Probability of Demise

Welcome adventurers to Probability of Demise, the podcast where critical fumbles meet critical facepalms. Join us as we delve into the darkest dungeons, slay the stupidest gremlins, and roll enough ones to make a beholder weep. Forget epic storylines and heroic deeds. Here we celebrate the chaotic beauty of bad roles, questionable decisions, and characters with more charisma than sense.

We'll be your dungeon masters of disappointment, guiding you through campaigns where the only guaranteed treasure is a mountain of laughter, and maybe some psychic scarring. So grab your nat 1 dice, strap on your anxiety helmets, and prepare to witness the glorious trainwreck that is our D& D journey.

Because, in the end, it's Even if your character dies face first into a pile of pudding, at least you'll have the Dice God's permission to laugh your ass off.

Welcome

back to Probability of Demise, the place where you click like, subscribe, leave comments about how sexy we all are because we're as hot as a split party. Check out our shop and buy our shirts and stuff. If you were here in person in my apartment, you would actually have seen my, um, unmentionables, not my unmentionables, but my, like, my tummy.

My non tucked tummy that does not have surgery. At any rate, uh, that was too much information for anybody, much less myself. I am actually embarrassed. And so now Good job, Jess. It's your turn.

Okay, greetings adventurers, and welcome to the Word of the Day. Today, we are journeying into the wondrous world of language. Guided by the role of the mighty D 100, thanks to Jason. Fuck me. So, if you're new, welcome. Each episode, we unlock a new word to enrich our quest and delight our imaginations. So sharpen your wits and ready your ears to unveil today's magical term.

And I have rolled. I forgot what I rolled, but I wrote it down. Today, I rolled 87, and today's word is, uh,

Consinity. Consinity means, uh, something, what does it mean? Skillfully blended, or like, harmonious, you know, harmony, uh, and used in a sentence. Could be something like, The Wizard's Spellbook was a masterpiece of Consignity. With each incantation and rune, uh, meticulously arranged to ensure perfect magical harmony.

Word of the day! Yay! Harmony!

Can you, can you spell it? Cons

Consignity. C O N C I N N I T Y

Got it. Okay. Jess missed out on her opportunity to be a Spelling Bee champion. Yeah, my

dyslexic ass would. Never.

We all have our joys.

And our foibles.

So, we're back here in Overton, actually just beneath the surface of Overton in the temple. The flickering torchlight casts wavering shadows across the crumbling stone walls as Ulua, Seraphina, Gus, and their recently released ooze companion Wobble regroup in the hidden worship chamber.

Wobble!

Seraphina tenderly nursed her acid burned flesh on her arm where the giant blue ooze Things happened, Ulua's healing magic closed some of the worst of the wounds, I'm sure, and the ordeal served as a harsh reminder of the temple's dangers.

And to maybe, you know, think before we touch things.

You're not

the

best.

I was attacked for no reason.

Watch as Wubble shudders slightly. The formerly, um, inert slime contained within a container is now an essential part of your team, um, and possibly, uh, invaluable against the larger ooze can, which you can still see many are up on the ceiling. So traversing the space will require care.

Uh, despite your injuries, you all have a defiant spark in your eyes. Um, you. know that you need to press on and uncover the secrets left behind by the treacherous Ascended who once ran this temple, um, exchanging whatever glances may be tinged with trepidation or possibly even better fortified by resolve.

After a short rest in a slightly dangerous room, you still yourselves to plunge deeper into this forgotten temple's gloomy depths.

This place, and your intention to unravel it all, and this squelching noise as you step into a pile of ooze poo.

Oh, God, sorry.

And you stepped on a wobble and they're very offended right now. That way. Welcome back. It's spooky season. Yes. You came down the stairs, through the doorway, into the space, and you're standing right here ish.

You can see off, up in the ceiling, you can see that there are slimes still attached, lying and lurking away. And off to the left, past a font, you can see a door closer to the, um, altar. And then just to your right, you can see another doorway.

Two candles are lit at this entranceway, The light at the, um, altar itself has burnt out. I think

I still have my light spell cast on my staff, too.

Yeah, given that you do have that, I'll give you a little bit more light in this space until you tell me you want it to go away. Um, bloop.

Yeah, I think we each had a torch, and Ooh.

Ooh.

Um,

Gus had

one on his staff. Shoot, come on, shoot!

What would you like to do? Well,

um

I'd like to sit in a pew and pray that I could just go home alive. Um,

hang on, let me see if I have any sort of like I don't think I do, but, uh, Like, what's the kind of spell where you can tell if shit's gonna happen?

Divination?

Yeah! Those! I don't think I do, but, Yeah, I don't. It's not equipped.

Is there anything

Like

Okay, so I know you said that there was an altar up front. Can I just go check out the altar? There's nothing on the altar Other than the candle that's now burnt out, right? Okay.

Um, yes, but as you approach the altar, the candle relights. And you can make out three skulls,

some haphazardly

tossed here, and ancient brittle.

Um, and there's a thick layer of dust on the altar itself.

And then looking to my left or right, wasn't there a door over here as well?

There

Look at this door, see if there is, uh, maybe any writing on the door, like, exit this way.

I would like to assist her and I'm looking for

information.

I would like to assist her by walking with her and looking at the ceiling to make sure neither of us is walking under any oozes.

Yeah, I've assumed

because we've made very clear where the oozes were, but apparently she forgot about that, so she's dead.

Um, but I was assuming you were being careful in your traversing of this space and we'd already moved past that part of the puzzle. But, um, now that I know that she totally forgot about that, I think next time she just dies automatically. How about that? That work for y'all? Um, Seraphina and Gus, you come up to the door.

I will leave it to you two to decide. Who's going to roll an investigation check, because what you do see here is a complex layer of symbols and images. Um, and that is going to

Would, would these symbols require

some investigation. Would these symbols, um I'm not gonna do this anymore.

classify as, uh, possible language?

Uh,

roll your investigation check.

Ah, okay. You want this for free?

Okay.

I guess I should have known better. I would like to investigate. I

like the sepia look. That's cool.

Okay. Investigate.

Do they die?

Uh, 19.

19. Um,

Oh, hold on. Jason's audio cut out.

It's okay, we'll be patient, we can come back. We had a good pause in

930. I was trying to say that I rolled a nat 20 on the investigation check.

Okay. Uh, so there's a nat 20 and a 19, so high, high rolls both ways. That's a 25 for me.

Yeah, I'll take that nat 20.

I think you both pick up that this is a language that was in the early days of Overton. And it's actually the, the original language of Overton, the language that was spoken when the Timeless Trio was here. And it describes a figure, a crone, who predicts the future and divines things for individuals. As you read through it, you realize that this is, at least from what you're reading here, an homage to her and that the pathway before you It is intended as a test to her patronage.

But reading through this information about the Crone, you don't recall a god fitting what's being described here in this role.

There's brief mention of other gods that you do know,

but the Crone is definitely not a modern god, or is possibly a god that has been forgotten. Or lost. Or destroyed.

Hey, hey Gus, Gus. You wanna go look at the other door now?

Um, sure.

Maybe it says something. Okay.

I guess we'll go look at the other door. Carefully.

Doing like, you know, like James Bond rolls and dives to avoid. Roll a dexterity saving

throw.

I will. You could,

you could. If you roll it at one, one of them is going to attack you.

Dexterity saving throw. Nineteen. You're a

dickson motherfucker.

I'm like extra on point.

Slipping under pews. Climbing along the wall like a shadow of a shadow. You make your way over.

And for a second you're afraid that you're going

to be consumed by an ooze because you hear a and it's just Wubble.

I'm a holler out being like, maybe I should change professions and be a ninja.

Are there ninjas in this world? I don't know if there are ninjas.

You've just made them so apparently there are. See?

Um. I would like to offer my hands to Wubble, and see if he wants to come hang out for a minute.

Um, Wubble is your size right now.

Holy cannoli, I didn't know he grows. Just kidding, I'm gonna give him a nice little pat pat and be like, You are a good boy. Or girl. Or sick.

At one point, Wubble did encompass three of you, so.

I forgot about that. The

great thing about buying a noose is you can size yourself as needed.

Uh, and then I'd like to read the, read, look at the, look at the door.

You see the exact same copy. Dang,

same thing. Should we, I guess I suppose we have to open one of these doors.

Oh, what if you, wait, uh, I want to look for Ulua.

Ulua! Where are you? Where's Ulua?

I'm still standing at the open door with my arms crossed.

Ulua, Ulua, do you want to go to the other door? And we'll open them at the same time.

The one that you were just at?

Yeah. Or unless you don't want to walk that far, you can go to this one.

It's, no, it's fine. I can go there.

It's just It's fine.

If you take the path I just took, you'll avoid the oozies.

Um, I think I can just hug the walls. It's fine. Two, just,

just be

careful. I will,

I appreciate your concern.

I'm gonna lean over to Gus and be like, she's too pretty to get booze on her.

Mm-Hmm mm-Hmm. .

Mm-Hmm. .

Sure, sure. I'm just gonna kind of like gingerly kind of walk along the wall and.

Well, as we said in the last session, walking along the walls is probably the best way to get around these easily, and you easily make your way over. Um, you are accompanied by the sounds of the pfft, pfft, pfft, as Wobble follows you.

Okay. To that other door.

I'm, I'm trying to remember, I think I was at least charmed by Wobble at one point. Am I still charmed?

Um, the interesting thing about Wobble's charm is that, unlike the spell charm, it doesn't wear off. Okay.

Wubble has

Riz.

We're too old to say Riz. Way to

stay hip. I've

worked with little kids for too long to ever let go of new linguistic phenomena.

Wubble has drip. Um, I'm gonna, uh No, Wubble

doesn't have drip, just Riz. They kind of like It's that sloughing off thing that kind of distracts from the actual outfits that Wubble will occasionally wear.

Wubble

has drip. All right, um, as I notice Wobble following behind me, I'm just going to kind of like stick out a hand. I'd really like to grab, but like, in case he wants, er, Wobble wants to hold my hand. I don't know if they would, but like, I don't know how sentient Wobble is.

Wobble likes

people.

Yeah, but like beyond friend or foe. I

mean, it feels as you expect, uh, if you imagine what a pineapple hand would feel like. It's got a little tingle, leaves your hand a little tingly after a while. But as you are holding Wobble's hand, um, and looking at this door as they're at the other door.

I'm, I'll, I'll put my hand, so there's, there's a, a, just like a regular handle, like a knocker kind of handle, or what kind of handle? It looks like it's push.

Oh, ah, ah. Keep it. Oh, hallelujah.

Yes?

Should we check for traps first?

That would probably be good. Did, I thought, did you not do that when you were over here?

No, I just looked at it.

Okay, um.

It talks about, like, gods, and an old god. Or maybe it's a god. It talks about the, the

An old

crone. Yeah, a crone, which I don't recognize. But no, I didn't check for traps, I just looked at it. Okay. Asher, not Asher. Asher. Because did you check for

traps?

I, I did not.

Yeah. Okay, not.

Unless, unless at 25 on my investigation check counts as checking for traps.

I mean, it's not, it's, it's less my expertise than yours, but I can certainly take a look and see if I notice anything. Okay.

Okay. So both. Whoever is at whichever door, roll your, um, investigation for traps.

Twenty two.

Oh,

so close to it. That's so funny.

Investigation, you said. A ten.

You all feel fairly confident that the door in front of you is not trapped in any way.

Ulua, you looking at the door like, I guess.

Send Wubble first.

That's awful. Um. I mean, to be fair, I'm just gonna open the door. I didn't say I would go through it.

Yeah, you push open the door that you're at. I was gonna do it at the

same time.

Too late.

No, I didn't say I pushed open the door. I said I was going to And you

see a small ante room with these, uh, glowing shapes.

I guess

What, uh, what do I see when I open, I guess we're

gonna push our door open at the same time. You see a narrow

hallway. Um, and you can't see much beyond the narrow hallway, but you do see that there is an open entryway beyond that, but there's also a turn in the corridor to the right.

I hollered to Ulua. I see nothing! Um, well, it's a turn, but

There's a small room, um, with There's a big door. Oh, you didn't say

the door. And some

glittery stuff. Okay, uh, so glowing figures or glittery stuff, or both?

They are floating, glowing things that could be somewhere between glitter and Go ahead and roll a perception check.

Okay. Hang on a sec.

Allow

me a moment to perceive this thing.

Eleven. Maybe I'll get to twenty by the end of the night.

Eleven! Eleven!

Um, can you go ahead and roll a charisma saving throw?

Uh huh.

You are very charismatic. Don't worry.

Whether I can save on it is the question. Fifteen.

You hear voices, but you're able to withstand them. hold on the draw that is happening here. You hear voices call to you and say

help us help us Restore help us please

I'll think about it, and I just kind of slowly shut the door

So

there's some sparkly things in there that Tried to do something with me and I managed to shake it off, but they asked for help to be restored and then there's a big door,

but that's about it in that room.

Do you want to go through that door or this one and see what's through here? I think we should all stay together.

I don't disagree with that. Um, I think if either of you come in here, they may try to do whatever it is that they tried to do to me. Okay. So you could maybe, I don't know if that's something you want to take into account as to whether or not you go in there.

Well, let's check this way first, I guess.

Your door? My door.

Uh, our door.

Okay. And I

scooch, scooch away.

As you go through the other door and you come to, and you come to the um, what looked like an open space, you realize that it's not truly open, it's a gated, uh, Entryway with a lock on it. But then looking to your right, you see the bones of humanoids of some sort.

And the corridor turns to the right again.

Uh, Sharifina, do you think you can open that?

Uh,

I'm gonna go try to pick a lock.

As, as she, as she, uh, I'm assuming I would have caught up to them when we would have been walking together. As she walks by, I'm just gonna kind of, um, I'm just gonna, like, put my hand on the small of her back, but not like a, not in a, any particular way, just more of like an encouraging kind of like, You got this.

And, Yes.

What is your Bardic Inspiration worth right now?

That's a great question. I don't remember. It's been a hot minute. And you

leveled. D8.

A date.

Worth a date.

23.

The door unlocks.

I go, ta da!

Roll a dexterity saving throw.

Okay.

All of us or just Jess? Didn't check for traps.

Ah, shit.

Correct. All of us or just Jess? Just

Jess.

Dexterity saving throw.

Did you use my inspiration or not? Not

yet. Oh, wait. Okay, thank god. So, eight. And what was your inspiration?

A D8. A D8.

Don't say that yet, you could roll a one.

Shit, I lost count.

Nineteen.

Nineteen, you barely jump back and slightly into Ulua's arms as she was just behind you, kind of bumping up against her body as the door was spring loaded and launched itself backwards to you because it is a door that was meant to be and intended to be kept in the open position. It wasn't really so much of a trap as I just wanted to torture you.

Uh, you see a much wider corridor beyond, and yet you still have the bones in a darker corridor in another direction. So, up to you what you choose to do.

As she jumps back, I just kind of make one of those like, whoop, noises.

I immediately, like, try to cover my horns and jump away in the fear that I stabbed her in the boobie. Okay,

breastical

interaction negated in all ways. You jump forward, which means you jump into the corridor. Okay, good. Moving forward. Uh, to the right you can see there's an ornate door, and of course there is this, uh, grate in the floor, the parts of bone, um, it all looks really old. And then off to your left you can see an open entryway into a slightly less dank looking flooring.

I'm gonna poke my head out and be like, I see things. Um, there's another big pretty door, and there's a grate on the ground, and then there's a room with fancy flooring.

Alright, well, considering the last room that we were in that had a grate contained a toxic gas, we should maybe keep an eye out for anything that might trigger something as such?

Um I

immediately go like, oop! Watch out, move! I

would like to investigate this room for traps that could set the gas off.

Roll your investigation check.

22 again.

22. Uh, you don't see anything that sets it off. There is some traces of various elements here, and you, smelling at the grate, it's not an enjoyable odor.

But in the course of your investigations, you do make out that there is a Clearer pathway of less dust from the doorway you've just come through to the, that finer, um, flooring ahead. The dust to the right looks like it has been less disturbed, although there has been some disturbances here.

It appears that the just is less disturbed this way, so the higher traffic area is that way.

Encourages anyone to go in a specific direction.

I don't see any traps.

I'm gonna scoot along the wall, still, uh, towards the left. Doorway and just kind of peek my head around see to see what I can see CC

You can see some Cairns a bone that does not belong to a humanoid creature or if it did it was a very large one and yet another doorway

Show me bones

Little concerned that something down here is eating all of these people and animals But

well to be fair in the last room. They were probably dissolving them versus

Just my trap check, did that count for this doorway? Like is this a trap free doorway?

If you

want it to be.

Then sure.

Are you looking for other traps than just doorway traps?

Um.

You investigated this room for traps. Okay.

Well then I would like to investigate the next room for traps.

Roll your investigation check.

Oh, this one's not as good. Uh, that is 11. 21.

Eleven!

It appears to be very safe.

Strange that they changed up the floor and it's a little old and cracked.

Uh, I think this one is okay. But I'm very old. I'm gonna just walk in.

To your right you can see this little urn sitting there seemingly innocently.

I would like to look at the urn. Oh no.

Don't. Touch it. I'd like to note I have not gone in there yet. I've only

peeked my head around, but as he heads towards it I go, remember what happened the last time you touched something? Just saying. I'm just looking at it. Technically I touched it. You touched the statue thing.

He touched something else. You In my defense

I also turned off the gas. You are

looking at the urn. Um, in what way are you looking at this urn? Just visually?

I'd like to sniff it.

All right, go ahead and roll an investigation check. Good.

That's a seven.

It smells old. It

appears to be an old urn in a higher traffic area where the residents or the occupants or the occupiers of an older temple. You would think they would pick up oddities and old things like this, but this one hasn't been disturbed. It's just sitting here.

I think I'm just going to leave it there and then go look at the other door.

You turn away and I need you to roll a wisdom saving throw.

The urn pinches my butt.

Y'all jump to death each time. It's not always death.

That's a natural one.

Bye. It was fun. It's been real.

You're looking at the door. It appears to have very similar symbols on it. And Gus,

Gus, Gus, wake up.

Hello.

Gus, wake up.

I'm awake.

You lazy old bastard. You need to work. This

is my wife.

Uh, am I dead again?

Dead, you better not be.

The last time I saw you I was dead, twice.

Well, these are always choices we make. But And then as you have that kind of flash of memory and as you come out of it you realize that it is a memory. You remember this morning where she had kind of gotten you going when you had been late.

You are again facing the door. Um

That was weird.

I just had like a memory flashback to a time I was late for work. Very weird.

Stress dream. I get them a lot.

While you're awake?

No. Was it the door? What did you do?

I don't know. I just learned to walk toward the door and it just happened.

Maybe somebody else should try this door. I

guess I will, is it another push

based on from what I,

they're all push. This door seems to be a push situation or a tap and it pulls back.

Okay. I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna from now on, whenever I go to open a door, just out of caution, I'm going to. Like, take my, my arm soaks and just kind of like wrap it around my hand so I'm not touching the door directly.

So there's like a barrier as if I was wearing gloves, even though I'm not wearing gloves. Just, I would like to state that that's what I'm doing from now on. Okay.

And if I didn't touch the door, I just walked over to the door.

No, I know. I'm just You, you see a long corridor stretching ahead of you. There's a couple of places where torches have been lit recently.

They look like they've been placed there more recently. Apparently they're not. part of any of the structure. They're, they look like they're long poles. They've been jammed into the stonework of the area in this tunnel, or in this corridor, and to the right you can make out at least two entranceways, two side rooms of some sort, and at the very far end you can make out a small door offset.

We're so gonna get lost.

I'm going to just kind of go over my shoulder just, and just whisper. It's like, There seems to be a

little decent activity here, so maybe we should try and move it later.

I'll roll badly for stealth.

Roll your stealth as a group.

10. Does

this count as rocky terrain? Oh no. Stone floor.

Huh?

Does this count as rocky terrain because it has a stone floor?

Sure, why not. I feel like you're deep gnomish.

My other roll was better anyway. Uh, 16.

You rolled the best of everybody. Jess had a 6. Larissa had a 10. And our ooze friend had it too.

Oh dear.

So coming out into the corridor, squelching, stumbling, talking,

there is a torch that can be lit, and to the right you notice a lot of mist coming out of the open archway to a side room.

I will use, press the digitation to light the torch. I'm assuming I can, right?

You just did. Okay. See?

Not the TARDIS.

Do you wish to? I will go forward and peek around that corner.

You make out all sorts of strange flora, odd locations where light is coming from and you can hear the sound of steam releasing from some mechanism hidden beneath the floor. Um, do you wish to peek further?

Um, is it just steam like that's misting around the floor or is it something else? Can I tell?

Uh, roll a perception check?

Or actually, roll a nature check. Roll a nature check. Forget perception.

I just kept the 11, because I re rolled for the nature check and I got another nat one. You're in jail.

It looks like mist and steam, or steam that's slowly condensing down into mist.

Um, do I recognize the plants? Like, are these underdog

plants? The ones that you can see closest, you can see a couple of, uh, species of myconid esque shroom.

Hmm. Um, things he would have eaten, but there are also plants from the surface growing here. These aren't necessarily underdark plants and surface plants. This almost looks like a long abandoned herbarium, where somebody specifically took plants that wouldn't survive and brought them here, and using a mixture of magic and other things, created a climate for them here.

Does anyone need some rare herbs and spices? I

do want to peek further around and see if anybody's in this room.

So the, just to clarify for my own, uh, understanding, the wyvern's venom is named wyvern's venom or it is wyvern's venom?

It's named wyvern's venom.

Um,

do we know what wyvern's venom is made out of? Could it be one of these plants?

I have, uh, I roll a history check to see if I know that.

Go for it.

Twelve. You guys have all betrayed me.

Um, you know that there are components to it, but your investigations didn't dig deeply into the manufacturer, um, but most of the places that produced Wyvern's Venom, you don't recall there being natural elements, but much more alchemical.

I don't think so. I think it's more, uh, alchemical than this.

Okay. Not so much grown as made.

Alright, well,

I don't particularly need to look in this room if we don't think it's related to why we're here.

And Gus, to follow up on your previous question, you do make out, um, some similar wispy creatures to those that you'd seen above, um, floating at the distant end of the room.

Is this the same kind of glowy creature that asked for help, or is

it a different

glowy creature?

I'm not sure.

Uh, if Alou is there, she might be able to verify whether or not they're the same or not. Alou, are you also looking through?

Um, I guess if he, when he would have gotten to the archway and nothing happened, yes, I would have followed

up behind. These don't look anything the same. These are very different.

Um, they're slower, first of all, and they're not sparkly.

No, these are, these are what were flying around upstairs and disappeared when we, when we hit the, was there a gong? No. No, what did we, what noise did we make?

It was like a thing that I like put a candle inside of that turned off the gasp.

Gus,

you've been climbing for hours.

Your eye's well adapted to this environment, but it would be nice to see something besides gray walls, darkness, damp under your hands. But there's a new smell. You've heard about this, but you haven't experienced it before.

It's hard to describe. It's pungent. It hurts your nose. But not in an awful way, not in a way that makes you feel sick. And not in the way that the mushrooms you grew up eating did. It's bright and you don't have the words for it.

You snap back to yourself and you're staring again at the glowing objects in the distance. Uh,

I'm, I must be getting tired. I'm keep fading. I'm just gonna like step out of this room. Take a step back.

Should we? Take a longer rest?

No, I think I'm okay. I just, uh, something is meshing with my mind a little bit.

As you step back out of the room,

there's money being held out to you. Your voice says, just take it. You know you can't. You shouldn't and you won't. You stand on principles

and you also realize that. You've just lost a friend, because you can't trust them. You step back into the room and see Ulua and Seraphina looking at you.

Um, I should stay between you. I just had another weird memory flash. Something is in my head. This time it was my old partner trying to get me to take a bribe.

Seems to be random. I

don't know if what I'm thinking of trying would hurt or harm you or possibly work.

The look has fireball on me.

I'm gonna look at Gus and I'm just gonna say, okay, do you trust me? Of course. Okay, um,

I don't know if this will work, and I don't know if there's anything that you're going to have to do to help it work, but just keep that in mind. Um, and I'm going to, like, just kind of get down to eye level with him, and I'm going to put my hands on his shoulders, and I'm going to cast, uh, Dispel Magic and see if it does anything.

Um, yeah, you cast Dispel Magic, and, um, Any active magic you have going on, Gus, is dispelled, which includes the light. So you're all plunged into a little bit darker, although you still have the torches and the torch lit behind you.

That's it.

As far as things that are apparent.

How do you feel?

Uh, the same.

Okay. Sorry about the light.

It's okay. I can light it again if we end up needing it.

Well, what you might want to do is, uh I think you do something with your fortitude.

Um, I mage armored myself when we came in here last, last time.

Yes, and that's me telling you.

Yeah, it lasts for eight hours.

And

I just cast

Huh?

Oh, I gotcha. You just stole my mage armor then.

Trying not to spell it out for ya. Okay, alright, well, um, I guess I, I can go first. Um.

I will recast my mage armor.

As you recast your Mage Armor on yourself, um, and Ulua takes the lead. Ulua, do you go into this garden space or do you continue down the corridor?

I'm gonna continue down the corridor, uh, gingerly looking for either, um, recent footprints or anything along the wall that looks disturbed.

Roll

a survival check.

Cause these are going so well for me. Ooh, that's actually not bad. Survival. 18. 18.

Yeah, you make out that along the corridor there are, uh, there's a clear path from the door that you've left bypassing the plant space and bypassing the second door that you see to your right and heading straight for the wooden door.

You also can make out there's another sconce for a torch to be lit.

As I approach a light. As well as a candle. I, I light a candle. The torch. I

don't necessarily like the candle. Um, I'm gonna gingerly walk up to the door. Not the, not that one. No, the far one.

No keyhole. Okay. Um.

Should we check out this other room?

If you would like. It doesn't seem to have, doesn't seem to show any sign that people have gone in here recently.

Well, they told me at the, when I had them persuaded at the party that, There were still wyverns items stored here So if we could figure out which room is stored in that would be useful for telling the officers above.

I'm watching Rorik's face I don't know why Something about their expression.

I Refuse to give anything away. If

you'd like to check that room you can.

I will go and look at the door traps and stuff You

We roll your investigation check.

Ha! I'm back, 24.

No obvious traps, although there is a creeping coolness coming from the door.

Um, and you don't hear anything, but you do smell something that is quite literally the opposite of that memory you had of coming up through the Underdark towards the surface for the first time and having that bright smell that you later associated with flowers.

Um,

I would. I'd like to put my ear up to the door.

Roll a perception check. Four.

You hear a creaking noise.

And the door itself is cold? The door

itself is cool. Cool and a little damp.

Something weird is in this room. The door is cold and clammy.

Did you want to open it?

Kind of, but that's just my curiosity at work.

We don't have to.

I defer to you. I can have a spell ready to cast if you want to open the door.

Eh, let's give it a shot. Alright,

I am going to

You only live once unless you're me, apparently.

Hmm?

You only live once unless you are

us.

Um,

I'm going to hold, um

If you're going to hold a spell, just be aware that you will have to check it off. Whether or not you release it or not.

Did you like a cancer that you can hold?

I mean, that's what I mean. I'm preparing, I guess. Sorry. Yeah. Don't, don't say hold and then announce the spell. 'cause that means checking it off your list.

Okay. Then you get the quick launch of it. So

I would like to hold an Eldridge blast because it doesn't matter.

You can do that

Eldridge blast with his hand or with his hand.

How many Eldridge blast do you have now?

Hmm. How

many do you have now, your levels? Forty

seven.

Okay. I have two right now.

Door opening? Yes. Yeah, I'll open it.

The room is dominated by a cage in the middle of it and some piping that runs along and seems to be broken in different places. You noticed, you noticed a very similar off in the distance urn to one that you passed by before. You can also see the remains of a human noid, as well as a large couple of buckets dripping with condensation on the outside.

The pipes, and I'm sorry I can't, I couldn't create the right background for the big huge pipe in the middle, but you get the waft of damp air from that. This entire space feels like a refrigerator of sorts.

This feels a little like a morgue,

but with a cage.

An empty cage? That's, is, is the door open on the cage? Is there like a way out of it, or?

Uh, you can see that it just appears to be a cage that is completely sealed.

And that pipe goes through, like that wall's not back there?

That, that

door isn't supposed to

be there. I think I

chose

the wrong cage.

And that pipe just goes back deeper and darker beyond what you can see. Unfortunately, I can't emulate that well enough in this little tool, but you can, there's water, liquid.

I'm going to walk in and hold up, like relight my staff.

Okay.

Cast the light again, and um, just kind of hold it to the pipe and see what, see what's done there.

Yeah, casting the light lets you see, you can see deeper. Within, it just seems to go deeper and it kind of tilts downward. Um, it's probably large enough for you and your friends to walk upright through this, at least what you can see so far.

Um, but it just seems to go on into the distance. You can hear the dripping of water, um, a little bit more louder than it would be if it was dripping, but not so loud as it would be if it was like a waterfall of water. Um, but when you light your torch, you make out that there is a large lever off on the side of the wall.

As well as a couple of torches that you can light with stuff if you want to, but that's just for fun at this point.

Rick just likes to click the torches. I do. Uh, what do you suppose this lever does?

I look around the room to see if there's anything, um, besides maybe, Make water come out of that pipe? I don't know.

You, Ulua, need to roll a, um, Arcana check.

What did I do?

15. You've been lighting the torches as you come down here and the other things with your Prestidigitation, and it's tempting to just like reach out with your Prestidigitation and light these, but they feel different. Something is interesting about these two torches.

Can you explain by what they mean, or what you mean by they feel different?

When you reach out with your magical senses and before you actually use prestidigitation to light them, they just tingle differently.

Can I walk up and inspect them but not touch them?

Yeah.

Um, you look at them, they appear to be very normal torches, um, simpler than the other torches you've seen.

And, I'd also, do I, do they smell like anything, like any chemicals, or? Roll a perception check. Get your sniffer on. Oh yeah, cause I'm pretty sure Ulua's is as good as mine is in real life.

Yep, pretty much. Uh, perception. Ten.

A whiff of vanilla, like a scented candle. Yeah. Yeah. A

whiff of sandalwood.

Um, so I'm not entirely sure about what's off about these torches. Um, but I can light them. I just want to give you all a heads up in case something is to happen.

Ha ha ha.

Just kidding. Um,

I'm going to wave my hand and say reveal and, uh, cast detect magic.

You see there are magical ruins that seem to be carrying water back and forth and you can see where parts of the pipes have kind of like corroded and broken over time and they're no longer functioning. You can see places where there have been leaks.

Um, You get a bright, bright emanation from the jar, the urn, that looks like the first urn you saw. And it draws a lot of your attention, because it is the brightest magical object in this space.

Hmm. There's something for sure is up with these urns.

You remember, you remember, you walked down, they told you to come here because you needed to get something.

In order to become an investigator, you were not talented in the way you needed to be talented.

Is it visible when, when this is happening to Gus? Can I like, do I notice that this is happening? Roll an insight check. In a way that I can snap him out of it.

And you remember touching something, but then all you remember is walking back out. And then you're looking at the urn. Uh, with your Dirty 20, you notice each time this happens, you see the vacant look, it's almost like a petite mouse seizure, you know, where like, there's just, there's not a lot of physicality involved, but they just checked out.

Yeah.

Maybe there's a tremor here or there, but.

And when that starts happening, if, as long as I'm aware of it, like. You know, if, if I notice that he's in the action of doing something and I see it happening, can I like put my hand on his shoulder at least as like a fail save to keep him from sleepwalking or doing like taking any action?

Yeah. You can be like prepared to restrain each time you see this happen.

I mean, it's less that and more just like,

I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's In, in case he can sense that I'm there, or in case it's helpful, like, in that way, and then, like, secondary as a fail safe, I guess. Okay.

What is the school of magic on the urns? Um,

the urn that you see here, not, not, you don't, you don't see the other one right now because you're not in the same space.

It is holy magic. It is magic of the gods. Which really casts it into a whole different realm, because it doesn't fit the constraints of magic as you really know them and use them most often.

The magic of and imparted by gods is weird, because in the world it will manifest as the various schools of magic. It will manifest as a divination magic, or a necrotic magic, or a trans Mobrification, I can't remember the word right now, but it will manifest as these various schools. Seeing in its pure form, like it is in this urn, is rare, something usually only found in temples.

Is it out of place in this temple? Or is it

Um, could you roll a religion check?

Ten. I can't quite tell, it's such a mess with what the Ascended did to this space. The age. It's here. It's not been disturbed. You all are aware of it. Or at least of these objects.

Do I have any kind of inkling that this, that urns might be what's causing the memory issue?

Go ahead and just roll for yourself an internal insight check.

14.

Awesome. You You, you're old. You've, you've been around. You don't have a lot of illusions about yourself. I've seen some shit. You don't have many, um, hangups about who and what you are, and it's not normal for you to go off in these little wanders of memory. And then you remember that the door said something about trials.

And corridors are often used in the same breath as saying the corridors of your memory. You've been traveling down these various corridors, and each time you've made a choice to go do something, or leave something, enter or exit, you've had one of these flashes of memory.

I think I'm being tested.

The door upstairs said something about a trial. I think when we take action, it sparks one of these memory flashes. Surges. I think I'm somehow being tested, but I don't understand the test.

Why only you? Maybe

you resisted it. But I didn't.

And you're not, and I turned to Seraphina. You're not having any of these flashbacks or anything?

Again, that very pulse is the brightest light in your magical sight.

And these urns are like pure holy magic. Precious. Do

you think they're what's causing the That I couldn't share?

I suppose I could try and Look at one.

Go for it.

Sharifina, if she does that, perhaps you could check out this lever. Mechanical lever.

Okay, so Seraphina, if you're checking out The Lever, why don't you go ahead and roll a investigation check using your mechanical fun tools, see if you can figure out how it's connected and what it's doing. And Ulua, since you are going to go look at one of these urns,

tell

me, tell me about it.

The look on Larissa's face was like, oh god, I'm gonna die.

Possible. Possible. I kill a lot of people. Um, I mean, it's, it's very much like a gingerly kind of

step by step at each time I take a step and nothing happens. I take a step closer, take a step closer. And then like, as I get close enough with it, I'm just going to kind of kneel down in front of it or not kneel, but like take a knee and just kind of. Peer at it. Like, are they actually shaped like these with the cats or?

You can't tell if it's a cat or some other creature, but it definitely has some of those feline looks. Could be a bat.

But it has like eyes and such. It's got eyes.

It's got ears. Okay. I'm going to like,

look at it, like examine its eyes and see if there's like something that's like hypnotizing about it or.

I'm getting bat ears, rabbit face.

But yeah, that's, that's the extent of what I do. I don't touch it.

Okay, roll a wisdom saving throw.

No, not you, dude. You were not cooperative earlier. Um,

twelve. You are looking at it, and as you're looking at it, you just have this moment where you're

in a tent, somewhere far away from, you've had this dream before. You're in a tent somewhere. And you look and you see a tiny, infantile hand,

and then the memory is gone. Gus, you also saw a hand not your own, a baby's hand in front of your face, in a strange structure that was unfamiliar to you.

Am I out of it yet? Yep. Yep, definitely the urns. Yep. And I just, I go to walk out of the room.

As you go to walk out of the room, terror strikes you. They don't respect you or your profession. You don't know what to do. They are at the door and they are doing horrific things to those you love. And this horrific memory washes over you.

in a flash. Gus, you feel this really, the terror, as you're in a room that's not a room that you recognize. And then it's over.

Um, almost as like a knee jerk reaction. Uh, to that, I'm going to cast Dispel Magic at the urn. On the urn.

You cast Dispel Magic, and Nothing happens.

Okay.

Um, I think Gus, because you still have your sight up, you see the holy magic just become a little bit stronger for a moment before fading back down.

Uh, that did not work.

I, uh, I didn't even necessarily expect it to, it was just kind of a,

just wanted the memory to stop.

Um, I, I saw her memory, is that what you're saying? Yes. Um, I'm sorry you had to, I saw that and I'm sorry you had to go through that.

For the most part, things are better now, but there are still those of us who live with that threat.

It's a constant presence in our lives, regardless of our notoriety or not, but

someday. Someday, I will make sure it never happens to any of us again. And then I keep walking out the door. And then I say, I'm gonna wait out here.

This is an over the top view of the same room that you're in right now. Um, alright. So, Ulua steps out the door. Um, Seraphina, you've been investigating this. Did you do your roles?

Yeah, uh, just a 16.

16. Um, you get the sense that this trigger will do something in the room. Um, it is currently set to an on position.

Pulling on it will turn it off, whatever it is currently doing. Um, but there's, you're kind of like tracing of the mechanical parts, you realize that they also lead to the two torches.

Um, yes, um, I'm not totally sure what it does, it's on right now, and it has something to do with the torches.

Uh, should we turn it off? Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm,

hmm, hmm.

Uh, we're gonna turn it off.

You pull the lever and it's stuck. It doesn't want to turn off shift, it won't budge. You can feel that there's like a mechanical give and Seraphina, can you just go ahead and roll, um, another, I just roll your, your, um, well, your arcana, this, you'd be the only one who could do this, but really your arcana check.

That one didn't count. I accidentally rolled in. Nature check.

She rolled a really good nature check. Do you want to learn some stuff about the room next door?

2 23, 23.

Um,

as Gus is pulling on it, you can feel 'cause it, because of your work that you do tinkering and messing around things and that you've already investigated this a little bit. When he is pulling on, it's not pulling, not because of a mechanical fault, it's perfectly fine. But one of the pri, the initiating triggers, the two torches, one of those.

Something needs to happen with one of them at least. For the mechanism to release.

Um, but I can't tell which one it is.

They both seem to have an equal component in this, and you don't know which one is going to do which thing.

We gotta do something to one of them. Can I go investigate the one on the other side?

Yeah.

Or no, that's the one that Ulua looked at, right?

Hello looked at both.

Oh, she looked at both. Okay.

Maybe we just need to light one of them or both of them.

I'm going to walk over to the other one on the far wall. I like to investigate that one to see

if

it's been lit before. If it's been lit recently. At an easy class, you can

tell that has been lit before many, many times. There is the set. from being lit. Um, as far as recently, no. Not in a long time. This is old, old

Gus, does the one near you look burnt at all?

Does it? Yeah, at an easy glance, it looks like it's been burnt away, but a bit at a time. Um,

it

also looks like these are old marks.

Maybe not recently, but yes.

I'm gonna take out a coin. I'm gonna say, alright. Edge.

I also could just Identify it.

Oh. Uh.

But I don't know if I'll need to do that later. I can only do it so often.

Or so many times. Save the spell.

Okay. Flip a coin then.

Alright. Edge, my torch. Tails, your torch. Call it.

But, Uh. Uh, T T T T Tails, mine!

Tetch.

I guess you didn't really

have to call it, did you?

Um, I can't reach it.

Oh.

Also, you have a torch and I don't, so you can just

I'm gonna walk over.

You walk over.

And I light it.

Blue flame erupts from the torch and Gus, your hand on the handle, it just suddenly And the room gets cooler and you can see the pipes are starting to hum a little bit and then you can feel the air being withdrawn from the chamber.

Uh,

should we put it out and try the other one?

Yeah, I feel like we need air.

I'll turn it off again. There's still air, it's

still flowing through air. Oh, I see,

I see. I thought it was like sucking the air out.

You can just feel the air is being moved.

So you

put out the torch? Yeah, I'd like to put that torch out. And go reverse what we just did.

The other one glows a bright pink color, different color than the other one. Um, nothing changes yet.

I will hit the switch again. You

push up the switch

this

time. And as you push the switch up, you can feel the air pushing back in again, but this time the air that's pushed in is warm.

I think we found the HVAC system. For this room.

The what?

The HVAC system.

Oh.

Uh.

And just as a hilarious note, you did just discover the HVAC system of the whole temple.

Hilarious.

What's more comfortable for us, the warm or the cold?

Well with the door closed it wasn't affecting anything but with the door open, um, and with some of the dampness of the spaces, it was.

It could dry things out. It could even dry out the area where those plants were growing.

Cold. Keep the plants alive.

I like, uh, I say we leave them warm. It's nice.

Okay. Um, I want to walk over to Ulua. And I want to go, um, I really wanted to go look at those blue specks. But I didn't want to do it until I asked.

Do you not want to go alone?

No, I'll go alone. I just didn't want to do something dumb without asking first.

Well, I think we should all go if we're going to go. So, I guess we can go look. I would be careful about any of the plants and touching any of them, though.

Okay.

Are you talking about the ones in the plant room or the ones that were upstairs in the other room?

Well, I think they're the same I think they're part of the same Itch thing.

I mean, the talking ones or the regular ones?

No, no, no, no. Okay. No

talking.

No, those ones were glittery. This is different. This is the, this is the one that were upstairs in the, the ones that were upstairs.

In the gas, that then dissipated when you lit the candle and put it in the thing, or like, they, they like, went downstairs.

All I know is we gotta find a big chest of gold, I got a house to pay for.

So you leave this room, and go back into the hallway?

Yeah, and I wanna lead the charge, but I don't want to go in yet, I just wanna like,

stick my face Oh, we left the heat on, I don't know if that matters, but

Um, I don't wanna stick my face into the room yet, I just wanna like be able to look at the blue things and just go, Hello?

Hello? And see if they respond to vocal calls.

Um, you don't see a response. They just continue to drift aimlessly.

Ulua, can I go in? Of course. You're your own person.

Do you want me to come with

you? No, no, no. Stay out here. Okay. Because it might not be good. And I would like to sneak in, in case these plants are alive. So they do not detect me. And I like to try to go towards the little blue lights.

You mean more alive than plants already are?

Yeah.

Hehehehehehehehe Yeah, like sentient ness.

And or carnivores.

Yeah, exactly. Roll your stealth check. Don't want one to grab me.

Those mushrooms look like they should be jumped on.

Boing boing boing boing.

Hehehehe.

Eleven.

Eleven. Eleven!

You slip in. Eleven! Going behind a rock. It's too hot here where you're at. You say, ouch! Making a little bit of noise as steam seems to come up from underneath the rock. You scooch over, avoiding the steam now that you've realized it's hot. You're able to get, you said going around the outside, right?

Um, yeah, just trying to avoid the plants, but get as close to the blue things as possible.

They seem to be like right in the center, so you go back around, trying again. Maybe clambering over the rock a little bit. You've got a strange dome

with glitter on it. Jump down. One of those James Bond

moves. Closer to them, there's this geode.

Giant geode right next to you.

Can you roll a charisma saving throw, please?

Saving throw. Of

course, it's the three of us that have to roll a charisma saving throw. It's Seraphina, not the charisma one. Hold what

you build, you get what you get.

You get what you get, and you don't get upset.

Hate.

Um, Ulua and Gus.

Mmhmm.

You've both had another flash of memory. Um, Ulua, you witness the internment of Gus's wife. A somber moment.

And when you both snap out of it, Seraphina hasn't been visible. And you don't know how long that was because the memory just kind of takes and goes, but they haven't been very long. But you can't see Seraphina.

Uh, Seraphina? Hello? Hello?

Do I hear guests?

You can't hear anything right now. You failed your charisma saving throw.

But we can't, we can't see her?

You can't see her.

Um Can I still get closer to the blue things? Yes, you can.

Roll another Charisma Saving Throw.

Eee!

Chase a little blue thing, catch it and put it in your pocket. Fifteen. You Try not to get charmed by a rock.

want to

go to the blue. You can't leave this stone here.

Um, you did save yourself from taking damage. Ooh, that's good. And you can feel the pain of trying to leave held you back, but you were able to avoid. Good. That pain.

So I'm not near the stone anymore?

You are near the stone. You can't leave the stone. Oh, I see what you're saying. It is the best thing you've ever seen. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. It reminds you of Ulua.

Is it that big? Can I try to pick it up?

Oh. You can try, and I need you to roll another Christmas Saving Throw.

Oh dear lord. Because if it's like a loo, I'm gonna take it with me.

Goodness.

18.

It's bigger than you are, and as you go to try to lift it, you take a breath, and then it's gone.

The rock

is gone?

Totally gone.

Can I hear now?

Who was him? Jeffrey, I don you hear whispers out in the corridor. Sounds like Gus.

Gus, I'm coming in.

I'm here. Nope, I'm good.

What happened?

Are the blue things still there?

You look for the blue drifting Dotson. They're there. They're not as interesting anymore. They're there.

Well, now that they're not as interesting, I wanna just walk up to one of them.

You walk

up into the area where they're at, Gus and Ulua, you see Seraphina walk out and she is covered. In a glittering mineral substance, her exterior has transformed.

What do you mean is transformed?

Every inch of her exposed skin is like looking into a geode.

I'm gonna walk over to her and I'm gonna cast

see if I can remove the glitter.

The polishing effect of this causes them to shine even more greatly.

Uh, Sabrina, what did you do?

Didn't do anything yet.

All of your skin looks like it's made of shiny rocks. I

stood next to a shiny rock that was very pretty. Do you look at

your skin?

Yeah, I look at it.

You can't see anything wrong.

It's shiny. You look like you.

Yeah, I look fine. I think I look fine.

Could I see anything with the Dispel Magic?

You mean Detect Magic?

Or yeah, sorry.

Yeah, there's a ton of different magics, not holy magics, but a ton of them entwined into Seraphina. And it doesn't seem to be attached necessarily directly to Seraphina, but maybe more so something that's within her now.

Um, does it hurt?

Am I in pain at all?

You feel perfectly fine.

Nope, I feel fine. Are these blue lights doing anything?

Who are you asking?

Uh, both y'all and the camera.

Everyone. Everyone. Everybody.

Everyone. Everyone gets to answer the question.

Uh, I mean, Who are you? They don't seem to have changed since the last time I was in here.

As your gaze is directed towards those Improlly guses just because your gazes are all going there, they seem to move a little bit more quickly. They're starting to kind of swirl.

Can I like Yeah,

go

ahead. No, no, no, go ahead. Go ahead.

No, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I was trying to think. You go.

I was gonna say, can I just kind of like reach out? With my magical senses similar to like how I felt the torches to see like

Like you're trying to light them on fire

No no more like

almost like a Arcane history to see if I know what they are

or like a religion check or something.

You can roll a religion check

I'm gonna roll a religion check Basically, I want to like think at them to see if they react if that makes sense to kind of like You See if there's Do you

have any telepathy?

No, just because the the whole like memory thing like it feels like there's something in my head So I don't know like and the fact that if Gus and I just looked at them.

Okay, I get where you're going Can you roll a Picking up what I'm

dropping.

Can can you roll a Religion check as well? Seraphina, what did you get for your religion check?

19

You Look at these. And these were related to the Ascended trying to take over the temple. They're fading. They're fading quickly. But your attention has given them a little bit of life and But even as they have this momentary resurgence, they're starting to fade away.

You, with a 19,

are drawn to some scientific, you know, as an artificer. Um, investigations into the nature of the holy creatures and, and, and the gods and other bits and pieces and kind of like the decomposing them into hard facts. And these motes might be motes of worship.

It's an interesting place to, to sit at with, with like these might literally be what leads to someone becoming a god.

Uh, Ulua, what'd you get for your religion check?

Sex! No. I

can tell you this,

these

motes and the other motes don't live in the same house, um, and your memory thing, not connected to these motes.

Got it.

The only thing I want to look for in this room is, is there, I'm sure not because all these plants are like alive, but are there any gilded flowers?

Uh.

I just need the material for one of my spells. I just thought I would look around for it.

Roll a nature check.

18.

18. Um, uh, well. The flowers on the ground and the mushrooms on the ground aren't of a high interest. The wall mushrooms here and on the other side, these are extremely valuable. You recognize them from your days as a child growing up in the Underdark. But these are extremely valuable. This is better than any treasure chest.

And if you could take the time to harvest them, they'd be worth quite a lot to the right buyer.

Like, ooh, these mushrooms are very rare. We should

sell them.

Do you know how to harvest them correctly?

Uh, sure.

Sure, I just rolled an 18

on my no tune

switch. DM, do I know how to harvest them?

Oh, what'd you say you rolled?

An 18. Yeah. Yeah, I should do it like this, and then I just like

We end our session. As Gus teaches Seraphina and Ulua the art and artistry of shroom harvesting.

Let's see.

Join us next time as we all trip halt.

Uh, and that's where we're going to close out is, uh, shroom harvesting in a temple. And we'll pick up next time with our continued adventures in the temple.

Maybe you'll actually step on something dangerous and go into battle. Hey, look, I just

flipped a random switch and nothing happened. It's not my fault. I tried. I tried to kill us, Rurik.

I know. You were giving me the fun.

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