesome. They take the six damage. And that takes us back up to the top of the order, which means, Seraphina, you, unless you have a bonus action or, uh, movement that you want to take advantage of for Gus. No, I'm a Stare o Mat. Okay. Seraphina. Far away. Okay. First, I would like to use a bonus action of Insightful Fighting.

Awesome. Um, so it's a bonus action. You can make an insight check against a creature that I can see that isn't incapacitated against their deception check. And if I succeed, I get to use a sneak attack, even if I don't have advantage. Yep. Go ahead and roll that check. That's very fun. Do I add anything to that roll?

Or is it just a straight roll? check. It's your deception check. Oh, it's a deception for okay. So it's your insight versus their deception. So you roll your insight check. Got it. I roll the deception. 17? Yeah, you beat it. Okay. Which, if you could, Ulua could interpret things, and you weren't sure at this point, would be making it very clear that Ulua, that Oksana is not who she is, because She should be able to charm her way out of any sort of insight check like that.

Um, so Duh

duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh. So wait, no, I haven't used this in a while. What does my sneak attack mean? Oh, here we go. I add, okay, okay, okay. So, 66. So now, I'm still there, so I'm gonna once again, I still have my dagger out, or my greatsword out. And I'm gonna go, one, two. Boom.

An 18 for the first one? Um, what's your second one coming from? Do you have, like, action surge or two? I have two attacks. Okay, you do have an extra attack. Uh, no. It's from your, um, So you do have the two attack actions. So you will be able to use the greatsword twice, but you won't be able to use the fainting action.

And Okay, so just go do your second attack. 18 does not hit. 18 does not hit no. Jesus. 18 hit when I, um,

18 hit when I rolled. Different thing. Oh, 24 that hits. Okay. Um, so get two of these. That's way better. So, and then I get to do two more because of my sneaky sneaks.

Okay. Ooh, very good. Okay, so six, so wait, ten, nineteen, uh, twenty points of damage. Woo! Woo! Your first try at this didn't do much. Now, you are really hitting this being that their body is even more discombobulated falling apart from the human form even as you slice into it. That was your bonus action. That was your actions.

Are you or your action and do you have movement? Do you like to use who are within its sphere? Yeah, I don't want to move. But if you will allow me a comment, I'd like to say once I strike her, I'd like to go. No one's allowed to whip Ulua, except for me. Wait.

Okay. Uh, Ulua, you're up next. Gus, you're on deck. Um, I just kind of smirk at her and I go, that's my girl. And then I, uh, I point at, uh, Oksana Wannabe. I'm using that now because I don't have another name. Uh, and I'm going to Inspiration! Next time. Next time. When you need it. When you really need it. Uh, I'm going to cast Um Ralotham's Psychic Lance.

Okay. Uh, which they need to save, uh, on a 15 intelligence. Save. They do have advantage on this, so they are going to roll that again. Natural 20. So they still take half.

Roll the damage and tell me what half is. Uh, 29. So, is it round up or down? I can't remember. Round's down. So, 14? Yep.

They take the psychic glance. You have your bonus action. And movement. Um,

Can I, like, I don't want to give this clue. Would I, would Gus's Eldritch Blast have given away his location? You're pretty sure that those rainbows that went flying through gave away Gus's location. Yeah, because she's still facing me, right? She's not facing Seraphina. She's not facing Seraphina. In which case, I'm going to, um, I can cast more than one inspiration at a time, right?

Yeah, you just have a limited number that you can have all together. Right. But you can leave one on Seraphina and one on Gus or one on Oxana if you wanted to. Oh, I've got some unsettling words for her, if need be. Um, so I'm just gonna, um, kinda like pivot and Point at him and go, You got this! And give him bardic inspiration.

Gus, you have a d8 inspiration. And, uh, put it back and rip at the, uh, whip at the ready. For next turn. Gus! I'm going to pull out my uh, wand of magic missile and unload all seven charges at her for 23 damage.

Just a torrent of magic missiles. Describe what's happening here with this. What was it? 28 damage, you said? Yeah. 23. Yeah, 23. I think it's just like a pulse. Like it's almost like a, like a machine gun of magic missiles. It's like, like seven times. Okay. Just emptying the wand, like it looks a little limp and tired when it's done.

And I just put it back in the little thing on my belt. Does it recover, uh? It does, um, in the morning it recovers. I have to roll for it every day. Okay. Fully expended Wand of Magic Missiles is spent, um. Oh! Stand up, stand up, stand up, stand up. Jesus. And bonus action. Um, no movement. Okay. Stay where I'm at.

Staying where you are, magic missiles having flared out around you, Seraphina, Ulua, and Gus, you've made a huge amount of hits on this creature, and as the final missile hits, you see their body erupt out of the form of Voxana, and you see a green Seraphina shape. Uh, this is a true Slaad. Frog like features, the long claws, the horrific eyes and teeth, taking up more space than Oksana's body should have.

It's this large aberration, and as it erupts out, you see the wheels of the damage that has been done to it, and you see a few of them shrink closed. Recovering somehow, some amount of health at the beginning of its turn. And you then see it's malevolent gaze just focused purely on you, Ulua, as the one who, um, started this whole thing.

And the opportunity and the whip being ripped away. Or, not ripped away, but dropped, and the hit that caused all this craziness to happen.

You see it prepare two spells and release them at the same time, and you see, uh, flames coming towards you. Flames! Flames! Flames. Fire! Just, flames. It is hurling flames. Blame at you. So, I need to ask. Does 23 hit? Yes. Okay. And does 9 hit? No. Okay, so one of these flames comes flying and just kind of scorches past you but the other one comes and hits you in the chest for 10 points of fire damage.

You see the fireball that flew over your shoulder hits a table and lights it a fire and that fire continues burning. Hmm.

Okay. Um, that action is going to It's not capable of much else right now. Being as it's pissed off. Uh, despite the blindness, it seems to know exactly where you are. Um,

and with that, its turn is over. Even as it stalks forward towards you. So it is moving, which Seraphina, does mean you'll have an opportunity attack. Would you like to take it as a reaction? Heck yeah, I will. Okay, roll your attack. Hehehehe. Duh. Could it be? I don't know. Oh, does Sloth have blindsight? Is that what I can see?

Okay. Um. Um. Uh, well, by opportunity, reaction. I can't see Gus yet, but now that you've unveiled that, I will, uh, share that yes, Slaad have blindsight up to 30 feet. So it can't see Gus, but it can see Would that have been in one of the books that we read, though? I feel like I would have known that, and then maybe it would have Eh, oh well.

I mean, not with the roles you had. I gave you a lot, though. Right, yeah. I gave a ton. Yeah. Right. I'm not sure what I add, but I only rolled a four, so I'm sure it's not enough. That's probably not gonna hit, even if you had, like, a gold. You'd have to have a weapon of plus. I just, I do a little kick, but I miss.

Sixteen. Okay, so, that misses, and it's back to your turn, Seraphina. Okay. Let's watch your reaction. Yeah. So you spent a reaction and got it back. So, with my two actions, I could do a melee and a spell? Or you still can't do a spell with No, you don't have two actions, you have two attacks. If you choose the attack action.

I fi that finally clicked in my head. I finally understand that now. Okay. Um, I would like to How far did she move away from me? Are they now? About 10 feet further. 15 feet further. So they're 15 feet from me. Yeah, they're stalking towards Ulua. Yeah. Okay. I would Ah, I see. Okay, so I'm going to cast Hellish Rebuke on it.

Oh. Point of finger. How much would you give for the reaction? As a reaction? Oh, one reaction. Dang it. Okay, so then I'm going to do Inflict Wounds. Okay. So I have to go and attack Um That's only a plus five. Ugh, come on. Inflict Wounds is by touch, which means you're moving away from me. Yeah, I have to go and hit them.

Yeah, so I have to move 15 feet. It's plus five to hit. Ugh, five, um, 11.

That misses. So you go to reach up and smack them with this necrotic spell and you just miss. I'm gonna use my bonus action of cunning action to disengage, to back up a bit. And then you move back. Yeah. Okay. Deuces! That's all I'm going to do for now. Well blown. Uh, Lula, you're up. Gus, you're up next. Uh, maybe I guess as my bonus action, like, doing an insight check to see if I can, or survival check to see if I can guess how, how much health, uh, Not, like, literally how many points, but essentially I don't want, I want to be able to stop before we kill it.

So, um, if I can get a, a, a sense of With the recent recovery thing that it had, it was getting weaker for a moment, but then that recovery seemed to get it just back over the cusp of the dangerous Okay. spaces. Okay. Then I

Um, I'm going to cast Cloud of Daggers at the 4th level. Uh, so that Oxana is right on the, I guess, right on the edge of it. With, I'm trying to think, so that it would be closer, if it came closer to me, then it would step more into Cloud of Daggers. Does that make sense? Yeah. How big is your pot of daggers?

It's a 5 foot cube. EEEE! Pretend that's the side of daggers. Okay. Uh, so that's Hang on, I have to roll. 9

15 Uh, 26 Meh.

28. So, Uh, If, uh, if the slot doesn't move outside of the daggers, it'll take 28 damage on its next turn. Which I think, oh no, Gus is next. Hey, I rolled two ones on the last two d6, alright?

Alright. So when it starts its turn, it's gonna take that damage. Um, Gus. So the exit that I know of is behind Seraphina. Yeah. Yeah, that works. Okay. So I'm going to drop a wall of light behind Seraphina, like across the entire room or 60 feet of the entire room. At least it has to run through the cloud of daggers through Seraphina or through that telescope to get out.

Somebody's getting a reaction if it tries to run. It's not going there. I like that. Yeah. Just imagine that that's the wall of light. Except for it's a big wall of like rainbow prison light. Yeah, I don't have rainbow prisons, but I like this. It's my description for it. Okay, cool. I don't think I can do anything with it yet.

Yeah, without dropping it right on her head, I can't do anything. So, um, yeah, I'm done for now. I'm still gonna hang out in my thing. Beautiful. Um, it's Oksana's turn so she takes How much damage was that again? Um No, mine. Mine. 28. 28. Okay. And Gus, do you have anything with your Wall of Light that's happening as it starts its turn?

Not yet. I'll need another turn, I think. Um Without it being standing in the light, it doesn't do anything yet. Okay. As the, as your cloud of daggers rips into this creature, Oksana, you watch both wounds open and then some of those same wounds heal. And for the first time, it indicates a little bit of concern for itself and it steps back out of the cloud of daggers.

And turns and fully faces Seraphina for the first time. Yeeeep! Oh, hello!

And begins a headlong charge. Just faster, but not out of your range so you don't get an opportunity attack. And it Then they're going to This is kind of not making them happy. They're going to keep charging so you will have an opportunity attack. Me. Yes, Seraphina. So now I can do Hellish Rebuke. Yes, no, only if it hits you.

Isn't that what Hellish Rebuke says? Yeah, I think you have to take damage to do Hellish Rebuke. Oh, you're right. You get hurt, you get hurt back. Things I know from Baldur's Gate. Um, then I'mma, I'mma just do, uh, It's a hitty hit with my sword. Roll the attack, please. Come on, be good. Actually, I'm going to switch and die because you've been bad.

You be good. Um, Inspiration. Inspiration. Cough. Um, Um, Well, I mean, even without adding something, it's an unnatural 20. Oh, I should use that! Oh my god, it would be so good. An unnatural 20? Yeah, without adding. That just hits. Yep. Now we know, folks, it's 20. Ayy. Uh. And then Four, five, six, seven, eight points of damage.

True. Beautiful.

It's looking rougher than it had before. And as it's looking rougher than it had before, it runs into your wall. It's blindsight, not letting it know that the wall is there. That is 48 of damage it will take. Wow. Don't lose. I know every time you say it, you know you're going to lose. You're going to hold that beautiful light.

Footage. Damage. Damage. 19. 19 damage. 19? It screams as it hits this invisible barrier that it was unaware was there and turns and seems to be threatening Seraphina from a distance. With its turn over, Seraphina, it is your turn. Alright. Um, I would like to ask uh, uh, It's It's scream was quite loud. Um, roll an insight check.

Heh heh heh. Natural 20. You look like a natural 20 machine today. You don't speak slutty, but you're pretty sure that wasn't just a scream of rage, but actual communication of some sort. Uh oh. And that sends a chill down your spine.

With that roll, am I able to see if they're fighting because we're attacking or because they want us to be taken down? They are a creature of chaos. They are enjoying fighting immensely, but they apparently just realized that they may be taken out and they've screamed for help. Mm mm-Hmm. as a bonus action.

I'd like to holler out. We might have more company later. Don't know what that scream was about. Um, and in the meantime, I am going to two actions. I'm now, how far away from her am I or them? You're about five, 10 feet. Oh, okay, so I'm really close. Yeah, you're super close. Um, I'm gonna go up and

I'm really liking my new greatsword. So I'm gonna whack it again two more times with that. Just being like, new sword! Oh shit. Roll the attacks. Beric, I screwed up. Um, con six team saver would've took half damage. Oh. I'll roll the con save and ret con whatever needs to happen. It also has to end the turn in the wall.

I think they can walk through. Through the wall, without taking damage, if they stop at it. Yeah, okay, I got it. All right, come on. Okay, that one definitely will hit. That's a

26 and a Dang it, 19. The 26 hits. Yep, all right. Uh, okay.

Six, seven, eight. Six, seven, eight. Uh, nine points of damage. Cool. And, uh,

I'm gonna stay where I am. Alright. That takes us to Ulua. Your friend, Seraphina, is up right in the action. There's a cloud of daggers between you and both of them. There seems to be this cloud Bright light wall that it's almost trapped within. It's right up against, or pressed up against. Why are there so many walls made of rainbows?

It is the prism of death. Oh, the eighth level thing that I have that goes along with the whip. You attempt to beguile a creature that you can see within range. Yeah. Okay. You'll have to move a little closer, which means you'll have to skirt your cloud a little bit, but yeah. Not within 60 feet anymore?

Okay. Well, I have to drop the cloud anyways because Okay, then you just build a step forward. Yeah, dominate is a, uh Concentration. Yeah, is a concentration spell. So, um, I drop Cloud of Daggers. And I Use a charge, some, there it goes. Uh, I still have three charges of the other thing. Um, I just accidentally hit them, never mind.

Uh, yeah, so I'm going to try to do that. It has to save on a wisdom saving throw of 18 or higher. It does have advantage on this? It has advantage on wisdom and intelligence saving throws? Yes. Jesus. And it passed. So. It was worth a shot. Um. Yeah. So I would then like to use my last bardic inspiration to cast Sorry, go ahead.

I'll explain after, go ahead. uh, to cast unsettling words, uh, which is just good. Damage version of it, um, and I'm just gonna say, uh, green is not a good color on you. Ooh. Okay, roll your d8 so we can find out how much we subtract from the next saving throw. I'd cast this before the dominate. Oh, I didn't think of that.

Okay. I wish I could recommend it. Oh well. I, for some reason, I thought Unsettling Words was actually damage. That's why, um, I didn't think it was. No, it's the saving throws. Yeah. So. Uh. Which, in this type of battle, and I think now you would know this, is facing a green slug. At least. Reducing its saving throws is super useful, especially when you're casting spells that use saving throws.

I mean, if you want to retcon and switch it around, I'd be part of you. So, there you go. I'm just, I'm just saying, like, you have this knowledge now. Yeah. You know, in a world where you're fighting multiple sloth, probably, possibly. Uh, so I rolled a three, so, not great. You are not crawling with proud, monster.

Heh heh heh. In a world where frog monsters live everywhere. No, so the reason I went, oh, is because if, um, I expend the last part of my wand, I have to roll a d20, and if I roll a natural one, it crumbles to ash, and I roll the natural one, so it crumbles to ash. It went limp, and then it fell apart. No! I forgot to roll a d20, so I just did it.

And I broke it. No, it's truly expended. Then it's literally the only weapon that I've done any real damage with in any fight that we've had. I'm a little nervous for this wall. I'm just going to, yeah, I'm just going to, to close the distance, the last, like the final, like 25 feet that I would have had to, or however much I would have had to, you'd have to move a little bit further than you have movement for.

No, I'm not. I've just closed the distance, not like what I have. Get closer. Yeah. Okay.

Awesome. That takes us to Gus. Who me? Um. And your wall of light. Me and a wall of light? What? Sorry, I pulled up the wrong stuff. I have to pull the wall of light up here. Okay, so I'm gonna do, um, a beam of radiance from my wall. Okay. And it, uh, ranged a spell attack, so

24 hits, right? Hits. Okay, um I think When I hit the target takes When I make a ranged spell attack on a hit target, it takes 48 radiant damage, so there's no save on the beam. Okay. Um If I'm wrong, yell at me in the comments. On a successful save, it takes half as much damage. I think, if we're standing in the wall, yes, for the beam of radiance, I don't think there's a save.

Like, uh, 20. 20 damage. Let me just read this closer, hang on. Yeah, it does. It, it does Whether you hit or miss, it reduces the length of the wall by 10 feet. Once it drops to zero. This is kinda cool, I love this. It's like a reducing every time you use that, but it's also, that's so cool looking. I just love the picture of this, like, rainbow wall that's drained some of itself to shoot someone.

It's just such a cool image. So what, what was the damage? Sorry. Uh, 20. 20. Here it goes.

Bloop, I'm not blooping it's too much work. Actually it feels too cinematic, not to bloop it, so. Bloop. Bloop. Bloop. Hey! We're blooping! Bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop. Okay. Uh, so the beam strikes them and it just rips apart their um, it rips into the subcutaneous flesh. you can see a lot of it.

It's got beam of light played it really well. Um, bonus action that was, or what was that? Um, that it was my, that's an attack spell. So that was my action. The actions unless it'd be like bonus action or movement. Um, I'm going to come down now and I'm going to move up near Ulua if I can get there or as close as far forward as I can get.

Out there, based on climbing down. Great! So, with clean line of sight, it is their turn. They recover. Their little trickle of health at the beginning of their turn. It's just that they're looking really haggard and awful. They screech one more time. And, they are going to They're going to try their best. So seeing you're all kind of lined up for it.

It's going to cast fear. And I need you all to roll, um,

a wisdom saving throw. Or you'll have to drop whatever you're holding and become frightened for the duration. Nineteen. Nice. And what is it, again? Wisdom. Wisdom. Thank you. It was some saving throw. Mm hmm. Yes. Sorry, I'm just thinking about how in campaign one I failed like every fear throw I ever fear saving throw I ever rolled.

Was it a little bit of a PTSD of like, oh god. Yeah. It's just my heart just jumped a little bit because like, Asher spent half of the campaign just running in circles every time a dragon came near. I also got a 19. Oh, shit. Seraphina, you drop your sword. Oh! And you are frightened, which means that you will be unable to approach the creature any closer, not that you can get any closer, and any attacks against it will be made with disadvantage.

So, as long as it's within your sight, you could run around things, but then you can't really attack them, and you can't see them, so that's just a weird little thing. Um, it does the fear and then I think I'm getting it. What? It's a line from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Sorry. Uh, it is going to, it's going to try to run off to the side.

Cause it can't run that way. Is it trying to go around? Yeah. Nice. Um, so if you know, you did have an opportunity attack, if you'd like to take it. You will be rolling that opportunity attack at disadvantage, or you can save your reaction for other uses. Um, will you say that one more time, uh, for us for a second?

You have an opportunity attack as it did leave your area, um, but you will be rolling that opportunity attack at disadvantage. So you can decide whether or not you want to save your reaction for something else, but your turn will be up next anyways, so I don't know if that matters to you. Um, Oh, you, you can't attack it because you were forced to drop your blade.

Yeah. Yeah. So Never mind. I just go

Good move by the sloth there. I want you to like, I want you to freak out on armstrike it. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah, if I can just slap it. Yeah, like when people accidentally smack their eyebrows when they scare them. Roll that attack with disadvantage. That would be interesting to see if you hit it. Come on, baby.

Come on. Give me that natural 20. Hey, it's not bad, though. With disadvantage, though. It's disadvantage. You gotta roll it twice, remember. Take the lower of the two. Natural 20. Natural 20. Okay, still good. Still good. What? Okay, so, you know, we might get this. We might get this unarmed strike, guys. Stop pressing the wrong buttons, Jessica.

You get to add 5 to an unarmed strike, so whatever you rolled, you get to add 5 to.

Unnatural 20. Unnatural. Unnatural 20, that just, you barely freaked out slapped it for 2 points of damage. It's already grotesque, the body. Ripped apart. It's two points. And that, it's just like you dug in. It's kinda like when somebody has a scratch and then you scratch the scratch. Yep. You are that awful being who just scratches the scratch.

Pour salt on the wound. Yeah. Okay, that takes us to Ulua. I'm going to use the It is in retreat. The feature of my whip that extends the range to 300 feet. Okay. Wait, don't I get to go? Yep. That was your, oh, that was just your reaction. Oh no, that's what, go for it. Sarafina. Okay. So you are frightened now. I am frightened.

You need to pick up your weapon if you wanna pick it up. I, I, picking it up would be an action, movement. Action, right. Oh, that's a movement. Yeah. Okay. Uh, so no, getting up is an getting up Is movement picking it up will be,

I think that's an action. I dunno, I think it's a bonus action. Okay, it's a bonus action. Okay, so I pick up my thing as a bonus action and Very hesitantly, I Run to Ulua's side No, I don't that's dumb. I don't have to What I want to do and you might have to help me with this is it's one of those things where it's like she's frightened Because of the spell, but also she wants to be brave for her The girl she has a crush on.

So, like, she wants to, like, you know, tentatively still try to fight, so maybe, like, a spell at disadvantage? Well, an a A spell that is an attack spell would be at disadvantage, but a spell that is, like, a saving throw wouldn't be at disadvantage, because there's no attack throw in that. Yeah, but I could do, like, a, um,

I could throw a fireball. Scaredly. Fire bolt or fireball? Fire bolt. Bolt. Okay. Yeah. A fire bolt would be thrown at disadvantage. Yeah. Okay. I look to Ulua. You not won this mother fucker. Do where to go. Just a bolt. Yeah. It's not a fireball. So I look at Ulua to try to find a little bit of courage and my heart skips a beat.

I go, Hey, I can do this. You just see her kind of go Ting! I rolled two 17s. So, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 points. 25 to hit, you mean? 25 points to attack. Yeah, and then And then you're at level 5, you're past level 5, you're at level 9, so you get to roll 2d10. 2d10s, which are these ones, this one. So I'll just roll this twice.

Hitba. Okay. Hitba. That one was hitba. Uh, 6 plus 1 points of damage. 8. Right. Screeches of the fire hits it. The scratch you scratched now has fire, like, in it for a moment. Just really hyping it on there a little bit. Uh, anything else? Nope, that's all I got. That's all I do. Ulua, what are you up to? Uh, as I said before, I'm going to use the feature on my whip that extends its range to 300 feet because I don't know how far away I am from it.

Um, But I am going to try to attack it, um, aiming at its feet, um, and hope that at the same time trying to, like, not, not, well I guess trip it, but aiming mostly to damage its legs based on the condition that it's in, that maybe it'll be able, it'll, like, cripple it. Does that make sense? So less trying to trip, but more trying to cripple.

Physical attack, aiming to cripple? Yeah. Roll to cripple. Roll the, to hit. Okay. Uh, which one, which one? Which way do you want? Uh, I think that'll make it. That was only a

14. You watch as the whip zips by almost hitting the light wall. Oh. Or retracting back to you. It definitely could have reached even further, but it just wasn't aimed adequately. Um, and then I am going to,

uh, is, Seraphine is also not within 60 feet, right? Of you? Um, Seraphine is closer to you. Right, uh, but not within 60 feet of you.

Not quite. That would be a real reach. Okay. So, oh wait, is this considered an action? Let me count again.

Yeah, it's casting a spell, so I guess I can't do that. Um, Okay, I am going to I have borderline, so if you needed that 60 feet It's alright, I'm gonna, um, move, uh, 30 feet. feet towards it in a straight line. Not hard to do straight lines, but I get it. Yeah. Jason, would I know whether or not your wall of light would hurt me?

Like, does it only hurt creatures you intended to hurt? Or does it hurt anybody? Just don't stop in it. Okay, um. The slot technically, it stopped in it that one time and it got damaged, but it technically could just run through it if it wants to. Pat doesn't know that. Yeah. Uh, Gus, it's your turn.

Um, can I have a free action to like, shout at my friends? Yeah. I'm also gonna run up to them, like, as close as I can get to. But then I'm just gonna yell, are we killing it or trying to capture it? Great question.

End it. Okay, I'm gonna do another wall blast. Cool.

Oh, I still have that bardic inspiration. Cool. Which is good.

At least you remembered.

Twenty five. Ten feet shorter on the wall. Bloop.

Eighteen damage.

You all watch as The map just goes away. The creature, these prismatic beings blasting into it, tearing it apart. And there's not much left. There's just the corpse, torn, ripped open. Uh, the green hide is so abused that it's hard to tell the difference between that and the flesh underneath.

And the sloth that was wearing Oxana's skin is dead. And about to get looted. He literally just said there's like nothing left. Um. You can Oh, I'm definitely gonna loot it anyway. I'm gonna like poke around it with my stick. With my staff and dig through the goo looking for treasure. Um. So, I'm gonna I saw him had clothes with pockets laying on the ground over there.

I mean, I am gonna go towards I guess I'm just trying to understand how the transformation works. Like they essentially like shed a skin or. It's a polymorph. So it's truly like the, the, whatever's on them transforms with them. Okay. Sort of situation. So, so they were wearing like a version of Oxana's clothes or it looked like her clothes, but it was the polymorph components.

Okay. But. Uh, go ahead and roll, uh, investigation check, Gus, if you're checking out, trying to figure out what's on there. As he does that, I'm just going to say Buh buh buh buh! Jesus Christ! Buh buh buh buh! Okay, I was going to say roll one d12, but rolled two d12s. As he's doing that, I'm, I'm just going to, uh, like, be listening, and, and saying we can't stay here long.

Buh Roll a perception check. Four and a one. Uh, four is you find a small scroll with symbols in a language you don't know. Um, possibly could be related to what the sloths are up to. And the other is you find an amulet. It's opalescent, set within a twisted metal frame.

Uh, Lua. What'd you roll? Eight. Okay. Oh, we need to leave now. Yeah, I don't, I don't love that screaming that it was doing. Uh, we should go. And with those words, as you say, we should go. The group heads out into the night, and we will find out what happens to them next. Sorry for the longer episode. We had some hiccups as we went, but thank you so much for joining us, and have a wonderful day.

Thank you. For not stealing my pod, find your own pod, and goodbye. And also for like, once, nobody ended up covered in goop! I feel like this is the first battle we've done before! Nobody was covered in goop! I failed. Win. Bye goop! Bye! Bye! Okay, bye!