Probability of Demise

Welcome adventurers to Probability of Demise, the podcast where critical fumbles meet critical facepalms. Join us as we delve into the darkest dungeons, slay the stupidest gremlins, and roll enough ones to make a beholder weep. Forget epic storylines and heroic deeds. Here we celebrate the chaotic beauty of bad roles, questionable decisions, and characters with more charisma than sense.

We'll be your dungeon masters of disappointment, guiding you through campaigns where the only guaranteed treasure is a mountain of laughter, and maybe some psychic scarring. So grab your nat 1 dice, strap on your anxiety helmets, and prepare to witness the glorious trainwreck that is our D and D journey.

Because, in the end, it's Even if your character dies face first into a pile of pudding, at least you'll have the Dice God's permission to laugh your ass off.

Welcome back to probability demise and you are so excited to meet our new character, the gnoll named Buffy, um, Gus was eaten by her, um, so Gus won't be here today, um, Seraphina is like literally in turbulence somehow, she bounced down, uh, But, welcome back! Look at that doggie. Aww. Aww. She's so cute. Well, I feel like you have to do the Word of the Day to this dog now, and she's gonna give you all the sassy attitude that the doggie does.

Oh, nevermind, she's leaving. She doesn't want to steal the spotlight. Word of the Day! Sorry! Do it again! No! I liked it. You do you. If anyone can steal my spotlight, it's Buffy. Yeah, I just didn't want to do it over the, the, the No, it's perfect. Yeah, I liked it. Alright. So, hello everyone. Welcome to another wonderful, uh, rendition?

Rendition sounds good to me. Rendition of the word of the day, once again brought to you by my amazing D100 that I got from Jason, who's not here. So, thanks Jason! If you could hear me in the atmosphere. So we've already rolled and today I have rolled a 52. And with that, today's word is

I'm pretty sure that I haven't used except for writing them all down. Today's word is lachrymose, which is tearful, which is like tearful or being weepy, uh, used in a sentence. Uh, The Bard's Lacrimose Ballad brought tears to the eyes of the entire tavern, as even the toughest warriors were moved by the Sorrowful, S S Sorrowf Sor How do I say this word?

Sorrowful. That word! Tail. It's, it's like, it's like uh, that word in um, I can't talk today. In Fighting Nemo it's like, See no anime

I can't, I can't, I was like, how do I, how do I say this word? Cool. That's actually a new word for me too. No, just in general. Well, for everyone, uh, it is spelled L A C H R Y M O S E.

So little music nerd moment for you. Um, there's a very famous piece of music that you might recognize as probably underlying Moments in movies that shares. So, uh, it's Remos you said. So no song.

Mm-Hmm. . That's a perfect. There you go folks. We even got a musical explanation. . So shares a rootin. Uh, a Rootin. A Ri. A Rootin. A Rootin. Tootin. Are you Tootin Rootin. Black Root . Jesus, Mary Joseph. I'm sorry. Uh, I'm, I am only about that far into my coffee. So. I apologize. And it's hilarious because we're further in the future than Rurik is and they're fine.

I know. I know. I don't know. Well, I may be further in the future, but we probably woke up around the same time. I woke up at four this morning, which would be seven your time. Yep. I woke up at seven. Sure did. Mm hmm. Yeah. Like you're a responsible adult. You have things to do. Dogs to feed, um, boyfriends to send off.

Absolutely. I was up at that time. Sure was. Yeah, see? Totally. We've been up about the same number of hours. Uh, did any of you walk by the ocean? Consider diving in because It seemed like an insane thing to do and you were watching other people do it and wondering if they were freezing. Thank you for joining us on Probability of Demise, the podcast that is the best because you liked, subscribed and left comments every single day that I reply to because I'm really good at that.

I'm so good at that. In fact, that my current section of comments that have not been replied to is zero because I am so good at that

and I will keep that up for as long as possible. That brings us into Our session today, and what has occurred. Ulua, Seraphina, you have exited these shops, you've collected supplies. Seraphina, you have a plan to decide which things go where in your tightly bound set of gear. Uh, but Ulua, you have, uh, um, a newfound respect for your future furniture decorator, possibly.

Uh, sounds like you. You actually did not discourage that connection, which I remain surprised by. But True to what needs to happen with the collapse of the temple. I believed I said I would be in touch. Yes, but you've opened the window. If the window doesn't stay open, there's always the chimney. The windows will remain firmly locked.

If the chimney does not work, we will drill down from below. And somebody's bedroom.

I'm on the top floor, bitch. Go ahead. Try. Gotta get through a couple other people first. We have just witnessed the collapse of the temple, or at least the final moments of it. And Seraphina, you see Your construct sitting at the middle, a last remaining column being pounded down to dust.

Sticky beak Has a letter in your pocket, Ulua, Handed to you by way of a courier who's not, not truly the way that those messages typically get passed, and a floating city at the horizon Slowly draws nearer and nearer. Grand's brand's death remains It's a mystery to be resolved and solved, and While your primary objective has been deciphering the different things that you have going on with relationship to that, then you do have possibly new information that could be supportive of this.

We also have this now collapsed temple and you could potentially investigate the rubble for any remaining clues or hidden chambers that survived the collapse, which could lead to further discoveries about the, uh, cult leaders and their motives. You also have the information that you've kind of garnered around the Ascended Threat.

And, also maybe a little bit of caution has crept into your thinking, I'm not certain, but these are powerful people, so they might choose to send assassins or sow discord within the city, targeting you, or other things that could hinder you, since I think at this point, It has become a little bit clearer to them that you are at the heart of the investigations.

And so, your construct in the middle of the temple, Seraphina, uh, members of the watch surrounding it, holding back curious looker loos, um, other folk have fled. Um, you know, it's an interesting thing that happens when city destruction occurs. Some come to see and investigate, and many choose to flee. and survive.

But there the two of you are, and Gus. And even as you stand there, and Seraphina may be still contemplating if you want to even let it be known that, uh, your little machine is The cause of this chaos, or just walk away. Who knows? Um, you all have some decisions to make and you hear a whispered conversation going on behind you, uh, where Gus is standing, talking to someone.

Didn't we say two?

I don't know, Maximo, what was his name? Was that his name? That was not his name. It was? To Maximo, wasn't, didn't I say, like, Oh, The, the, the things were leaking, we tried to stop the toxins. Yeah, like, we did report back. You shared that information with him. Maybe not the specifics of your constructs continuing, because you weren't aware.

Right. I mean, can Can I Can you Sorry. Yeah. Is this a verbal thing? How do I control this, homie? Let's see. I believe that is up to you.

It is your creation, after all. Um, I was gonna say, can't you just kind of instruct it to go somewhere else and then you can, like, Well, it can just go back into its little ball. I think. Like, that's how I formed him, was, you know, he was just a little ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying, in terms of retrieval It would just be a ball in the middle of rubble.

Yeah. Or would you be collecting this call if you move him offsite? I mean, that also could, people could like is is the Maximo anywhere around? Yeah. They're currently working crowd control as a group. Them and the other watch folks and more watch people are arriving even as you see this go on. Oh, I have an idea.

I wish. Okay, I'll just go, go tell Maximo he's mine to have him stop. Well, yeah, but, yes, so, um, if you go up and you say, okay, can we just, you know, that was my thing. I was trying to, you know, collapse the tunnel to prevent the spread of the toxin. Um, but, uh, if I have him come over to you guys and, uh, go back in his ball and you pick him up, can you give him to me, like, later?

And then. That way it'll look like they're, either they're capturing the culprit, or he, he's their responsibility. You know what I mean? Instead of it getting traced to us directly.

Because there are bystanders, yes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this went from a busy temple area, there were still the casual protesters who were, you know, like, Numbers have dwindled, so there's like five of them with their signs kind of tossed to the side now staring at the collapsed temple. One of them is just cheering excitedly because he's definitely happy to see the end of whatever his personal grievances were with this particular location.

Um, There's other ones who are just, you know, like shopkeepers and folks who are like, a major building in their neighborhood just collapsed. So it's, it's a measure of concern. And some of them are looking at the other temples and just kind of giving them double looks of like, Ooh, is this under threat of collapse?

So then, yeah, I'm going to run over to Maximo.

Uh, go, Maximo! Hey! We haven't actually Totally, but, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah, he, he's, he's, he's mine. He's the one that was trying to stop the, the flow of polluting water. He's harmless. Okay, well, he's, he's, he's collapsed the whole temple, so maybe not so harmless, but he was I think that was from the explosion.

And then he just, he was just helping, you know. The explosion it caused, or the one that you were trying to stop? That one. He did cause an explosion. Okay, so, just for clarity, it looks like he caused everything. Yeah, that's why I'm talking to you. Okay. You can blame it on him. Make him stop. I just, I want you to know, yeah.

Can I, that's, and then, I'm thinking, is this something I can just like, Decide? It's up to you what your relationship is with this construct. Yeah.

Do you have a verbal discourse with this creation? Is it by power of your will? Do you, like, is it part of, like, a cantripy thing where you just constantly, like, do little things when you want to communicate with it? What is this Is it fully out of your control? No, no, no, I was thinking more along the lines of like, remote control, uh, but very Okay, so you like have some gadget?

Very li yeah, very limited, like. Turn on, turn off. Like, that's all I've created thus far. So you whip out your gadget. And then I, you know, verbally will command him once he's opened up. Okay. So you whip out your gadget. I don't know if that's allowed. Yeah. It's your creation. You get to be in charge of this.

You make the rules, Jess! Yeah. Take charge. So I'm gonna go to maximum and be like, This is all I've made thus far. Okay, what's the off button? What do I push? He reaches and he pushes the off button that you point to. Was that the right button? Yeah, yeah. Okay, we watch as the construct pounding away at like the nub of a column that's all that's left.

Fire, small little fires and coals burning in different little places. Little poofs of gas escaping what we can consume by fires before they can spread. And the construct just starts folding in on itself. The different metal pieces, one part shears off because it had gotten a little too bent and both of the, the, the fist modules seem to just, like, fall away because they're just all damaged beyond belief, but the construct itself folds into this crumpled, a little bit less, worse for wear, ball.

Uh, should I? I'll get it. You, you stay here. Can I just have him, can I have him back? But this way it looks like, you know, you're controlling the situation, you know, and you have him, but can I have him back? Roll a Persuasion check. Okay. Okay.

Persuasion. No, I don't like you right now, because you're mean. She's talking to the dice, not me. You, you, not you.

Okay, okay, okay. Persuasion.

Um, that's not great. I thought it would be better. Fourteen. 14's not bad. You're working with like a city watch person as well. Normally we would melt down, uh, and, and absorb the energies of malfunctioning magic, but, um. But he's not, he's not malfunctioning. Yeah. Um, but I need to make it look like I did, so, um.

You, you can, you can stomp on him, he's pretty strong, you know? Just give him a little stomp, and just be like, ah! That's not how magical, don't worry. But it'll look cool. Don't watch what I'm about to do. And he turns and he marches up to this little wall. And you watch as Roll an intelligent saving throw.

Oh gosh. Saving throw, saving throw. Lula, you can also roll an intelligence saving throw if you would like to. I mean, would I? That's not great. Would you be paying attention enough? Would you have feelings? Yes. I just

Intelligence. Okay. Sixteen. Okay. Lula?

Alua, I'm going to describe this from your perspective. Seraphina, don't react yet. Ulua, you watch Maximo walk up and begin to tear apart the little metal ball through some sort of arcane magic that melts it down into a molten lead that then suddenly re solidifies as a slab and he sticks it He announces to everyone, The magic is contained.

This temple was condemned anyways. All is well. The city will be about clean up shortly. And then he walks back over. Seraphina, you watch the entire time as he has this illusion cast over the ball and makes it look like it's become liquid. And you watch this liquid illusion happening while he continues to hold the ball.

And then he puts something in his pocket. You see nothing going into his pocket because he's just holding this ball in his hand. And he walks up to you and quietly tries to hand it to you. Could I have you roll a sleight of hand check? Meanwhile, Ulua's face is just

Horrified. It's a lot of hair. It's a lot of hair. So, oh, this is really good. It's a lot of hair. It's a lot of hair. 35! Ulua, if you would like to roll a perception check, you can, but you'll have to beat her high roll there. And I think because you're distracted by the The melting of her construct. I'm gonna have you roll it with disadvantage.

Because the illusion did fool you.

Okay, wait, which am I, which am I rolling? A perception check.

This is really to see if you catch that, Seraphina and, uh, Maximo, how many? Yeah, you don't catch. Which is exactly my passive perception anyway, so that works. Yeah, so you don't catch at all that Maximo and Seraphina have handed off something. Um, and the crowd just is cheering, there's a lot of cacophony going on.

There's one individual who's peeking out of her windows. Um, one hand on her, um, ribcage of metal bird containment who kind of looks at you, Seraphina. You may notice this as you're like passing it through because she's the only one who's making eye contact with you and not involved in the cheering. She gives you a wink,

but otherwise nobody seems to notice that you've successfully retrieved your construct. At that moment Gus walks up to the two of you. Um, well, so it seems that I'll have to Depart our company for a brief moment Some of our legal matters have come to a head check in with me later. I mean Come with you.

I Feel we have Much to investigate and discover further, but, uh, I just need to step aside for a moment and I think we have a new lead. Do we not?

I'm still just kind of shocked by the fact that the dude just, like, melted. Uh. I'm like, I'm waiting to, like, console her. And I'm just standing there like Yeah, and I'm confused by the fact that she's not Utterly, like, distraught, considering, yeah, considering she was sobbing about leaving him there. So, um, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just kind of like, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay, whatever, whatever you need, I guess.

I'll write you when I know more. Okay. Very well. Laughter. Gus has a Will Shatner addition to the accent. Good luck, Jason.

So, it's the two of you. Seraphina, you're Construct, and you can see that there's a lot of damage to the Construct. You might need to, like, look at that and check things out. Help him out. Um, but Ulua, you, you're, you're, You're still where I said you were at the beginning of this. Um, at this point I'm going to turn to Seraphine and be like, uh, are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, good. Where do we go now? What's the plan? Are you good? Am I supposed to ask you, are you okay? I'm fine, I'm just, I'm fine.

You, you're, you're not upset?

Uh, no, no, not currently. I mean, usually I can have those feelings pop up, you know, without warning, but I'm good now! Are you okay? Are you trolling me? Yeah. No, I just, I, your construct. I thought you

Right, right, right, right. And I, I like, open the pocket just a little bit. I go, I got him. We're good. Magic. Wow, how did I not catch that? I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm, I wasn't paying attention apparently. I'm so sorry. I, that's, that's embarrassing. Um, Maximo, he's great. He got it back for me. I think he convinced everyone too.

Well, he got me. Which is, again, embarrassing. Um, I'm just gonna like shake my head. I mean like, Am I doing that right? Okay, well, um, Since I'm obviously not in my right mind right now, Uh, I would, uh, Why don't you kind of figure out what we should do next? Yeah, I mean, you're picking up the investigative mantle, right?

Uh,

yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Okay. So what time is it at this point in the day? Between the, the, the, like, I mean, you kind of came out late morning, you, you did some of the errands. It's Late afternoon, kind of close to dinner time, but not quite. It'd be early dinner. It'd be old, old, it'd be Rurik is hanging out with the old people dinnertime, because I'm officially old people now.

I found out that I almost got offered a senior discount the other day. Not because I was a senior, but because I was eating with I'm not going to talk about it. It's just a frustrating moment. Um, okay. So. We have options. We can't. This is Jessica talking. We can. There's a lot of things we can do. There's too many options.

Um. Well, do you need me to remind you of the ones I shared at the top? Yeah, go ahead and do that. You have Seraphina's letter. That she has. I don't think you're aware of, but. There's a letter from Sticky Beak. Or not Seraphine, I'm sorry. Lua's. Meme. Yeah. Confusing meself. Confusing meself with my lucky charms.

Someone's got a letter. Someone's got a letter. Uh, so that's like a clue. You have your construct in your pocket that may need some repairs and stuff like that. And, and some investigating there. And you have a floating city approaching on the horizon that could be a clue. Spark interesting conversations.

Maybe it's a pretext to get into certain places and find out what people are saying. Uh, you have the departed, uh, small citadel, which was a, an ascended, um, home that, that left and is no longer visible in the skies. So they move a bit quicker. Um, you have all the various things you heard about while hosting the party for the elite.

Um, still available to you for pursuit. Um, or since you don't know about the letter necessarily, you could just go seek out Sticky Beats Council. Um, go have dinner. I guess, in that moment. Grab a coffee, um, uh, at that moment I'm gonna be like, Oh, well, uh, maybe this, this will help? Um, I think, you know what I think it is?

I think I was just really weirded out by this Job Keeper crossword blacksmith. Um, yeah, uh, ha ha. She just kind of goes, oh, I'm muted? I am. I said why? Why, why are we afraid of her? Uh, well, no, uh, just, um, I'm not even sure it was, uh, her. Um, it was, um, It was kind of like your blacksmith in that it was def was not human from what I could Well, humanoid from what I could tell, but except for like a top half.

With arms, but then there was bird cages, and wheels, and, uh, anyways. Um, let me, let me, let me, let me, uh, uh, read, let me pivot here. Um, but they just happened to give me a, a note, um, from, in the shape of a bird. So, and at that point, I, I pull it out and I unfold it and go to read it. Okay, um As you unfold it, there's a little bit of a like a Trigger that occurs.

Oh, can you since you're the one who unwrapped it? Could you roll an arcana check? It's

14 Um, you feel, uh, and you've felt this before. This is, this is somewhat familiar to you. Um, there was like a little magical trigger lock keeping it from being tampered with until the right hands held it. So, you feel that there's a little bit of authenticity to this, but it's also surprising the level of security that StickyBeak has taken with this letter.

Um,

Okay, so the letter says, sorry I had to find the right letter, To my trusted associates, Greetings and well met, I write you with news that may both intrigue and endanger you. Through some well placed whispers and a hefty contribution to the ever thirsty coffers of the City Watch, as well as some of your unique contributions to the city, we have procured ourselves access to the official records surrounding the untimely demise of Grand, of Grand's Brands.

You know my suspicions. The reports of his death and my involvement in it mean that this was no accident, and these records, while undoubtedly tampered with, might hold the key to unraveling the truth. Be warned, however, the Watch's indulgence is not without strings attached. Their generosity comes with the implicit understanding that our investigation remains discreet.

Should you raise too much dust As the dust lingers in the air from the collapsed temple, their support may vanish quicker than a hummingbird's shadow. Proceed with caution, my friends. The truth you seek may very well lie within these records, but the path to unearthing it will be fraught with peril. Use your skills wisely and trust no one but yourselves.

Don't forget, I think, more and more of the fate of Overton hangs in the balance. With unwavering faith in your abilities, Sticky Beak. P. S. Rumors abound around a strange new artifact unearthed from a temple? Keep your ears to the ground, and see if whispers hold any truth. It may even be the temple that you were recently within.

Mm, yes, yes. After reading this, you know what I think we should do, Alua. Go to a spa. Go have a nice dinner. Let me buy you some flowers. I mean, I love a spa day, but I don't know if now is the time. Okay, Ulua, so here is legitimately what I'm thinking. Well, we do have the funds now. No. Must. Nope. Must refrain.

Not today. Well, here's my thought. One of the Younger Guardswomen. Walks by as you're having a skirmish and he says, Oh, what, and I wouldn't give for just, like, a pedicure. I know! It truly just She looks around a little bit. Can make or break a day. She looks around a little bit. I know a spot just up the street a couple blocks.

Really? And you would recommend? They dealt with my bunions. Oh, I'm so sorry. But also, yay! Yay. Not everything can be done with magic, but some things should definitely be done with magic. Good to know.

Oh, back to work. Yes, same. You can see her, like, stretching her hands out and, like, doing some, like, self care exercises as she walks away into the ruins of the temple. Um, Rurik, what is, what is currently going on with my dad, also? You haven't checked in. So That's a good question. So here's what I'm Here's what I'm thinking.

Day's almost done. I need to go check in on my dad. Gus is gone. He has left us. He hates us. Just kidding. Uh,

What I think is, I need to check in on my dad, which you, of course, are welcome to come visit if you want. But, what if we take the evening, have a rest, we've been through a lot, a lot has happened. And in the morning, we start fresh on these records that we make. Suggests we be careful reading and looking through.

Did it say where they were located? Or is it You know where the watch's various locations are. There's like little small, um, outposts. But they're not fully functioning. And Overton centralizes. That's, that's kind of the power and control feature of Overton. the city where they describe as a feature but actually probably is a major issue.

Um, and you know that the Watch keeps their records with all the records of the city in the Hall of Records, which is of course in the Hollow Council. Got it. Okay. Okay, well, um, I suppose I could check in. You could even go get a pedicure. I like fumble for my like, pocket of money and I'm like, see here!

You already handed it to Obua earlier. Oh that's right, I fumbled for my pocket and I go, never mind. I appreciate the gesture and the idea, but um,

I think, I think I just, I wouldn't mind going and checking it at home. But, will you let me know if you need anything? I, I Things seem to be heating up and I worry about us all not being together. In case one of us ends up getting into trouble. Oh, well didn't you give a thing where we can talk to each other?

Yeah, I gave them. I gave them to you. Yeah, so if anything happens, yeah, I'll bug ya. Just, just, just, We didn't end up getting honey, did we? Shalt. Okay, I'm sure that we have some in our house. As part of like our snack board. Um, I'm sure I can pick some up. Yes, so But, I think just for the evening, we'll go our ways, go do some personal things we need to get done.

And in the morning, Bright and early, we go we meet at the, the record hall. Hall of Records. Hall of Records. Placed with the records. Alright. Just, if you go to use the, the, the, make sure you feed it. Okay. Honey, okay? Okay. I, I think if you, I mean, one last thing we could do, quickly, in theory, is go back to our associate, our new, our new business partner.

Apparently, she may have access.

Do something we can't. I also probably could maybe pick some up. Well, I don't think I'm gonna need it until then.

Well, I think, Marie, correct me if I'm wrong, we have to feed them regardless of whether we're using them, right? Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, they will pupate and then become ready to reproduce because. How else does one survive but to reproduce when one isn't getting the nourishment one needs? Very plant like.

Okay. So why don't we go pick up the honey and then we'll go our ways until the morning. Okay Okay, so we make our way back to Crint. I remembered the name

And you see Krint is packing up she's kind of distracted by the destruction, but she's Packing everything up into her carry cart because she's trying to make good on what she said. She's she's gonna make this is Literally life altering for someone in her position. So she is packing things up. Psst! Huh?

Huh? Oh! Hi. Hi. Sorry. Hi. No, no, no. It's fine. Just saw you were busy. It's, it's, it's a lot. And I just, I'm, I've been kind of scared of thieves the whole time since you left. And I just have been, you know, um, got a plan, sent out a couple of messengers. And

I can't thank you enough. This is going to be so great. I This might put me on the map the same way Trixie the Pirate Queen was on the map. This could be my big break. I will be the Trixie's apothecary of the modern age. And you will be too, with, as partners, of course. I'm, I'm just glad to see that you're happy and excited.

Oh, so excited. Uh, oh, I forgot. I need your name so I can put them on the logo. Um, well, I think Gus mentioned we would be more of a silent partner. We don't need credit. But unless, if you want to include us, I'm sure you could. Yeah, is there a way I could include, I mean, I could do like. And, uh, Ulua? Friends!

Print and friends. Print and buddies. Print and associates. What about the legal paperwork? Do you have like a, a group name? An LLC name that I could use? So that Um, we aren't We haven't filed anything yet. Well, think about that. Because I have a feeling that this may be changing my life, but you know, even at just 10%, it's I have plans for explosive growth.

You, you mean in the business sense, right? Not in the literal sense? Or do you also mean in the literal sense? Have you, have you seen that there's a, uh, one of the floating cities is headed this way? Yes. I, I'm just making sure. Business will be a booming. Okay. Okay. Sorry. With the recent temple explosion, my, uh, I have actual explosions on the brain and so I just wanted to make sure that's not what you meant.

Oh, that's, that's a good point. It might be insensitive to be saying that. Um, how about, I need some new jargon for positive trends in my overall business performances. Well, um, uh, exponential is a good. I don't know what that means. It, it means, so, for example, if I have 1 and 1, that makes 2, 2 and 2 is 4, 4 and 4 is 8, right?

So, you know the, you know numbers. Yes, yes, yes. Right? So, that type of increase, where everything keeps doubling, or instead of just incrementally, That's what it means by exponential. Oh, okay. Means where it increases at a very quick rate. It doesn't really roll off the tongue though. Exponential growth? It, well, it might to the right people.

Especially if they're coming from a floating city. See, I was thinking of something fun like, high note, hitting the high notes or, or, or, um. Now maybe we'll go with exponential growth. That, that might just be easier to say. It's only like 60 syllables. Okay. I trust you to say whatever, I would say whatever makes you feel most most comfortable because then your authenticity will come through.

And that's what will help make the sale. Anywho, he came by, um, because the shopkeeper over there We need honey! There, um, gave me these, and I, and I hold out my, uh, earbud. Um, and said that we have to feed them honey, but I don't have any on hand. Would you happen to know where we could purchase some? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I usually have a couple of pots just because, you know, sweetens some of the things I make, some of the healing potions and other things like that can just have a little bit of a, uh, a better, better experience if they're just, you know, a spoonful of honey just makes it all better. So, uh, yeah, uh, let me look through here and she kind of like.

You can see large leathery pieces of mushroom being kind of carefully peeled up very delicately. And you can see that they've been separated by thin sheets of parchment. Um, she's already gone into some work to preserve and take care of them. Um, and as she's doing that, she says, Oh, we could do, um, sprawling like vines is a good way to describe it.

We're, we're, we're really taking root and flourishing. That's a good one. I very much like that one. Um, in the, in the meantime, if you could, three small, just three small pots of honey that we can, we can purchase and take off your hands, that would be great. Yes, yes, no problem. And you see her kind of wiggle her fingers.

She's wiggling her fingers, and as she's wiggling her fingers, you see some vines creep out with, um, one large pot and three vials. She says, uh, will this work? Three vials, I can, I can Here, here you go, and she just starts dipping honey into the pot. Finally picking up that you're on a bit of a push to get things done.

She passes you three vials and says, Blooming abundantly, our business is blooming abundantly. That's the word. And as she kind of continues to wiggle her fingers, the little vines creep back in with the pot of honey. What about,

no, I'll think on it some more, but you could work the word abundance into. That would be good, that would be good. If I could, that blooming abundantly and abundance, that's, that's, that could work. But um, where we're seeding and spreading. Well that sounds like we're creating a monopoly. I don't want to be like, well I shouldn't say this seems disparaging these days, so I won't say the name seeing as he's dead.

Yeah, that really is, I mean, it, it is, it is a shame, you know, obviously when someone passes, but well, and he's he's been He's the end of their family line, but he's been, I mean When people outside of Overton think Overton, they think Grands Brands. And now we won't have that. I mean, what name will we have for ourselves?

We'll just be cast back into the dark ages. I don't think that's the case. Maybe you'll be the new up and comer. And you'll be what people think, Tov. This is a windfall, but it's not a This isn't that great a I mean, this is It's small potatoes compared to the Grans Brans Empire. Did you know that they're, they've embedded themselves in all the continents of the world?

Like Well, they had a start somewhere. Start somewhere? They're like the, the, the, they're in every nook and cranny and they're, they're one of the leading reasons why various colonial empires have been discovered and, and been, I mean, just They're everywhere. The only place they really haven't penetrated is the Undead Continents.

The what? Although, I said the only place they haven't really penetrated is the Undead Continents.

Would I know what those are? I would know what those are, right? Roll a history check to see if you History

History Jeez Louise! Um

26. 26. Um, yeah, dang, you probably know a lot about it. I know everything. Um, you know there was an ancient city that got flooded out, but for whatever reasons with the magic that was triggered and stuff like that, as well as the presence of, um, an undead lich lord of some sort who actually started off in Overton, but went over to this other area, um, there's this drowned series of islands that are actually The top the tops of very tall buildings stick out in this main one like central area and they're constantly under um battle uh Just like this like fight between various undead lords and they They call the area Necromantia but um, these these leash lords that you know about are um They need living people to trade with and to work with because not everything can be accomplished by their undead hordes.

And so, you know, some chose to do slavery, but they found that that didn't work out very well in the end. They lost more slaves and undead slaves are not as effective. Um, so they need these people, they need servitors, they need specialists, they need all this stuff. Um, and they discovered that they were great trading partners for a lot of the floating cities.

The floating cities couldn't approach those. So there's now these adventuring bands of trading pirates ish sort of situation where they'll work with some of the undead for Deadwood, which is an extremely valuable resource. It is the most useful resource when constructing both floating cities, but also airships and other things like that ever since, uh, the collapse of Canyonville's mines.

These trade pirates would know a lot about the floating cities. Yes, they would. Mmm. Mm mm. Rumor says that they do have a port of call deep beneath Overton. Deep?

See, I'm such a great investigator. What's that high intel stat? But you do know that Necromantia is really far away. The other side of the world for once. Yeah.

Rumors is it used to be called New York City. Ooh.

Alright, so who is, wants to go first with their errands? Does not matter to me. I can go first. Yeah, I think that probably has more substance. To it, then mine. Sorry about the noises. Just crackin open a beer, it's fine. No. Casual morning beer. Just running over my toes. Hey, I mean, I'm from, I'm from Wisconsin, so.

Alright, so Seraphina, what do you do first?

I would like to,

uh, just go straight to see my dad. Yeah. Um, easy enough, you know where he's at, right? Yeah. He's still at the, that same, uh, temple? Yep. I was gonna say hospital. I don't know if that's proper terminology in these days. Temple of healing, hospital, all of those get used interchangeably. I think temple of healing is taking over because very much so the, it's kind of like a reversal of what has happened in our modern age where.

A lot of healing happened in churches and other, you know, locations where people provided caregiving, or at the home, to providing it in centralized, um, structures and buildings. I mean, there's still hospitals that are literally a church that has transformed itself into a hospital. Um, that's why you have, like, things like All Saints Hospital and other things like that.

But, um, in this context, things have started to transition the other direction, where You would call most of those places Temples of Healing, just because of the holy magic that is used in most healing spells. Yeah. Still a little, a few, you know, independent alchemists and pharmacists and such that ply their potions and onions independently.

Yes. Temple of Healing. Perfect. You arrive, you know where your father's room is, you can see your mother's, Um, Warned herself ragged for a different reason, um, because now she's going between the law offices where she's working by day and taking care of your father by evening.

So, I'm just gonna walk in and just go. Hello? Oh, oh, uh, Seraphina, hi, your father's resting again. Um, you can tell, like, she kind of had dozed off with her eyes open. Mm hmm. Uh, what can I do for you? I'm sorry, the house is destroyed. I don't, I, there's, uh, It wasn't really ours anyway, so, Um, what we're gonna do Uh, I'll look into that.

Yeah, I have a good job now. We can, we can put things back to rights. I just don't have any funds right now. I'm sorry. Um, all of our family treasures were in the house, so if they were still there after what happened happened, they're probably not anymore.

Well, we'll figure all that out. Don't worry about that right now. Your little statues were in there. Your brother and your sister and you. Oh, Mom. Uh.

If I look around, is there like, a spare couch, or like, an extra bed that's not being used, or You can see that almost tucked under your father's bed is a cot that looks like that's where your mom has been sleeping. Okay, um, Mom,

I can work on all that. I just How's, how's Dad? Um. He's mostly asleep. He's more lucid when he's awake now, but I think this might be his final year with us.

I'm gonna go up to my mom and just give her a big hug and not let go for a little while. Um, until she just sort of calms down, takes a deep breath. And just say, I don't think that way. He's in the place he needs to be to get better. You rest. I'm gonna go talk to the doctors. And the Priests. And uh, I'll be right back.

And then as I walk past my dad, I'm going to bend down, give him like a kiss on the forehead and just go, hi dad. And then I want to go find his, his team,

his team of priests, nurses, doctors, whatever they're. You find familiar figures gathered around a table, uh, eyes dark. Um, Steaming cups of something in front of them as they seem to be engaged in like a, a weary conversation. Nothing uninterruptible, but it just, they look like they're Tired. Yeah, they're working hard.

The, the city has a new pandemic and they're trying to stave it off. Um, I want to slowly walk up to the table and go, um, Um, Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother everyone. Oh, we're so grateful to you and your colleagues. Uh, uh, the legal team sent, and um, then the money that has started to come in, uh, Um, You, you ran a fundraiser?

Oh yeah, yeah, we had a, a party. We, we, you didn't let us know at all, it was just a big surprise, and, and, and, I'm so grateful for that, but uh, It's just, you know. A lot of paperwork wrapped up and money as well, so that's been interesting too. But, really grateful for that. Um, it's why we haven't, uh, really, um, I mean, we shouldn't, but um, Your father is as good as he's gonna get here.

He really needs to get out of this place. Um, do you have a place for him to go? Uh, our house exploded, so Yes, your mother told us about this. You were involved in something that

I, I, you know Do y'all know of anywhere that's, uh, renting? You know, got, got a place to rent? Or where, uh, where he needs to go? He needs to get out of here. If he catches something from all the other types of patients we have, if he catches any number of diseases, I mean, his immune system is Basically compromised, um, he just, he should not be in a hospital anymore than we, we've already had him.

I mean, bring him back if things, uh, go downhill, but Really need to see about getting you, your family, out of here. It's not good to be here. Does

anyone know of anywhere renting? A couple of them, I kind of know. We look at each other and it's like, we live in the temple. Oh, right. That would make sense. Uh, landlords Not something we've had to worry about, honestly. Well, that's good. That's convenient. Well, convenient for us, but not for your need. Yeah, I mean, it's good for y'all.

Uh, I'll figure Out. My own stuff, cause I know how to do that. Uh, happy to help with the fundraiser. Sorry you have a lot of paperwork now. Um. Better paperwork than corpses. Yeah, yeah, um. I'll work on getting my dad out of here. I'mma go find a place to live. And just, like, kind of sadly turn around and start to leave.

Uh, you hear somebody go, Oh, poor girl. Does she know? And, like, you, as you move further away, you don't quite pick up the, the, like, pity and commiseration that is occurring behind your back. Um, okay. So,

Surely, I would know somewhere that would either have, like, some, like, rooms to rent, or, like, a hotel for a couple of nights. Like, you know, I know in the real world, you know, you go with your friends, you look on Craigslist, maybe not Craigslist, but like Have you met all of your friends? I mean, you have the person who you borrow space from in the shopping district.

Yeah. You have, um, other friends, I'm assuming. You have your crew of Gus and Ulua, Stickybeak. Yeah, those are my friends. People who you learned various tricks of alchemy with?

Um, so I don't know how much Of this, we want to, like, Uh, roleplay out, and, like, Versus, like, Well, we could just do roles and see what you land on. Do you want to play a game of rolling for it? Yeah. Okay, so let's play the game of rolling for it. Just like, I would probably go to, like, Neighbors of where we used to live.

Start there. You know, try not to get too close. too far away of where we already were. Well, so if we started with the neighbors and then went to, um, the person you rent the workshop space from. As our first stop, so we'll see where the rules land for both of those. Okay, perfect. Okay, so go ahead and roll a persuasion check for the neighbors.

Okay, for the neighbors. If you get a 10 to 15, there's rumors of something, but nothing definite. If you get 15 or above, um, you have a solid lead to a place, and we'll take the next check. role of the skill check situation. And you said persuasion, right? Yes. So 18. 18. You have a solid lead on a couple of options.

One of your neighbors has a group of friends down in Underton that are setting up a new housing situation. It's a renovation of some old Underton temples and, uh, warehouse spaces that are really close to the coast that have, um, really taken off. It's very trendy now to be in these places. They're calling them, uh, oceanfront lofts.

Um, apparently at some point there was a stream that ran off and into the water, uh, there, um, and it was an old temple complex, but, uh, it had collapsed and it's been rebuilt and repurposed and redesigned with all the most modern of magical conveniences. Uh, the cliff face has actually been turned invisible.

So that it looks like you have expansive views and then there are actual cutout porticos in different locations so you can stand out on your balcony. A little pricey, a little expensive, but um, gorgeous, prime, brand new reconstruction. Um, and the other, uh, thing that they share with you is that there is a, um, Overton location Uh, the Sylvan Heights have been sold out forever.

You can't get into those. But on the border line between the Sylvan Heights and the Undercroft, there is some new development. The Undercroft is the poorest section of Overton. It is where the most destitute of people live, so they're not fancy homes or anything like that. They're fairly small, but it's a reasonable rent price.

That you're hearing of, um, and it's right on the border between, uh, Undercroft and Sylvan Heights. So, not a terrible place to be, but definitely, um, leaves much to be desired. Um, I think the last little bit of a tidbit of something that you might hear of is that there's always room in the Cragside Crafts.

But. That comes with a different type of cost. Um,

the one, the second one, how close is that to any of the healing temples? Um, it's closer than either the Cragside or the Underton location. Um, the, the Undercroft is just north of the temple district for the Old Gods. Okay. Yeah. Um, so I'd like to learn more about that one. Is that a role played out? So you are going to roll to pursue that one?

Yeah. Okay, so with the three options you have, um, this one is more of an investigation check to see if this would be a suitable home. Yeah. Yeah. And literally your role in investigation? We'll determine how suitable it is. Okay. Great. So investigate. It's not even worth trying. Dude, that's so That's not bad at all.

Okay.

26. 26. So I rolled a 15 and I have plus 11. Jesus Christ. It seems to suit all of your needs. It is, uh, it was described as on the border between the Sylvan Heights and the Undercroft, but it's actually at the corner of all three neighborhoods. The Temple District, the Undercroft, and the Sylvan Heights.

It's a first floor entrance with a second floor, uh, bedroom space. But there is one bedroom on that first floor, so it means no stairs for your older parents. So they would be able to get in and out pretty easily, and it would leave the upper floor as a little bit more flexible. And you'd While there are two apartments above that, and then two more apartments above that, and some shops on either side, which has its own convenience component, um, there is, in that same building, a little bit of room at the rooftop that is dedicated for your family.

So your family would have an outdoor space, it would just mean climbing up all the stairs for the six floors. Sometimes seven floors, depends on the weather. Um, let's get up there. The seventh floor grows magically and the tracks magically. That makes sense. Um, yeah. I would like to sign the lease. How much is rent?

Who do I talk to? Yeah, um, let's sign that lease. You're in a negotiation for this lease here. So, um, what would you, what would you offer for that lease? I don't know. What did we used to pay? Um, you don't know because your parents handled all the finances that you brought to that. You've not been involving yourself a lot in the affairs and now with your brother gone and your parents seeming to be less and less, um, capable of dealing with these things, you're having to learn all this for the first time.

Okay, so what is the asking thing? How much do they, like, If I read the lease, what does it say that this apartment is worth? Uh, reading through the lease agreement, um, it's Oh god, I feel like I'm living real life right now. Uh, it, it seems to say, like, if you were just to take it at face value before actually negotiating with anybody, um, 300 gold pieces a year to be paid up front for the year.

300 gold pieces a year, okay. Um, if your finances don't allow for you to pay it in advance, it's a slightly steeper price to pay month to month. Mhm, mhm. Um, and There appears to be a whole bunch of clauses about what you can and can't do in the apartment. Like there's information about like you can't run a business, you can't conduct experiments, magic must be done outside the home, it's a no magic building, other things like that.

No magical pets are allowed, no constructs, no, like there's a whole whole list of things like, you know. Just like IRL. Yeah. Um,

is there anyone living in the building yet? Uh, all the other units are occupied, including the two storefronts and the seventh floor that sometimes is there and sometimes isn't there. How long has this unit been on the market? Uh, roll a investigation check to see if you're able to ascertain that information.

Investigation. If you roll over a 30, I will be so excited. I did not. Oh, okay. Well, you won't notice that. You're so You're the worst jerk. 17. Um, you can see it's been on the market for two months so far. So it sat unoccupied for two months. Um, the last tenants were some Ratfolk folks, and um, they have moved on.

Um, yeah, so, I don't know if I need to roleplay for this, but like, I'm gonna, I want to try to get that down to So it's not working.

Seraphina pulls out her calculator. I want to, I want to get that number down to 200 up front for the whole year. Okay. Um, go ahead and roll a persuasion check. Is there any of the addendums that you would like removed? Um, Or new ones added on? That. If my dad needs anything magical, that, that's okay. Magic can be done in regards to his physical care.

Nothing about the constructs, pets, and other things? Nope, that one's okay, because I have my workspace. I think. Nope, that one's bad too. I don't like that one. That one's gotta go. Go ahead and roll your persuasion check. I'm setting the DC based on the things you want removed and the amount of money you want it to go down.

Yep. Okay. Persuasion. Oh god. Okay. Come on. Die, dude. You've been so good so far. Please be good again. Unless you're trying to fake them out. Are you trying to just Just fake them out with some, like, fancy verbiage that you've had edited on. Oh yeah, definitely fancy verbiage. Okay, so deception check, please. I don't know if it went over well.

If only you'd brought the feets with you! I didn't know I was going apartment hunting today. Split the party and find out what happens.

Deception! Disgrace! I'll take it. Unnatural 20. Unnatural 20? Unnatural. Yeah. Um, yeah, you successfully negotiate down the price to 200 for 200, 200 gold for the year. Um, you also are able to, to slide in some convenient verbiage that just. Reverses the intention that they had written this with and you were able to secure the apartment

So awesome any other errands you have My only other errand was I was hoping to go to the house to see if there was anything left And then either pay some kids or pay someone, if it's bigger pieces, to like take it to the new place. Or if they're little things, then I'll just take it over. So that way there's something for when I take my mom and my dad there.

And I go, I did it! I think when you went to visit your neighbors, and we don't need to play out this too much, is

It's been picked clean. Either the city did their cleanup job, which is their job, but the lot is just empty. There's no like, hidden compartments or anything I would have known about, like, oh maybe there's something in here! There's no buildings. there at all. No foundations, nothing. Um, then in that case, I do see a sign in the middle of it that would have would have let you know that the lot was up for reconstruction in a year.

The owner was gonna rebuild it. A couple of your neighbors were a little upset because they think that it means that they're gonna bring in a multifamily apartment. It's like the old neighborhood is Just falling apart. It's the, they're gonna put a shop down the bottom selling that cheap, but overly priced tea, and, and, and, and then they're just gonna, You know what, they'll take out the neighborhood grocery down to the corner, next thing you know it's just all going downhill from here, and, and, They'll just put it some, one of those atrocious ascended temples next door, who knows what's coming next.

Um. In that case, then no, I would have put

Are there just like a couple pieces of wood that I could take and maybe like Bang together like a cute little like sculpture using the old wood There is like it's been magically cleaned. So it's like that Horrific, depressing thing like when your mother started crying about the Three statues being probably gone.

And you went over there, the full realization hit of the city of magic that is Overton. They use magic on all sorts of things and magic does not discriminate. Yeah. Okay. So. Then I take nothing, and I just, if there's still time in the day to go ahead and get them from there to the new place, I will.

Otherwise, I'll arrange for a taxi or something the next day to come and get them. Easily enough taken care of either way, whatever you decide is the best. Um, the new place is furnished. Most undercroft locations are furnished. It's not great furniture, but it'll do temporarily. Until more funds are available for your family to purchase the comforts that they're used to.

Okay, I already paid for the year, so let me remove that. Okay. I'm guessing Ulua gave you back the money that she didn't spend. Okay, good. Alright, so you're set. That would be all the things I'd want to do. Take a nap. Or not a nap. Go to bed for the night, and then I'll meet Ulua at Let's do one. Don't let me ride!

We are going to end this session as we fade out through Seraphina's eyes, closing, peacefully listening to the snores of her mother and father because, unfortunately, um, that the upstairs uh, floor is not quite thick enough and there's definitely a need to bring in some rugs to, you know, Do this it is the undercroft.

These are this is not a high end area It is not an area that has a lot of money or has seen a lot of money But on the upside Gus did tell you about this nice little painting Supply store with a bar above so at least you'll be in familiar spaces Some interesting experiences with regard to that and as the Transcripts provided by Transcription Outsourcing, LLC.

Camera fades over to Ulua watching Seraphina, you know, a few hours back in time, trudged off towards the main temple district. We will cut there and come back next session with Ulua's Adventures. Thank you for joining us. Like, subscribe, do all the things, and look forward to seeing you then. Bye. Okay, bye.