Probability of Demise

Welcome adventurers to Probability of Demise, the podcast where critical fumbles meet critical facepalms. Join us as we delve into the darkest dungeons, slay the stupidest gremlins, and roll enough ones to make a beholder weep. Forget epic storylines and heroic deeds. Here we celebrate the chaotic beauty of bad roles, questionable decisions, and characters with more charisma than sense.

We'll be your dungeon masters of disappointment, guiding you through campaigns where the only guaranteed treasure is a mountain of laughter, and maybe some psychic scarring. So grab your nat 1 dice, strap on your anxiety helmets, and prepare to witness the glorious trainwreck that is our D& D journey.

Because, in the end, it's Even if your character dies face first into a pile of pudding, at least you'll have the Dice God's permission to laugh your ass off.

That's right folks, strap on, like, subscribe, and leave your comments for Probability of Demise, our pod. Hope you find your pod. We are back. In. And I made Larissa roll her eyes. In. Strap. In. In the narration for this whole time. And I just realized that I said, strap on, strap in, happy pride, everyone.

Oh, are they still doing the leather, uh, pride down in, in, in, uh, I'm sure I, I don't know. Um, I didn't know if it became like problematic at all. And like some of those fade away when they get, No, no, no, no. I mean, as far as I know, um, but the, the, the couple that I know that would always go, they moved to Philly.

So, um, I don't know about, uh, this year in particular, but if you'd ever go down there, I have like 0 percent interest in finding out about it. So feel free to not let me know. Well, there was one time we accidentally stumbled upon it when we went to go have, uh, we went to go to the Whitney and then go to.

brunch afterwards. It was right there. Yeah, well, I think that's how it happened to me too. I was, I was actually walking along the High Line and I looked down and went, that's, oh, I know what that is. Mm hmm. All right. Um, Jess probably like makes leather outfits for people down there. Yeah, I'm the one who makes everyone's outfits for the day.

That would be such a fun job actually. Word of the day. Were you Warn Warnovich? No. Today's Word of the Day, by Jess. By me. Hello, and welcome. Welcome once again to the wonderful segment that is my segment of the word of the day. So today we rolled, I don't remember what I rolled, but I wrote it down, 38.

And I wrote that on the magical D100 that Jason got me. Can't forget that. And today's word, uh, is, I feel like I've used this one before. edit out if I have, but I don't, I don't know. Do y'all remember kalopsia? Nope. No. Okay, good. Perfect. I feel like we had something similar, but so today's word of the day is kalopsia spelled K O L A.

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not spelled that way. That's my dyslexia talking. K A L O P S I A. kalopsia. And used in a sentence.

The warlock's spell cast a veil of calypso over the battlefield, making the ruined landscape appear as beautiful as a, uh, as a meadow.

Don't know if they have a spell to do that, but that's what it says.

I didn't actually tell you what it is. That would help.

It means I want to get the exact meaning of it. In my head. I was making my own definition anyways. So this is great. It's the delusion of things being more beautiful than they actually are. That sounds like any illusionist would say. Stream. Yeah. Last we left off, Seraphina and Alua and Gus have gone three different ways to do their best across the city, which meant that I am wearing this shirt.

Party split pie. Split the party, split the party, and find out what happens. So if you would like to buy that at our shop, feel free to go to demisecast.com and shop the shirt. At any rate, um, Get some merch, shop the shirt and get some merch. With the collapse of the temple that they had recently investigated and the shopping trip in that same area complete, the collection of the construct that Seraphina had released, Gus being pulled off to a lawyer meeting.

meant that Seraphina decided, as she was elected to decide, that they should split up even more. And Seraphina should go take care of business with her parents and, uh, learn some adult skills, like how to shop for an apartment. And Alula, has been left to her own devices and I would love to reconvene at that fade through moment that we had last session at the end where Seraphina's eyes slowly closed and we reversed time through history opened our eyes to see Ulua watching Seraphina's behind move further and further off into the crowd I mean you're not wrong but You didn't have to call me out like that.

Wow, I thought we were friends, right? So we get this beautiful moment of, mostly it's just Seraphina falling apart around Ulua, but now we have this moment where Alua actually, in canon, was just checking out some of that candy as it waltzed away into the crowd. Having waltzed, Ulua, you are left to your own devices for A little vial of honey in hand.

What do you do? Um, I am going to head back to Sincere House, um, and check in. Uh, I want to pay back the funds that I borrowed, uh, emergency wise, which I think amounted to about 120 gold, both. I think so, yeah. Um,

um, but predominantly I want to warn, um, Oksana and all my sisters to negate any attempts by the magic shopkeepers, uh, shopkeeper to furnish the house. Okay. Um,

I, uh, I can't, I can't, I can't. I will move, um, and, um, The other thing I wanted to do, um, I'm trying to remember. I don't have the, the music that the siren deciphered. Do I? Is that mine? Okay. Yeah, you have it on you. Okay. Um, and we, did we, I'm trying to remember if we did anything with that or not. I don't remember what it said.

I'm gonna just start off with first things first. You do return the money, but it's not directly to Oksana. It's to the other folks. Um, as Oksana is, yet again, not home. Do the others know where they, where she is? Or is she just No, actually, um, you did hear that Celia from Shellside Spirits and Sundries also came by looking for Oksana and was unable to find her.

Otherwise, I'm just going to spend the evening, uh, uh, attuning to my quip. I feel like there was something, was there something else that I could attune to that would, would take a couple of the book. That's it, the book. Invest some of the hours in that. The book, that's it. Okay, yeah. It's not in my inventory, so I wasn't sure how to, I don't think.

Um, it's probably not in your inventory because I couldn't find a quick version, and, but, I don't know. At the end of your 48 hours of investment, you could actually probably put down a countdown timer for it. Would be more useful to you of like how many hours you invest in it and just take off the hours as you get there.

Cause when you get to the end of the 48 hours, you will be able to add a plus two to your, um, charisma modifier. Right. And I get to know a secret every day. Right. And I already know the secret for today. He's had a different book. That was a different book? There were two books. You've got this I thought Gus had the book of secrets.

Gus has the book of secrets, yes. And I have the Charisma book. Sorry, that's right. I think I'm confused about who has which book. But, yeah. No, I definitely have the Charisma one. That's right. Um. Which was from the Uh, bookkeeper. And Gus has the book from the bookkeeper. The baker. Yes. Right. Sorry. Again. So many items.

So many things. Um. I feel like you've pursued the sirens message fully. If you find in your notes somewhere that there was some public comment you still have questions about, Feel free to find that, but I needed to be a little bit more specific because I had, I'm, I'm looking at my thing here and I've filed away.

Yeah, um, I'm just trying to think if there's anything else within, list of, um, the list of the notes from the Batmaster. Um, meh. No, I'm just gonna, um, Gingerly take out the book, cause I'm genuinely perturbed by anything given to me by that shopkeeper. And um, start to peruse it. And then I'll have an evening in with a glass of wine.

Why is my You're bouncing. I don't know why though. Maybe it's just your desk, I don't know. Like it's not usually So So your Having an evening in, reading the book, getting caught up on those types of things.

Yeah. Okay.

Um, so you're having an evening in, getting caught up on things, and, uh, you have, you don't hear Cecilia, or Celia, not Celia, Oksana come in. Sorry. It's alright. Um. through the night, so she must be out for a longer period of time, um, but you read for however many hours you would like to read before finding your own rest, um, and then when you wake up, dawn is there.

You can hear birds chirping. And And you can hear the hum of Oksana moving around in the shared spaces of the home. I'm going to go down and check in with her. Oh, would you like a biscuit?

British biscuit or American biscuit? I'm asking you, Rurik, what you mean. Oh, I always, my brain. Oh, they're clearly treats. Morning breakfast. Cookies. Got it. Okay. Um, You know what? I've been eating a little light lately. I should probably have something more substantial and nutritional. But I appreciate the offer.

Well, I can prepare something for you if you'd like. Oh, it's fine. I can, I can manage. What, um, Mm hmm. Is anything new with you? I notice we've kind of been missing each other lately, which is fine. We're not, we're not beholden to each other, but it's nice to see you. Yeah, it's, it's nice to see you. I've been busy with a project and there's been, um, well, some things have gotten in the way, um,

partners had to leave town quite quickly, uh, and

just trying to do my best for the city. And

make things better.

Okay. Um. Is there anything that I or we, meaning my two, I guess all of them, teammates know? You can see that she really smiles. Like, she's been kind of just like, Obfuscating up until this point, um, and when you say your feelings you can see a genuine smile. I'm really glad that you're finding a group of people who might offer something new, but also just a positive way to do things, I mean, in the city.

Yeah, well I have to admit that it,

it's hard to see any positive effect

on a, I guess on an impactful scale. Well, don't sell yourself short. I heard about the fundraiser you held. Which was a cover. Oh, okay, but it had a positive effect. You have undermined a nefarious plot to truly harm the city, um, something I was completely unaware of and not at all, um, well,

it definitely took me by surprise. I mean, we What else have you been up to? I mean, it's, I guess it's not that we, it's not quietly started making you breakfast

feeling that she's successfully distracted you with these questions. I just,

I don't know, in, in the moment, it seems that we're,

it doesn't feel like we're making a difference. And it's not, and I don't mean that it's not impactful. It's just that.

I guess we rarely get the chance to experience or

appreciate any change before the next thing comes along. You know, it seems like it's, it's, it it has been a continuous uphill climb and

I don't know it, this time I, I, I, I don't know it, everything just feels so much more complicated than it used to be. And I,

it's just different, you know, I, I don't, I, I really like Gus and Seraphina and I enjoy spending time with them both, but I, I worry about. Any of us getting hurt doing what we're doing, and

I guess that's kind of the trade off though, isn't it? You stick your nose into any sort of business and

there's repercussions for your actions, no matter how well intentioned.

Oksana lets her hair fall, covering her face. Yeah, our actions have consequences. And then as she pulls it aside and reveals her face again, she reaches with her other arm and she puts in front of you a plate of meats and pastries.

At some point you're going to have to let people start taking care of you.

I still have much of my life ahead of me. I'm young. A hundred years went by in a blink. The next hundred, probably more of the same.

Well, Oh, I have to go. Um, and you can see that she kind of scratches just behind her ear a little bit, uh, um, new things afoot. I'm sure I'll, I'll see you later. Hang on one second. Look that way. And I have, and I point to the direction that will expose her ear to me that she just scratched. Uh, who, uh, wha wha whatever for?

And she looks And then she looks back at you. Roll a perception check. Does she have an earbud in? Roll a perception check. Ha ha ha ha. Awww. Those have not been great today. That one's good. Perception 17. You catch sight of a glittering little jewel that was not in her ear when you first met her. You don't know when it has arrived in her ear, but it is an earring, but it's placed differently.

It's not placed on the lobe or on the cartilage, it's placed in the deeper section. But it's relatively new jewelry. You don't recall her wearing this even a month ago or so. And maybe you just missed it. It could have been around for a month or so, but it is She's up to speed. Elves live for a long time, and to add a new piece to one's ensemble is kind of a big step usually.

Mm hmm. That's a nice gadget. Oh, um, yes, uh, just staying in touch with some individuals who I have allied myself with. Temporarily.

Well, have a lovely, lovely day. I do need to be getting going. Oh, just before you go. Um, I told the girls, but, uh, the magic shopkeeper down in the the market, do you know, the one across from the blacksmith, the magic shop there, it's right next to Which neighborhood? Which neighborhood, I can't remember.

Ascended Temples. The one near the temples. Oh, um, yes, I've, I've heard that it's, uh, well, some of our sisters and others have gone there for body enhancements. She seems to specialize in

repairs and replacements, so to speak. Yes, um, if she asks, don't let her decorate the house. She expressed interest and she makes furniture, and I think when she replaces parts, she then uses the old pieces to create, to recycle as it were. Um. Good term. And it, yeah, it just, she, she wanted especially to do my room and I, I, I, I would really prefer that not happen or I, I might have to leave.

So Well, we wouldn't want that. I mean, you are You helped start this. You helped bring in our sisters and No, that would be outrageous. So I, I will pass it around to others and, and let them know that we already have a decorator. Yes. I'm not trying to, to blacklist anyone. I just, I was just very disturbed by her, her aesthetic.

It's aesthetic. I'm unsure of the, um, of how they, they identify considering they were mostly made up of bird cages. But, um, Malia upstairs does have some new furniture that has come in recently. I'm curious. Would it bother you if somebody else chose to pick up a piece? Um, if it's their personal room, I guess not.

As long as it stays, it doesn't move around and come in mine. I feel like it was some sort of throw rug or something. Throw rug wasn't the right, she used a different term, but I don't remember what it was. Have you seen it? Uh, no, I I haven't been home recently. I've been out a lot. Certainly. Um, if I get the chance.

I I really do need to go. Yes, go ahead. Huh. Well, I guess that's that. Ahhhh.

One thing I want to do before I go. Oh, I suppose. And I, um, the ear thing reminds me and I, I, I guess I don't really know how to do this, but I take out the earbud and I take the like stopper or cap off the vial. And I just kind of bring them together and wait and see if something happens. You can see the little earbud just sits there waiting.

And then as the honey is level and it starts to head its way, you can see it. Thin little tongue unfurl. Um, kind of like a butterfly's tongue might furl out. Or a bee, if you like, zoom in on macro lens, you can see the bees like, their little, cute little mandible goes out and captures the nectar. Um, and that's what occurs as it pulls in.

And it eats a very minute amount before stopping.

You're, you're, you're, you're. You're good. Oh, okay. All right, and I put the back on and dig it in a satchel and put that, um Ah, she knows where I'm heading there. I'm gonna put it in my In the satchel with the honey, I guess.

And I head off to the Hall of Reckoning. Yeah, where do the little bugs like live? Do they live in our ears just forever? Do they live on us? To be used, they need to be in your ear. So they don't live in our ear? They just need to be in the ear to be used? Um, eventually if they're not in an ear, they will die.

Or try to reproduce, but when they're fed well, the problems don't seem to be a problem. They don't live in ears. When they're at the shopkeeper's place, she does have ears that she keeps them in as part of her aesthetic. Uh huh. But I hate it so much. It's The ear is the location from which it works. It will not work anywhere else.

And if you don't have it in, you will not hear messages sent through those. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Cool. Understood. So, um, Alua, the morning is yours, a cup of something warm in your hand, the weather is actually glorious, a few bits and pieces of the breakfast possibly tucked away for a snack as you're making the walk, or are you flying to the Hall of Records? What's the time difference?

Um, given the location, given the location of your home, it is a much quicker method to fly down. Um, you've, you've made most of this trip all the time flying up and down to the Skyway Strip, which is the most populous space to be. This is a quick trip. And then you're just going in a little bit of an extension over to the Hull Council.

So, um, by broomstick, quite quick. 5 to 10 minutes, maybe a little bit longer if there's a little bit of heavy air traffic or not a clear landing zone. Could be up to 20 minutes trip. Uh, on foot, maybe an hour's walk?

Maybe a little bit longer if there's a congestion issue, but And would it also be long for This time of morning the skyway strip is very rarely that full, so the biggest constraint on your traffic trip would be, uh, negated in this case. Um. Flying you would miss, walking by the fishmongers, and early morning errands of people.

Yeah, I'm actually gonna, I'm gonna walk with my ears open. Just listening for any, if there sounds like there's been any upset or concerns people whispering or, you know, just to see if anything kind of catches my attention as I walk by. Roll a perception check just to see if anything has

At the very least, you'll hear the newsies. Yeah, cause those are so reliable. Uh, twelve. X Tree, X Tree! Temple of the Ascended descends below ground! Lava pool forms and leaves nothing behind! The end of the world is nigh! X Tree, X Tree! Trading city, arriving soon! Prepare your wares! The end. X Tree, X Tree, ascended, uh, Citadel, gone forever!

Uh, uh, I need a better line for this because this is a terrible article. X Tree, X Tree, ascended, fleeing the city! X Tree, X Tree, ascended, fleeing the city!

In addition to the Newsies News, you, uh, also pick up Some more real news. Um, some people have actually purchased papers from one of the newsies and are finding out the truth about the, the temple, um, that it did not descend into a fiery lava based death. And they're, they're sharing back for the, wow, one of these temples, I always knew they were shoddy construction.

That sort of conversation is happening. Um, another piece of, of, um, News is with regard to, uh, the Wyvern's Venom and a new post by the Watch and the Watch has gone around and just warned people to be very cautious looking for signs of or symptoms of Wyvern's Venom poisoning. And, um, the there's also a lot of talk about how the city above is probably safe, but.

Those in under 10 might be at risk because the water, of course, does not go up, it goes down. And just a lot of folks who are like, oh, not our problem, not our worry. But you do see members of the under 10 community who, um, have errands or work in the over 10 neighborhoods kind of looking a little disgruntled and grumpy with these conversations.

Um, there's definitely beginning to be a. There always was a divide between Underton and Overton, but the tables have turned. Underton was the place of privilege, and it seems increasingly the place of those who don't have. To ascend in any form whatsoever, whether that's through an ascended temple and being ascended yourself, or just living on the surface, is seen as a much more privileged position than being in Underton these days.

Um, there are a few people who are talking about, um, those crazy young kids trying to make, uh, make Underton cool again with their lofted apartments. Um, but that is about all you hear. M M U C Maca? Mucca? Mucca. Muccas. Muccas. I'm going to go hide the camera.

Just what we need.

Sorry. Yeah. Drink it. There's very clearly, um, a city growth issue with regard to housing. And, and, um, things becoming more and more rare and hard to find. Mm.

It sounds familiar. It's always been a problem though, so it just sits in the background. You know. Ugh. Um. Okay. Um. I continue on my way. To Nicole De Records. And you make your way to the Hall of Council, where the Hall of Records is. Unlike before, where you kind of walk straight up to the governmental offices, you know that the Hall of Records is right inside the entrance and just to the right.

It is a big, huge edifice. Um, uh, a library slash accountant's office feel to it, rather than, um, And, uh, Seraphina, turning to you, uh, in your morning time after you wake up, would you have headed off or would you have done something with your parents in their new home before heading to the Hall of Records?

Um, no, I think I would have just done a general greeting. Maybe I'd breakfast with them if my dad was awake. And then headed out. Fed, fed my bug. Your mother was up early, um, getting ready for work. Uh, you, you do see that her outfit is very different from what she's worn before. Um, it looks like she's wearing silk.

Ooh. It's not working garb. It's not the garb of someone who's having to dig into dirt, magical or otherwise. Um, her nails look like they're finely trimmed. Um, almost like she's had a manicure recently. And, um, as she leaves, you notice her face looks a little smoother than it has in the past. And you realize that she's wearing makeup.

Oh, Mom! Hehehehe! You look good! Oh, thanks. It's the job. You have to, you know. It's not like the work I did before. And I'm learning a lot, and it's

Thank your friend for me. Yeah, yeah. Alright. Well, I gotta go. Um I, I, I'm gonna run back here. Thank goodness this is so close. Um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna run back here to, um, to check on your father. Can you check in on him occasionally? Yeah, of course. He sleeps most of the time, but, um, we should probably, I know we don't have the money for this, but, you know.

There's gotta be a way we could get somebody to check in on him occasionally. You're busy, and I'm busy, and, um, I just, I don't feel confident leaving him alone all day. Well, do, do you want to check in on, at lunch? And I can check in, you know, after that, or, should I check in on lunch? Yeah. How do you? No, no, that, that sounds great.

Wait. She kind of looks to the side like she just can't believe it. We have an hour lunch. Oooooh.

We have lunch. I know. Do you have your lunch? Do I need to make you something? I like run to the kitchen and try to like As you run back she's like, No, no, no, no, no, I'll come back, I'll take you I gotta feed your father. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Uh. Okay. Okay then. Alright, my dear, well, good luck with the investigations, um, I hope that business is going well, uh,

take care of yourself. I see you tonight, what, are you acting like I'm leaving forever? Well, it's just, it was good to have us all under the same roof again, well, most of all of us. under the same roof again. We're We'll all be together soon. We'll figure it out. She kind of reaches over and, and, and reaches for your hand.

There may come a time where we just have to move forward. I yank my hand out. I'm like, Nope! No, nope, nope. Nope. Dad's gonna be great, everyone's gonna come home, now you go to work. Start to like push her out the door, or towards the door. She goes out and um, she steps forward, forward really sprightly, um, do you continue to watch her as she goes?

Yeah. Yeah. You see that there's a point at which where she keeps herself from looking back? And her pace slows. And then she starts marching forward very determinately. I just yell after her. Woohoo! You got it hot, mama! Go have a good day of work! Bring home that bacon!

Roll a perception check really quick. Or actually, what's your, uh, what's your, um Passive? Passive. Passive perception. Uh, passive 15. You definitely notice after you shout hot mama, bring home the bacon, a number of men and women in this new neighborhood. Looking back at your mother, and then back to you.

Eyes off! Eyes off my mom! She's taken. She's got kids, alright? Your eyes are not for her. Two of the men nod to you, one of the women nods to you, and then you see a woman kind of pull herself together, and she starts walking in the direction your mother left, and giving you kind of like a scabbing like look.

Mm hmm.

Then I go, have a great day everyone and awkwardly close the door because I forgot we're in a new neighborhood. In case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night.

Close the door, you're back inside. And then I go, fuck, I gotta go outside.

You done flustered yourself. I don't know. Um, as you're sitting there inside, um, not moving forward, you can feel your, um, a little ball of a automaton. Weighing heavily in your pocket. Um.

Take it out. I wanna, I wanna work on you, I swear. I just need more time in the day. Roll a quick investigation check as you're looking at it. Oh gosh. Investigate. Oh, that's not very good. Because you didn't sing the song! That's because I didn't sing the song! Oh, but I have plus 11, so 14?

Um, you can tell that it's going to take some work to fix all the parts. Um, it could still be summoned and used in reduced capacity, but you can see something got lodged in it when it went to ball form. Mm. And when you do those repairs, you, it's kind of glimmering.

Some sort of crystalline lattice got trapped within that does not belong to the mechanical creation that you designed. Uh, uh, that will be top priority this evening to work on after Singalooa. Check. Write that down in my mental brain. Let's go. And I get up. As finally you break free of your internal procrastination and embarrassment about what occurred outside and you step out

seemingly very intentionally. There are very few faces looking in your direction, but it seems like it's only just been that switch. Like the moment the door started. To open it all, that's when the faces were averted. And your hairs on the back of your neck, along your arms and your back, everyone seems to be looking at you without looking at you.

You are the new people in the new neighborhood. The storefront just to the left. Cooking smells coming from it. You head across. Are you going to take How are you getting to the Hall of Council? I was just going to walk. Give myself enough time to get there walking. Uh, and I'm going to do an awkward little like, shuffle walk and just go, Do do do do!

Nothing to see! Do do do do! Get out of here! Um, you have to walk around the Crystal Cliffs. to get there because it's on the opposite side of the city but the crystal cliffs are in your way um but even as you start walking you're not familiar with this part of the city this this neighborhood so you just try to beeline it like you know that it's directly this way so you walk directly towards the crystal cliffs and as you get towards the crystal cliffs and realize you're to walk all the way around this big mega neighborhood you see a fairy Pulling up.

You've heard of this fairy. It's the fairy that goes from the Undercroft to the Fishmongers and the Hollow Council. It's a passenger fairy.

We have the best luck. Gonna walk over to the fairy.

Um How convenient. Yes. So, going under the Cracksite crowds. On the little ferry, you get a different view of the crackside crowds. In the crackside crowds and from the shoreline looking at the crackside crowds, it's this uh, monopoly of tents and sails and balloons and other things that all looking like a big huge party.

Underneath it are various portholes where things are disposed of and you see the smears of Sewage and other things. It's the underside of the Cragside crowds and it's part of why the Undercroft is as undesirable as it is, is that they get the refuse of the, um, floating portion of the city that is, uh, where the rest of the populace lives.

Um, But eventually you come out to the other side to bright sunlight, um, you can hear seagulls in the distance, and, uh, then not so distantly as they all take off at the same time, because a larger bird of prey, something that's a fire, has invaded their zone as they all flock up into the air, making a loud cacophonous noise, um, and that's when your ferry kind of pulls up into the other dock, the dock that is the Hullo Council dock.

And seeing the long stretch of the causeway before you, you make your way eventually to a side entrance to the Hall of Council itself. Um, and across the plaza you can see Ulua just about to enter the Hall of Records. Oh! I run up behind her, but secretively. Roll a stealth check. Ulua, roll a perception check.

Stealth. Okay. Roll better, please. Eh. Oh, is that a Okay. Plus Okay. Mine's okay. If my passive perception is higher, can I use that? Nope. Not for this situation. It's only one higher. Hold on, Lemon. Waha! 22! 17, 18, 19, 20, 21! Seraphina. Given the difference between those two numbers, give me the story of you being sneaky.

Alright, so, I go up to her, and at first I'm just trying to like, be sneaky. And just, cause she's super aware all the time, so I know as soon as I get up close to her, she's gonna notice me. But she doesn't. So, then I do, like, then I just like walk behind her, and try to walk how she walks. Which I'm sure is very sexy and then I feel stupid so then I stop and then and then I go and I stand next To her hoping that like, you know, she'll sense me next to her and then maybe she doesn't so that I jump out in front of her I go, ahhh!

Jesus! Jesus. Huh. Who's that? I don't know, it's just the noise I made. It just seemed to work. Huh. You, uh, you good this morning? You in your head a little bit? I just, I, I had an interesting conversation with Axanna. And She had a very She had a new piece of jewelry that was obviously some sort of communication gadget.

And all I could think of was how you would love to probably take a look at it and examine it. But I don't know if she'd ever allow that. But she just seemed very Off she trying to talk to? She's, she's keeping her secrets. Which she has every right to do. But It's just weird because we used to kind of just be in this what we're doing now together and I don't know if she's just kind of moved on without me or I don't know it.

I don't know. I, I, I, I don't know if I should be worried, or offended, or if I'm just being silly. Hmm. You're definitely not being silly. Um, you should, uh, what would my mom say? What would my mom say? Uh, talk to them! That's what you should do. I mean, I can understand if you don't want to, because, uh, why voluntarily go up to someone to have a hard conversation with them, but, you know, that's what you should do.

Yeah, that's, if I could, I mean, she's already, she was in a rush, but she made me breakfast. I just, she's a walking contradiction. Wait, she, uh, do you like it when people make you breakfast? I mean, she Distracted me in order to do it. I said it was fine. So she kind of, because, you know, I cook did it anyways.

I mean, I have never actually tried to cook before, but you know, it's recipes just like a, like a, you just follow it and I'm gonna, following things to. Things I could cook for you. I mean, if you'd like, we could Well, I mean, I lo I love to cook. So, we could I like to eat! But no, no, no, wait, I was gonna cook for you.

Well, what I was gonna Cause I'm a great cook. Really good. Just Assuming I am. Uh, well, what I I was going to say is we could Try cooking together And then I could show you at least my favorite recipes and then you would know them and then you, and you could see if you like them and then if you do, you can make them for yourself for practice.

If I, I don't know. Um, should we, I am now a little uncomfortable. Uh, would you like to go inside? Yes. That's what I was just going to say. And I awkwardly turn around.

For those listening at home. I'mma make you tell them, because that's all you. Roll for awkward flirting. Oh wait, the natural one's that. I mean, I would be willing. Seraphina's awkwardness rubs off onto Ulua. You'd think it would do the reverse. Like, you'd think Seraphina would get really cool. Nah, a little bit gets weird.

Well, the thing is, is there's a difference between when it's, when it's For work? Yes. Yes. You know, there's a certain amount of like preparation and forethought that goes into it, but this is all spontaneous. So after Seraphina says that she is now uncomfortable, she turns around and starts to walk in and just I think she's talking in her head and is not, and she's like, That was embarrassing.

I can't cook. I should keep my mouth shut. Okay, here we go. Just like, out loud pep talk that should have been in her brain and it was not. And Ulua just kind of watches her go with, like, hearing

it and not realizing, I mean, realizing that she, she's talking to herself, but giving her space so that she isn't more embarrassed to realize that she's not saying it to herself. And then, uh, It's also a highly strategic method in case the relationship goes anywhere, where if you never let her know that she talks out loud to herself, you'll always get to know her thoughts without war effort.

It is a telepathy spell waiting to happen without the telepathy spell. That feels a little manipulative, but okay. You enter the Hall of Records, a labyrinthine place. You enter the Hall of Records, a labyrinthine place. filled with towering bookshelves groaning under the weight of leather bound tomes and files and such.

Navigating this maze is definitely not somebody's favorite thing to do. The air hangs heavy with dust and the scent of aging paper and you see at a small desk a fairly grumpy looking gnome. Forest gnome. Busily organizing a crate. Looks like one of the tasks of the reception gnomes is to take small portions of the record library and make sure everything is organized properly.

I guess I arrive to the desk first. Ease. And I walk up and I go, Good morning! Good! Good! Yeah, I'm sure for you it's good. You look like you haven't been stuck in here all morning. I could use a break. Thank god you're here. I lean in and I go, My morning has not been great. As well. Oh. Well. But I stand up and smile.

Okay, well, um. Now that we've both had horrible mornings, and you're at least here to distract me from mine. Not horrible, just embarrassing. Um, I, I, I'm a I walk up. Hello!

Hello! Um, hi. Are you, are you, are you her morning? Yes. And I just kind of look over. What? What? I I don't know why that would be horrible, but I'm so excited I told you it wasn't horrible! But it was horrible. I was horrible. Morning! Great. Beautiful. Stellar.

The little gnome looks up at you, Ulua. Has kind of been looking up at Seraphina, but like the look that it gives you is, we should talk. Okay. Um. Ulua, by the way. Yes, I saw you following your, uh, friend in. Mm hmm. Um. So, we. Um, we are I'm Scribble. Hi. Yes. As You're Scribble as in you're scribbling something right now?

Like on paper? No. My name is Scribble. My elbow is there. It's a lovely name. I just It's another word for something. It was nice to meet you, Ulua, and Horrible morning. Seraphina. Ah, thank you. Well, thank you for distracting me from my chore. Please tell me you're here to ask for more. That rhymed, and I do not like it.

Take it back before I throw a Grrrr. A hat! Yes. Thank you. Um, s so, We are What do you mean, more? More. You, you just said to, to bring you more? Yes, I mean, if all you're here is to, like, chit chat with me, it's gonna quickly devolve into my supervisor and you hear, like, thunk, thunk, thunk, getting here before you give me something more interesting to do.

No, no, no, we're, we're here. We're, we have a, we have a reason. We're not, I mean, it's very lovely to meet you, but, um, Yes, very lovely to meet you as well. Yes. What do you need? You need something very complex, I am sure. Yes, we are looking for, and I, I kind of, um, I'm on, uh, Larissa is on unsure how to verbalize, uh, the records that we are given access to or, or, or bring granted access to.

I'm not sure. Yeah. You have a note from, um. Sticky Beak, and it just says you've been granted access, so I'm going to, I'm just going to pull out the note and say we've been granted access to, and then I read out exactly what Sticky Beak, because I don't Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes. I have to find the clipboard. I have to find the clipboard.

It's going to take me a moment to find the clipboard. Thank you. No. And he scrabbles Before he Ah, dang it. He No, nothing. You're about to interrupt him right away. No, this is not good. He scrabbles behind a towering case of some Scribble scrabbles. Scribble scrabbled around the corner and you hear cthunking noises.

You hear, um, scrabble scribble's voice and then another, um, very high pitched voice and then scribble comes back around the corner. Ha! Ha ha ha ha. That was a quick one. for it.

It's too early for this. Okay. Uh, You're on this list. Not by your names. Associates of sticky beak. That makes sense. Given that you have a letter. Well, that's interesting. But right this way, right this way and he just kind of like almost looks like he dives into the side of the little desk where he's at.

Where you just see piles of books, but on the other side, he comes around, like, around the desk, and he's right there in front of you, like, I'LL WRITE, WRITE THIS WAY, WRITE THIS WAY, WRITE THIS WAY. After you. Yes, that's how Write This Way works. I'm just confirming. Don't get lost. We'll do our best to keep up.

He zips up a staircase. I grab Seraphina's hands and I like, yoink her after. Okay, yoinking. I need you both to roll dexterity checks. You can choose to use specialty dexterity checks if you think it will help you. As Scribble takes you up into and around and through the Hall of Records. If you fail this particular check, you will lose sight of Scribble.

Okay. Which will result in new checks. Okay. It's Scribble versus you. Hang on, um

I got an unnatural 20. I like this new die. Someone got it for me. I think it was I'm not sure. Is it one of the, is it the set that they gave us before they left? It's the, it's the single red metal hollow bit. That's the, that's the one that, uh, we got with our random thing from NYCC this past year. That's what it was.

From Jason's, Jason's pack. Um. It's rolling pretty well. Except when it's not. Okay. Alright, um. Dex. Dex. Dex. Dex. Dex. Dexy Motherfucker! Not so much. Dex. Dex. Dex. Dex. Dex. Dex. Dex. I was really hoping Yeah! Nine.

You, Ulua, Pull Seraphina into place and she just darts after Scribble. It's like, oh, this is what we're Run. And as Seraphina leaps to it and begins following Scribble, uh, down a twisted hallway, up another set of stairs a little, you're keeping up. And then suddenly you're at a landing and you don't see either of them.

What do you do when you can't find either of them? Uh, I am going to Can I still message? Because they're within range, 120 feet, right? If you think they're still within range, yeah, go for it. Okay. Y'all sound like a fuck now. Nibi, are you wearing it? Yeah. Am I wearing it? Is it actively in my ear? I don't know.

Let's see. Neither of you said that this morning. Yeah, we neither you narrate that particular portion, it's not in existence. Then no, it's not in my ear. Um. It's not there. Well, the minute I lose sight big enough deal about it now that I actually expect you to stick it in your ears before I'm gonna count it.

The only one who's free of that right now is Gus. Um Well, you had to make it a Eater Brains, okay? So there might be, there might be a reason behind the hesitation of putting it in our ears. Magical things should have consequences. In this world? Uh, ha! Ah! Okay, anyways, um, the instant I would've lost the second, I would've Use message, and I'm going to say, I'm at, I'm at the landing.

I do a quick description. Uh, which way did you go next? Seraphina, you are scrambling after Scribble. You get this message. You know you can reply to it. But you only have a few seconds to share accurate instructions. Is there any special way in which you're trying to do this, or do you simply give verbal Um, yes.

Let's see if there's something I can do. Oh! Uh Wait, can I do Hold on, hold on, hold on. No, this is a This is a this thing. Okay. So I have to Um Choice

Nope, cause that takes time to do that. Uh Shoot. Thought I had something. I

Um Let's cover hidden languages. Dang, I thought I had something. I guess I don't have what I thought I did. Can I? Okay. Oh, I feel so Trapped. Lost. Um, is the way we're going have, like, is it something I can say? Like, oh, left then a right, straight. Sure, go ahead and roll an intelligence check to see if you're able to articulate something.

And then, Seraphina, let's cut that. So, Ulua, I'll have you roll a survival check and we'll see if those things work out. That's okay. Let's see what I get to add. Intelligence.

Oh wait, no, that's Wait, which skill? You said intelligence, right? Yeah, just intelligence check. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, check. Uh, plus four, three, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen Seventeen? Okay. Cool. Sorry. I got distracted. What am I rolling? A survival. Right, okay. I also have keen mind, I just want to point that out, that reminder.

Yeah, it depends on how good her instructions are. Uh. Sorry, I got distracted by a meme. Twelve. Choice. You try to track back, do you think you're on the right track? Um,

but you kind of slow because she said left, or did she say right? There's no left or right. There's like kind of left and kind of right and straight ahead. Okay. But. I under, I understand the role for that. You, you like know what her directions were, but like the, the place that she provided directions for isn't quite lining up with the directions.

Okay.

Alright. Uh, well I'm gonna message her and say, Okay, well, I'm lost, so I'm just going to sit here.

And then I will say back, I will learn where they are, and then come get you. Sounds good. Okay, so you continue to find, following Scribble. I'm gonna try. As you're following him, I would like for you to roll another, um, Actually, because you've been like, communicating and it's like, pulling just a little bit of your attention away, Um, you realize that Scribble is getting a little too far ahead, which could result in totally losing him.

But you see a place where you can kind of like, jump and grab onto a pole, kind of like swing yourself around and skip a whole bunch of steps, and have a higher chance of sticking with him. Um, so go ahead and roll an acrobatics check just to see if like, Do this thing. Okay, acrobatics.

Fifteen? You are able to grab a hold and swing yourself around just in time to see Scribble right in front of you. Stopped, looking at you, blinking. Where's your friend? You're going too fast. She lost you. Well, call her. Call her over here. She doesn't know how to get here.

I try to give her directions, but I guess I'm bad at it. Uhhhhhh You're very fast. Incredibly fast. I would, if I had just like the smallest bit of critique, would be to, uh, not go so fast. when you're showing people where to go. Otherwise, I think you're great. You're doing a great job. I mean, I obviously kept up with you, so, like, you and I are on the same page, but, like, some people, like, her, you know, maybe they're just slower.

They just can't go as fast. Not

Just a second. Stay here. Okay. Stay here. Why? Because I hate you. Sorry. Scribble, scribble, scrambles away. Uh, and you hear, you hear, uh, Ulua's voice. A little distantly as Scribble comes over. Oh, sorry. We lost you. Your friend was keeping up quite well. You're big. You don't fit. She doesn't fit either. Yes, um, Uh, keep up with me this time?

I can try, but it would be helpful if you Excellent. I'll leave messages behind as you go, you just keep following the sound of my voice. And he scrambles off and you, and as he goes, he points to various corners and you can hear his voice just repeating itself for a little while at each turn that he's made, it's like, go right, go right, go right, go right, go right.

And it starts to fade as you get past it. That's what I was trying to do, but, uh, to, uh, Thaumaturgy. And each time he redoes this little effect, it lasts for a little bit, And you can continue to follow him as he's very actively trying to leave the path of breadcrumbs behind, um, and uh, you know, you go up, go up, go up, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, go up, go up, go up, go up, and as each fades out you just are, it's much easier for you to keep up.

And eventually you're there with Seraphina and he's twiddling his thumbs. Okay. You're both here. This is the spot. Uh, Locked doors or unlocked doors? What does that mean? Do you need privacy or do you need public? I think given the nature of private. Excellent, this way. And as he says this way, all the doors that are unlocked, closed.

As he also is managing that part of the space and he comes to a door. This will be your office. I'll bring your materials by shortly. And after I do, I'll hand you the key. Please return the key to me at the desk below so that I can, um, take care of things, but you will be the only ones with the key whatsoever.

Even in an emergency and the hall of records explodes, um, here that's been happening lately in the city, I just know that you are the only ones who can unlock and relock this door. While you hold the key, and, um, yeah, so if you become incapacitated, you will now have a tombstone, uh, or a mausoleum, or, uh, hmm, I don't really know what it's called, but the thing where you, like, put people who aren't alive, Cause nobody else will be able to get you.

Alright, see you later. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Oh, oh, yeah, what's that? Go ahead, you first, Ulua. I was just saying tomb. Did you say tomb? Tomb. Ah, yes, yes, yes. It would be a tomb. Yes. That's a great descriptor. Oh. Also, uh, you will be charged post mortem with stealing government, because we can't retrieve the materials, but government property.

Noted. Just be careful. Generally, nobody has a problem with this. Yes. How long can we have the key? Till the end of time. So like, we could come and go to study these, this information? Do you need to do that? I would prefer that you return to me so I can use the room for other people. I'm just saying like, if we need like a week to study.

We can always come back. We don't need to. In lieu of a trip to Pernambuco. If you need a week to study, I would prefer to In lieu of a trip to Pernambuco. If you would like to. I would prefer to be able to pull the, the, the evidence file back in our locked vault because there are other investigators, they may need access to it and um, this, this document that I have on this does not have a, a, a clause around exclusivity to the evidence, so it should be shared as need arises.

So, like, we're not going to lose access to this information? Um, if you do something horrible against the state or the city, uh, if you, uh, kill somebody, uh, uh, pillage something, I'm sure that there's chances of losing access. Uh, I'm not up to all the legalities. I am an archivist, not a legal aid. Um, so just Don't do stupid things like pick people's pockets, I guess?

Okay He checks his pockets All right Be right back. And you're left alone for a few moments in the room while he retrieves the records What is in this room just like a normal study room like a table and some chairs? It looks like a, um, have you ever been to a rare book room? Yes, actually. You know, it's that type of space.

There's gloves available for handling delicate things. There's materials, uh, ways to hold things. Um, various materials carefully. Um, you also see that, um, in small size, there are, um, glyphs and such of warding that could probably be activated to keep an object contained within or to perform an experiment.

Um, and there's some various spell components and things like that. It looks like maybe the opposite of your workshop, Seraphina, where it's a lot of things all over the place, but in places, you know, this is, you know, A lot of things, but almost excruciatingly, meticulously organized that could be used to examine, um, records and archives.

Goodness. Um, as you kind of like peruse the room and, and, and find, uh, seats that would be okay, he comes back in with two large boxes of, um, Um, evidence, um, All right, uh, here is your key. He hands that to you, Ulua, and this is all of the evidence available. Uh, there was another box down there, but it's, was marked as classified and your clearance doesn't cover for that, uh, apologies, uh, probably wasn't even supposed to share that much.

Have a great day. And he turns and walks out and he Despite all the, like, high frequency moves before, he's walking really slowly back to his task. You know, if you walk people to where they're going that slowly, you have to work less.

His shoulders hunch, and he walks even more slowly.

Act your wage! Don't do more! Wage?

Oh, you're muted! Sorry, I was typing. I was actually taking down notes for once. Um, but, uh, I was just saying as, as he responds wage, I go, Oh, I really hope he gets paid. Yeah. But if he doesn't, I suppose that would explain a lot. Yeah.

Yeah. So do you lock the door and get to work or? Abuse. Uh, so at first glance, looking at the materials and kind of going through it, it does take you quite a long time to get through it. Um, the official report paints this picture as a tragic accident. Um, and you knew that that's what the official report was trying to do in general.

Um, Grand, according to the record, uh, tripped and fell from a balcony overlooking his lab and succumbed to his injuries. But as you look at it, you see a lot of inconsistencies with this. The story doesn't match up to any of the evidence whatsoever. Um, the balcony is, um, not even in the right location for most of the descriptors.

And, um, the lab space doesn't have a balcony. Over it, or under it, or in it. And, um, some of the descriptors they have along with like things like time of death and stuff like that don't align with the timeline that you're aware. Um, You can see that there's a lot of these inconsistencies as you look through it, but you can also see that there are some notes here.

Um, difficult to decipher. So if somebody is looking at these, um, there's some faint margin, faint marking markings in the margins. Um, so if anybody wants to try to figure those out, you're more than welcome to. Um, if anybody wants to try to see if anything's being obfuscated in other ways, you can try that.

There are a couple of material evidence items that were actually at the accident that could be investigated in and of themselves. Um, so there's a lot of, of pieces here that you could investigate in different ways. Uh, what would you like to do? Would somebody like to hit up the documents themselves and look for the, The things that look like they were removed from the documents.

Um, would somebody like to look at the evidence itself? What's going on? What's possible? I have two thought processes, if Larissa doesn't mind me going first before I forget them. The first one being is I want to try to write down, or if I can do it quick enough, figure out the, the like, coding that they have you were talking about.

The like, notes. The weird notes that were added. Um, I also want to see if I can figure out who wrote up the reports. Like, who had access to writing all this so that, uh, we could possibly go talk to them and be like, you wrote this. Did you lie? Maybe not that, but, you know, if we go to who wrote it, shake them up a bit, maybe we could figure out who paid them or something to lie on the report.

Do you say that out loud? No. Those are the two things that I, Jessica says to Rurik as the two kind of things I want to do. So you could either roll an Arcana check or a Perception check. Okay. So, I'm doing perception. Twenty two. On that perception. Twenty two. Oh, because you have advantage on perception checks.

That's why you did that? Yes. I thought you were going to do an arcana check because you have a plus eight to that. But, given that you did a perception check, you can make out that there was a mirror. It's what, like the markings do? A mirror of recording. at the actual site of the murder. And they have records from that mirror of recording that indicate that there was a slender tiefling with piercing eyes kind of slipping through a doorway near the space in which Grand was actually murdered at.

They were able to extract that from the mirror of recording. Along with a, um, tall elven individual. The two of them were working together or coordinating together, and somehow they're at the time of the murder. A tiefling and an elven.

Perfect. Murder. What makes you think it was murder? Because I was there! Sorry. Uh. As far as the person, because you did perception, you don't see anything that indicates who this is. Mm. Mm. Okay. Um, Ulua. Um, well, similar to, to what I, I think I observe Seraphina doing, what I want to do is I want to make note of all of the inconsistencies.

Yeah, you definitely see a lot of different inconsistencies because, what? I can't hear the, ah. No, we can't hear it at all. Um, you see a lot of inconsistencies because the evidence described is not the evidence in these boxes. Um, you see that there's pieces of wood that, that could have been a banner except looking at it, you know that that, the material of this wood is what.

Um, honestly, similar to what StickyBeak uses in terms of his, um, self defense tool as a private investigator, this is a common, uh, tool of those who, uh, don't intend to kill someone, but need the tool of defense to protect themselves while they're doing their work. So, it's not what, like, a gang might have that actually intends harm, but it's also not what the City Watch has.

It's something that's It's in between something that could be used less harmfully. Um, so it reminds you of like what Sticky Beak uses and other PIs often use. Um, it actually even reminds you a little bit of like what Gus uses. Gus has a big, huge staff and with a magnifying glass on top. But you, the material of this wood is not what you would put into a banister.

Just, it's not even shaped right for that. So that doesn't match up. Um, you can also see, uh, as you look through the evidence, that there's something just completely, something's just not even in the evidence that's being described in the report. Um, but then there's other pieces of material that aren't documented in any way.

Like, you're looking at objects that just aren't in the report.

Uh, can I make a list of those things? Yeah, easily. I'm done. I'm mostly, I'm just looking at it from like a, like taking notes in order to, in case we get access to the scene, to kind of cross check those ourselves and see. Um, and then, So there isn't a name on the report at all as to who wrote it? Not that you can see by looking at it.

How are you going about looking for the, for a name or a I mean, from my understanding, my very, very, very, very limited understanding of how actual reports work in the real world, is there's always, like, it's filed by So and so's name at the top of the report. Oh, there's a file by scribbles No, no, no the report on the report not the file Different not a thing written there.

It's a blank big huge discrepancy interesting Then what I would like to do is it handwritten the report it is handwritten And as you're touching it, there is a tingle. There's a tingle. Uh Tingle is good. Tingle means something. Yeah, but I'm not the the magic y one, really. Uh, Seraphina, can you Put, and I just kind of grab her hand and, uh, put it down, like, underneath mine where the, where I felt the tingle.

You feel that? All too familiar tingle of something that has magic infused in it.

Do you feel that?

Seraphina's just blushing and can't comprehend anything because Ulua's hand is on top of hers. And with that, Seraphina blushing deep crimson. And Ulua trying to get to a solution here. Uh, we end this episode on the cusp of discovering something possibly really important, but who knows? We may never know.

Next time on Probability of My Eyes, find your pod. We hope you do. Like, subscribe, share with your friends. Like, subscribe, share. And bye! Okay, bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!