Probability of Demise

Welcome adventurers to Probability of Demise, the podcast where critical fumbles meet critical facepalms. Join us as we delve into the darkest dungeons, slay the stupidest gremlins, and roll enough ones to make a beholder weep. Forget epic storylines and heroic deeds. Here we celebrate the chaotic beauty of bad roles, questionable decisions, and characters with more charisma than sense.

We'll be your dungeon masters of disappointment, guiding you through campaigns where the only guaranteed treasure is a mountain of laughter, and maybe some psychic scarring. So grab your nat 1 dice, strap on your anxiety helmets, and prepare to witness the glorious trainwreck that is our D&D journey.

Because, in the end, it's Even if your character dies face first into a pile of pudding, at least you'll have the Dice God's permission to laugh your ass off.

Hey, welcome to Probability of Demise, the only game show where nobody's in a game, and it's not a show, and they're all gonna die today! Please like, subscribe, and do the other things that you do whenever you do the things that you do. Um, don't worry, we don't take D&D that seriously because we're a pod of people who like to hang out with each other.

We hope you find your pod, and if you do, just be aware they're not as cool as my friends are. Um, sorry, that was a lot to come out of my mouth without actually any context whatsoever. But it is time for the favorite part of the show, which is the magical Word of the Day. That's me. Okay. So today's word of the day.

Oh, I didn't even do like an intro or anything. Let me do one of those. So, uh, greetings everyone. And welcome to yet again, another rousing episode of the word of the day. Uh, this very enchanting segment, uh, we learn a new word to add to our vocabulary of the day. Words that we already kind of know how to say.

Uh, today's word of the day is Do we?

I love your optimism. Is efficacious. Oh, I didn't tell you what number. So once again, with our magical, uh, D100, thanks to Jason, uh, we rolled a 74. And today's word is efficacious. Efficacious is a formal word used to describe something, often a treatment, medicine, or like a remedy. Uh, so, used in a sentence, uh, it could be something like, the cleric's healing spell was so efficacious that the wounded warrior was back on his feet within moments, ready to rejoin the battle.

Ooh! I love that we're actually using it in like D&D. D&D! Terms, that's so good. Look at you! You have, I noticed. Well done. Did we spell it? No, but I can. E F F I C A C I O U S Efficacious. Efficacious. And with that, as ever, I remain hopeful that we will have a moment in time during the session where somebody uses it brilliantly to describe some wild thing and gets it right.

That's inspiration, and all the magic that comes with that. Uh, last Stay tuned for the one in five episodes that we remember to use the word of the day. I mean, honestly, like, I would be more inclined if Sorry I just realized that. Can you hold it? Put the knife down. It was just a joke. You don't have to be so upset.

I'm not killing your character on purpose, I swear. Oh. Uh huh. That's why I'm making this face, because I'm trying really hard not to cut myself. You know, we would have a chance to use it if you didn't keep just throwing us into combat situations. Or do we throw ourselves in there? Um, I mean, that's the question.

Are you saying the word of the day is not efficacious for combat?

Nice. Nice. Maybe we can keep that one, uh, as we play. Nah, that doesn't count. Welcome back to Probability of Demise. The only fun thing about to happen here is the total party kill because Larissa just threatened us all with a knife. So, last time, they did make their way out of the dungeon entirely, they had a nice long rest, they felt so recovered, and then they went across a lake that stood between them and part of Underton.

Underton, for those of you who don't know, is the city that actually started Overton. Of course, because what comes over must come from under. Uh, at any rate, they Is beneath. encountered a creature that was cared for and considered some sort of patron to the Undertonians who lived along the shoreline of this underground lake, uh, and eschewing further involvement after healing it, uh, which caused it to return to the Eldritch Realm from which it came.

Had come in the first place, they made their way out, but not before losing a significant portion of their slimy friend. Down to the, um, barest of wubbins. We don't have wubble anymore, we just have wo. No, it's the barest of wubbins. Good boy. So with the barest of wubbins in tow, they made their way to the surface to a brand new day.

Because after your adventures throughout the dungeon space, a nice long rest. It is a brand new day and you can smell the scent of recently fallen rain. So sometime over the course of your travels, it had sprinkled some rain upon the city. Things are seemingly peaceful right now. You can hear birds in the air and the city is yours.

You do have some outstanding, uh, promises to keep up with including, Maximo, the guard. member who, uh, uh, you were able to convince to provide a bit of decoy time to enter into the dungeon in the first place. Also, what happened to the rest of that temple, uh, after the explosion? Is, uh, Seraphina's construct still banging on some walls there?

We don't know. Dear Stickybeak. Dear Stickybeak. And there's a message to Stickybeak. I assumed, based on the last time when we were facetiously saying, Dear Stickybeak, we destroyed a great whore of the, of the, uh, Undertonian world, that that message was going to be put together and sent. Is that okay for me to have assumed that?

Mm hmm. Are there any other Dear Stickybeaks also included updates of our temple exploration. Mm. Mm hmm. Yeah, I think, I think it would have been a sum up of our recent findings. Dear Stickybeak, We have explored the abandoned temple and accidentally blew it up. But it wasn't our fault. Have a lovely day, goodbye.

And you also detail out what happened with the explosion that led to the not so green misting. Yeah. Great. Uh, you also have still those vials that you collected from there, the books you collected from there, uh, various other sundries and artifacts, as well as an occasional trigger into, uh, each other's memories, Ulua and Gus.

Um, although I will say this, could I have you both just start us off nice and healthily with a nice wisdom saving throw? Yay!

I don't know why I'm looking at D&D Beyond, it's not working. Fourteen. That's about as good as, the roll is about as good as D&D Beyond is working for me right now. That is a six. Gus, you definitely feel like these flashes into each other's memory are getting under control. Um, but Ulua, you keep popping into memories of Gus's,

and it's just really frustrating, and on the one hand you are learning a lot about Gus. Are you at all trying to hide that these keep happening to you even as you see Gus seems to be recovering and having less and less affect from those memory flashes? Um only in so much that it would be distracting.

Not in a, I wouldn't do it in a malicious way in order to like keep information, but if there's, if there's something that like pops up that seems, you know, concerning or like, you know, that I would want to comfort him about or like that could be useful that I feel like he wouldn't Mind being discussed.

Oh my god, I think Gus was the Overton Strangler. But, um, but only, like, I don't want it. Those are cute. Um, I don't want, uh, it to be, don't make me go get mine. Um, I don't want it to be distracting. Okay. Okay. if that makes sense. Like, I don't, I don't want to be like, Oh my God, I keep like, popping into your memory.

It's so funny. Perfect. So what I would love for you to do is just roll a, um, deception check. Just not that you're, you're consciously deceiving him about important things, but this will just let me know how many of these, um, memories I should privately message you versus share with the group. Uh, deception.

Disgrace! Uh, Sorry. She's unmedicated today. Uh, that's a twenty Alright! We can stop right there. Uh, no. Gus, would you like to roll an insight check? Just, you know, you, you, you have intimate knowledge of this, and I just would like you to have the opportunity to, um, I rolled a nat one, so. So yes, you have, you're, you feel like where you're both recovering very well.

And this is just like solid space. Thank goodness that influence of whatever that was, the, the contamination, the, the, the goddess, the whatever, who knows where it was actually coming from, it is fading away and it looks like your ally is healing as well. All right. Uh, Seraphina is a new day. And you have been walking around for a little bit.

Can I just get you to roll a d20 and add your constitution modifier to it? D20. Constitution. Modifier. Okay. Is she gonna be sparkly again? Oh god, no, no, no. Okay.

Not good, but it's not as bad as I thought. Uh, 78. Hmm, 10. Hmm. Okay, nothing happens. All right, so the three of you have the city at your feet, many errands to do, a message off to Sticky Beak, um, and as you, uh, kind of just are out there in in the, uh, world of Overton, I will say that, uh, you do hear a little voice echoing off in the distance.

X tree, X tree, City of Macro, coming this way. X tree, X tree, City of Macro, coming this way. To mourn the death of Brans, Brans, Brans. City of what? City of Macro. Okay. Like Macrame. I thought you were saying the City of Macro. Yeah, uh, the city of Macra, I think all of you would know is one of the trading partners of Overton.

It was one of the, uh, unlike the Ascended Palaces, it is a full city that floats. It's very slow, it does not move with anywhere near the same speed as some of the Ascendant places are. So, an announcement like this, and even, you know, should you choose to, you could look around the horizon, And easily spot it days in advance of its arrival, because those cities, unless some new magic has occurred, do not move quickly.

At the speed of smell. Pretty sure farts travel faster than the city does. That needs to go on TikTok.

Alright, what are you all up to?

Um, how close are we to the temple? Where we resurfaced. Probably easily based on, you know, y'all have gotten pretty adept at this particular section of the city. Um, an hour's walk closer than anything else. Closer than, um, I mean, the only thing closer would be like maybe a Ulua's home if you're willing to trudge up the hill.

I think first of all, um, I'm going to go look for Maximo. All right. Is the party going to Stay, stick together and go with Gus as you find Maximo to catch him up. Great. Um. No splits. Beautiful. Where do you go to find Maximo? Where have we left him? Back to the bar. Beautiful, beautiful. So yeah, you head back to the same area, the area where the temple district is.

And, um, You can see in front of you, As you pass, you know, you're, you're, you're walking through the space and as you walk into kind of this temple's footprint, there's a lot of other temples here and such like that, there is that bar that you went to and, uh, you can see that there is, it does look like there's a, a member of the guard posted outside, um, you can see that there's a bit of, uh, lazily drifting, um, debris floating up into the air from where the temple is.

So something has. been occurring or happened. Um, and then, uh, heading however you choose to to get there, maybe you're going around the temple or whatnot, but uh, getting to the backside of the temple and then therefore to the bar behind the temple, you um, you find Maximo. Um, well imbued with With the brew, uh, it looks like there have been several individuals back and forth, um, and this is, this, uh, bar has become the staging point for a series of messages and errands with regard to something, probably the temple itself, but, uh, it looks like Maximo has decided that this makes a great, uh, secondary office for the watch.

Like a command center with table service? Yes, I mean, if you are going to be doing a stakeout, you might as well do a stakeout from a nice steak place. I mean, that makes sense to me. Ba dum. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. That was good. Sigh. Alright, I'm just gonna go up to the deck. Yeah, I ain't got nothing on that shit.

I need to can that so that I have it available to me whenever I want to. Okay. Because this has nothing on what we do. Yeah. No, it's not as fun. But it's also like the investigation theme, like you can't It's gotta be every moment needs its own version. It has to be impromptu, yeah. Okay, so Sometimes it's faster, sometimes it's slower.

Uh, uh, distractions aside, Gus, Seraphina, Ulua, you're at the bar, Maximus there, and I want to go up to the bar and get a drink for everyone. Just saying. Easily done. I think the bartender is. It's not the normal bars hours, but you know, commerce is commerce and having members of the watch kind of just stationed there at first.

Possibly going to be a hit to their custom, but Maximo is a good patron. Um, not unwilling to spend coin. So, uh, the bartender's there. Very few other people in the space. A couple of, uh, uh, members of the watch sitting at a table. It looks like they're off duty, but haven't yet changed out of their duty garb and Maximo as well as the bartender.

I am going over to Maximo. Hello. Hello. The very heavy duty version of a, some sort of a scotchy bourbon drink that I got him. Scotchy bourbon. Something that tastes like, you know, A large glass of scurbin. It's more than a double dark who knows what it's made out of.

I'm sure the bartender probably calls it some, like, temple area specific name, you know. Yeah. Ulua gets something like, some sort of fancy, like, apple martini esque thing. Cosmo. Of course. I'm a Cosmo girly. And then I got sugar. Sugar with vodka. No, you got a dirty Shirley, is what you got. That's what it was.

Ulua has an Overton up. Seraphina has an Underton down.

Gus has a, leave me the hell alone. And these are the drinks I pass out to everyone. And then I just said, Gus has a drink named after an obscure fishing village that nobody's heard of. Fisherton.

Fisherton's folly. It's a new drink. It's Fisherton's end. It's a bitter. All laughing

Well you got Jason good on that one. Yeah.

All right. Uh, yeah. Please. Uh, Maximo's there. Sees you. Eyes a little red. From just, clearly what was a, uh, Shift turned into multiple shifts in a row, definitely working the overtime here.

Uh, hello there. Wait, wait, wait. Hello there.

Alright, thanks for tuning in everybody. Uh, we'll see you next week. We are off our rockers today. Yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, thank god you're here. Uh, I'm assuming that was you and he gestures towards the temple, the back side of which is facing you right now. That was the cultists trying to cover their tracks. They set some sort of trap and blew up the temple.

Well, that, that, that tracks. Okay. Uh, There was, uh, hundreds of gallons of wyvern's venom that they were trying to dispose of. We're a little concerned about it leaking into the water supply. We did try to block it as best we could. You may need to get some people in there to try to clean it up as soon as possible.

Okay, okay, um, uh The doors are illusions. You can walk right through them. The walls are bricked up. Is the illusion of the doors still there? Just not the building? When you had walked through, you saw the illusion of the doors. The building overall is still there, most of it. Um But, uh, Seraphina, could I have you just roll an Arcana check?

Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah? Oh my god, this one's going in jail. No more for you. Okay, Arcana.

Uh, oh, plus eight, so Twelve! I'm sorry, did you just say plus eight? Yeah! Jesus! Her intelligence stat is Is an investigator's intelligence stat. Sapphine is really, really smart. Goofy as all hell, but super smart. Sometimes a little strong, but we don't know why. We love a strong girlie. She's smart and a little narrow spicy podcast.

Yeah, I mean. Uh, you all are, uh, I guess I'm going to be aware of this. Uh, Seraphina, you, um, can sense your creation. Too distant for you to actually control, but you can still sense, now that you're closer to it, a connection to it, and it's still whacking away at something. Um, so it's still actively deconstructing the, uh, temple in some way.

I'm going

to give him a rundown on like the, just the events, like the, the garden that we went through, the, the dead prone, the, like all that stuff, the, the stuff we found, the God's breath, all that. And just like, you know, give him like an info dump on everything that we did when we were in there. Great. Um, yeah, I think that with that information that you share with him, uh, he's able to, um, come to some decisions.

Uh, well, I think we're gonna raid the place then. Uh, if those are illusion and there's this outstanding issue, um, yeah, we're, we're, we're, we're diving in. Yeah, definitely, uh, wear, bring protective gear, breathing protection and such for him. Yes, uh, I think we can get sick. Yes, uh, I think we have this, but we'll, we'll, we'll, uh, we'll cast some little, uh, yeah, we, I think we can kind of lose a little bit.

Do me a favor. And when this, if this But likely when your efforts get stonewalled by someone on the holocouncil at some point or by an Ascended, can you let me know who?

If you, if you become, if your investigation gets sidelined. Yeah, well, it might have come to that already. Accept.

We're investigating, uh, some scandals in the market right now. So we're a little tied up at the moment. Um, we, we need the overtime here for that purpose. So, uh, we really hadn't had any time to report on any strenuous activities. Although we did send in a notice about, uh, some loud noises when, when initially heard something late yesterday.

Uh, But, of course, you know, the things that we're currently working on have been taking up much too much of our time to deepen those investigations and to report back anything new. So, I feel we might get a little bit more done. Oh, good luck. I know how it can, the more serious things get and the more they involve powerful people, the harder it is to bring them home.

So, good luck to you. Let us know if we can help. I appreciate it. What's going on in the, uh, in the market? I think that's on our list of stops today. Uh, commerce is good. Uh, brew is selling well. The blacksmith seems to be having a fit because he's singing like a mad person. Uh, the magician's shop, whatever they are, don't really know what they do.

But, uh, they're, they were initially concerned about some of the noises, but they seem to have gotten over it. Um, Everything seems hunky dory. Oh, you mean, no, it was a ruse. That's how we're keeping. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, right, right, right. Yes. Of course. It's been a while since we spoke. I forgot that we asked you to do that.

Um, alright, very well. Uh, is there anything else you need from us? Uh, your information is actionable and useful and you've just made my day, so. I think we're about to help. We're square. Okay. I think if these guys are cool with it, I will, or these ladies, these folks with me are cool with it. We will slam our drinks and head to the market.

Yeah. I mean, he, he's not going to project that. Um, I mean, that's Jason asking. I don't know. I don't know if the lure or Does Seraphina have anything else here? Seraphina's just still at the bar with like, three or four cops around her. Just face down on the countertop. Oh dear. It's been a day. Oh no. Uh, uh, Seraphina, are you, are you alright?

Nothing ever goes right. And I'm tired. And I left my big friend back there. I'm gonna,

I'm gonna say, okay, sweetie, and I'm going to cradle pick her up. Um, as I'm doing that, I am going to maybe Seraphine is depressed and drunk on all of her virgin drinks with elbows in them.

The thing is, it's not like Technically, it's poison. But I don't think I have anything that technically does against poison. I just have healing ward. Um, so I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna pick her up. And I'm going to What's poison? Drinking. It's considered like Oh. Like a poison effect. Um, Uh, I'm gonna pick her up.

I'm going to Say, there, there. He I'm sure you can

build another one. I mean, he He Hang on. Ah! This is buggin me. Okay, there we go. Pfft! Sorry, I just Squirrel! Sorrel! Alright, um I can build another one, but I can't I haven't even had time to do anything! Okay, well Just, like, crying into her bosom, only half understood. How far are we from my house? Uh, you were closer before you came here.

So now you're further away. Uh, the, so I think that just contextually, based on what you've all shared with me, if you plan to do market things, especially since it is kind of the beginning of the day, it would be a long trip back and forth. Um, unless you're going to go to a different market. Is there an inn at the market?

Yes. Uh, there, there is a.

I'm going to kind of swing her around so that I'm essentially like piggybacking her. So it's like her arms are over my shoulders.

So that she can like, if she, you know, I can possibly understand her better.

But so that she still has something to hug. I'm just rattling on like, I just, all I wanted was to help my dad, and I need a new sword, and my sword's all rusty. And she's just like, blabbering all the things. And I just kind of like, I'm like trying to kind of just console her, while also holding on to her.

And I'm sure it is not. As someone who had a long career dealing with hysterical, upset people in crisis, Gus is just going to step in and be like, Sheriff, you know, um, You know, we need to go to the market. Why don't we go get you a new weapon? I need one! I know, I know yours is a little rusty. Let's go see what we can find.

I need one. Okay, okay. Let's go do that. What do you think? Yeah, and then I go into my pocket and I pull out whatever money I have and I'm like, I have this! Well, we have, we have some things from the temple we can sell and then we'll see what we need. So I think the first place we want to visit, and I'm, I'm like trying to coordinate with Gus, is Blacksmith!

Well, we need money first, honey. I have it! We need an herbalist and a bookstore. I have it! I pull out more money, because I think I have money. You're being, you're, it's very Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman right now. I have all this money! The members of the watch have been gathering as you're like having this and you're holding up ten, what did you say?

I have three hundred and ten gold. She's swinging around three hundred and ten gold. I just go like, I have this piece, and this piece, and this piece. Okay, okay, okay, honey, honey. You're not gonna wanna just go flashing that around. Put it back. Oh, goodness. I put it in her hands and I go, you, you need to buy yourself something.

Get yourself something pretty. And then I give, I give Gus a little too. I'm like, Gus, Gus, Gus. I stroke his little face. I stroke his little face. You, you also need things. I don't know what you need, but you need things, and I give him money too. And I, I turn my head just like to the side so that it's up against her ear and I go, Pains, Pains, he likes Pains.

Okay. Um, I'm just gonna like as we walk, are you like on your feet or are you still piggybacking? I leave it up to her when she gets down. I don't think she can walk right now. In my, in my mind, I'm still on the big, beautiful lady. At some point, I'm just going to put the money back in her pocket that she gave me.

So I want to go actually, Seraphina, I could use your help with a couple of things. Can do. Can you identify these two items for me? And also if you have an extra spell, maybe my shoes, because I've been meaning to do that for years. Hmm, hmm, yes, yes, I can do it all! Okay, so wait, I can So I have the magic cloak that we looted, I have the crone's necklace that we looted.

And I have three slots that I can do that with, so there's three things. One, two, three. Two. Pew, pew, pew. Three. Hwapa. Just while I'm upside down over Ulua's shoulder being like, These are shoes. I'm just imagining, like, your legs underneath, like, her arms wrapped around your legs, and you just lean backwards and like, And then just like go back up.

Pop down all my things and be like, These are Business mode momentarily. Let's start at the top here. We got the three things. We've got the shoes. Shoes, cloak, necklace. Cloak. Necklace. Okay, I'm gonna need some reminders because I have a ton of notes of things. I need some reminders about these. Okay, the shoes was from my backstory.

You told me to pick an item that my patron gave me, but it needed to be identified, so I didn't know what it was, and I picked shoes. Oh, great. Um, Seraphina, let's identify that first. As you cast your spell, you're holding his shoes. Are they still on your feet, Gus? I got maybe like one foot up, and she's got like Leaning backwards, like holding my foot probably.

These are cursed shoes of the sneeze.

They have an effect where they bond the wearer to a, a being from beyond this plane.

They also give the wearer

upside down luck where bad things that befall them. feed the positive luck of their, um, patron. And positive things that befall them also seem to train that magic back towards the patron. But there's like a, a little reservoir that stays with the wearer. And you can see that Gus's reservoir is Explosively full.

So I tell him all that, and at the very end I go, You, my friend, are lucky. Almost too so, I would say. We need to deplete your luck. We must go gamble!

Um, can you put those in my inventory, or do I need to write all that down? You'll have to write that down, because this is a very special, unique thing that is going to be, um I will pull that you. I'll pull that from the recording after I'm finished. Alright. Um, but the, but the curse part of it, Seraphina, is that Gus can't take them off.

Oh yeah, Gus, you can't take them off. You probably have known this

But I've been sleeping with my shoes on for like 80 years or 100 years. Yeah. God, that's gonna stink when I get them out. Impressively, Seraphina, as, uh, as these, you're like, manipulating these shoes, there is no, like, putrefaction smell or other things like that, that somehow these shoes are doing something beyond what you know, because what you can see is that reservoir is there, and then there's magic flowing back and forth.

Um, but there's no other active spells right now in this moment for you to identify. But. What I will share as an advanced kind of like level up of this, these shoes are a conduit back and forth. And I think all of you as magic users would know, but definitely Seraphina would as an artificer, conduits can be used to cast spells through.

So just because this item itself doesn't have a spell attached to it. Beyond the ones that you're seeing that allow it to be this conduit and that keep the curse alive. Um,

A conduit is a pathway and the pathway could be used.

You can do things through your feet, Gus!

You could just point your foot and then go la la la la la la and cast a spell. Uh, okay. But I think, I think you must point, flex, point, flex. To be able to do it.

That Doesn't seem right, but okay. I think it is. Uh, I think I think that must be done in order to cast spells. Point, flex, point, flex, cast. Plié. As Gus pliés, you can see that it's like not a great plié. Nothing happens. Um, Moving on to the next item, unless you are gonna spend more time with the apparently, uh, point shoes do go, um, magic cloak.

Which, which magic cloak is this? Uh, just you told me it was a magic cloak. It's not identified. It's rooted from the temple. From the temple. Oh, the one from the temple. Okay, great. Mm-Hmm. . Um, yes, you cast identify Sarah Fina. And I need you to roll out an ana check. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, shoot, that's gonna be a nat 1.

Boop, boop, boop, boop. Okay, well, um, through your identify spell, you, you, you, um, the, the, the cloak seems to be transitioning as you're casting this spell, um, and what you realize is this cloak It's gray suddenly, and it wasn't before. It's kind of transitioning a little bit, and there's this like white silk helm and now a platinum clasp.

And there must have been some illusion on it, but as soon as you identify it kind of has made this transformation. Um, and you recognize that while wearing this cloak, the wearer will have advantage on any situation of initiative. They cannot be surprised. And if they wear it with the hood up, they gain true sight.

But their eyes become a soft blue white glow. Ooh, pretty. If you want to look for that one, it's called the Visionary's Cloak. Okay, and then the other item is the Crone's Necklace that we took after she died. Yes, um The Crone's Necklace, when you cast Identify on it, Seraphina, um, you find that there's a repository of of something that's not magic.

Um, your Identify spell identifies this as, um, and the word kind of bubbles to your mind, but it reminds you of something that was said down below. Um, Godspeed. Godseed. This is, whatever that stuff was, they were extra God's breath. Sorry. God's breath. Words that cannot be said by me. I got you, boo! Um, this is the same, uh, thing that they were trying to extract.

Not the byproduct, but the other thing that they were trying to extract. The actual purpose behind their redonkulousness.

Underworld operation. A. K. A. Ridonkulousness.

All right, um, I think we should keep these. Uh, if those cultists wanted God's breath, we probably don't want to just sell this to a vendor. Um, that seems dangerous. Although, why don't you keep this magic necklace? That will give you the Crone's Necklace to wear. Then you can become a god. You want me to put this on?

Um.

Sharifina, does it seem like it would be bad to wear? Do I think it is bad to wear? The cloak? No. No, the necklace. No, no, no, the necklace.

No, nothing seems, it, it, it does not, um, It just seems to be more of a repository of magic rather than, or of this, God's breath, than, you know, I mean, it is magical in that it's able to contain it. So you can see, like, there is a complex. You know, like, you're, you, you're, you've geeked out, Seraphina, I would say, like, you're an artificer, you create crazy contraptions.

And while the outside of this is not a crazy contraption, the magical scaping of it is a crazy contraption. It's like somebody took a wildly imaginative multi step machine of spells, just the spell components, all to keep God's breath inside of the Simulant. Okay, I guess, I'm gonna ask, Sharfina, who do you think would have the most benefit from this, from all of us, since we're geeking out over it?

Who do I think would benefit the most?

Anyone? I don't know, that's not my job. I go, pretty necklace, pretty lady. And I hand it to Ulua.

And then I realized what I just said and went, Uhhh. It, um, came out wrong. And since you're like, riding on her back, you just like, put it on her. Yeah, I'm just

I just kind of touched my hand to it. Is it something that would need to be, like, attuned to, in terms of a magic item? No? No, it doesn't do anything in that way. Okay. Um, I just Who's doing the most tanking out of all of us? Probably you, Larissa. I don't think so. I don't, I feel like we're all just like squishy, so I don't know.

I would say Seraphina once, once she has a, uh, I'm going to take the cloak and like put it on Seraphina so you can have the visionary's cloak. Okay. So you can not be surprised. I assume you have to attune to that after it adds it to our inventory or our ability to see it, but. The cloak will take an attunement slot.

Okay. Excuse me. Sorry.

So next time we gotta send somebody first, it should be Seraphina because she can't be surprised. That's fine. I always try to take up the rear. It's all, I'm just, I feel like I'm constantly fighting for the rest of, for it, with the rest of you.

Okay. Okay. I, I feel like I'm fine taking up the rear because Eldritch Blast has a range of 120 feet, so if you want to be the middle person in our, uh, Patrols from now on, feel free. Well,

The issue is, is that a lot of my spells are like, Point of, Inception cones and stuff like that, so, You being in my way isn't really ideal. That's the thing, I'll be in the back, and then, You can like, step up next to Seraphina and, Wew. I guess what I'm just talking about, like, yeah, whatever. Okay. Um.

Semantics for later. Okay. Um. And then I want to go to an herbalist first. Before the mushrooms. Um, how are you finding an herbalist? In what way are you trying to locate someone? By innate knowledge of the city. I assume I've been to this market. I don't. Um. Um. There, there is not an herbalist in this section of the city that you know of.

But there, there are these, uh, transitional, um, shops. Okay. Kind of an open market situation where people come in and out and, um, are there or not there. So you can go explore there. It's most likely to be. Or maybe like a, like a potion shop or like a, uh, Um, there is a Magic Shop Al Alami shop. So you, you, I I, I'll say this, you kind of walk down the street where the, the Potion Shop is and the Open Marketplace are, and I can give you this description of both the, the Magic Shop.

Seems

none, none of you are, well, maybe Sina Fin is the closest to being closest to being a. The pretentious style of magic user, right? Follow the rules, read the books, go through the formulas. Ulua, you have musical knowledge, which has connected you with the magical space. So you do follow some of those, but you also are guided more by gut and instinct than by intellect.

Gus, yours is fully born of instinct.

This shop does not cater towards those who are of instinct born. It is very much a intellect based shop. And you kind of walk by that. You also walk by the open air market and you can see that there is a, um, a Fae shopkeeper at one of the booths. There's a fortune teller at another one of the booths and Various foods and sundries as well as a little, um, beer stall or cider stall.

It's hard to tell which. But the individual at the, has like this little hand cart where she like picks it up and can carry it herself or put some sort of creature to work carrying it. She has herself set up and she has a lot of very unique looking herbal items and plants at her spot. Okay. So you have the two options of this kind of like, street vendors person, who very specifically has the kind of plant thing going on, or this much more formal, um, magic shop.

Okay, first I'll go over to the street vendor and be like, uh, hello. Ah, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. Hi, uh, do you buy rare, rare plants? Ooh, of course, uh, so if you would like to look here I have, there's a beautiful fruit of a fay and she holds up this like glowing orange fruit. Oh, and don't watch out for my plant up above your head and there's like a spiraling purple plant that is growing, um, in midair.

Uh, both of which are lovely additions to any, uh, health potion you might desire. I also have just received a Glimmer Brute. I'm actually looking to, uh, sell these and I'm gonna, uh, take my mega holding and pull out, like, a sample of the mushroom that we picked. Uh, roll an insight check.

21. Per, um, she, she, she's a seller of things. She's been very enthusiastic with you. Her whole demeanor shifts and, and you can see, uh, just like math running through her eyeballs as she sees the opportunity here. She's, she's, her breath comes a little bit short, not enough for most people to notice, but you're, you catch it with your investigator's eye.

She turns away. I spy with my investigator's eye. She turns back to you. Hello there. So, what are you looking to get for those? You just have what you have? Um, I have about

As he, as he, right before he starts to talk, I'm just gonna lean down and put both my hands on his shoulders and just go. Um, uh,

just remember we work hard for the money and then I cast inspiration

Um, oh God. So you said that. I know. So stupid that these are valuable. Do I know like what a good price for that is? I think I have 50 pounds of them. Market prices fluctuate. Um, I think. It depends on really what's needed by the market and what the market will bear in this moment because you have a surplus of it.

Um, but if you were able to, uh, get a vendor to, to pick it up in a way that worked out well and then they were being savvy about it, you could avoid flooding the market and keep things, uh, flowing. Um, it,

I mean, the, the hand, the, the sampling that you had, have in hand, is probably like 20 golds worth easily you have a whole lot more um

but it's a perishable right so if i leave it in my bag of holding it will eventually like reducing quality so i can't just like keep it and like use it to sell on anybody it would need to be preserved in the type of thing that an apothecary keeps um okay some sort of preservative i have i'm gonna like Look into my bag.

Like, root around there with my arm. I would say about 50 pounds. Of this measure.

I would be more than happy to take that off your hands. Insight check. Oh. Roll your insight check. Ooh.

If you also roll a nat 20 we're going to fleece this vendor so hard. I did not. I rolled a 16 though and I have a plus 7 modifier. It would have been pretty sweet if I had. As she continues speaking and indicating that she's definitely interested in, uh, this product, you can see Ulua, um, just a little bit of sweat trickle down her forehead.

Um, uh, I, I think that we might need to work out some sort of plan. Um, I need to maybe, uh, I have some partners I can check in with. And I'm sure we can secure the whole, I do currently have room in my inventory. I, um, and I did hear that the, the, the, there's another city coming here soon. Which would be great because then I could, um, Diversify my, I mean, uh, uh, uh, uh, have additional customers.

Um, I mean, she's kind of rambling. And so with our inside checks is the vibe we're getting that she really wants it, but she doesn't have the money for it. Is that the, you can't tell whether or not she has the money for it, but you can tell that she's going to have to make a major leap. Like, If you imagined yourself as her, like, I, especially with that insight, those insight checks, your empathy to understanding the situation is such that, um, it's going to be a major business decision for her to do this.

Like, does she seem trustworthy if I were to just let her take it on credit, I guess? Um, I'll need you to, like, engage with her to establish trustworthiness. So far you've been, like, figuring out. Uh, her immediate reaction to this materials, but like just from a standpoint as, uh, players, you haven't really found out anything about her or put anything in front of her that it's that zone at face value.

She seems really eager to acquire this, but very stressed about what this might mean to her and her work. I'm just going, uh, are you okay? You look very, uh, Overwhelmed, maybe? Well, um, it's This could be Uh, well, um And she kind of mumbles in her breath. Don't let the customers see you sweat. Don't let the customers see you sweat.

Don't let the customers see you sweat. And I just Can I hold up my hands and I just go Listen, we're We're friends. We're not We're not looking to Swindle you. We're We Not looking to trust you with this. I think everybody standing here wants the best out of this situation. So if this feels like a lot of pressure, perhaps we can talk a little bit more.

Maybe, maybe you have some items that you can exchange right now, um, to help make up what, you know, would be a cost, something that would be useful to us. Um, Or if you have a recommendation or of how we can keep these in good condition until you are ready to take them. If you can advise us on that, we're more than happy to take those steps.

And then we can make sure that you're the first person we come to once you're ready. So I, there's no immediate pressure. If that, if that helps. Relieve some of your, the stress that you're experiencing right now. I mean, if you would like, actually, um, and she kind of looks around and she If you could come over here And she just gestures a little bit closer to the spiraling plant above her head.

Just us? Or just me? Or us? Just, just the group. Okay. I'm assuming you're still attached to Seraphina via the back. Yes. Well, I mean, if I come So does she. Yeah. Uh, my dearest plant, I claim sanctuary. And as she says that, you can feel a little bubble gently fall of silence. Not silencing you all, but creating a barrier so that nobody can hear what's being said.

Boys. So, um, sorry about that. Uh, in the privacy of this space though, uh, it would wipe me out financially to buy those at a reasonable price. Um, I if either are some items that I could provide you to help compensate for that cost. I need to take this risk, but I'm really nervous about this. So here's my thought.

We have an income problem. It seems you maybe have a material problem. So, what if we sold you some outright up front, and we invest the rest in your business, and get a percentage from you, over time, as you are able to monetize this material? So, I would give you something that would keep things floating here, over And you would give me the whole lot, but a portion of it would become an investment between us.

We would be a silent partner in your business.

And the three of you are all amenable to this? I mean, it seems like a win win for everyone. What do you think? Murder! Also, we almost get killed a lot, so. You know, maybe it'll work out for you and you can just keep everything.

Or you could donate our percentage to a charitable. Or that. Uh, you could There are a lot of Go ahead. No, go ahead, go ahead. No, no, no, no, you go. Nope, I gotta remember it. Okay. Okay, um, uh, I mean we, we, we try to There are a lot of, um, issues in the city that could certainly use a dressing and if it seems that money always seems to be the cause or at least the what's lacking in order for those things to be resolved so money or magic the two m's of this world so what could you afford to part with today that wouldn't put you in Financial straits.

Well, if See, I just recently purchased an upgrade and she pats her, uh, cart. And the structure on the top is, like, kind of overbuilt. I just invested in this preservation spell. Um, and So I could, I could, I could take all of your product, which would be great. Um, but it means I'm down to Yes. 1, 000 gold.

My house! Um, I could, if I could retain a little bit of margin on that, because there are some, there's an opportunity here. If I can find a, a, um, reasonable apothecary turning these, raw ingredients into a more refined variety has a huge market value,

but I'm guessing that that's going to range anywhere from 100 to 200 gold to get that set up and retain full, uh, uh, without selling them some of the products in the process, which then means they're now a competitor for selling the refined materials. And I think you do understand that this is enough.

To make an entire lifetime's work preserved properly.

I guess that was a lucky find on our part then. Um, alright. Let's just, let's just say that in this case it's being put to better use than it was from it, from where we got it. So, if you can benefit if If we die and the people of this city benefit from our share, if, if we're able to benefit any, anybody besides the people that we're growing these.

How about we get 500 gold up front, we'll give you all the materials, and we get a 10 percent stake in your business. Um, roll a persuasion check. With advantage. And you have inspiration. Ah. I just want to know why Gus is doing the negotiations. He's not the face, but okay. Wait. I mean, I'm also, Larissa's not good at negotiating, so.

What was it? Uh, persuasion? Yes. Wait, what, what, what, what, what? I think I figured it out. Hold on. Ahem. Uh, Seraphina pops up and just goes, If giving you the books proves to be efficace, then hooray for us! Her face just looks really confused. Books? The things, the thing, we're not, they're not books. I don't know why I said books.

Mushrooms. The mushrooms. I got a 24 with the inspiration. Okay, Seraphina, enjoy that inspiration. You stretcher of stretches. Um, 24. I try? The drunken factor is even better. It's so good. She puts out her hand to you to shake, and then she reaches down and picks up a little, um, uh, a plant of some sort and wipes it on her palm first and hands it to you.

That was fish. Yes, yes! She shakes her hand with you, and you have made the deal. Has it been gum? She bites into the fruit. The half that she still has, she bites into it. This is great! Oh! Oh, this is setting us up! We're partners! We're business partners! By the way, I'm Ulua. Oh yeah, I'm Gush. Uh, this is Seraphina.

Hello! Hi! Hi! I'm Krint. Is that like C R I N T? I don't know how to write.

We can work on that if you'd like. No, it would mess with my friends. They would not want to grow as much if I was They like story time. Oh, I have lots of stories. Do they like music?

I don't know. We should try and experiment. I have a greenhouse out in the woods. Well, I had a greenhouse. It looks like it might be not a greenhouse anymore. Is the hollow council trying to take it? Yeah. My house is out there too. That's happening to me too. I'm working on it. So it's not purple. Or maybe red?

Well what's a greenhouse if it's not green? I don't know. Um, is your friend okay? Seraphina, a greenhouse is a, is a, actually a clear glass building where you grow plants. It's a temperature controlled building. It's called a greenhouse because the things inside of it are green. Uh. What?! You should check it out, I think the mechanics of it would interest you.

So, is it green? The, so the city is trying to take your land as well? Yeah, well, is it really ours? I feel it's very confusing because when you're outside the city limits, you can just establish yourself. And that's why I started off outside the city. And then when the city expands, they have rules and they make up rules about the places that weren't theirs before.

I do have, uh, I have, uh, a barrister that is helping with this. I'll, uh, I'll pass your name along as well. Well, um, I hope they're able to solve it for you. I don't think anybody's going to be able to solve it for me. Why not? I just don't know what a barrister is. A lawyer? Uh, Someone who's going to advocate A person who knows the law.

Yes, who's going to advocate for the law. Us, and for you and Gus to make sure that they can't take your land, or the land where you've been inhabiting. Oh, I really like this partnership now.

Like, the, the naivety is like, so cute, but also like, oh my god. We have to have t shirts. Oh honey, oh my god. We have to have t shirts now, if crimp dies we riot. Their charisma is super high, their wisdom is below par. So I was like, oh I know what that looks like. I can do this one.

Stand back guys, I got this. Watch out. I know how to do this. I can be adorable. I can be adorable and know nothing. Hi Ken! I don't qualify to be a druid, but I still grow plants because they like me enough. Just grow plants through sheer force of style. Like, legitimately, charisma, uh, a warlock background, just to grow plants.

Cranky. Prince, Prince, Plants are perky because Prince Perky. Yes, exactly. 100%. Oh, I'm so excited. I think I need to close down my stall for the day. Uh, and get things in motion. And here's your money. And she like, turns and then there's this little, uh, terracotta, uh, kind of bleached white, um, pot. And she says, cover your ears, please.

I'll plug my ears. As Seraphina doesn't make it quite in time, no I'm kidding. Uh, she pulls out a plant and there's just, even with your ears covered you hear the screeching, but she pulls out a bag from beneath it and she just hands you a very heavy bag of, uh, 500 gold. Okay. Alright, I'm

just gonna take that for now, so that's in my, I just put that in my inventory just so you guys know. Um. Sounds good. Um, uh. All right, um, I'm going to exchange information, like Ulua's, where to find her, where my house is, where Seraphina lives, just so like we know how to get a hold of each other. Yeah. And then, uh, we'll go on to a book store if there is one.

If there's anything you need ever, reach out. I know a lot of the Yeah, as you wander away. Oh, I'll be like, who's, uh, is there a good place to sell books around here? Yes, uh, actually if you, it's not public knowledge, but if you go to the bakery just across the way, upstairs they have a huge collection of books.

Complete bibliophile. That's not a, that's not an inappropriate thing. That's, I learned that it means that they're not actually doing anything dirty. It means that they, well, if they were going to do something dirty, it'd probably be with the books because I guess that's how that works. I don't really understand.

Um, yeah, they're, they're, they're a, there might be flour on their books if they're, I don't, never mind. I think I'm confused. Thank you for that information. All right, we're going to check out the, I'm going to go to the bakery and be like, I would like to sell some books. You walk into this bakery after being directed there and it is beautiful.

There are four large tables heaped with various types of baked goods. There's bundt cakes and pies and pretzels and buns and loaves and all sorts of glorious, glorious food. Um, I'm gonna turn to Seraphine and be like, would you feel better if you had some snacks? Swords! Next. Uh, the oven is creating this oppressive heat and they're covered head to toe in, uh, uh, flour, icing, other things.

The baking is clearly just done. And there's this kid. Maybe in their mid teens, uh, red hair, pointy ears. Uh, oh, uh, uh, sorry. Um, baking for tomorrow is almost ready. Uh, uh, I gotta get started on that. What, what are you, which order are you picking up? Uh, I'm not actually picking up. I have some books to sell.

And a friend of mine told me you might be interested upstairs here. Mom!

You hear the heavy stomping, thump thump thump thump, and a very large, red skinned being, sharp pointy ears, matronly, comes down. Her baking outfit is pristine. Not a scrap of flour or frosting. Her hands. Perfectly clean. She comes down the stairs and she looks at this case. Do you need did the flower bag exploded?

Hold still and you just hear

and her kid starts getting cleaned. I love that. This This stupid joke from campaign one just keeps coming back. Um, it's how everybody learned to do Prestidigitation. Nevermind that Asher became a god at the end of campaign one. His real legacy is that he, he's like a squeaky rag sound to clean people with Prestidigitation.

Um, I'm going to lean over to Ulua and be like, uh, perhaps you'd like to handle this negotiation. I think you're more persuasive than me. Might have used up my pers my deal making luck for the day. I can certainly try. And, um, I go over to her and I go, Um, our friend down the way with the lovely plants mentioned that you, um, are a lover of books and a collector and we happen to have some.

Um, That we are looking to, to sell, would you be interested in taking a look at them? Oh, I'm very curious. What, what, uh, what is the, a variety, a specific topic? Well, why don't we just pull them out and you can peruse them. If you have the time. Oh, there's, there's a lot. Where's a good spot to set them? Uh, let's go upstairs, just a second.

Takes her tongue, licks her face, and just, like, wipes her kid's face off. Like, I can't wait till you learn how to clean yourself. And then, she waves the three of you to follow her. It's not real inspiring for eating the baked goods here. This disgusting child who's cooking everything. Coming upstairs, you're in a room that could easily cosplay as a library, except that there are stacks of books on the floor, on top of the bookcases, there are stacks of books in places that they just shouldn't be.

I think in the modern day, you sometimes run into people who have dishwashers that are full of like, uh, paper towels and other things like that because they needed more storage space and they wash their dishes in the sink, um, or they make their kids do it. The fireplace has books in it. Uh, so, uh, let's find some seats, and she kind of, like, stacks some tomes up.

To become chairs. To be, uh, and please make yourself comfortable. Let's see what we have here. I'm going to kind of As Elu does like the talking, I'm just going to start removing the 400 pounds of books 450 pounds of books from my bag of holding and stacking them up. Um. Now, uh, and I just kind of turn to Seraphine and I'm like, Do you want to stay there, or do you want to sit on your own?

I want to, uh, and then I want to look at the woman and go, Can, can I, do you have any books on building things? Oh, yes, yes, yes, I do. I do. Quite a few. I wrote a few of them. Oh, you wrote them. Can I read one? Sure, I suppose. Um, I don't let them leave me, you know, when you adopt a book. Yeah, I'll just, I'll sit right here, and I sit down, and I go, and I sit here, and I'll read it.

Can I do a quick medicine check just to see how she's feeling? Like, to make sure she isn't gonna, like, throw up on a book. Yeah. Yeah. She's also not actually drunk, right? Because she only was drinking virgin drinks, right? She was drinking. Nah, I think this time she went full on. Okay. Lay alcohol, lay. That's what a dirty Shirley is.

If she was drinking a Shirley Temple, then yeah. But a dirty Shirley is, is alcoholic.

I keep looking over there. Fifteen. Seraphina. Yeah, man, I feel great. Okay. Okay. Okay. I mean, I think she feels great. Not sick, though. Just good. Okay. Okay. All right. And I just, I'm just gonna wait for, to be bestowed upon an amazing book to read to learn more. Yeah, I mean, she hands you a book and it's, you know, pretty decently sized.

So this is the one I wrote on water wheels. Okay, thank you. And I'm just going to start reading. I guess I shouldn't warn her about that. Never mind. And she comes over and she looks at, uh, Gus and, and Ulua. So, whoa, this is quite the collection. Yes, don't, don't feel pressured. Just read. Tax law. Fundamentals of

Huh. It's an encyclopedia of legal proceedings? Thanks.

She's like palming through them. And like as she goes through it's like book after book is ridiculously boring. And her face just gets more and more alight as she looks at them. Really? Like insight check? Yeah, roll an insight check. Okay. I basically I want to ascertain if she's genuinely interested in the books or if she's interested just acquiring more books and like, but is going to downplay their value.

Do you know what I mean? Okay. Okay. I rolled a 14. Okay, uh, as good as my other one. What is it, plus seven? 18.

Because she's keeping one eye on Seraphina the whole time and she's got this distraction thing. You're, you're, it's just really interesting. Like she's, She's constraining herself really hardcore. She's pretending to just like the subject matter of the books,

but she's really excited. Oh, just about the sheer number of books. Just like books. So, um, what would you, uh, propose as the adoption fee?

What? How many books are there? Do we know? Like, what's the actual number versus the number of, uh, versus the, uh, Because I feel like some of them are like huge books that weigh like 25 a bunch of little Poundage, so you just Going by poundage? That's a ton. That's a ton of books. I mean, we could So, since Keeping in mind that books in this world, like, have to be produced magically.

The, the, the, um, things like printing presses and stuff like that, they're just not something that people invest in anymore. Like that's the, the, the, the, if you imagine the industrial revolution was a magical revolution, everything was based on using and utilizing magic. Books still mean an individual is doing some sort of magical copy and paste.

Which means there's personal effort. So books are kind of expensive. Um, the fancier they are, the more expensive they are. Um, but producing a book is either paying someone to scribe it by hand, which takes a long time, but is low cost, or getting it magically, uh, recrafted using a variety of different spells.

Okay, well, are you interested in the whole lot, or just a few of them? Oh, yes, I wouldn't want anybody to feel left out. I feel like So, are you a book shelter? We rescue books. Your book rescuers, that is so wonderful. Where did you rescue these precious ones from? Uh, well Pick up, go back, . Well, so the, where we got these from, let's just say the location no longer exists because people, well, uh, people decided they didn't want anyone else to know that they were there, not us.

Um, these, uh, were rescued from cruel book owners and, uh, we want to, they were being neglect, make sure neglect go to a better home. Truly. Well, for being neglected, they are remarkably well kept. Very little in terms of grooming will need to be done. I can do a little bit of restoration work. And, um, but They would have certainly perished if we had not grabbed them.

Well, are you not the most wondrous of people? Um, are you incorporated? We're not, we're just good Samaritans. Um, But if you're interested, we can certainly keep you in mind if we, if we come across other Well, that would limit my ability to do a donation to your organization if you don't actually have an organization You should really become affiliated That would be great.

There are tax benefits for both you and for those who adopt. I'm happy to adopt without the tax benefits, although it does mean I can adopt more if there is, um, those sorts of pieces involved here. But, um, it looks We'll keep that in mind for the future. This is kind of our first real foray. We just happened upon a very large collection.

The world needs more freelance. There's folks out there ready to rescue the abandoned, and

I feel like, I feel like Asher would appreciate this lady so much. I'm gonna, I'm, I'm just gonna turn Gus, because you've said that, I need you to roll a perception check.

Did you say that out loud? No, but That's on that one, sorry. So, uh, Seraphina and Ulua, Gus never sees this, but both of you catch a little emblem in the corner of the fireplace that, uh, lists and says, Asher Society for Book Preservation and Recovery. Awww. She is legitimately One of the people who saw, uh, that side of Asher and chose to be, well, a society formed around legitimately, like, we rescue books from people who treat books poorly.

Aww. Um, I'm just gonna turn to Gus and say, maybe, maybe we go by weight? I don't know anything about any of these books or what they're worth, so. Um, I mean, maybe it's going to make us a fair offer and just take it. Okay. She seems like she would, would, would do that. And then we can just, you know, with the promise that we'll come to her first, if we, if we have any others.

Okay. I'm going to turn back. Um, so any, what, what do you feel would be fair for, um, Well, it's not about what I would feel is fair. It's really what sort of investment you had to put into this, what your costs were, your overhead. You've got to make sure you're, you can continue doing your good work. So really, I just need to hear from you what the adoption fees will be, and then I will make sure that Well, let's see, there was, uh, Collection, the Dungeon Dove, the thing from the Collapsion Building, the Uh, hikes through the caves underground,

about 1, 500 gold. Let me see to it, my dear. I will be right back. I just look at Ulua, when she turns around, I look at Ulua

like Uh, you can hear a creaking sound as she walks behind a pile of what you thought was a wall, but it's just more books. And, um You hear another creaking sound and she comes back down and says, Well, I might be a little bit short, but since you are those who rescue books, perhaps we could work out an exchange.

I don't normally allow my precious wonders to leave the nest. But this particular, uh, tome, It's a free spirit. Likes to see the world. Um, so I could hopefully interest you in 750 gold and this precious little bundle. I, are you sure? I mean, I, listen, maybe, what if in exchange you allow us to come peruse your collection for research purposes?

When we, when we need, have need of it. We, as, as you may have inferred, rescuing can be quite dangerous. And I would hate for, uh, one of your precious

lings, uh, to wind up I'm trying to think of a a noun for Booklings. One of your little booklets to, um End up somewhere, somewhere unsavory. In, in one of our attempts. But I could, I could keep it safe inside my bag. It should be safe enough. Right, but if something happens to you Can I look at the book and just see what it is before we just Yes.

Uh, looking at the book Just give me a second, I need to pull it back up.

And I just kind of elbow Gus and I go, don't be selfish. How a warlock can cast 90 fireballs at once. Um, sorry, I just closed it on accident rather than keeping it open. Um, which is my bad. I'm more interested for Seraphina that she would get a book to leave with, so I'm curious to see what it is.

Do your thingy.

Um. We're gonna have to collect, um, books everywhere we go now.

At least keep an eye out. And file R 50123 for book rescuing. Maybe we should keep the one on tax law.

It's cool, I have a lawyer. I was gonna say, if she wasn't interested, well we know who to go to next. Okay,

so So looking at the book, um, the title stands out to you, and the title is Asher's Book of Well Kept Secrets and Lost Tales. Um, kind of like looking at it in first inspection, the pages are blank.

Go ahead and roll an arcana check.

Uh, dirty 20. Uh, as you are looking at it in this moment, you, and you're focusing on this empty page, just this particular empty page, you see text start to form. Um, and it's in a language you understand. Honestly, it's in one of any of the languages you understand. And it shares a, uh, this is, you have found the baked book.

The what book? The baked book. And it's, and as you kind of read that first part, it extrapolates further. This bakery has rescued and it's got quotes in it. 70 generations of books.

And in the big book, you found this book, which will tell you one secret a day. Cool.

Uh, this could be Who's secret? Any secret. It is a book of I'm gonna be like, book, what is today's secret? I think that works. See a little ellipses, period, period, period, period. I just shared it, silly. Oh, I love a sassy book! Yes! Okay, we'll ask again tomorrow. I'll close the book. As you close it, you see more ellipses forming.

I'll put it back up. The ellipses keep forming, forming, forming, forming. Smartass. Alright. I think, uh, we can keep this safe in my bag of holding and return it to you after it's seen a bit of the world. Yeah. If your security, your magical security device from which you put all of these others is, uh, safe location and I feel confident.

Also, the last, the last thing it told me was that it was time for it to wander the world again. So I, I am guessing that it was, um, it knew you were coming. Smart book. Interesting. All right, I think we have a deal. And we'll certainly Bring more books. Yes. We are, our primary career is investigators, so we are in a situation to come across rare books frequently, I would think.

I've heard of this term and um, I always have seen myself as a literary investigator, so we are of the same people. Agreed. Seraphina, how's your book? Seraphina, roll an intelligence check. Okay, okay.

Intelligence. Plus four. Twenty two. Woohoo! Uh, with the 22, you've really absorbed this knowledge and you have some new ideas about how water might power different contractions that you make. Even rainwater could be used. Um, the author, who you've met, uh, actually really got into detail around this and even was talking about how all of Overton could potentially become a floating city through the power of the water wheel.

Wow.

Um, but you, you will now have advantage on, um, creations and understanding creations that are powered by water. Very cool. That's awesome. I'm writing that down.

Rats. Doo doo doo doo. Well, uh, if I can interest you in a, um, baguette? A croissant? I think we always like a good snack. A croissant. Please. Uh, I have a whole room dedicated to cookbooks and I just, baking worked best. Honestly, a good meal can make or break a day. And I think baked goods are necessary at any meal.

They are the foundation of any meal. Sweet or savory? We do both and more. I also have this new sour rye to die for. Do you deliver? Of course. You can't run the entire city's baking empire without delivery. Could I set up a recurring delivery to my home for me and my sisters? Sure. Um, sisters, that sounds familiar.

Certainly, leave your address and she hands you a little slip of paper. Uh, and, uh, we'll coordinate out deliveries. Uh, usually folks like to send in their requests ahead of time. Um, and I prefer to go with the daily delivery schedule, fresh baked is best, but we can also do weekly. Let's say weekly. Just because we're in and out and I wouldn't want anything to go to waste.

So I would say if we could do like a Sunday mid morning, that would be beautiful. Um, almost everybody has late nights on Saturdays, Fridays and Saturdays. The weekends can be long days for us. So, um, or nights rather. So Sunday mid morning would be beautiful. And as for requests. I would say surprises.

Whatever, whatever you feel, whatever you feel great about, I, I think when, when people make food for others, their feelings come through. So whatever is bringing you joy in that moment, please feel free to send along. Beautiful. Well, uh, since it looks like you're all leaving along with, and she kind of hands you this canvas bag of various baked goods, I would like to leave you all with my specialty.

Um, and she pulls out a, from like a, a rack as you, she's kind of walked you downstairs at this point. Uh, she pulls out a rack and you can see a bunch of different individually baked little mini cakes. They look kind of like moon pies, um, but each are in the shape of a book and they're stamped across the top of it is chapter closed.

Oh, it's so good. And with that. We're going to close up this session so much next time. Thank you. Market day to, to be continued, hope you find your pod and take care of yourselves. We'll see y'all later. Bye.