The Case of the Labyrinth and the Lavatory (1/2)

Download MP3

Welcome adventurers to Probability of Demise, the podcast where critical fumbles meet critical facepalms join us as we delve into the darkest dungeons slay the stupidest gremlins and roll enough ones to make a beholder weep Forget epic storylines and heroic deeds. Here we celebrate the chaotic beauty of bad roles, questionable decisions, and characters with more charisma than sense.

We'll be your dungeon masters of disappointment, guiding you through campaigns where the only guaranteed treasure is a mountain of laughter, and maybe some psychic scarring. So grab your Nat 1 dice, strap on your anxiety helmets, and prepare to witness the glorious trainwreck that is our D&D journey, because In the end, even if your character dies face first into a pile of pudding, at least you'll have the Dice God's permission to laugh your ass off.

Welcome to Probability of Demise Episode 3! If you've watched the first two episodes, you made it through our first little mini arc, and we're about to launch that next one right here, right now, with all the amazingness that is Jess in charge of everything. We're dead! I got really scared for a second. Okay!

Ladies and gents and everything in between and those who have yet to decide, See Um, we are going to learn a word, and in order to do said word, I must roll a d100. Pardon me,

the number is 88. So, number 88 is gregarious, which means fond of company, sociable. And a sentence for this word is that parrots are gregarious and usually fed with love. For, uh, bucks. That's what I got. Word of the day, folks. Okay, so I would love to let you all know that, uh, Jason actually successfully said the last word of the day, ubiquitous, and has inspiration based on that from the last session.

To add to that, when Jason said ubiquitous, I decided on a new word of the day. type of bonus thing. And Jason, this one's special for just you and your character. Okay. Next time you want to get bonus or a, a, a, a, um, a re roll, whatever we want to call this. Ridiculousness? You know somebody, either a prior CI or a prior contact or law enforcement agent who had some solid advice.

And as long as you can articulate that solid advice, you get that bonus based on the ubiquitous use of a ubiquitous word. Gregoriously trolled for everyone.

I'm out. All right. So is that an addition to the D20 or is that the word of the day? Inspirator? That, I think that's what I'm going to do for each of you is as each of you hit one of those ones, I'm going to give you like some story things that you get to make up, whatever it is, you can change the world a little bit with those things, but utilize that power.

irresponsibly. Thank you all for joining us at Probability of Demise. And now we're going to do a quick recap of our adventures and misadventures. So last time, you all set the stage, pun intended, with Overton's underbelly erupting into some dramatic twists and turns. So we're going to rewind and recall the third episode.

thrilling melodies of our last escapade. You all sought out the stage hand who was responsible for the death of the canary, uh, nimble rogue proved a little bit slippery or possibly had others involved in the plots and plans. So like a wisp of smoke from a backstage pyrotechnic, you missed him. Uh, The ruthless henchmen, skulking in the shadows of the rooftops, sought to murder you, but you mortalized them instead.

A sneaky gnome turned the tables, leaving a trail of silenced threats in your wake. Now remember, violence is an option. But consequences linger like a haunting melody. There were some brotherly mysteries brought to light seeking refuge and counsel. You had ventured into Sarafina's family vault, her brother's PI office, and it seemed that Gus had a big fan and that became another of those missing notes in the Overton Symphony.

We do have some unanswered questions. The Skylark troop hangs in a precarious balance. Why is the Watch's gaze absent from the murder of Celeste? And what nefarious dealings weave through the Council's gilded hulls? And where oh where has the elusive stage manager vanished? As the curtain rises on this next act, questions will burn brighter than the Skylark's.

Spotlights. Will Seraphina find her brother? Will sticky beard beak sniff out the truth? And can you expose the web of web of intrigue before the whispers of conspiracy become a deafening deadly roar? We move two weeks into the future and we welcome you back to Probability of Demise.

Zooming in, we come to a house, a house of tranquility and peace, a place where individuals of a particular profession find a refuge. As we come in closer, we see that we're zooming in on a hand and it's a hand we're familiar with slightly. Aloha. What are you writing right now? I guess I would be probably checking in on these two, depending on how much I've seen them in the past two weeks.

I think the majority, I haven't really worked much in my day job since I've been crafting, I guess would be the correct word. The, uh, items we talked about last time. Um, And so, since I kind of absorbed myself in that, I would be writing a correspondence to each to Gus and Seraphina, asking them. How they fare, if anything, you know, if they've had any updates from Sticky Beak about, you know, in terms of the stage manager, et cetera, and then also writing a correspondence to Sticky Beak about the book that we gave him, and if there's anything helpful.

in it that we can act on. As if your very thoughts have summoned this interaction, you hear upon the windowpane of your lovely abode a slight ticking Ah!

Give me that! No, I'm just kidding.

Um, I go and, uh, open the window. Yes, you open the window and one of the familiar paper birds, uh, messengers, for many, but truly a trademark of the Kenku, it seems, it unfolds itself on your palm. And there is a note from Sticky Beak, as if you summoned him with your own correspondence. Reading the note, you see that it says, Oh, Ulua, I hope this sees you well.

I do know I owe you a favor. I might need to be asking to double up on that. It seems I've gotten myself into a situation and could use your help for a bit of release. I could handle this on my own. I I do believe this might be the opportunity I've been looking for to see if you are willing and able to work with the two others that I kind of stuck you with.

I believe your heart is where my heart lies, and this may be the quest for you. And as you read the word quest, the words glow for a moment and rearrange themselves. And you see the text. In the heart of hops where secrets ferment, a hidden doorway awaits your intent. But to pass through you must, knowledge you must bind, of the past the shadows and the curious mind.

For the detective, a witness I stand, silent and cold, Yet whispers of crimes untold I hold. No badge I wear, nor gun by my side, But justice I serve, the truth as my guide. For the spy, I shift and disguise, unseen in the night, Unraveling webs in high moonlight. My whispers can trap, my silence conceal, But loyalty's key will my secrets reveal.

For the tinkerer. In cogs and gears my magic resides, unraveling puzzles where logic subsides. With nimble fingers and sparks in my eye, I unlock mysteries the world passes by. Together your strengths must intertwine, for only when the path be thine. Reveal your professions, speak them with pride, and the way to the meeting room will confide.

She said just put it in our chat. Can you paste that here? I can't type that fast. I was literally just going to ask, please put that in chat somewhere. Oh my god, I literally got it in, in the hearts of hearts. I was like, ah, that's all I got.

Um, yeah, I'm assuming it's a three. I'm trying to be good and take manual notes and I cannot. I probably could have typed it if I was typing, but I could not write that fast. As you re read this set of notes that appeared in front of you, Ulua, you realize that, oh, well, maybe it's time to gather those other two again.

Or not. Maybe you're done with this sticky beak. I don't know. I'm just the sewer trash. Um, I Well, considering I was just, you know, writing it for an update, I, I don't think that I am done with him by any means. Um, I would have, first of all, taking the correspondence that I had started and just kind of crumpled it up and tossed it somewhere, um, probably into, I'm assuming I have a fireplace or something like that.

Um, and then, um. Is there a brewery around in Overton that I know of? There are many.

Okay. Can you tell me what your, besides, uh, a certain place in the Crocside Crowds, is there any place in particular that you have knowledge of that Sticky Beak is connected to? Mmm. Not really, this is, I, I don't usually deal with Sticky Beak directly, so I think any knowledge that I would have of places like this would be limited to venues I visited as a guest of someone, uh, you know, escorting someone, um, As a companion, so not in a Why don't you roll an insight check and it will be with disadvantage based on that descriptor of your relationship.

Awesome.

Oh, that's going to be good. Nine.

Wait, I rolled it with dis, hold on, disadvantage, but I probably can't world worse than that. Hang on. Aw, man. Yep, nine. Uh, yeah, you think about this and you're just like, I, you, all the things you laid out are perfectly true. What is also perfectly true is even the places that you may have frequented with particular individuals who could afford your other services, there are very few that would frequent the types of places that Sticky Beak would ever frequent.

You can't imagine of what you know of Sticky Beak that Sticky Beak goes to some of those societal locations, if it were. But you do know at least one individual who seemed to have a little bit more of a rough edge to them. You have met Gus. Maybe Gus would know. Um, at which point I would then have finished off my, uh, um, correspondence to both Gus and Seraphina, offering for them to come meet me here if they want so that we can, you Puzzle over this.

Ha ha. Uh. As we pan away from Ulua and the notes that she's writing, we come to a area that does not seem to be overton at all. It's forested and beautiful. And Gus, you are walking up to your home after a day of capturing nature?

What do you have in your hands as you're coming up to this space? What do you typically carry with you when you're going and getting new I'd say I just have like a bag that's like full of paint and stuff. It's probably like spilling inside the bag, just like rattling all around because I'm not careful.

And then like, I have uh, an easel, and Like a drying canvas probably So just trudging up the hill to my house with that stuff Where I live out in the woods away from everyone because I'm a hermit as you trudge up to your home Do you care to describe it? Just from the outside. Yeah, it's like Think little cabin a little one room Cabin, there's like a bed in one corner, there's a little wood stove, uh, just very much like old guy, family's all gone, just lives by himself, just chillin out.

Like, there's maybe like a few books laying around, a lot of painting stuff just scattered everywhere, probably very messy. Um, Yeah, just living his best life, hanging out with himself, because he's cool. Aware of the interior of your space, thinking about the, the, the soon to be quick meal, cozy space, relaxation after a long, hard day of capturing the world, you notice something different about your front door.

Tapped on the door is an official looking missive.

I'm gonna go up and just, like, set all my stuff down on the porch and pull the note off the door. As you pull the note off, the tack's kind of really too stuck in. Um, and you see the note. It's written with the typical language of the Overton Council. Um,

looking at it briefly, You can see that there's a lot of, um, legalese, but parsing through it fairly quickly, you were an investigator dealing with a lot of paperwork was not something out of your kin. You come to realize that someone in Overton, probably one of the Ascended has decided that your particular plot of land and the area surrounding it would make a nice floating Island.

And this is an intent to seize your land, if you cannot come up with the funds to stop the claim. Oh no. I see Atland has reached late stage capitalism again, cool, cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, awesome. How much are the funds? You see that it says this would be a thousand gold.

Okay. How long do I have? Um, are you reading it more carefully and figuring these things out? Mm hmm. You look at it, it says, Be it known that the authority vested in us by the Hello, Council. In accordance with the edict of this year, I do hereby declare the seizure of the following property, a rustic cottage constructed of wood and daub and other miscellaneous things, the cottage readily identifiable by the lack of keeping and care and the spewing of fragrant smoke.

This action is taken due to a need to increase the available floating cities. When I read about the pregnant smoke, I stop and let my pipe and smoke that while I'm continuing reading. As, like, that causes a jump skip in the record. Evidence suggests that this aforementioned property has been used for activities that are not in keeping with the overall improvement of Overton.

The Hollow Council shall take possession of the Siege property until such time as the violation is rectified, debts are settled, or the accused, and then it has G'sundan Shnifel. is brought to justice in any attempts to append the seizure or reclaim of property without royal without council sanction will be considered in defiance of the council and be met with appropriate legal action those with any claim to seize property or who wish to contest the seizure may submit a formal appeal and Payment of 1000 gold pieces for all fines Enumerated here within to the just a Car of the Hollow Council.

Within 15 days of missives posting, the appeal must be presented in writing and accompanied with relevant documentation to supporting the claim as well as the funds.

So based on my knowledge of Overton, how much, how much would it cost for some me to have just someone move like magic my house somewhere else? Um. Roll a I'm gonna say that this is an Arcana check.

21.

From what you know, a teleportation of an object of this size is generally around 1, 000 coins. Um, it can be less and your property is fairly small. It depends on if you had any favorite trees or other things that you also wish to transported. But if it was just the structure itself, it'd be probably 1, 000 coins or less.

As you're standing there in front of it, can I have you roll a perception check?

19. Ooh, with a 19. Just holding this irritation growing, you hear other voices. Your neighbors are also other private people. They're not so much neighbors as people at a distance. But you do hear somebody screaming with rage. And then you hear another voice. In another direction, you're not the only one to have gotten one of these missives.

Cool. Okay. I'm gonna go inside, put all my painting stuff away. Uh, maybe in vain try to comb all the paint out of my beard. And like, put on my hat and my coat and go trundle into town. As you exit your cottage, you see a kid sweaty, completely exhausted because they're a runner, they deliver messages and they probably for now on will be very aware that they need to check the address before they run a message because they have run all the way from Palooza's to here.

They hold up a bit of parchment that is now coated in a layer of sweat and dust and continue to hold out their hand.

I will take it and then I will tip them like 10 silver.

You can see their eyes light up at first when you hand them the 10 silver and they look back the way that they have come from. And then they take a deep breath. I'm not fine. And then I'm just going to give him 10 more silver.

Thank you, mister. Thank you. Thank you. And they, you're welcome. Lacking pockets, they cup silver in their hand and they began running off in the distance, like a silver containing Morocco as they run back towards the general direction of the city of Overton getting robbed. Um, yeah, you, you start heading your way into town.

Um, the note from, uh, Lua indicates that she's seeking to meet up with you. She's received a note from Dickey Beak. Seraphina. Hello. What have you been up to lately?

Um, Lately, I have been very divided. My attention is all over the place, which is unlike me, uh, but I feel pulled in a bunch of directions. So very tired, not sleeping much, uh, but I've been trying to find clues on my brother. I have been working on my little box that You know, just still haven't totally decided what I'm going to do with it, but billing it up.

Um, and if and when a job comes for, through my brother's, uh, office, I'm working on that. And there has been an uptick with possible jobs there, but nobody seems to want to pay. Mm. And so there's been a lot of requests, but not a lot of funds to back it up. And at first you're thinking, well, at least this is building exposure.

But what you come to realize is like the, any of the other investigators in the city seem to be booked up with something that's keeping them out of taking these typical run in, walk in sort of requests. Find my pair of slippers. It's not really your gig. But it's also one of those requests that generally would be handled by others.

And I think that probably as you head either to the workshop or to, um, check to make sure your father made it to his last appointment or to another location, you realize that somebody's following you

make out.

I'm gonna, you know, stand up and pretend like I'm very serious and I know what I'm doing. You know, start awkwardly walking to wherever I was going. So hopefully then maybe find an alleyway to like, turn. On to the hide against the wall. Okay. Scare the person. Roll first. Let's have you roll a deception check.

Deception. Deception. No. Different shock. That does investigate.

What about kind of D20? D d d d d deception. Ooh, I like that one. Okay. D d d d deception. Oh, that's good. That's real good. Okay. Skills. Plus one. Unnatural 20. Woo hoo! You can stay out, my friend. Unnatural Unnatural. Un. So it was a 19 plus 1. Okay. Yeah. Uh, great. So you've rolled the deception and now based on that I would like you to roll a stealth, we're going to call it a stealth check, but really it's a, I got you check to see how sneakily you're able to turn that corner and set yourself up for the surprise.

Surprise. Surprise.

Uh, 16. Beautiful. Cool. You pull off the walk, you pull off the move, you slip off into an alleyway, and you hear a, Oh shit, I missed her. And coming around the corner is a young, Cragside kid. You can always tell them by the, the tattoos that they seem to have. Um, little bioluminescent dolphin, uh, coming up over their neck.

And with a couple of bubbles going up their cheek. And they come around the corner. Oh shit, where'd she go?

Sigh. Okay. Um, as he's looking around, I'm going to, uh,

Sneak up behind his back and then like pop my head around his little shoulder. And go, Ah! Oh! Shit! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah, yes! Ah! Oh, shiitttttt! Hi! I have a note for you, ma'am! Um, Oh, god, I think I peed myself! Oh, boy! And the kid just kind of looks down at his trousers, dry, but definitely a sense of having lost all control for a possible microsecond, which could have landed them in a little bit of a Urinary tract infection situation.

Um, why didn't you just come give it

to me? Why did you have to be all sneaky sneak? Because, you know, that's how you do things. Well, uh, you need to practice more. Oh, well. You gotta go sneaky sneak. And hide behind something and go, Sneaky sneak! And then hide behind something else. Can you show me how to do that? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you, I got you.

And then I'm gonna, uh, Do I have anything fun that shows that I'm actually somewhat good at this, but not like super good at this? Let's see. I love that you're like, tutoring a kid on the street. Okay. I don't. So I'm going to just be like, I want to try to like, be like, okay, so walk down this little alley and, uh, no, cause then you wouldn't see what I'm doing.

Okay. Just, just watch. And I want to just like, try to do the motions of if I was following someone, but trying to. you know, actually like sneak and watch them like I would while investigating. Yeah, okay, go ahead and I want you to roll a stealth check to see how successful you are at this. They are watching you, so they're gonna roll with advantage on their own, like, seeing you, but just see how performative Well, I want them to see me.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Uh, I'm on the wrong thing. I think it's a plus three.

Yeah. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Plus three. Nineteen. This is a good die. Larissa, I think you gave me this. Oh, there you are. Can you do that again? And, um, I would just love you to roll a performance check to show, cause you're really trying to show him. Okay. Natural 20.

Plus one. So 21. This is awesome. Thanks, ma'am. Make your note. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. And not even asking for the customary coins for messenger work, kid just turns and zips away. Um, and you see I just yell after him. Sneaky snake! Sneaky snake! When you say sneaky snake, you see him like dodge behind a barrel.

And roll a perception check. Uh, perception. Yeah. Oh, not great. 11, 12, 13, 14. You see them dodge behind the barrel and then quietly they're like sneaking along the wall, but they're doing the full like flat shadow effect on the wall as they try to sneak.

You're getting there!

Thumbnail that you had in, in your, back in your direction. I go, letter, letter, uh, letter. I open it up, put my glasses on. Okay, let's see. Um, Alou, unless there's anything else, this is just directions to meet up. Where are they meeting you? They can come to my place.

Uh, at the, at the thought of being able to go to her place, she blushes a little, she's like,

She tries to like lick her hands and wipe off some of the dirt. Yes, okay, let's go. All right, uh, Gus and Seraphina, uh, is there anything you have to do before you get to Ulua's place? Do I know a lawyer? I'm assuming I know many of them from my long. Oh yeah. You definitely know. I mean, based on your past, your background.

Yeah. Yeah. I think first I'm going to stop at a trusted lawyer's house and ask them to look at the letter. Awesome. Um, you do know somebody, um, and you know, the legal profession here isn't the most lucrative of professions, but you know, somebody who, um, Keeps an office near the docks, um, between the hall of council and the docks.

It's a fairly lucrative space dealing with trade agreements and such like that. So they're on the up and up, um, and they haven't defended terrible criminals. So you feel pretty solid that they're of good people. Um, so I think that combination really like, that's probably why you choose them. Um, and they promised to review the, the, the notes or anything in particular you wanted to ask them or just to review that.

Um, just, I guess, to review the first, the legality of it. And also, um, I guess if there's Any kind of way to get out of paying a thousand gold or to keep my land without having to submit or To help my neighbors just like generally You know, how how legitimate is this thing? Is this something they can actually do?

um, which at this point gus is basically feeling like there's not much he can do because you know He's well aware that rich people are not subject to the same laws as everyone else So if they're going to take it, they're probably just going to take it. But um You Yeah. So. Could I have you roll a persuasion check?

Persuasion.

17.

Um, I think that the lawyer takes it and, and they, they're, they leave you with the impression afterwards, not to RP this out or anything like that, uh, that they have an idea about what to do. Yeah. Okay. And. It does take you aback for a moment because you kind of thought that they would just say, this isn't worth pursuing, or like, you're not going to make this.

But something about how they just take it, and I would like you to roll an insight check if you would like to, but they do take it and they seem to be really Five. Aw. Um, you're just not sure, like, are they money grubbing or something? They didn't ask for money, there. Like, they're an up and up lawyer, but they do need to make money, but they didn't ask for funds.

Okay. But they seemed a little bit more eager than normal.

Someone smells a class action lawsuit, that's what's going on.

All right, then from there, I'll go, uh, to Alua's place. Awesome. So you all head over, uh, Alua, have you set anything up? Like, they're, they're coming. Um, they didn't send you a note ahead to RSVP necessarily, but you kind of picked up that that's the general vibe of this group. It's not abnormal people at the station in life that they all seem to be from.

Um, I would just set out, you know, a general, like, a little kind of tea. Situation, um, in the common area on the 1st floor. Um, A couple of different types of snacks, and Snack! Get some tea ready, but otherwise

So, I think you just hear the knock on the door. Gus and Seraphina, who do you think comes in first? It's up to the lawyer, so probably Seraphina, if she went first. Seraphina, you arrive. Knock on the door, Alua. Alua? Welcome! Welcome, come on in. Oh, hello! Hello again! Hello! Hi. Just so you know, we, there's, you know, there's, there's a few of us here.

We're quite a gregarious bunch, so there's, uh, going to be people coming through. Wait, what? Hmm? What? There's, there's, I, I don't live alone. No, you used a big word. Gregarious? Gregarious. Yeah, that one. I don't know what that is, so I was just confused for a second. Uh, by nature, it usually, those of our profession require us to be a little bit more social than others.

Ah, okay, okay. Uh, what do you, what, and I'm like walking in, what, uh, what exactly do you do? Oh, we are com share. Com, com share. Com share. Yes, we are companions. We, we are entertainers. We are, um, we are, um, Partners of the night. We are, she just starts to blush. We have many talents and, you know, uh, though the talents between, uh, from Comsha to Comsha are very varied.

And so, um, we are, Those people seek us out for our company for a variety of reasons, events, situations. As, uh, Ulua has been describing this, you hear laughter bouncing off of some exposed brick wall punctuated by a rhythmic clicking of, shoes, possibly. And then you also hear from a different corner of a low murmur of voices that have seemed to have the same calm and sophistication that Ulua has.

And then as you hear that, you also hear the faint strains of music being played on an instrument of some type before a towering individual comes forward adorned gown of the Feathers. Each feather seems to have been gilded. Uh, and as they come down a set of stairs and they, Oh, Lua, lovely to see you. I am out for an evening of earnings, my final for the week.

And this individual just adorned in so many feathers, you can't even see their face, uh, opens the door, ducks low and exits from the, uh, Snail shell style building and a carpet slips down in front of them, uh, the, the driver, a crusty looking little gnomish individual, uh, saying, Ah, off, off to up are we, eh, eh, good to drive you again.

She, this individual just feathers kind of like seeming to. unendingly fall from their outfit, steps onto the carpet, standing the entire time, not sitting or anything. Uh, the, the outfit endangered should they have sat. And they zip up into the sky, headed towards one of the, uh, floating buildings.

As you stand there in shock, and the Lua just stands there enjoying your space. Individual, clad in some rumpled shirt and trousers, comes flopping in, sits down on a couch at the entryway, and he's just like, Ah, you're gonna introduce us? It's another resident. Uh, I would believe you'd be quite capable of introducing yourself.

Ah, but that's not as much fun as getting an introduction. I'm Seraphina. Oh, lovely. Here, let me introduce you the proper way. And, they, Alua, um, roll an insight check. With advantage, because you know this person.

I rolled a four and a two! I think that in this moment, you're like, I know that the proper way isn't exactly the most proper, but then as you're having that thought and you're kind of watching the expression on Seraphina's face, this kind of innocent to the world individual, uh, you don't act in time or say anything in time before Seraphina.

You are drawn in for a kiss.

Ain't nothing compared to an Oklahoma hello. She's just like very still.

Well, it's lovely to meet you. Jessi, is that really necessary? Oh, but it was, it was, you bringing in a baby here. Yes, but not, not as her eyes like welt up as this is happening. As that happens, you, Gus arrives. Oh, and another one. Did I see that happen as I was like coming in? Uh, roll a perception check.

I think that was my first kiss. Does that count? I looked at Alula while he's rolling. 30 20. Uh, yes, you saw it happen. Uh, frankly, uh, Seraphina, my dear, I believe it has to be consensual on both parties for it to count. And I give Jezzy a hard stare, and I say, that is not how. We among the elevated, Comeshare, behave, is it?

I'm still learning. I'm still learning. Let me just say hello to this individual who's just arrived. And they go towards you, Gus. If you kiss me, I will magic mischel you.

And this is why they have those rules. Oh, well. I'll grow, I'll learn. I'm new ish to this profession. They fix their hair a little bit, their rumpled clothes still, like, kind of, like, bagging out from their body a bit, and then I apologize, young one. No, it doesn't count. Never counts unless it's your first, you know.

Would you like your first? I don't, I don't know. Tessie, quit teasing. Move along. Ugh, fine, would you like some nuts? Because apparently somebody didn't bring the nuts last time. And she starts to walk out the door but she leaves a lingering look to you, Ulua.

You know the kind she likes. Yes, I do. Sent on an errand because someone else forgot. Well, she knows perfectly why I didn't end up getting the chance to get them. Yes, yes, yes. All of your hush hush things and whatever that is I don't have a care about, I'm sure. But to the nightlife I go. Toodles! Lovely to meet you, I'm sure.

Hello, people. And as Jesse leaves Hello again. Let me apologize for my roommate. She's somewhat of, uh, a mentee, but all of us who abide here, uh, are independent. But those of us with more experience, experience are, uh, you know, inclined to assist when our expertise is sought, but as they say, you can only bring or lead a horse to water.

So I turned to Seraphina and I. She's just wiping her face like, I don't know what that is. I do like the deepest of curtsies and I say I'm so very sorry if she caused you any distress. Please disregard her behavior and know that it is entirely, uh, not a reflection on you or anything that you, um, have, have done or, or said.

Her lips were very soft and she smelled like honey.

Well, I'll be sure to pass along. Positive to what? Roll of wisdom Saving throw. Oh, God said. Uh, you provide feedback. Two. So, 10, 11, 12.

Uh, with a 12. You make the wisdom save. Uh, it is. There's a moment of like, what you think of as a teenage crush, like this new thing has happened to you. Like you've had crushes before, but now it's like, wait, that's so silly and you're able to push it aside. And as you're able to push it aside and you realize that something was magically induced in that.

Um, Lua,

where do you take them to have your conversation? If anything, or what, where, what are you doing? Describe what's happening. Um, well, um. Since our profession is one of its core principles is discretion. I don't have any concerns about my roommates. eavesdropping or passing along information. So we sat down right in the, it's like a living area, so living room.

Um, and I say, I've, I, um, I wasn't sure what you liked. So I put together an assortment of various things. little noshes and some tea because I didn't know if anybody would prefer that or perhaps liquor or anything along those lines. Um, we have a variety as we, you know, we host often. Um, But only, uh, on the floor level.

And we don't, um, we don't have clientele upstairs. We are, that is a, we come to you rule in this house. As you even say this, you see some individuals as they're registering to the food and the place to sit and everything. You see an individual, um, their face kind of drawn with exhaustion, walking in, they look to Alua, says, may I?

Of course. Let me grab a couple of. snacks from the table before walking in the direction where the music is coming from. Their eyes close as they go.

Make sure you get plenty of rest. Yes, yes. Your health is most important. Thank you, my love, and all. I'm just gonna go listen to Celia. Thanks. Sounds like a plan. You three are alone, for the most part, besides the random wanderers by. So, I Did you, either of you, receive any other notes by chance other than mine?

Not from Stickybeak, no. Okay. No, I just got yours. As she's like, all the tea, like, snacking on the floor.

You don't have to sit on the floor. And I gesture to some, like, very comfy pillows that are like, you know, what you would see in sort of like a Mediterranean or like Middle Eastern setting. Like you could sit on the floor, but still comfortable. And But I, and I kind of like gestured to my dirty clothes.

I'm a little, um, sootsy. That's all right, my dear. Trust me. Everything, every form of cloth that we have here is definitely washable. Okay. I go and I sit down,

adding stuff to my plate as I go. So. I'm going to go like sit on a pillow. Kind of awkwardly.

So, I received this. earlier today, and I believe, well, I mean, I know it's from our friend, and I believe it pertains to possibly a next, uh, steps or favor that they are asking of us as a group. Um, but it seems to be written in a little bit of, um, a riddle of sorts that I could certainly use your help with.

It's usually. My intermediary between StickyBeak and myself, uh, they usually decode these kind of things, but this one came directly to me. So I am enlisting your help. And I believe that there's a section dedicated to each of us and an opening section that is for all of us. So your insight would be greatly appreciated.

And I, uh, move one of the small plates aside and I put down the I'll stand up and I'm going to lean over the

magnifying glass to I can start to read through it and put on my glasses and lower one of my magnifying glasses. I can do that too. Sounds like we need to go to a brewery. What do I know about Sticky Beak and his breweries? Roll a insight check. His breweries, their breweries. What are Sticky Beak's pronouns?

Because I'm not sure we said. Um, they shift a bit, so they, them usually, but, uh, just cause that's the space to go, but that you will occasionally hear them refer to themselves masculine and femininely. I'm sorry. What was that last? You will hear a sticky beak refer to themselves either in a masculine or feminine form at times.

Okay. Remind me what I was rolling again. Insight. Uh, 18, 18, um, I think with an 18, you know, sticky beak to be one who's more into metaphor. Uh, and so while things like going to a brewery vat or to a place where hops are made, um, based on the, the, the line of in the heart of hops. you know that this is someone who prefers the metaphor.

And so the heart of hops might more represent a place where the soul and passion of brewing is placed. Um, and then you add in the component about the secret knowledge and you know that hops have not only been used for brewing, but also for herbal remedies and even some magical lore. So those two combined, combined, uh, and You do a little bit of local knowledge math and you know that down on the edge of the cobblestone commons, there is a, um, there's a brewery.

It is a brewery sort of, it's an alchemist style brewery where they play with magical infusions of drink. And that this place has become, um, well regarded for training brewers.

Okay.

I think, I think I know this place. Um, there is, uh, Alchemist's Brewery Training Center in Cobblestone Commons that we should visit. Perhaps, check out. Can I Do like a, uh I guess I guess it would be like an investigation kind of a role, to see like if there is any like You know, hold it up to a light to see if, if there's another message or if there's like a, you know, if you fold it, well, words appear kind of a thing.

So let's roll an investigation check to start off. Investigation. Come on, baby. Plus where'd you go? Oh, there. So, 17. 17. Amazing. Uh, with a 17, you fold it, and, uh, Gus and Alua, you watch as, as Seraphina starts playing with it, trying to fold it and do different things. Um, and, Uh, Seraphina, as you fold it so that only a witness I stand silent and cold is visible, just that section, that, that limerick, uh, is visible, you see a, um, magnifying glass symbol is formed by the paper itself.

And which word section is that again? A witness I stand, silent and cold, yet the whispers of crimes untold I hold. No badge I wear, nor gun by my side, but the justice I serve, with truth as my guide. And the paper makes a magnifying glass. Yes, the shape of the paper makes a magnifying glass. Heh, cool. I hold it up and I go, uh, here you go, I hand it to Gus.

I will look at it. You see the section that I just spoke is shaped when it's only visible as a magnifying glass.

Yeah, so if you hold the, yeah, if you hold them both up, you'd have double magnifiers. Paper magnifier that doesn't function in a magnifying glass on the end of your staff. Yep. Okay, I will hand it back to Seraphina. Oh, thanks. Don't know what I was supposed to do with it. Did you use the magnifying glass on it?

I did. Burt didn't say anything. Oh, okay. Does that mean anything to you? Uh, can I do like a history thing to like see if My past knowledge of sticky beak and a magnifying glass, would it mean anything? Go ahead. They're like, nope. It means nothing.

Okay, um, history. Um, I correct,

hey, uh, GM, is, is Lady Justice a thing in this world? Sure, whatever you make up for you, if, if you just said Lady Justice and make it a thing in this world, you now have a god of justice, so. More about like, thinking like the statue. With the, you know, like, in our real world, like, with the law book and the, I don't know exactly what it's holding, but there's like a lady justice statute in a world of gods.

There's definitely going to be a God associated with that if it is created. So just be aware.

So, I would like to think if. I guess near that brewery alchemist place, if there is some sort of statue or temple or something that would coincide with. That passage. At a long stretch, you could say that one of the Ascendant temples that are sort of ish nearby could be, but they're pretty far away. At an even longer stretch, you could actually talk about the actual temples of the gods.

Um, but it's a stretch. Okay. Um, Seraphina? There's nothing connected in that, that you're able to. I do think we should go find this door and then these other passages will make sense.

Sorry. Um, okay. Sounds good. Do we, are we going to together? Like right now?

Free. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And as I stand up, Seraphina just starts putting crackers and things in her pockets. Would you, would you like me to put a little something for you to take with, together? What? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Pulls out a little cracker from her jacket. Puts it back.

Are you sure? I don't know. No, no, I'm ready to go. All right. Ready to go. Um, okay. I'm just, let me just. Clear our places a little bit in case anybody else needs to use the room. Um, and I'll be ready to go in five minutes. And, uh, I'll help. I'll help. Don't you worry your pretty little head. You stay here.

This is, this is part of what I do. Please just enjoy the, what you have left on your plates and I will be right back. Uh, and I pick up the, uh, whatever, plates and tea and everything. And I do make, put together like a little to go box for Seraphina and I like tie it with a ribbon. So have you, have you left the, uh, little, uh, note folded up in the magnifying glass form?

Um, I would have been playing with it some more while waiting. Okay. Definitely. How have you been playing with it? Ah, I feel like I'm supposed to be Doing something with the magnifying glass itself. You can see that the magnifying glass isn't in a perfect shape for a magnifying glass, but it is only highlighting the one stanza in this current configuration.

Maybe what would be relevant to you? What would be relevant? To be me. Um. Uh, perhaps a, a gear or a tool? Gear, a tool. Oh, a tool! Oh, maybe I can. I mean, I'm not very good at folding paper. Um, yeah. Okay, well, this is glass. My goggles have glass. Maybe I can fold it into, like, something that looks like my glasses.

As you play and fold it and, and refold and unfold and refold and unfold, eventually you do get to the shape of a set of your goggles, or just goggles in general. And, as you get to that shape, the only stanza that can be read is, In cogs and gears my magic resides, unraveling puzzles where logic subsides.

With nimble fingers and sparks in my eye, I unlock the mysteries the world passes by. I just hold it up to Gus. Oh! Oh! Oh! What

does it say? This line. I will take it and read the line about the tinkerer. In cogs and gear, my magic resides. Unraveling puzzles where logic subsides. With nimble fingers and sparks in my eye, I unlock mysteries the world passes by. Hm. I'll hand it back to her. Does that make any sense to you? No. But it looks like my goggles.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, ah! Like comparing them to my goggles, special properties. I mean, I put 'em on my face and I'm like, I can do this. And I like put down all the magnifying things. Ha, I'm gonna hold up my magnifying glass right at the end of it. Like, oh wait, maybe let me look at it magnifying. So I'm gonna , I'm gonna with my glasses on and all my little magnifying bits.

I'm gonna look at the paper more, see if I see anything else with my fancy glasses, looking at the glasses. Roll a perception check with advantage. 22. Oh great, with a 22 you can see as you kind of like play with it and fold and unfold the piece of paper, um, you can see there are some faint, faint fold lines that you have not actually folded it to yet.

You can see the fold lines that led to the magnifying glass and the fold lines that led to the goggles, but there's another set of fold lines. Am I able to follow those fold lines? To see what it creates, seeing as I don't know Alua great enough to assume a symbol or a thing. Roll a dexterity check to see if you're successful, or if you tear the paper.

Okay! Dexterity. Okay, that's one. That's my thing. Yeah!

That's good. I saw the whole message, didn't I? Okay. Uh, 12. You fold and fold and every time you think you might be getting there, you feel a crunch as it starts to rip and you stop yourself. You can't quite seem to fold it and figure out whatever this last symbol would be.

I'm going to unfold it so that it's just normal, like, paper. There. There. And tell Gus to be like, I, I think it folds into something else. I can't, I can't really figure it out though. Are all of the passages visible, but it's just like unfolded. And then if you fold it into the thing, it just highlights the one.

Okay. So

I'm not sure how much it matters. I didn't see anything extra.

Perhaps it doesn't matter if we fold it more. Maybe. I'd love to figure out what the other thing is, though. Or how many more there might be. One for me, one for you. So, possibly something for Allure? Maybe it's, nevermind, she blushes a little.

Nope, you gotta say it now.

Well, you're not there, so you can't say that. No, I'm just saying, Larissa's saying you have to say it now. Oh, for Larissa, she was thinking maybe it's an hourglass because she's And you say that out loud, or no? No, because, no, I'm saying it to you, just so you know, but like Seraphina wouldn't say it out loud.

Seraphina starts to say it, and then she's like, uh, mm, mm, mm.

I don't know what it could be. I don't know. Are you okay? What? Yeah. Are you sure? You seem a little lusted.

I'm just, that's my, my greenness got darker. Your what? Your greenness got darker? Oh, right. Seems completely like the truth. So you're not, you have a different colorness than I do. So you just don't know how things look on me, but uh, she'd, she'd understand. I did spend a hundred years interrogating people.

I kind of know. Yeah, but I'm a master of deception. I see. I see. I see. Good to know. My brother trained me very well, so I don't know. Consider me deceived. Very well. See? As

we know, no one is deceived. Uh, I will say that we should close right here for this session. We will reopen at the Bruiniversity next time on Probability of Demise. Oh, no. Okay. Thank you so much for joining us. I hope you have a beautiful day. Find your own pod. Like us. Like, subscribe. Like, subscribe. Like, subscribe.

Like, subscribe. Uh, I don't have that. probabilityofdemise.com Okay, bye. Okay, Byeeeeeeee. Byeeeeeeee..

Creators and Guests

Jason McDowell
Host
Jason McDowell
Jason is a writer, marketing professional, MCU addict, and geek culture enthusiast. He holds an MFA in Creative Writing - Fiction from The New School in New York City, where he lives with his wife Larissa and their two dogs.
Jessica Lynne Becker
Host
Jessica Lynne Becker
Jessica is an actor, singer, and dancer by trade. She graduated from William Peace University, formally known as Peace College, with a B.F.A in Musical Theatre with a concentration in dance. Some of her favorite credits include Grease, Mamma Mia, Rock of Ages, CATS, Oklahoma, Spring Awakening and Cabaret. Jessica is currently a EMC Member with Actors Equity.
Larissa Flint
Host
Larissa Flint
Larissa Flint McDowell is a singer, actor, and instrumentalist located in New York City. She can be seen regularly performing with Melodia Women's Choir of NYC and the Stonewall Chorale, as well as the occasional cabaret and theater workshop.
Rurik Nackerud
Host
Rurik Nackerud
Rurik loves art, drawing maps, sailing and games. Currently a content manager developing a massive digital curriculum for teachers of young children, Rurik aspires to a quiet analog life writing stories and games with friends.
The Case of the Labyrinth and the Lavatory (1/2)
Broadcast by