Probability of Demise

Welcome adventurers to Probability of Demise, the podcast where critical fumbles meet critical facepalms. Join us as we delve into the darkest dungeons, slay the stupidest gremlins, and roll enough ones to make a beholder weep. Forget epic storylines and heroic deeds, here we celebrate the chaotic beauty of bad roles, questionable decisions, and characters with more charisma than sense.

We'll be your dungeon masters of disappointment, guiding you through campaigns where the only guaranteed treasure is a mountain of laughter, and maybe some psychic scarring. So grab your nat 1 dice, strap on your anxiety helmets, and prepare to witness the glorious trainwreck that is our D and D journey.

Because, in the end Even if your character dies face first into a pile of pudding, at least you'll have the Dice God's permission to laugh your ass off.

Hi, welcome to Probability of Demise. It's a podcast where we play games and roll dice and things happen. Let's see what happens in the story today. Word of the Day! This is my segment. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. Ha ha ha! Well, da da da da! Hello again, Adventurers, and welcome to the Word of the Day. Um, today we're going to yet again dive into the mystical realms of language, uh, to discover a new word that will help in your daily quests to make you sound smart ical.

Uh, today, I've once again drilled a magical yet again cold D 100 that Jason got for me. Uh, that sounded like Blue's Clues. I was just gonna say that! No! Um, uh, today, I rolled Believe it or not, let me trifle check that we have not used this number because now I'm scared. We have not. A 58. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. I know.

Crazy. Wasn't last time a 50s and everything. You're just going to work your way in. It was. I didn't mean to. It just happened. Uh, today's word is kinesis. Which means, uh, it's the, the part of your spine, uh, of your back that you just, you can never quite reach to scratch. Um, what is it called? What is it called?

Acnestis. Alright. It is spelled, do do do do, uh, da da da. A C N E S T I S. Today, with the sentence, uh, great sentence, sentence. The dragon stretched lazily, trying to scratch the acnestis between its massive wings, but even with its long tail, the itch remained just out of reach. Nice!

Can I, can I, can I drop a random fact about random that I learned on QI last night? No, about random. Randomness. Okay. So, Spotify, the shuffle, the random feature, when it first started out, they had, it was actually, to random because it would sometimes end up playing the same song more than one time in a row, which was true random.

So then they actually had to modify the, the algorithm so that it's less random. Kind of. So that it doesn't play. Mostly. Sometimes accidentally played the same song twice, twice or three times in a row. So, fun fact. Thank you, QI. And thank you to our sponsor, Spotify. No, just kidding. That's fine. That would be super cool.

Hey, Spotify. We'll take it for sure. That would be, honestly, that would be such a generative experience. Wow. Last time, in the aftermath of your intense conversation with Ms. Brand, the party has found themselves standing in the library, uh, surrounded by some books on the ignat IGNOMATIC SLAD, Slade. The weight of the revelations hang heavy in the air as you contemplate the implications of an organized Slade presence within the City Watch.

Some of you may even think about familiar faces within those ranks and realize that those may take on an even more sinister hue and you wonder about any subtle changes of behavior and mannerisms that have occurred and What sort of doubts might place on their true intentions? With the knowledge that you truly cannot trust anybody in authority, you realize that you must take matters into your own hands.

Your next step is clear. You should investigate the tavern in Underton that Grand had been visiting in secret. And it is a place steeped in whispers and secrets, a hub of knowledge and deals where the truth is traded like a currency. And as you prepare for this Venturing into the Den of Intrigue, grappling with the realization that you're no longer just solving a murder.

The stakes have been raised and the fate of the entire city hangs in the balance. You must navigate the treacherous waters of deception and chaos, all while staying one step ahead of the Sled and their puppeteers.

Armed with your newfound knowledge and a determination to uncover the truth, let us watch as the party sets off on their next chapter. Are you ready for the challenges that lie ahead? And will they be able to outwit the Slot and expose their infiltration?

I do have a question. Yeah. Or at least, not, I guess to not retroactively, uh, or to retroactively have looked up this information while we had access to those books. You're that, you're still in the library. Oh, okay. I wanted to, uh, I would like to see if I, if there are ways to test if someone is a slot besides just like guesswork, like holy water with vampires or silver bullet, like something like that.

Something that I could like set up so that. If I, you know, hypothetically wanted to test whether someone was themselves, uh, I could do so. Uh, sure. Why don't you roll, uh, well, actually, first off, this will change the DC a bit, but how long would you all spend in the library doing this research in general?

Originally, I was just planning to take some of these books with me, so I didn't, like, read them during downtime. You could also take the books with you, Uh, just keep in mind that the day in which Brand was meeting with them is the next day. So any research you do in the interim, whether it's, uh, during downtime of a 24 hour period, let's say, or, uh, something else, um, or even just staying right in here and finishing it up or, or whatever, you know, you could all just take it to a different location and dig through the books and such, whatever you would all like to do.

But there's quite a hefty. Bunch of them. So maybe let's start off. Uh, if you're going to relocate with the books, let's start off with picking out some of the texts to bring with you. How many books are there? There are 27 different tomes, some of more or less use depending on what would the total weight of all those tomes be?

And I'm so sorry, while you're looking at this, I, I was, um, I got, I got weird internety things. Um, where, where are we that we're taking books? We're still in brands. We're still in Library. Library. And we're just taking her books. She, I asked if I could borrow them and she said yes.

I feel like you said at the end of the last session, can we use those? Not can we. I asked if she had any and I said I asked if I could borrow them. Oh, I don't remember that. Uh, what is 250 divided by two? 1 25. Five. Thank you. Not in 25 pounds. Okay, so I'm gonna leave a note with the titles of all the books that I took on her desk.

I'm gonna take all 27 books in my book holding. Okay, great. And then I will work on reading them. As we go along, and share with my friends if they want them. I would like to see if I can find a book, like, within those 27 before he takes them. So he would be only taking 26. That's most likely to hold the answer to the question that I ask.

Yeah, that makes sense. So, why don't you, um, You don't get all the books, butthead. I'm taking them for all of us. Yeah, but we don't always stay together in downtime. If you want books when we split up, then let me know.

Ulua, please roll a, um, perception check just to see if you can spot one that the title jumps out at you. I'm gonna turn to Roll a d27. My very perceptive friend, uh, Seraphina, and say, Can you help me find, look for a book that would Uh, help us be able to tell whether someone's a sloth, like some sort of test, or, um, maybe a material, or, like, something, you know what I mean?

Yes, I do. Let me have a look. You roll, I roll. Because my, my, uh, I only got a 16?

And this is a perception? Yeah. Let's see. Twenty,

uh, twenty two.

Thank you for your help. And I'm gonna go, like this one? If it, if, if it If I'm unable to find it. If you met the DC.

Is this like the DM version of dominating from the bottom?

I was just watching this all play out and being like, okay, it wasn't that high a DC to begin with. Y'all have taken it so far. It's great. You gotta hedge your bets where you can. You Ulua, Seraphina holds up this book and you're looking at the cover and it is a horrific depiction of a Egg being implanted inside of someone and then transforming into what you can only think of as like a tadpole or some sort of other phase and then

becoming that individual.

And you see that there are listed a dichotomous key of various slotty types. And you think, well, if anything is going to have it, this awful book is going to have it.

Well, that's a terrifying It's not the type of cover you want to flash in public. Yeah. Um, I'll take that one and put that in my Um, you can read the title as you put it into your pack and it says the definitive source for the birth and transformation of the Slot D.

Slot D for Demis. The first 12 months. What to expect when you're expecting a Slot D. Oh, no. Oh, I hate that so much. No.

All right. So, uh, you head off somewhere together or what, what, like, I just need to know what you're gonna do during this 24 hour period. We can be quick about it or we can get into details, but I would love to know what we're gonna do. It does sound like there's gonna be some research done, but if there's any additional readings of any sort that anybody's getting up to or other activities, I would love to get that and we can move through.

How many, how many of 26 slide books can I read in 20 in. I guess like 16 hours because I'm gonna sleep at some point. Yeah, if you're going to dig in deep and really go for it. Um, and, and you could, if you're skimming, you could probably roll an intelligence check and we'll decide, let the dice decide. Oh yeah, I am smart smr, T or S-M-A-R-T.

Did you take the lucky feat?

Did I? I don't think I did. You talked about it. That's the only reason I'm asking. Um, no. Dammit. That is a four. Five. Five. I do math. So five. Um, So in the course of this, uh, My eyes are going. You, you, You can probably get through like Four of them, if you like, really intently study them. Um, or you could get through 10 if you're kind of just skimming and flipping pages, which will just change the dcs on what you're picking up.

Um, I'm gonna assume there's a lot of, a lot of overlap in what's contained in these books. So I'm gonna go with four very thorough reads, over 10 scams. Okay. Is anybody else joining, uh, I know Ulua has a separate book, but does anybody else joining Gus in the research? Seraphina, are you joining in that research work or are you doing other things?

Um, I actually want to, um, I can be with Gus if he wants company, but I want to, um, fix my, my little golem dude, my big golem dude. If that only takes you an hour, that only takes you an hour of downtime. So yeah. Oh, then, um You just need to do it. Um, and, okay, so then, I want to What do I want to do? I want to

go hang out with my dad. That's what I want to go do. Be with my family. So, you're going to leave Gus behind after fixing your tool and go hang out with your family? Correct. Okay. Bye, Gus. And leave. If you need anything, let me know. Oh, wait, before we leave the library I would like to establish a password, like a secret phrase or something between the three of us.

In case somebody in the slot imitates one of us, or a shapeshifter does. I'm gonna pretend that you say that as Gus, and I'm gonna say, They'll have our memories. Really? Do they? I'm almost positive they have our memories. Which is how they're able to imitate. They don't have necessarily mannerisms, but they have memories.

I'm almost sure. Well, I guess we'll read some of these books and find out. Yes. If that's not the case, then sure. Maybe,

I Scuttlebutt will be the word. If we need it. Scuttlebutt. If we can use it, Scuttlebutt, you got it. Hehehe, I got everyone to say butt. Deh!

Not me! Um,

Okay, anyway, what are you doing, Alilla? Now I'm not sure I was going to ask y'all to come with me to help see if I mean, I can go. Axana is a slot, but it's okay. Maybe we don't want to do that. I mean, I can do that. No, no, no, no, we, I guess that can be a fight for another day. I feel like we could eat more easily.

Tell if she's a slot after we read some of the books. I understand. No, I get it. Okay. That's fine. Um, I don't disagree. Um,

Rick, if I, I'm just trying to figure out based on, uh, from last campaign with like the, the shovel. Um, is the whip something I can attune with more? Or have I attuned as much as I can tune? Um, are you spending any moments thinking about the whip? I mean, I, if I feel like I've exhausted the relationship with it, then, or I've like maximized my relationship with it, then Roll a religion check.

Oh, she's so religious. I can't see. That's not gonna go well.

Eleven! Eleven! Um. Told you it wasn't going to go well. You feel this, the power of this tool comes not so much from any sort of interaction you're having with it. Directly, but your faith in the God it represents. Mmm, gotcha. Okay. Um, I guess in that case, what I might do is I might go Is Tanzanite's temple still available?

Oh yeah, it's always available. Well, I just Always burying people. Cremating them. Macabre thought. Valid, but macabre, you know, death, taxes, two things true in life. Um, uh, then I would like to go to the temple first and then I will go to Augustus. Cool. Um, I will say this, that the whip, um, If anything, just not, not even, if, not even to necessarily achieve anything with the whip, but more to just kind of, I guess, get on that level.

Cause Ulua's really not, she's, she's aware of religions, but she's not really religious. She was, she was, uh, She's tossed around so much as a kid that she didn't really, and I don't mean necessarily physically. I just mean transient as a kid that she wasn't really in anywhere or with anyone for long enough to have them instill a specific set of goals.

It's like when you throw a baby in the air, but then someone else steps in to catch it. She's tossed around. I totally understand that experience in a way that I would probably never have. Wish that was not true. Um, So, Ulua, could you roll another religion check as you're there at the temple? Well, we're not gonna go through the details of this because, honestly, this is the initial phases anyway.

So, um, but I would like for you to roll that and then

That's a nat 1.

You get cremated.

You trip and fall into the crematorium. How, how interested are you, Ulua, in Tanzanite as a deity in general? Like not aware that this, this artifact has a relationship with Tanzanite. I mean, I, I either heard or like felt something, right. When I attuned with it. So,

I'm, like,

I'm curious, but I'm also scared, but I'm like, I think there's like a movie, that's a good movie reference, but, um, I can see it in my head, but I don't know what it's from. But like, someone goes to a church and is just like, long time fan or not, not like that in this case, but like first time caller, like, uh, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do, but I think, I think you've reached out to me before.

And if, and I get, if, if you can use me to, to do, good in this world, then, um, I'm willing to

do what you need to accomplish that, in like a weird sort of Prayer offering. Like, Are you there God? It's me, Fiona. Like, Absolutely.

As you're sitting there having this, like, Are you there moment, which I think is a little bit more of a, it's not so much, um, doesn't fit into a category of being like, it's, it's a little bit more serious, right? It's, it's, Like you're actually trying to query and ask and then as with that natural one compounded with that

You sitting there and You know, it's like you don't want to give offense. So you're being careful in that space and everything like that You don't want to bring anything tragic Consequence wise, you've already gained one boon from this goddess in, in the favor of your friend being brought back from what would certainly have been her domain, and this is not a goddess who generally allows, uh, death to be subverted in any way.

Um, unless there's a real reason for that. Um, and

You hear Except for that one random villager that one time. Sorry. Life happens you hear and you feel in your body campaign one. Anyway, continue, uh, a query

and you feel like a sense of some sort of big question being asked and as that big question is being asked, you feel from your whip, the voice come,

do you accept it? Will you pay back this favor?

Can I ask a question back, or is it just a yes or no answer? Can I tell? You can do whatever you want to do. That's fair. Want me to find out? Are you asking the whip? No. No, no, no, no. Um. I was asking you. Uh. Um. Um.

As long as I'm

changing the world for the better. Then yes. You hear from the whip again, oh, conditions. But you feel from that divine presence that's infiltrating your body in this moment.

Agreed. Your favor shall be fulfilled at a later date, and we'll fulfill our purpose together. And as you hear those words from Tanzanite's voice as the goddess of death. You feel the whip subtly change, and the voice that comes from the whip this time is a little different. And now we shall bring divine retribution!

And you feel that whip is vibrating in a different tenor.

Um, you have unlocked the piety levels that bring you to the point where, um, the whip not only has a random detrimental property that it might inflict upon folks, uh, it also has a property where it can actually benefit your group, you, something, but you realize that it's going to be random every time you use the whip.

Okay. So you're going to get still a little bit of a negative situation, but you're also going to get something beneficial. So you've moved past a threshold and you're kind of in the borderlands between the removal of that negative and the addition of that positive. You feel like if you could prove your faith further, you might actually not owe the, or have to deal with the negative burden.

Okay. Um, a banner unfolds from the front of the temple that says no freebies for that ones.

For a freebie.

Gus, you've been looking through these books, setting them, concentrating on the four. Can I have you go ahead and you're spending 16 hours, like a solid amount of time on these. So can I have you go ahead and roll a, um. Well, what are you, what are you hunting for as you're studying these tomes? Um, I guess like,

how to, how to detect one, how to maybe unshapeshift one. If it's like shapeshifted into a human. Uh, Reveal? Yeah, like how to, well, no, like how to like, just, can you dispel it? Is it like, is it more of a, like an action than a spell or like, Yeah. So, Wondering if that was more of like a reverse subtraction moment.

But, um, basically like stuff about how to detect and maybe fight them, I guess. Okay, so. They're clearly up to bad things. So what I would like you to do is first roll a survival check to see if you can, as you're studying this, find clues that would lead to, um, the ability to force it out of its shape. And then what I would love for you to do is roll a insight check to see if you can garner information around the clues that would lead to spotting a slug.

Survival. And Aloysius, you're studying that one text as well in that same vein, right? I just, yeah, depending on how long my time at the temple took, I would have then joined Gus. So if I finish my book, then I would also move on to other books just to put that out there ahead of time. But I'm happy. It's going to be more a question of it.

Are you going to focus concentrated effort on this one book for the entirety of the time? Or are you going to read other books? Cause it's, it's Oh, okay. Um, can I roll to see if I,

Like it would depend if you get what you need out of the one book, right? Like if you start, turn it back and start over. It's not going to work out that way based on how these books are. It's like, you're going to have to get all the really, truly understand the book. To depth. It's kind of like reading a story where until you get to the end, You don't realize the significance of the little clues that they put into place as you're building up the mystery or the story arc.

And then it's kind of like, Oh, I got to reread the book to really understand those things. And you could do that, which means you're spending more time with this book and really getting intensely intimate with the details of it. Got it. Or you're reading through it and then you're going on to another book and reading through that one.

After three to four times of reading the Lord of the Rings, you think you're ready to read the Silmarillion, but then you try to read the Silmarillion and it's really complex and then you just put it down. And you go back to the Lord of the Rings. Yeah. and, and you pretend that you read the entirety.

That's similar and, but we all know did. I did, but I was 13 and I remember none of it. Mm-Hmm. . We all know that. Nobody understood what they read. , uh, unless you're Stephen Colbert. 'cause he has that shit down. Um, anyways, uh, I would like to roll to bring Stephen Colbert in to help us study the books. . Okay.

The DC on that is 40 plus . Oh.

My Survival Role is a 3020. My Insight Role is a 16. Awesome. So, with your Survival Role, you, there, there isn't a clear method to doing anything. And, and you, you kind of go through a whole list. Like, would Magical Detection work in any sort of ways? Is there any way to, like, pierce this? And it revealed to you that this is not an illusion.

or a disguise, it's truly part of their innate characteristics. So it's not going to be like, you can immediately cross that one off. You also realize that this was the Dirty 20, that, um, uh, no, the Dirty 20, yeah, Dirty 20 was a survival. Yeah. The, um, there might be some effectiveness to tools or weapons that are in opposition to their nature.

Um, if you could find the weapons of a holy nature that are imbued with lawful energy. Like a whip? They could be effective against the thuddy. I don't know if that would be considered lawful. Also any spells or abilities that deal holy damage might be effective. Um. You understand that something as simple as like Dispel Magic isn't going to do anything.

So that's also off the list. Um, so the perception through magic and the dispellation through magic, those are not going to be successful. There's some sort of effectiveness with a oppositional weapon of some sort or magic of some sort. Um, and then you start going through some environmental factors and they exude a negative energy.

So maybe there'd be a way to check on, um, just like environmental impact of that negative energy and whether that could be found, but in a city like this, that is going to be tough. Um, there may also be some benefit to being able to draw a creature like the slutty into an environment of lawfulness.

However, knowing that they make up members of the city watch, you have serious concerns that might not be, uh, in existence anymore if they've truly infiltrated the locations that are supposed to uphold law. Um, and then you get into a whole section that is a lot more sticky and you realize that there's probably something to some psychological manipulation that you might be able to utilize.

You, as you're studying this and you're reading the stories and, and from all the four different books, you realize that they are, while they are powerful and unpredictable creatures, they seem to be very susceptible to emotional manipulation of some sort. So you think if you can provoke a strong emotional response, like fear or rage, it might lose, cause them to lose their shape and reveal their true shape.

With your, um, well, let's say that Ulua has returned at this point and Ulua is reading her book. Ulua, could you go ahead and roll your, um, perception check? Perception? Or not perception, insight check. Sorry, wow. Brain. Can I keep the roll? Yeah, it doesn't matter. Uh, insight? Yeah. That's a 26. Nice. Okay, so in combination, Gus, you start getting into it in your, in your, um, attack you had with getting them to reveal themselves in terms of the psychological manipulation, um, is, especially as, as Ulua is digging into things, supported in this area as well.

So as you kind of glance over at Gus's notes and see that piece, Ulua, you. begin to piece things out as you're digging in and your first set of notes is around um their behavior and attitudes and that they're unpredictable and with that unpredictability you might notice a change in an individual who was previously fairly even killed because they can be really erratic going from calm to a rage in a moment so that would be one identifier through behavior traits.

They also seem to have a dis regard for order. So suddenly someone who was law abiding might become disdainful of laws and social norms. Now with your friend Oksana, you already live in a world that is, uh, that has tried to transform and disregard social norms to create new ones. So That might be a little tough to suss out, but then as you're going through this, you realize that there's another section of cruelty and sadism that these sluddy really enjoy inflicting pain and suffering on other people.

And that does not ring clear to Oksana.

Another thing I forgot that I would definitely want to look for is, or two things actually, is if they retain memories of like the hosts that they imitate or like of the people they imitate and If they don't kill those people, where they might keep them. Those are two other things. We can get to that at the end of this.

Sorry, I just wanted to get it out there because I'll forget. No, that's great. Um, Ulua, you, based on this kind of align this concept of like, they're going to have strange or obsessive interests that just don't align with their apparent background. And you, you can see that that's different. And then as you digging further, because you remember that the eyes were a little different when you saw through the mirror recording and you redid it a few times, there is information about an unnatural or strange color to the eyes that can occasionally be revealed.

You read that there are, there are stories in this one tome of slutty that had their, their host's color was a strange or unusual texture or color, um, and that people noted that people who were under the control of a Slutty were often physically stronger or more agile than they should have been, which were markers.

Um, and then the final thing is that someone who had a Slutty spawn within them. seem to heal at an unusually rapid rate. Um, you also read about these very rare instances of Slod that there's barely any information, but with the 26 you're kind of able to piece some of this together as like these random, there are some Slody that are beyond the norm.

That are skilled in magic, and have spells and abilities beyond the regular Slaadi behavior. And that some can transform into other creatures, beyond just the humanoid. Um, as I read that part, I'm just going to say out loud, well, that's terrifying. And so, given this knowledge now of like, Slotty could be anybody if they, but the basic run of the mill Slotty, they just transform into the person that they were hosted under.

Um, and as you, Gus, see that note about most Slotty only being able to be, uh, or transform into the one that they were implanted in to consume, and then. become, uh, it triggers a thought to you and you flip back through one of your books. Could you go ahead and roll a medicine check?

Nope. That is a four. You can't find the place, but you feel like there was something, something that would have been really helpful in one of these books. Um, and with that thought you could share with your friends. Research partner, but you're both coming up on the end of your time of study. I feel like this time is just like a montage of Gus's night on the bed, upside down like this.

And then he's like kicking his feet up in the chair over here. And then he's like, but like there, it's like a conversational, like you find something interesting, you say it out loud. So like the information that I'm getting, I'm sharing and she hopefully is doing the same. Um, so, so at some point you're saying they're like tearing through the book, unable to find the spot, but you're like, there's something to that.

I just don't know what.

Yeah.

I mean, if I, if I don't spend the entire time on my book, then I'm happy to, to, to try to go over it and see if I can find what he's referring to. Yeah. I don't know that it would be so much of like you leaving your book to help his book, but more help him brainstorm for a moment and help him articulate the thought that he had.

Okay. Um, something, something, something to what?

Uh, my brain just completely shut off. What are we talking about? I'll be like trying to download all this information and it's just. Ah, worse. It's something in her notes around the, um, the, the transformation abilities. Uh, uh, something about the, the transformation, um, just, it rang a bell for something I've already read, but now I can't find it.

Do you know which book it was in? Uh, I think it was this one. Uh, roll a d4.

Ooh, d4, you don't get to roll that randomly. Ulua. You look at the cover of this book and it is kind of just rubbed raw so that the title isn't showing,

but one of the, like, barely legible words on the book matches something you had from your notes

related to the, um, memory of incubation. Were you Trying to figure out if they kept our memories?

Is there a section on that in the book? Is there, is there a, is there a table of contents? Or a chapter list? Is there an index in the book? Uh, let me look. Roll an intelligence saving throw. Me or him? Uh, him. Hey, 30 20. I'm giving you the opportunity to redo this. Uh, with the mention of an index. You go to the back of the book and you find a page number and most of these have been rubbed really raw but you can barely make it out and you flip back through and you find the section that her initial note that you had read mentioned and you as you're reading it you come to understand that while they do have memory of the being's life that allows them to embody them It only comes from the time of incubation.

So pre incubation, there is no knowledge. So when you look for, and this is why it's possible through behavioral identifiers to figure out who they are, it's because their older history, the, the, the hosts growing up experience all the way up until the moment of implantation is a mystery. So our password is safe.

Scuttlebutt is safe. Assuming none of us is implanted right now, anyway. Scuttlebutt! Okay, Seraphina, as these are, these two are Wait, I do have one more question. Um, so there's basically like, three forms of slob we can encounter. There is a slob that is trans, like, polymorphed or shapeshifted into a human.

There is a human that is incubating a slob. And then there's a human that is controlled by a slot, just to make sure we got that right. Um, you have the tadpole that is being incubated within a human that is relatively ineffective. It's just kind of growing and consuming the host. You have the first stage of the slot evolution, which is, uh, the Various colored skins of Slaad, um, with different rarities, um, which is after they've been incubated, which is, um, where they can wear the skin of their, um, host as a transformation property.

So basically they like hatch out of that house, kill that house, didn't wear their skin. Yeah. Okay. And then there is a less understood Possibly third stage of their evolution, where they become more powerful, having access to magic and other things like that. Um, and the details as you get to these greater forms are scant in these books.

It seems that not many have either been able to document it or probably didn't survive encounters with these more advanced forms.

I was just clarifying in my head, like, what different Slaad formations we could encounter. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, um. Can you spell Slaads? S L A A D. S L A A D. Thank you. S L A A D. S L A A D. And the plural is S L A A D I. Oh. S L I. Oh. So it's not slods, it's slod eye. Slod ee. Slod ee. Octopi. Octopi. Slod eye.

Good. It could be slod eye. I've only seen it written. I don't know. Yeah, same. I honestly don't know how to pronounce it. I kind of like Slod eye. I like saying slod because it has all this, like, creepy sounding syllabans. Slod eye sounds a little It's very onomatopoetic.

I don't know, it just sounds creepy. I have a question. Can a sloth's arm reach its agnestis? I'm just, is it long enough? No, no creature can agnestis. That doesn't count! You didn't use it in character! He was talking to you, Ulua. Lies. We all know when I made another character because I have Gus's dumb accent, so.

Uh, Seraphina. Which also happens. You've corrected your creature, you've corrected the work on it, and now you're at home with your family. At the home I provide for us. Your mother is not there. Ah, bitch. Bitch. Uh, and your father is, he's having one of his bad spells, but it's not one that you can do anything for.

And like anyone who's trying to go through a recovery after exposure for a long time to a substance, this is possibly life as it shall be, or it's temporary. You don't know, but he. It's hour after hour of tremors for a bit, and then slackness as he sleeps, then tremors once again.

I just do my best to comfort him, you know, when he's tremoring, do whatever it would be that I would know that he needs, whether that's space or whether that's holding him, whatever, but like I'm just kind of there for him. And then when he's resting. You know, maybe just sitting there. During one of these resting periods, I would love for you to roll a perception check.

Perception. Perception.

What does that even land on? What number does that go in the way? Okay.

Plus five. 16, 17, 18. 21.

Perception. Okay, so you're sitting by your father's bedside. You're sitting by your father's bedside here. Your heart heavy with worry, I suppose. You can hear his labored breathing. He seems to be having rough days or good days and it, it's, it weighs on you as it does, but you hear a commotion outside.

It's a chorus of voices, rough and menacing, and they echo through the street. You hear the unmistakable sound of the clink of metal against metal,

growls and yells and a scream of fear. Someone outside is. He's genuinely enjoying causing a little bit of trouble.

A do such a thing.

This neighborhood is like not, right? This is like the same neighborhood as where Gus gets his art supplies and Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Um, I would like to go to the window and sneakily look past it. Yeah, um, roll a perception check. Heh heh, no matter what do. Don't get cocky! 23. I wish for a dice with a cock right there because you said don't get cocky.

Yeah, that would have been cool. Um, peeking through the curtains you can see a group of young, mostly masculine, uh, humanoids gathered in front of your apartment's lower floor where the, where other tenants might be coming in and out. Their faces are obscured by shadows and by their clothing, but their menacing postures and a glint of weapons in hand speaks volumes to you.

One of them in particular is kind of an imposing figure and a step forward and begins to speak, shouting up towards the building. His voice is thick with menace and carries clearly to you in the window.

It's time for your protection, Fizz!

Uh, uh huh, uh huh. Quick reminder that we probably all have our earbugs in now.

So maybe we've been communicating, maybe we've been communicating our Gus definitely put his in. I am so reticent to use that thing, it freaks me the fuck out. No, well if you're not wearing it, it's fine. I didn't ask for it, they just gave it to me. I don't want it. No offense, Zorik, I just, it just creeps me out.

I gave you something to be able to communicate with each other. Um, I'm

a Why'd you have to make it so macabre? It's not that macabre, it just is a honey eating little earworm. Yeah, totally not. That can eat our brains if we don't feed it. I hate high maintenance things. What do you mean by high maintenance? It's a little living creature that lets you communicate freely without any cost or word limit to all of your friends for a tiny bit of honey.

Yes, but all of us as people, not even, like, as players, not as our characters can't remember shit! So you're just asking us to risk our brains, our characters brains getting eaten.

This boy, is it clear that he's talking to me, or is he talking to, like, every tenant in the building? Uh, roll an insight check. Okay. Insight. Eh. Well, she does that. Is it safe to say that, like, I could just retroactively say that if I'm wearing this thing, I get up every morning, I make my coffee, I feed some honey to my weird little ear bug.

Yeah, it could just be part of your routine. And I don't have to say it every day, to assume it's happening. 100%. I like that. Um, okay. So that is only a, where did it go? Uh, nine.

Um, you know, you've been in a house where people came and attacked you and your father while you were both alone together in the house before. And the, almost the PTSD of that, what last happened when someone came and attacked you in your home, when you were alone with your dad is. He's clouding your judgment and you think he's just addressing you.

I'm going to, um, start to try to go downstairs and walk outside. See how far I can get them away from the building

slash pretend like I'm just leaving for the day.

So you're, you're, say that again. I just need to clarify what you're doing. You're stepping out of the building. So yeah, I'm going to leave. Um, and sort of my mindset is leave as if they're not talking to me. But if they are just try to get them away from the building. So like maybe they'll follow me a little ways Well, they're definitely gonna try to confront you out the doorway cuz they're blocking.

Yeah, great Where you think you're going pay up?

I'm gonna try to look Touched you or anything, but you can see a menace and their steps and you're looking super cute Looking super cute and I'm gonna go. Um No,

I

try to get around. I would love for you to roll a performance check to see if this cute dumb act works. Ah, performance, performance. Okay. It's not, not a good plus number, so come on, roll high. Eh, uh, 13?

You can see like one of the gang members off to the side kind of looks at you with a little bit of like a,

but the individual right in front of you lifts up a dagger, points it right at your nose. Pay up. You're now the Tenants Association, and you're paying for everyone. A

dick move. No, thank you. Um, roll for initiative, because that didn't work. Didn't work the first time, not gonna work a second time. How many are there? There are six. K. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Not today. No! Awesome. You see them about to shove forward that dagger straight into your face, and you have your turn before theirs, as they're about to You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to STAB!

Alright, so. But they are fully about to stab you. Oh no, Batman. Okay. Whatever.

Um. So, remind me how, because I rolled a nat 20 in our version this works, do I get two turns, or I just, I just go first? You get to roll, you get to go through two, uh, actions. So you can get an action, and then action again. Which if you have multiple attack actions, means that you can use those twice. Right.

Okay, so Action, action, bonus action, movement. So

Remember, this is in the split second, so what Seraphina would do in that, like Um, okay. She's got a lot she gets to do, but Um, so, I get two actions now, so Two actions and a bonus action, and your movement. And my movement. So, my first action is, I'm going to cast invisibility on myself. Okay. Um And then my second action for that turn, I'm going to pull out my newly fixed golem.

Okay. And put him, um, I'm going to try to like roll him because he's in like a little ball. That's kind of how I imagined him.

You just disappear. Momentary shock and then out of the nothingness of where you were, a little ball has rolled out because once it leaves your body then it is visible. Mm hmm. And then he pops out. So it looks like you, it looks like you turned into the little ball, which turned into the Yeah. It almost looks like she's transformed.

Actually, could you just roll a deception check to see if that's what they believe? Yeah. Let's hope this goes well. This lady just turned into a pokeball. Come on. Be good. Woo! 18? Yeah. You To At least Yeah. I think you've You've You've disappeared and become a little rolly ball that suddenly sprouts into the Steel Defender.

Your Steel Defender is sitting there. You can use your bonus action to give it a command to take an action. Um. I would like to try to whisper into his ear and say, um, How, ah, fuck, how do I phrase this? Cause I don't want him to kill them. I'm gonna say, beat him up and scare him.

And hopefully they run away.

So, that's that. I command you.

And then I get my second turn, cause I'm not moving yet. Well, I'll, I'll step like five feet to the side so that like he can, he can beware. You know, so I guess I used five feet of movement. And then it would be the start of my next turn, right? So, you get your, you've used your action to go invisible, your Steel Defender is just a bonus action, and you have, oh no, your Steel Defender is an action in and of itself too, so you've used both of your actions, so you've used both of your actions, and you've used your reaction to command him, all you have left is the movement, that's all you have left, and then it's gonna be their turn.

And the Steel Defender gets an action, right? Well, it gets it, her reaction gives it the, her bonus action gives it an action, which will follow her turn. Yeah. But right now, all you have left is movement. You don't get another turn after this. Oh, okay, okay. Um, so then yeah, I'm actually gonna move to behind the group.

That's gonna be my movement. As you're invisible, I'm going to have you roll a, um, Sneaky Sneak with advantage. Ooh, baby, love it! Which we'll use to determine whether or not you leave their area of being able to hit you or try to swing wildly to hit you. Yeah. Oh, that's cocked. Okay.

Uh, 16?

You disappear, the ball rolls and transforms into your still defender. The individual that was holding the blade to you, their hand follows the ball rather than, with the blade in it, follows the ball rather than where you are, and you're able to slip away around to the backside of the group. Perfect. As his blade follows this rolling ball and it transforms into its structural self, your turn is over, and even as he's reaching forward to stab with the blade, your, uh, Steel Defender uses its, uh, Force Empowered Rend, which is its attack type.

I need you to roll the, um, attack, and then you're gonna add your spell attack modifier for it to hit. Alright, he's gonna get a Mushroom. Die!

The mushroom dye is the best! Natural 20! Alright, so double the damage on the Tahit, which I think is 1d8 plus your proficiency? 1d8 plus PB?

Those listening at home, tell us what PB means, because right now we're going to Google it, but you'd be the first to let us know. Proficiency bonus. Yeah, so you'll add 3 to it. Okay, perfect. And this is a D8. Are you an 8? I only know that because I had that issue in campaign one with one of my I don't know why they acronymed it that way.

Is everybody just called it proficiency? Plus your proficiency would be much better language. So, um, I rolled a 6 plus 3, so 9. 9. Yeah, 9 points of damage. And double the rolled part, so the 6 is double, so that's 12. Plus 3 is 15. Uh, Your Steel Defender, like, what does its, uh, force damage based appendages look like?

I mean, I know that it had like some sort of fist thing, but I don't remember what they looked like. Um, you remember in Atlantis, towards the end of the movie where those big rock guys come up to like make the shield? It looks like one of those. So it's just like big and rocky, but also kind of metal y.

Okay, so

it curls its fingers together and wham, right into the forehead of this individual. Their eyes roll back and all you see is the whites of their eyes and an imprint upon their slightly green tinged skin of four knuckles and they fall backwards, unconscious. You're fairly certain you heard. a skull crack.

This would have been, if your creation hadn't been pulling its blow, a kill. Ooh, I'm glad it wasn't a kill. And Just a little brain leaking out, but it's not dead. He's fine. Um, forever, never going to have a frontal lobe again, but not dead. He's no longer the smartest member of the gang. Yeah, he probably wouldn't have one to begin with.

You hear the reaction of the, of the other people around. Oh shit, his dad's gonna kill us. And the gang scatters. You have a reaction if you would like to Yes. Attack or whatnot. Scatter! Uh, I don't want to attack. What I want to do is Whatever reaction you might have. I want to use Thaumaturgy. And think to myself, Ah, I need to teach this thing how to talk.

And then I'm gonna Try to say in like a big menacing voice, No one from these homes will owe you money. Grrrr. So, Thaumaturgy isn't a reaction spell, and this is definitely a reaction. Dang, it's just reaction? Okay. So, I know that you have, like, you have the telekinetic reprisal as part of your gift of the gem dragon.

I can't remember what that does exactly. But I think you have to take damage for it to work. Yeah. Okay. Um, so you have an opportunity attack, you have the ability to absorb elements, feather fall, do hellish rebuke, or shaker. Um, um, Wait, what am I trying to do? What am I trying to do? You being hit too, so you don't think you have that one actions.

So I think really you just have the opportunity attack or three utility spells.

Yeah. So one reaction which you take in response to being damaged. Okay. Yeah, so not that one. So then I'm gonna just yell as a reaction in a big, scary voice to try to make it seem like that it's coming from my dude. Okay, roll a performance check to see if you're able to play ventriloquist and voice thrower.

Does she get advantage because I didn't think that she turned into that thing? Sure. Sure. I got you, Jess. I got you. Lawyering over here. Not even rules lawyering, just like advantage lawyering. And I'm doing a performance. So, uh, 15, 16, 17? You're uncertain as they dart away whether or not that was effective or not.

Okay. But to you it really did sound like it was coming from your your still defender and stay out great And you are there with an unconscious individual laid out on the street a little blood leaking from their nose and from their mouth And from their ear While I'm still invisible, I would like to

Where is it? Well, she figures that out I would like to apologize for saying you better come scoop up your friend from the new guy every single time that someone's unconscious because It amuses me Apparently I don't have oh I do I do I do I'd like to um touch him touch his little forehead and cast cure wounds at the first level

To try to like clean up the blood and stuff Regrow a medicine check Roll a medicine check sure yeah I'd like to cast regrow brain

Um, medicine plus two, twelve.

You're uncertain as to the efficacy of your spell. You feel like it's fixed some cosmetic damage, but beyond that, they remain unconscious. Might have made an enemy guess.

Nobody's there to hear you as you whisper this to yourself. Invisibly, not so much anymore because you became visible once you cast Cure Wounds. Um, you're still Defender. Yeah, I'm gonna, like, be, I'm gonna say the code, which will be, mmm, mmm, d size. Which makes them go tiny. Back in the box, Jack! So stopping, it was about to run down, and, Chase after the others, um, given that it's directions were to beat him up, beat him up, and it doesn't feel like it's finished because it's just an automaton as it rolls back up into its ball into your possession.

You are sitting there alone in the alley that is the front of your new apartment building with an unconscious individual and your father upstairs. You can hear a racking cough. Um, I'm gonna

Seraphina's torn. She doesn't know if she should You know, she feels bad for this dude, cause he's all messed up now. But also she wants to stay true to her, like, big scariness. Um, so She is going to, honestly, she'll probably just sit there in uncertainty of what she should do next. She's like made a big decision and she's like, I don't, I don't know if that was the right decision.

I don't, I don't know what I've done. I didn't have to pay though. So like these are the thoughts just like going through her brain as she's sitting there like, oh no, oh no. Uh, how long do you stay there having thoughts?

Um, until something happens. Whether someone comes out of the apartment complex, whether the guy wakes up, whether I hear my dad call for me, like, something to, like, verbally or physically, like, jolt me out of the, my brain. Okay, um. Stuck in a loop. I would have you roll a perception check. Okay. Honestly, if you're there sitting over his body, could I have you just roll a, um, I think I need you to roll.

A perception, since you're looking at this person's body. Okay.

Perception. Stop. Sixteen? Okay, with a sixteen, you, um, as you're sitting there and spiraling, you're You realize that this individual does not belong to this neighborhood. Mm. Their clothes are just a little too nice. This is the clothes of somebody who is trying to feign belonging here, or is like truly just not of this neighborhood at all, um, and is pretending.

Mm hmm. They're playing at being a gangster. Sure. Interesting. Whoops.

Um, and with that realization Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. 100%. Or just win stupid because you have brain damage now. That's so awful. I mean, you're not wrong, but oh my god. Not a lie. Oh, that's so bad. Uh, so yes, as

you're sitting there with these thoughts, I do. Do you have any reaction to that information as you see that, or are you just still sitting there spiraling? Um, no, it starts to get me out of my spiral and more into, I don't want to like, go through his stuff or anything, but I want to try to like,

I'm just, I'm making a mental note of that, and now I'm sort of waiting for him to wake up.

Um, Unless it's, you know, it's time to meet up with my friends, I don't, you know, Depending on what this is, I assume we were going to come get her before we go to the place. So we might show up eventually if she waits long enough. I would like for somebody in the group to roll a d100. I think Larissa, oh, Jason's doing it, he's already got it.

Yeah, he's fine. Go ahead. He's also got, like, more room to kind of do it. 93. Ooh. It's so heavy. Lula and Gus. You are walking along and, and the street ahead seems really quiet and you know that this is the street where, just down the way, Seraphina's new place is. The watch doesn't generally come down here, but I just figured out why Gus likes his neighborhood.

But there's usually a little bit of life to it as the locals move around. And you come around the corner and you see Seraphina leaned over the top of an individual, unconscious blood, a small pool of blood around their head.

Um, rough day? What's the password?

What, what password? Oh, oh! Scuttlebutt!

Uh, what happened here? Um, a big mean wannabe gang showed up demanding money for protection. Okay. Um, I assume You, you, you did that? Well, I got, um, I gotta name him. I got Gollum out, and he, boop, boop, boop, cha chow. Oh, oh, I was going to say, that's, that's I like Larissa's suggestion of Jack in the box, Jack.

Jack. Jack it is. Jack in the box. Yep, so Jack, uh, Jack, you know, got out, and I told him to, you know, beat up the guys and scare them away, and, uh, yeah, you know. I'm gonna, like, kneel down and see what I see. It'd be like medicine check followed by investigation check. I want to see what I see. Okay, so start off with a medicine check and then roll the investigation check.

Medicine's a nine. Not great. You're uncertain, but they seem to be breathing. Oh, he's alive. Nat 20 on the investigation. That's a lot of nat 20s this session. Told you you were warming up your dice earlier. Tally these up, baby! Yay! The one that I rolled the nat 20 on when I was rolling out my dice has rolled shit all day.

So I was correct. This is the other one. Just patting him down. You come across a health potions, a potion of giant strength, uh, like this is untold wealth and I'm going to take out one of the health potions and dump it in his mouth. I grabbed the strength one and I take it. As you dump the health potion in his mouth and you continue your check of him, he's wearing a cloak of elven kind.

It's a pretty normal cloak in the upper echelons of the city, but it's not exactly streetwear. It's been made to look that way, a little bit rougher, but as you're looking at it, you can see on the inseam, the creator of it was, uh, and it was a well known designer. So this is a designer label, Cloak of Elvenkind, um, made to look rough and beat up.

It's like very hipster. You're, and as you continue this check, you're astounded by the sheer wealth on an individual. He's wearing the D& D version of a 300 flannel shirt. Yeah, 100%.

Hello, bean cloak. Um, I told him, no, thank you, that I didn't want to pay him. But I don't think you necessarily did anything wrong. I also don't think this boy is from this neighborhood. I don't think so either. I don't know what he's getting up to, but he's wearing very Well to do clothing, um. The, the, the guys that were with him did say, Oh no, his dad's gonna kill us!

So hopefully whoever his dad is, um, will, you know, be mad at them and not me. Is there like a clinic or a hospital near here? In this neighborhood, no. But, you know you can go down to the temple district and

Um,

just trying to figure out if there's like, a A way to get him there, because obviously I can't lift it. Uh, we should probably get this more onto a hospital. Um,

seems like he was playing stupid games on his phone.

Uh, I'm gonna look through, is there anything about like who, identification, who he is? Uh, you're not able to find any identification as such on him. Like he doesn't have his papers or anything like that. But. As you're looking again at this designer cloak and and the boots and other things

this is all it just it keeps ringing to you this is a lot of wealth and maybe even more so than you would find in any area of Overton itself. I would like to hail one of the the air taxi things.

Hail! Um yeah you can call one of those and uh you know in this neighborhood it takes a while for them to come because Nobody here can afford their services, but eventually one of them comes by. I'm just going to like load his ass in there. Tell him to take him to the hospital and tell him he's got lots of money in his pocket.

Like he can pay for it. It's not my problem. Roll an insight check as you do this.

Five. Great. The, you, you get, uh, the, the, the, the driver of the flying carpet. This is the flying carpet helps. Pull the body in, and then, I'll tell the driver like what happened, like that he and his friends tried to like hustle this building for protection money, and he got hurt, and he seems to be a stupid rich kid that is playing.

You see it zoom off to the south.

Is that where the hospital is? Yep. Well, this certainly won't come back to bite us in the butt. What are we doing now, guys? Uh, let's go to the, the, there's a tavern, right? Yeah, we'll go to the tavern and see what we see. Alright, you all head off down to the tavern. And we will pick up next time with our trio getting to the tavern.

Um, and some interesting little history left behind. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm never allowed to go home. I'm never allowed to go home by myself, ever again. You might want to, like, maybe, no. Not live in the most decrepit first option ever shown to you in space. But, you know, whatever. Uh, so you all Are gonna head down into the tavern next time we will catch up with you all there, but for now Thank you so much for joining us I hope you find your own pod And have a beautiful and wonderful day Bye